therapeutic parenting

We talk today with Sarah Naish, the CEO of the Center of Excellence in Child Trauma and founder of the National Association of Therapeutic Parents. She is the author of "The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting" and "The A-Z of Survival Strategies for Therapeutic Parents." She is the adoptive mom to a sibling group of 5 who are now adults and she has fostered over 40 kids.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why are some kids harder to parent and why especially are kids who have experienced trauma, including prenatal trauma, often harder to parent?
• Understanding the cause of the behavior is the root of parenting harder to parent kids.
• Establish the basics to make their lives predictable so they can feel safe and grow and heal. The elements for establishing this base:
  • Routines
  • Establish yourself as a safe base-empathetic and nurturing but in control
    • Respond to the child, not to the child’s demand
• Be honest about their story, contact, etc. – be factual, but don’t fill in the gaps
• Establish strong, clear boundaries- what to do when these boundaries are crossed?
• Use natural or life consequences
  • Our kids may not recognize cause and effect.
    • Early trauma, including prenatal exposure, can hinder a child’s ability to recognize cause and effect
    • Our kids may be developmentally younger than their chronological years which also impacts understanding.
  • Natural consequences help children recognize that they can make an impact on the world-helps them make sense of the world
  • Combine natural consequences with nurturance.
• How to handle incidents when they happen. PARENTS model.
  • Pause-to allow you to respond with intention not emotion.
  • Assess-is anyone in danger or serious damage.
  • Reflection-quick reflection to identify the trigger.
  • Empathize rather than ask questions
    • use empathetic commentary-
    • respond to their feelings rather than the behavior.
  • Nurture-examples of nurturing in the heat of the moment.
  • Think about next action to take.
    • What strategies might I use to resolve this? Do you need to do anything else?
    • How can we avoid this situation in the future?
  • Self-care
• Other parenting strategies for harder to parent kids. Other tools for your toolkit.
  • Identify your triggers.
  • Set realistic expectations.
  • Use silliness or playfulness.
  • Remove the audience.
  • Help kids show they are sorry rather than demand they say they are sorry.
  • The phone strategy.
  • Watch what the child is doing rather than what she is saying.
  • Payback time.
  • Admit it when you made a mistake.

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

In this third and final episode from our Conference Special, podcast host Serena Gay talks to childhood abuse survivor Rosie Jefferies about breaking the circle of abuse to become a good parent.

Rosie is also the Managing Director of the National Association of Therapeutic Parenting (NATP) and spoke most movingly at the conference with colleague Sarah Dillon  about their personal surivival stories during the National Conference day in Solihull.

A key element to success not just for abuse survivors but also for their foster and adoptive parents is essential self care. And during the Conference Day there was plenty of help and advice available on this theme. You can hear more about it from volunteer Lindsay Bodman and Emma Edwards, Director of the Haven Parenting and Wellbeing Centre on this episode.


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The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference focused on a huge variety of issues that challenge parents and social workers nationwide.

Everyone had a chance to explore solutions for their own personal difficulties and challenges and in this episode, we focus on the schools discussions and on the dilemmas faced by Kinship Carers and Special Guardians. 

In this edition, Serena Gay talks to Daniel Thrower, CEO of the Wensum Trust and to Sair Penna , Director of Wickselm House.  In the second part of the podcast, she talks to the COECT's Jane Mitchell and to Kinship carer Ian Fogg as well as to attendee, Kay. 

Find out why Kay needed to attend and what value she felt she took away.

                                                                                                       ***

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference attracted parents and professionals from around the country.

It was an emotional day. Well, it would be wouldn't it because so much to do with fostering and adopting children from trauma involves raw emotion.

Billed as "your roadmap of strategies through to sanity", reflected  the difficulties that come with parenting traumatised children as well as the need for self-care to build the resilience required to keep going.

In this edition, Serena Gay talks to the COECT's Sarah Naish and Sarah Dillon who opened the conference with a talk on strategies to cope with "Clouds of Grief, Guilt and Anxiety".

This edition also features an interview with the NATP's Glynis Hough who has many years of successful fostering experience but who recently experienced great anguish when her foster daughter left the family for good.

Find out more about her story and why she wanted conference attendees to know all about it.

                                                                                                       ***

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

In this last episode of Series 2,  expert Sarah Dillon explains how and why trauma has such a profound and negative effect on the relationship children have with food. 

