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    #166 Kevin Kelly: Excellent Advice for Living

    enMay 16, 2023
    What insights can we gain from disagreeable perspectives?
    How does Kevin Kelly define practical advice?
    What role does forgiveness play in personal growth?
    Why is it important to define our own success metrics?
    What ethical concerns arise with the emergence of AI?

    Podcast Summary

    • Learning from Others: a Path to Personal GrowthOpen-mindedness and learning from those we disagree with can lead to personal growth and valuable insights, even if we don't agree with or like them.

      Learning from those we disagree with or even find offensive can lead to valuable insights and personal growth. Kevin Kelly shares that he wrote down bits of advice for himself as a way to create habits and remind himself of important principles. He then decided to share these insights with his adult children in the form of pithy wisdom. The advice he offers is not about precision, but about practicality and moving in the right direction. He emphasizes the importance of learning from others, even if we don't agree with them, as they can still hold truths that resonate with us. This requires being open-minded, listening to different perspectives, and respecting others even if we don't like or agree with them. Ultimately, the practical benefit of doing so is personal growth and gaining valuable insights.

    • Embrace Unpredictability and Autonomy to Protect Yourself from AIBeing unpredictable and independent in your thoughts and actions can help you stand out and maintain relevance in the face of advancing technology.

      Being unpredictable and independent in your thoughts and actions can protect you from being imitated or replaced by AI. Kevin Kelly advises that if your views on various topics can be easily predicted from one another, it suggests a lack of complexity and genuine thinking. Instead, aim to have a unique style and be the only one in your category, making it difficult for AI to mimic you. Shane Parrish acknowledges that AI will provide conventional thinking for free, making independent and original thinking even more valuable. The current AI models are essentially collective wisdom, reflecting average opinions, but not necessarily always correct. Therefore, embracing unpredictability and autonomy will help individuals stand out and maintain their relevance in the face of advancing technology.

    • The Power of Deadlines: Enhancing Productivity and CreativityDeadlines drive decision-making, creativity, and productivity. They encourage us to find the balance between optimizing what works and exploring new possibilities, ultimately enabling us to deliver and improve our work.

      Deadlines are crucial for productivity and creativity. Kevin Kelly emphasizes that deadlines push us to make decisions and think creatively, resulting in something different and better. He shares how deadlines have been the driving force behind completing projects and achieving excellence, even if they are not perfect. Shane Parrish raises the question of finding the right balance between settling for good enough and constantly raising the bar. Kevin Kelly suggests allocating two-thirds of our time to optimizing what already works and improving it, and one-third to trying new things. He also mentions that deadlines help us manage our time effectively and focus on doing our best within a given timeframe. Ultimately, deadlines prevent us from endlessly pursuing perfection and enable us to ship our work.

    • Time control, forgiveness, and self-defined successTake control of your time, forgive for your own growth, and define success on your own terms.

      Controlling time and setting deadlines can help us navigate the infinite amount of work and overcome the fear of putting ourselves out there. By doing things on a regular basis and accepting that not everything will be perfect, we gain the freedom to fail and learn from our mistakes. Additionally, forgiveness is a powerful tool for our own healing and personal growth. It may seem counterintuitive, but forgiveness is ultimately a selfish act that brings us inner peace and allows us to move on from hurt. Lastly, comparing ourselves to others and striving to meet their standards of success is unfulfilling. Instead, we should focus on defining our own metrics of success and cultivating our unique path.

    • Defining success in a world of comparisons and constant exposure.Success is subjective and should be defined personally, focusing on continuous learning and contributing to collective growth, rather than comparing ourselves to others.

      Success is subjective and can vary greatly depending on individual perspectives. Kevin Kelly highlights the Amish community as an example of people with a unique measure of success, focused on spending quality time with family and raising children. However, in today's world of social media, individuals often compare themselves to the seemingly perfect lives of others, leading to feelings of inadequacy or dissatisfaction. The exposure to constant displays of exceptional achievements and extraordinary moments can both inspire and discourage. It is essential to recognize that the extraordinary has become ordinary due to the massive influx of information available to us. Ultimately, success should be defined personally, driven by continuous learning, self-realization, and contributing to collective growth.

    • Unleashing the Genius Within: Creating an Inclusive WorldEveryone has a unique genius that can be discovered and expressed through support and equal opportunities. We must listen and understand different perspectives to promote meaningful conversations and focus on building a positive and inclusive world.

