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In this episode, I talk about how self-love works and why you need to have it in your life. You're not being selfish or conceding you're healing your body and soul.
Love Yourself
Your confidence controls your actions.
If you constantly tell yourself negative things about yourself, how do you think your life will be.
You may not tell yourself that you hate yourself, but you may be saying “I’m so stupid. Or I’m not smart enough for that? You don’t have to have a hate speech in your head. You just need to talk down to yourself or have self-doubt. Not only do your thoughts affect you but they affect everyone around you. Your thoughts about yourself affect how you attract someone into your life.
If you are constantly down on yourself then you will attract someone that is the same way.
Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.
Think of this. Think of a child that grows up with an abusive father that constantly tells that child how bad he is. How he is stupid and will never get anything he wants. Imagine that in your mind. How do you see that playing out? Well, that’s nothing different than what you’re doing to yourself. The abuser is you. You know that a child can walk away or move out. But you can’t walk away from yourself. If you talk down to yourself or shame yourself you are your own abuser, you have to admit it to yourself. Until you do you will not change.
Ok here is something I want you to do. This comes from a great coach I listened to. Take out a piece of paper and write down every bad thing you say about yourself. But write it down as if you’re talking to yourself. Things like “Your fat”, your stupid, your ugly, you never finish the things you do. Now take your list into the other room, sit down, and read it to your little sister. They say “I can’t do that: Well, if you can't say those things to your little sister then why are you saying it to yourself?
Another good example is a good friend of yours gets dumped by someone and she calls you crying. And instead of you supporting her you say things like “Well what do you expect you're overweight you're not fun to be around You're negative and you're ugly.” No, you would not, so why are you saying it to yourself? What do you say to yourself when you're looking in the mirror? You need to stop thinking all those negative thoughts about yourself and stop saying positive things. This is the law of attraction.
Another thing you need to stop doing is comparing yourself to someone else. You look at other people that are in better shape have more money are more successful. And think to yourself well why am I not there? Well, you will be there if you put in the work that they did.
How do you feel when you haven't seen someone in a while and they see you and they praise you about how good you look and how much you've accomplished? Doesn't that make you feel good? Well, you can get that same feeling by telling yourself that. And you can put in the work to get to that point where people say that to you all the time.
Once you start loving yourself you're putting that energy into the universe and once again the universe will give you that love back. Focusing on yourself is not being selfish. You will attract what you want in your life by being the person that you want to be.
Ways to practice self-love include:
Becoming mindful. People with more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
Taking actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
Practicing good self-care. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.
Making room for healthy habits. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about yourself.
5 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself
Do something kind.
Being kind to others brings back kindness to yourself.
Become your hero for the day.
Do something for yourself. Something to boost your energy and happiness.
Retrain your thoughts.
Instead of thinking I can’t ask yourself how can I?
Admit your flaws and take action.
Acknowledge and change.
Relationship analysis.
How do you treat others and how do they respond?
You will have negative thoughts about yourself But with time that will change. You will become a better and happier person.