child trauma

Welcome to The Top 10 Series! Today, we’re leaping into our #7 most popular episode, Beyond Damaging Parents—Living Happily Ever After, with special guest, the wonderful Dr. Lindsay Gibson. Dr. Gibson dramatically and importantly spotlights how the “emotional immaturity” of parents can hinder and hold us back in our adulthood, and how we can regain trust in ourselves and break free from the destructive and confusing effects of negative “programming” from childhood.

 In her book, Who You Were Meant To Be, Dr. Gibson focuses on how people can reconnect with their true self and sense of purpose, especially after experiencing negative parental impacts in childhood. In her subsequent books, Dr. Gibson introduces “Emotionally Immature Parents” and provides learning and tools to overcome the impacts of these parents, and how to rely on our own emotional guidance, strengthen our self-awareness, and increase our energy to live a full, happy, and purposeful life in adulthood.

   Dr. Gibson holds a Master’s degree and a Doctorate of Psychology in Clinical Psychology, and has also taught doctoral students in Clinical Psychology. She specializes in adult psychotherapy and personal growth counseling. 

   As Dr. Gibson highlights, “Your true self is so much more than your family role. Your past identity may have been formed in your relationship with your parents, but who you will become derives from your relationship to yourself.”

    We went a bit longer on this podcast because you can imagine there was a quite a lot to talk about – so if you need to break up your listening, please do – because there’s great insights through until the very end!

For more resources, visit www.OvercomingChildSexualAbuse.com and www.End1in4.org

Do you worry about what is normal in your child's sexual development? Join us to talk with Roy Van Tassell , a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oklahoma and Director of Trauma and Evidence-based Interventions for Centene Health. He co-chairs the National Child Traumatic Stress Networks’ subcommittee on children with problem sexual behaviors.

Warning: We will be using anatomically correct words and talking about sex, so if this offends you or triggers you, you may want to skip this podcast.

In this episode, we cover:

Typical Sexual Development / Play

• What is typical sexual development in children as they age?
• What type of sexual play is considered “normal?”
• How should parents manage a child’s natural sexual development?

Problematic Sexual Behaviors

• What are Problem Sexual Behaviors in Children?
• What causes kids and youth to act in socially unacceptable or destructive sexual ways? What factors influence the development of these behaviors?
• Child vulnerabilities
  • Behavior problems
  • Emotional difficulties
  • Developmental delays
  • Low impulse control
• Family vulnerabilities
  • Poor supervision
  • Single caregiver
• Modeling of coercion
  • Harsh parenting practices
  • Physical abuse
  • Domestic violence
• Modeling of sexuality
  • Sexual abuse
  • Modeling/exposure
  • Nudity or poor family boundaries
• How common are problematic sexual behaviors?
• Suggestions for professionals and parents and how to respond to behaviors.
• What should parents and caregivers do?
• Rules for younger kids
• How effective is therapy? 
• How to find a therapist? 
  • What training have they had in this area?
  • Child development expertise (including sexual development)

Resources:

• Taking Action booklets (two booklets) – for children with problematic sexual behaviors (age 12 and younger) and one for 13+
• Resources at the National Center on Sexual Behavior of Youth – really good resources for caregivers and parents.
• National Center for Exploited Children—for kids to understand safety—teaching them safety skills to protect their own body
• Amaze.org—videos for children
• National Child Traumatic Stress Network
  • A.J.’s Story— A Book About Not OK Touches

 This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

This "Where Are They Now?" episode with Jordan is a follow-up to the first conversation we recorded on 01/19/2021.  Jordan's first episode went live as episode 44 on 4/27/2021. You may want to check out that episode first, then come back to this follow-up episode.

In this follow-up episode, Jordan shares about the devastating loss of his older brother to a fentanyl overdose only a week after we recorded his first episode. In the time since, Jordan has been able to maintain his sobriety. However, in this episode, he goes into more depth on the impact the loss of his best friend, followed by the loss of his brother, had on him - and his sobriety.