      Everyone has a unique genius within them, and it takes time and the support of others to discover and express it. We have a moral obligation to create an environment that allows everyone to unlock their potential by providing equal opportunities and better tools. It is important to listen and understand others' perspectives, even if they seem irrational, in order to have a meaningful conversation and possibly influence their thinking. Trying to eliminate evil can lead to harm, as history has shown that the worst crimes against humanity often occur in the pursuit of eradicating evil. Therefore, it is crucial to approach challenges with caution and focus on building a positive and inclusive world.

    • Self-reflection and kindness: keys to personal growth and successful relationships.Understanding ourselves and being kind to others are essential for personal growth and building successful relationships. Choosing kindness over being right cultivates compassion and gratitude, leading to long-term benefits.

      Understanding ourselves and practicing kindness are crucial aspects of personal growth and building successful relationships. Reflecting on the things that irritate us in others can provide valuable insights into our own core values and behaviors. By recognizing these triggers, we can ensure that our actions align with our true selves. Additionally, choosing kindness over being right not only strengthens our character but also leads to long-term benefits. Kindness is not a sign of weakness but rather a powerful tool that cultivates compassion and gratitude. Taking the long view in life and relationships allows us to overcome temporary setbacks and reap the rewards of compounding over time.

    • The Impact of Long-Term Perspective on Lives and RelationshipsFocusing on personal growth, relationships, and moments of kindness leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life, surpassing the importance of material possessions and achievements.

      Taking a long-term view can have a significant impact on our lives and relationships. Kevin Kelly emphasizes the importance of focusing on the gains and benefits that outweigh setbacks and mistakes. This applies not only to personal relationships but also to civilizations and societies. Additionally, attending funerals and observing what people remember about the departed teaches us that achievements and possessions become less important compared to the kind of person we were and the quality of our character. Shane Parrish adds that when reflecting on our lives, we won't be thinking about superficial measures of success but rather the moments where we made choices to be kind and present for our loved ones. Ultimately, a shift in perspective and priorities can lead to greater fulfillment and happiness.

    • Redefining Humanity: The Intersection of AI, Robotics, and EthicsAs we delve deeper into the realm of AI and robotics, it is crucial to strike a balance between pushing our boundaries and ensuring a respectful relationship with these technologies. We must also be wary of the potential dangers and misuse of AI's immense power.

      Humans are in the midst of a centuries-long journey to understand themselves and push the boundaries of their own capabilities. The emergence of AI and robotics presents an opportunity to explore and redefine what it means to be human. However, this also raises important ethical questions. While we strive to create AI and robots that surpass our limitations and improve upon our flaws, we need to be cautious about the potential for abuse and the danger of treating them as slaves. It is important to establish a healthy and respectful relationship with these technologies to preserve our own humanity. Additionally, we must remain vigilant against the weaponization of AI, as the immense power it possesses can lead to devastating consequences.

    • The Flawed Concept of War and the Role of AIThe concept of war is inherently flawed, with the absurdity of differentiating between humans and robots as killers. While AI has potential in war, it is still in its early stages and bottom-up approaches may only take us partially towards desired goals.

      The concept of war is complex and flawed. Kevin Kelly highlights the absurdity of having rules of war and differentiating between humans and robots as the killers in war. He argues that accepting war as a legitimate process is inherently screwed up. However, the conversation also acknowledges the challenges of achieving global acceptance and adherence to these rules. The conversation further explores the role of AI in war and the potential control humans can exercise over it. It is emphasized that AI is still in its early stages, with much progress to be made in synthesizing different types of cognition. Ultimately, the conversation suggests that bottom-up approaches, like neural networks, may take us far but not all the way towards our desired goals.

    • The Impact of AI on News Consumption and Truth DeterminationAs AI-driven tailored news becomes prevalent, it raises concerns about manipulation and bias. Navigating these challenges requires adapting the scientific method, seeking reliable information, and being aware of emerging AI-related belief systems.

      The rise of AI brings significant challenges to the way we consume and understand news. With tailored news articles based on our preferences and behaviors, there is a fear that the information we receive may be manipulated, misleading, or biased. This poses a fundamental question of how we determine what is true and reliable. The issue of knowing things goes beyond mere disinformation for elections; it delves into the very nature of truth and how we establish consensus. The scientific method, which has been an essential tool for determining knowledge, is also evolving rapidly, incorporating AI and other technologies. Additionally, organized religions are declining worldwide, and new religions related to AI may emerge as people seek empowerment and success. Overall, it is crucial to navigate these changes and strive for a reliable and trustworthy understanding of the world.