Their behaviours with it might include:

• hoarding 
• stealing 
• hiding 
• eating all the time 
• refusing food 
• only eating certain types of food 
• gorging on sugar or sugar products

All of these have a perfectly good explanation which reflect the upsetting experiences of a child's early years.

Not only are all these behaviours typical of a child who has undergone abuse and neglect,  but they also express the need to find replacements for the love and care that has been missing.

What they require from their parents now are the therapeutic parenting techniques set out by Sarah who brings humour and colour to the strategies she knows, from experience, really work.

                                                                                                        ***

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

A child in a state of dissociation can be a strange and disturbing thing to witness.

In this week's edition, Jessica Jackson - whose own small son has a tendency to dissociate - talks us through why this happens and above all, what to do when it does.

Dissociating can best be described as mentally leaving the room.

If you are parenting a traumatized child you may be aware that they seem to go into a trance and be completely unaware of what is happening around them.

This could well be a repeat of the survival mechanism that served them well during times of extreme stress before they joined your family.

We don't always know what triggers them into displaying dissociation in what are now safe and happy homes - but they can hurt themselves during such episodes and Jessica gives us some excellent coping strategies.

Concerned parents who are also members of the NATP (part of COECT's umbrella group) are welcome to contact us for one to one help.

You can find out more about COECT and the NATP's training, listening circles and support here https://www.naotp.com/

                                                                                                    *** 

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

In the first edition of Series 2, you'll hear plenty of therapeutic parenting strategies for coping with the inevitable loneliness and isolation experienced by the parents of traumatised children.

COECT's CEO Sarah Naish talks about her own challenging experience bringing up five siblings from a traumatised background on her own after the break-up of her marriage.

She tells us how other mums distanced themselves from her family because of her adopted children's difficult behaviour. Sarah became increasingly isolated and desperate for empathetic listeners willing to simply listen to her troubles.

All this eventually prompted her to found what has become COECT and the NATP to provide all kinds of training and empathetic help for troubled adoptive and foster parents.

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

As a trailblazer in the field of therapeutic parenting, COECT founder Sarah Naish has made a profound difference to the lives of many struggling foster and adoptive parents.

She also runs fostering agencies in England and Wales where her effective strategies are applied.

The agencies empower families to make a success of fostering even when things appear to be at their most difficult.

This week Sarah tells us what defines a therapeutic fostering agency and how her own ones provide wraparound support when problems arise.

Learn about how the True Fostering Agency and the new SAfER Fostering Agency in Wales   successfully guide parents through difficulties that include false allegations, compassion fatigue and mental health issues.

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The links Sarah refers to in this episode are:
https://www.truefostering.com
and
https://saferfostering.org.uk

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

The damage inflicted on a child as a result of domestic violence - be it physical or emotional - can have a catastrophic effect on their young lives. 

In this episode, Rachel Cawthorn, helps us to understand why this is the case and what physiological changes take place in a child as a result of this abuse. 

Rachel is a social work student and was a senior practitioner in substance misuse for 15 years.   She also experienced domestic violence as a child and, as a result, entered into two toxic relationships as a young adult which took their toll on her four children. 

All this is now firmly in Rachel's past but no one could be better placed to understand the damage inflicted by this kind of abuse. 

This is why her advice on how to apply therapeutic parenting's kind and gentle techniques is worth heeding. 

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The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

"Bazza" is a professional social worker with in-depth experience of working in the family courts protecting the rights - and the futures - of children. 

For good professional reasons, she has to remain anonymous. 

But on this podcast edition she provides us with an invaluable insight into how the family courts arrive at their decisions. 

Decisions which make fundamental differences to people's lives and most especially, to traumatized children's lives.

"Bazza" explains about the research, the soul-seeking, and the genuine desire to do the right thing that goes into the court's pronouncements.  

Our first male guest of this series joins us on this podcast edition to talk about a father’s experience of therapeutic parenting. 

Kinship Carer, Iain Fogg and his wife have cared for the daughter he refers to on the podcast as “kiddo” (not her real name), for the last two years.   

We learn about the so-called honeymoon period and its aftermath, secondary trauma and compassion fatigue. 

Iain also discusses the grief he underwent for the loss of the idealized vision he imagined life as a foster father would be like. 

He presents a stark but ultimately hope-filled story not of the the kind of dad he wanted to be but of the kind of dad he needed to be. 

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In this episode Iain talked about the film “Instant Family” as the one that originally inspired him and his wife to investigate fostering further. 

Iain’s Instagram account is called “TherapeuticDad” and he welcomes all new followers.