Sobriety aside, Jordan also shares how his spiritual beliefs have been shaped by the loss of his best friend, Chase, and his older brother, Josh. And what he looks forward to in the future. Jordan is currently traveling Europe after living in Los Angeles for 11 years. He shares how leaving the glitz, glam, and city life has offered him the opportunity and experience of a lifetime. And maybe, for the first time, the time and space to discover how he wishes to define what success means to him moving forward.

RESOURCES:

• Workaway.info
• Ep. 65 | Sirry Berndsen | The Spirit World Walks Among Us
• The Story of God with Morgan Freeman

CONNECT:

• Instagram

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NEED HELP?

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
• Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.

Are you enjoying the podcast? Check out my bi-weekly newsletter, The Unleashed Letters.

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA: 

• Instagram
• Website
• LinkedIn
• Facebook

This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.

In this podcast episode, Kristen Hernandez, a therapist specializing in child trauma, shares her insights and encounters with troubled children in educational settings. She discusses her efforts in assisting both school staff and parents in comprehending and empathizing with these children. Emphasizing the significance of raising mental health awareness, she highlights how a broader understanding of these issues equips individuals to effectively navigate them in their everyday experiences. Additionally, the episode explores the effects of Covid-19 on those who have experienced trauma.

Follow Kristen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/olivebranchmentalhealth/

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Thanks to Anew Behavioral Health for sponsoring this podcast. If you or a loved one is seeking help with mental health, behavioral health, or substance abuse, visit https://www.anewbh.com/ or email helpnow@anewbh.com for help.

If you would like to be a guest on our show or want to submit topic ideas or questions, drop us a note here: 

https://forms.gle/jbnP4HxfuuwVHD698

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DISCLAIMER

The information provided by Help & Back should not be considered personal medical or mental health advice. It is not a substitute for professional care. Consult your own healthcare providers for specific guidance and do not rely solely on our content. We do not diagnose or treat conditions, and our advice should not be taken as medical or psychological guidance. Contact your healthcare provider if you have concerns or suspect an issue.

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Episode Production Credits

• Leo Massoud

What Shape Are Your Emotions In?

Did you know that emotions had a shape? I personally did not until I was approached recently by this week's guests. As someone who talks a lot on the podcast about emotions and how we need to understand and react well to our emotions, I was intrigued. It wasn't until I began to look in to Matthew & Chantal from 5th.Place that I knew about the Shape of Emotion...

What is the "Shape of Emotion?"

"Shape of Emotion is a model, process and tool of how we structure, store, represent and regulate our inner feeling states."  Working at the intersection of mindfulness and affective science, Chantal Dawtrey and Matthew Green of 5th Place developed Shape of Emotion as one way to address the scale of the mental health problem that stands in the way of learning, potential and hope. You can find some incredible tools and learn more about Shape of Emotion by visiting the 5th.Place website or listening to Matthew & Chantal's podcast "Emotions Matter. Really!"

Check out our show notes for more info: www.DerateTheHate.com

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us leading a better life. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on Facebook, MeWe, Instagram, Twitter . Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio. Please leave us a rating and feedback. Send me a message on any media platform or subscribe directly from our sites. Let us know about someone you think should be on our podcast. If we book them for a conversation, I’ll send you a free gift! Not on social media? You can share your thoughts directly with me at wilk@wilksworld.com

I look forward to hearing from you!

Please check out our affiliates page by clicking HERE!

What have you done today to make your life a better life? What have you done today to make the world a better place? The world is a better place if we are better people. That begins with each of us as individuals. Be kind to one another. Be grateful for everything you’ve got. Make each and every day the day that you want it to be!

Please follow The Derate The Hate podcast on:

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Subscribe to us wherever you enjoy your audio or directly from our site. Please leave us a rating and feedback on Apple podcasts or other platforms. Not on social media? You can share your thoughts or request Wilk for a speaking engagement on our site’s contact page: DerateTheHate.com/Contact

If you would like to support the show, you’re welcome to DONATE or shop Amazon by going through our Support Us page and I’ll earn through qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Every human being experiences trauma to some degree. We don't have to experience "Big T Traumas" for those experiences to leave an imprint on our hearts and bodies.