    • The Craving for Belonging and PurposeHumans seek fulfillment and meaning in their lives by being part of something greater, and as established religions decline, alternative belief systems, including AI-based religions, may arise.

      Humans have an innate desire to be a part of something greater than themselves. When this desire is not fulfilled, it can lead to various unpredictable behaviors. Religion has historically provided a sense of belonging and purpose to individuals, which stems from the belief that certain gods or religious practices can lead to success and fulfillment. However, as established religions wane, there is a potential for new belief systems to emerge, with AI-based religions being a possibility. China, lacking a strong religious or ideological foundation, presents a fertile ground for the rise of nationalism and potentially alternative belief systems. Ultimately, individuals crave to be a part of a larger narrative or purpose, and finding alignment with such a narrative brings a sense of fulfillment and meaning to one's life.

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    #201 April Dunford: Perfecting Your Product's Positioning

    #201 April Dunford: Perfecting Your Product's Positioning

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    Dunford spent the first 25 years of her career as a startup executive running marketing, product, and sales teams positioning products acquired by companies like IBM and Siebel Systems. Since then, she’s worked with over 200 companies as a consultant, developing a system to better position technology products and companies. She studied Engineering at the University of Waterloo and is most recently the author of Sales Pitch.


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    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    (00:00) Intro

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    #200 Brian Halligan: Scaling Culture from Startup to IPO

    #200 Brian Halligan: Scaling Culture from Startup to IPO

    Brian Halligan, co-founder and former CEO of HubSpot, discusses the journey of leading a company from the startup phase to IPO. Halligan shares his personal and professional experiences, including a snowmobiling accident that altered his life trajectory, the importance of company culture, the nuances of hiring the right people, and the complications involved in running a growing organization.


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    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠⁠⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    #199 Esther Perel: Cultivating Desire (2019)

    #199 Esther Perel: Cultivating Desire (2019)

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    #198 Maya Shankar: The Science of Identity

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    (45:15) On success


    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠

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    #197 Michaeleen Doucleff: TEAM Parenting

    #197 Michaeleen Doucleff: TEAM Parenting

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    In this conversation, Doucleff reveals four parenting principles that will help foster resilience and independence in your kids while protecting and enhancing their emotional well-being. Shane and Doucleff discuss her observations on how different cultures approach parenting and how their practices can help alleviate the burdens we place on ourselves and our children. We also explore the role of technology and its impact on our parenting and our children's development and maturity.
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    (17:20) TEAM Parenting: E

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    (26:12) TEAM Parenting: A

    (36:42) TEAM Parenting: M

    (38:34) "Kids do not need to be entertained"

    (39:12) Technology, parenting, and transmitting values

    (1:02:59) Resources parents can use to educate kids about technology

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    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠

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    #196 Brent Beshore: Business Brilliance and Happiness at Home

    #196 Brent Beshore: Business Brilliance and Happiness at Home

    Succeeding in both life and business is very difficult. The skills needed to scale a company often clash with those required to cultivate a thriving home life. Yet, Brent Beshore seems to have cracked the code—or at least he's actively working on it. In this conversation, he spills his secrets on excelling in both arenas.

    This episode is split into two parts: the first 45 minutes covers life and how to be a better person. Brent opens up about the evolution of his marriage, physical health, and inner life.

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    After beginning his career as an entrepreneur, Brent Beshore founded Permanent Equity in 2007 and leads the firm as CEO. He works with investors and operators to evaluate new investment opportunities.


    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

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    Sponsors:

    Shopify: Making commerce better for everyone. https://www.shopify.com/shane

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge


    (00:00) Intro

    (05:08) Why Brent examined his life

    (09:44) How Brent "fixed" his relationships

    (20:04) How helping hurts

    (32:13) How Brent was subtly controlling relationships

    (40:36) Why Brent stopped drinking (mostly)

    (50:29) How to run a business with love yet competitively

    (01:00:34) Win-win relationships

    (01:05:34) On debt

    (01:19:28) On incentives

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    (01:34:18) What most people miss about hiring

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    (01:51:20) On projections

    (01:55:52) Revisiting investments

    (01:58:44) How "hands-off" is Brent?