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

In this episode, Jessica Jackson, an academic and practicing social worker as well as the adopter of two sibling boys joins us to advise on how to help a traumatized child go to sleep. 

Wherever childhood trauma occurs, sleep will be impacted. 

Nightime might well be associated with bad memories and it is well known that traumatized children are more susceptible to nightmares and night terrors. 

Jessica knows what she talking about from a professional and personal point of view. Here she advises us on:

• Why sleep is disturbed for traumatized children 
• How to establish key bedtime routines  
• What kind of food to give to help children feel sleepy
• How to make your child's bedroom conducive to sleep 
• How to respond to their emotional behaviour and to reassure them 
• How to cocoon and make a child feel safe
• Why parents shouldn’t feel guilty if things don’t always go to plan 

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

Today's guest, Rosie Jefferies, the Managing Director of COECT, talks frankly about the fears and emotions she experienced as a small child at the start of her adoption journey.

Rosie's profound early life trauma meant she was understandably distrustful of all adults. Indeed she viewed them as dangerous to herself and to her four younger siblings.

In this podcast she gives a moving description of the fearful emotions she felt on moving in with her adoption family for the first time.

She contrasts the dark of her past with the bright light of the new family home which eventually came to represent safety and security to her.

Rosie is now a successful businesswoman, a wife and mother to a securely attached little boy. She has an immensely positive view of the world. This podcast edition will undoubtedly give hope to families struggling to cope. 

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

Today's guest, Sarah Dillon, spent much of her childhood in care.

Now a child and adult therapist, she is an internationally-recognised expert with experience on both sides of the therapeutic parenting fence.

In this episode, she speaks to parents who all too often feel judged when their traumatised child displays regressive behaviours in public - such as screaming tantrums in the supermarket or shoplifting.  

As she says, it's one thing dealing with small children in such cases, quite another with a much older and bigger child. 

Listen to this podcast episode to discover why parents have absolutely no need to feel failures but why developing  "a skin like an elephant and a heart like a marshmallow" are necessary coping strategies.

 The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

First meetings and moving your adoptive child in to join your family can be among the most important in helping a child, especially a traumatised one, settle well.

COECT expert Jane Mitchell knows from personal experience about the pitfalls and gives clear and essential advice in this podcast on how to handle both these important occasions.

Her words of wisdom centre around understanding what is going through the mind of the child based on their previous experiences - which might have taught them to be very wary indeed of adults. But parents also need to  understand their own mindset and how they might need to take a step back and reduce their expectations.

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

You may be puzzling over why your traumatised child's behaviour around birthdays and festivities becomes even more challenging and difficult than normal. 

Our expert guest on the podcast this week,  Glynis Hough, is a Foster Parent with decades of experience, a parent of multicultural children, a former social worker and a parent coach. 

She’s been been involved with the National Association of Therapeutic Parenting (NATP) since its inception.   

Glynis explains in detail why your traumatised child's ability to trust adults - profoundly undermined by their early life experiences - makes them question their own sense of self-worth.

This leads to all sorts of complicated and unexpected behaviour patterns at any time, but particularly during family celebrations. 

Here Glynis talks about her own experiences and effective strategies for coping. 

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.ukt

Website - www.coect.co.uk

Developmental Trauma Disorder is a little known phrase that is only now beginning to gain traction with health authorities.

Why is it important?

As this week's guest, Sarah Naish, explains -  it is the right term to describe the behavioural characteristics displayed by children due to neglect and trauma or by those who experienced serious pre-birth problems.

All too often, their symptoms are diagnosed as post traumatic stress disorder complex. But this is not the correct diagnosis and can lead to wrong assumptions by professionals that end up with the child being misdiagnosed.

As Sarah says, "it's time we woke up and smelt the coffee and recognise developmental trauma for what it is". 

As mentioned on the podcast, you can find Sarah's book "The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting" here

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.ukt

Website - www.coect.co.uk

The Therapeutic Parenting Podcast welcomes parents, children and supporting professionals to this first edition.

Meet Sarah Naish, CEO and Founder of the Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma and the author of best selling books on Therapeutic Parenting.

She and her team have built up an impressive array of services to help those whose lives are being torn apart by the consequences of early life trauma and neglect. 

You can find out where to go for immediate help and advice here on the podcast or here on the website. 

Sarah also explains the significance of our penguin logo and why it is such a relevant image for those parenting children who suffered early life abuse or traumatic experiences even before birth.

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.ukt

Website - www.coect.co.uk