At age 5, Kimberly had such an experience after witnessing her father physically abuse her mother while she and her older sibling were present. And, because they were in a vehicle, there was nowhere to run or hide. Afterward, her father dropped off her mother and sibling at a family member's home. On the other hand, Kimberly was taken by her father to sleep elsewhere and away from her family, with terror in her body and fear in her heart. From that day forward, Kimberly's life changed forever.

Kimberly was left in the care of her father's sister and husband, where Kimberly went from a family unit of four and an older sibling she adored to becoming an only child. She became estranged from her immediate biological family in an instant. Her older sister remained with their parents and experienced the addition of more siblings that came along over the years that Kim had no part of, too, which only added to her grief over the years.

Defining moments like these shape the rest of our lives and impact who we become and how we show up in the world. Kimberly had to learn how to build her self-esteem, that self-love is the best love, and that she was worthy of love no matter what she did or didn't do for others.

Kimberly shares a lesson her adopted father shared with her: "Stand for something, or you'll fall for anything." I believe Kimberly did just that by finding and sharing her voice.

RESOURCES:

• Book, The Epitome of Kimmy: Accept & Embrace It All
• Website (Free Affirmations)

CONNECT:

• Facebook

 _____

NEED HELP?

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
• Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

If you or anyone you know is struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.

Are you enjoying the podcast? Check out my bi-weekly newsletter, The Unleashed Letters.

💛 Would you like to Learn Your Energy Type? Free Quiz ➡️ HERE! ⬅️

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

• Rate & Review: Apple Podcasts
• Purchase my publi

This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.

He felt unwanted, unloved, unvalued, and didn’t believe he had a purpose in life. Today’s guest is a friend whose story exemplifies the purpose of this podcast—Hope.

This episode is for anyone out there who has ever believed that they just didn’t measure up or fit in. Most of us have had experiences like that in our childhood, but it’s not just children who struggle with self-worth.  As adults, we are supposed to have it all together, right?  We can’t appear weak, uncertain, or that we don’t have a place in society.

The truth is, most of us have areas in our lives that we don’t want to talk about.  Maybe it is secret sin or simply that we don’t want people to know the truth—that we really don’t have it all together.  In fact, if we were honest some of us would say that our lives are spinning out of control.  We may be on the brink of disaster, but for 90 minutes on Sunday mornings, we could be nominated for an Emmy by appearing “normal” at church. After all, as Christians, we are not allowed to have personal struggles.

You need to hear this…YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.

You are about to hear Ed’s story.  It started as a young child but continued for much of his young life.  He should not have had to endure it.  Life should have been better. Maybe you can relate to Ed. 

I’m thankful that Ed is willing to share his story so that others can have hope. What you are about to hear has been shared with only a handful of people, but Ed has changed lives and will continue to change lives for eternity because of the HOPE he has in Jesus.

Contact Ed Grable: 
EGrable@GatewayEPC.org

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In this third and final episode from our Conference Special, podcast host Serena Gay talks to childhood abuse survivor Rosie Jefferies about breaking the circle of abuse to become a good parent.

Rosie is also the Managing Director of the National Association of Therapeutic Parenting (NATP) and spoke most movingly at the conference with colleague Sarah Dillon  about their personal surivival stories during the National Conference day in Solihull.

A key element to success not just for abuse survivors but also for their foster and adoptive parents is essential self care. And during the Conference Day there was plenty of help and advice available on this theme. You can hear more about it from volunteer Lindsay Bodman and Emma Edwards, Director of the Haven Parenting and Wellbeing Centre on this episode.


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The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference focused on a huge variety of issues that challenge parents and social workers nationwide.

Everyone had a chance to explore solutions for their own personal difficulties and challenges and in this episode, we focus on the schools discussions and on the dilemmas faced by Kinship Carers and Special Guardians. 

In this edition, Serena Gay talks to Daniel Thrower, CEO of the Wensum Trust and to Sair Penna , Director of Wickselm House.  In the second part of the podcast, she talks to the COECT's Jane Mitchell and to Kinship carer Ian Fogg as well as to attendee, Kay. 

Find out why Kay needed to attend and what value she felt she took away.

                                                                                                       ***

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma's November 2021 conference attracted parents and professionals from around the country.

It was an emotional day. Well, it would be wouldn't it because so much to do with fostering and adopting children from trauma involves raw emotion.

Billed as "your roadmap of strategies through to sanity", reflected  the difficulties that come with parenting traumatised children as well as the need for self-care to build the resilience required to keep going.

In this edition, Serena Gay talks to the COECT's Sarah Naish and Sarah Dillon who opened the conference with a talk on strategies to cope with "Clouds of Grief, Guilt and Anxiety".

This edition also features an interview with the NATP's Glynis Hough who has many years of successful fostering experience but who recently experienced great anguish when her foster daughter left the family for good.

Find out more about her story and why she wanted conference attendees to know all about it.

                                                                                                       ***

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is an umbrella organisation combining resources, research and knowledge from cutting edge experts in the sector – Inspire Training Group, National Association of Therapeutic Parents, Sarah Naish – Keynote Speaker and Author, The Haven – Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Safer Fostering. 

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/CoEChildTrauma

Telephone – 01453 519000 

Email – info@coect.co.uk 

Website - www.coect.co.uk

Desirae walks us through her childhood trauma and shares what it was like as she took on the role of parent for her siblings. We talk about the circumstances of her neglect, from foraging to feed herself to her unfortunate living conditions. Desirae tells us how she has been able to come to terms with her trauma, what the healing process looks like for her, and how she has been able to find her passion for helping others through her story and sharing it with the World.
You can follow along her journey as well as check out some of her more detailed videos about her childhood through her TikTok @dezyluvbug (https://www.tiktok.com/@dezyluvbug)

The art created from this episode is for sale in limited quantity on https://www.jescajaymes.com

Join our supportive Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/iampowerclub
Follow us on Instagram & tag us in your posts & stories! @iampowerclub (https://www.instagram.com/iampowerclub)

Thank you so much for joining this community & can't wait to meet you!

I get really fired up when a podcast guest shares their story of, essentially, their emotional pain being dismissed. Instead of their pain being addressed when seeking help, their symptoms are "addressed."

If misguided white coats started to flip that around, and look at the bigger picture and set aside the big pharma kickbacks, and become patient-centered, we'd maybe be in a less dire situation when it comes to mental health in the U.S. than we are today.

Both Brianne and Jordan ended up finding holistic means of addressing their grief and trauma. And, they are the perfect examples that it is possible.

What grievers also need to understand is that there is no magic pill. As Brianne shared in her episode (Episode 44), you have to dig through your shit to find your gold. And, as Jordan shared in his (Episode 44), he found that therapy and EMDR were what he needed and has since been off all meds that he was told he needed to be on (since childhood).

Let's stop pushing the pills and let's start pushing for patient-centered care and holistic, unharmful ways to help people heal. Grief Recovery and Reiki have been my saving graces.

AN INVITATION:
Have a story of holistic healing of something specific that worked for you? I'd love to hear from you. Or, do you know of any medical studies that have followed medicated children well into adulthood? I'd be interested in hearing about that, too. If you're a researcher who has dug into this matter, even better - I want you on my podcast. Reach out to me via the links below.

RESOURCES:

• Ep 43 | Brianne Davis
• Ep 44 | Jordan Brodie
• Jordan Brodie  / BE YOUR SELFIE BRACELET
• Helping Children With Loss
• Grief Recovery 

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Need help?

Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

FREE resources are available HERE.

Are you enjoying the podcast? Check out my bi-weekly newsletter, The Unleashed Letters.

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

• Subscribe & Review: Apple Podcasts
• Follow & Listen  Spotify | 

This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.

Jordan grew up knowing he was different. And, it was in that knowing where he could be himself with his loving, supportive father.

However, in the outside world, he navigated the harsh reality of mean kids. Aside from his sexuality, growing up as a child of a deaf adult (CODA) also felt like a dirty little secret.

What happened, as Jordan grew, is years of trying to deal with being put in a special class for kids with high intelligence, and in middle school, he found himself drinking and starting to experiment with drugs. This was on top of the medication he had been put on and was on since the age of 8, and was later able to get off for "diagnosed" ADHD and anxiety, which, by the way, he's no longer taking.

The years that followed were challenging and would lead Jordan to follow his childhood friend to Hollywood, who also would later die of an accidental drug overdose, who was the one who took Jordan to his first meeting to get addiction support. Thankful for that start in sobriety, Jordan has been sober for four years, but not without a lot of inner work and therapy.

On top of the grief Jordan shares in this episode, one week following our recording, his older brother, who is deaf and who had also been struggling with addiction, died of a fentanyl overdose. Jordan will be coming back on the podcast to record a follow-up. In the meantime, as you listen to Jordan's many stories of loss, attempt to put yourself in his shoes.

RESOURCES:

• The Grief Recovery Handbook
• Sibling Revelry Podcast

CONNECT WITH JORDAN: INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

• @brodiejmusic on TikTok/Snapchat
• Purchase BeYourSelfie Bracelet

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Need help?

• Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

Free resources HERE.

Are you enjoying the podcast? Check out my bi-weekly newsletter, The Unleashed Letters.
______

SUPPORT THE SHOW:

• Subscribe & Review:

This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.

Actress, Podcaster, and Author, Brianne Davis shares, for the first time, about the loss of who she once was.

Brianne has come to terms, with the help of therapy and the 12-step program for sex and love addiction, to understand the depths and impact of being sexually abused as a child. And, how that experience, along with early exposure to what she believed love was impacted her well into adulthood.

She would find herself choosing a profession where she could blend into the roles of another person within a script, which was fitting since she was struggling in her own skin.

Follow along Brianne's journey of awareness to wholeness as went through a 9-month men detox, and later as she wrote her book,  Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict: A Novel.

Today, Brianne shares her full and complete heart that no longer looks to the outside world for validation and comfort, through supporting others who wish to share their secrets on her podcast, Secret Life.

Connect with Brianne: Website | Instagram

Resources: 

• Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous
• Book | Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict: A Novel
• Podcast | Secret Life

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Need help?

• Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

If you or anyone you know is struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, there are free resources available HERE.

Are you enjoying the podcast? Check out my bi-weekly newsletter, The Unleashed Letters.
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WAYS TO SUPPORT THE SHOW:

• Tell Your Friends & Share Online!
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This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.

Stormy Rose was not always her name. Even though she was born with this name, 'the system' told her she couldn't have that name and that she must change it. The stability in her life was nonexistent, so how could changing the only thing that was constant in your life be so devastating to an 11 year old?  That's just it. Her name was the only stable thing in her life.

The journey of being in the Foster Care System was tough and difficult. Moving around from home to home, being taken advantage of, being taken for granted, missing out on being adopted through 3 failed adoption attempts would make someone want to give up. Stormy had different plans. She was going to show everyone that she could excel and outshine anyone else. And, she did. However, it came with a price.

One particular circumstance forced Stormy to realize that her identity and her name meant more to her than top executive status, the big house, or the luxury cars, she finally became free and came to terms with what happiness really is. 

During a meltdown, do you know how to calm your child?

Raising a higher-needs child can be exhausting.

For the mom in the trenches, finding a way to calm her child during a meltdown can feel impossible.

Girl, I know this because I’ve lived it.

All of the parenting strategies I knew to use were absolutely useless.

Everything I depended on to anchor my identity as a good Christian mom dissipated.

In hindsight, I can see that my perspective on parenting was pretty skewed from the beginning.

There are millions of adoptive, foster and special needs families in our country living this life of chaos, fear and shame.

Historically, I viewed childhood behaviors as do most in our culture: through the lens of all behavior is willful.

My heart hurts for all of the kids who grow up believing that they are “inherently bad” because they can’t seem to get it together.

It’s ok to parent our kids differently, Sweet Momma.   We can do this together.

For more information, post transcript and time stamps visit:  https://aheartforallstudents.com/aheart-17/