    (02:08:34) Where people go wrong in private equity

    (02:14:07) On success

    #195 Morgan Housel: Get Rich, Stay Rich

    #195 Morgan Housel: Get Rich, Stay Rich

    The skills it takes to get rich are drastically different from the skills it takes to stay rich. Few understand this phenomenon more than Morgan Housel. He's identified unique lessons about wealth, happiness, and money by studying the world's richest families and learning what they did to build their wealth and just how quickly they squandered it all.
    In this conversation, Shane and Housel discuss various aspects of risk-taking, wealth accumulation, and financial independence. Morgan explains the importance of understanding personal financial goals and the dangers of social comparison, lets everyone in on his personal financial “mistake” that instantly made him sleep better at night, and why the poorest people in the world disproportionately play the lottery—and why it makes sense that they do. They also touch on the influence of upbringing on financial behaviors, the difference between being rich and wealthy, and the critical role of compounding in financial success. Of course, we can’t have a writer as good as Morgan Housel on the podcast and not ask him about his process, so Housel concludes with insights into storytelling, his writing processes, and the importance of leading by example in teaching financial values to children.
    Morgan Housel is a partner at Collaborative Fund. Previously, he was an analyst at The Motley Fool. He is a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers and was selected by the Columbia Journalism Review for the Best Business Writing anthology. He's the author of two books: The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever.
    Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠ 

    Follow me: ⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠

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    Sponsors

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. ⁠https://protekt.com/knowledge


    (00:00) Intro

    (04:46) Risk and income

    (07:40) On luck and skill

    (10:10) Buffett's secret strategy

    (12:28) The one trait you need to build wealth

    (16:20) Housel's capital allocation strategy

    (16:48) Index funds, explained

    (20:59) Expectations and moving goalposts

    (22:17) Your house: asset or liability?

    (27:39) Money lies we believe

    (32:12) How to avoid status games

    (35:04) Money rules from parents

    (40:15) Rich vs. wealthy

    (41:46) Housel's influential role models

    (42:48) Why are rich people miserable?

    (45:59) How success sows the seeds of average performance

    (49:50) On risk

    (50:59) Making money, spending money, saving money

    (52:50) How the Vanderbilt's squandered their wealth

    (1:04:11) How to manage your expectations

    (01:06:26) How to talk to kids about money

    (01:09:52) The biggest risk to capitalism

    (01:13:56) The magic of compounding

    (01:16:18) How Morgan reads

    (01:22:42) How to tell the best story

    (01:24:42) How Morgan writes

    (01:35:42) Parting wisdom and thoughts on success

    #194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap

    #194 Abigail Shrier: The Parent-Therapy Trap
    Over the last decade, therapy has become the de facto solution to solve all sorts of problems for all sorts of people. Everyone has slowly accepted that therapy is normal and a net benefit to society.

    But instead of helping kids work through difficult circumstances, what if it's just making the problems worse? That's what Abigail Shrier thinks is happening, and in this conversation, she reveals some surprising reasons why.

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    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/ 

    Follow me: https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish

    Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

    Sponsors:

    Shopify: Making commerce better for everyone. https://www.shopify.com/shane

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge

    (00:00) Intro
    (05:44) Inverse: How do we raise mentally unstable kids?
    (08:29) How we got to now
    (11:45) Bad therapy...or just social trends?
    (13:21) Being your kids' friend: good or bad?
    (15:55) The parenting type that raises the BEST kids
    (21:35) Is this all the parents' fault?
    (29:53) Is "Bad Therapy" a world-wide problem?
    (32:57) Talk to your kids' therapist about these things
    (42:09) The importance of facing adversity in childhood
    (47:06) Can we blame grad schools for all of this?
    (49:14) On technology and social media
    (51:03) Schools should "never" have gotten involved in mental health
    (54:43) Did COVID accelerate "bad therapy?"
    (56:07) How to return to normalcy
    (58:21) Why Shane shares negative YouTube comments with his kids
    (01:01:23) Shrier's experience being "cancelled"
    (01:04:13) On prestige media
    (01:07:47) Small steps parents can take to return to normal
    (01:11:02) Dealing with schools saying one thing and parents saying another
    (01:13:32) Why is the silent majority...silent?
    (01:16:32) If this continues, what happens?
    (01:18:19) What makes someone a successful parent?

    #193: Dr. Jim Loehr: Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

    #193: Dr. Jim Loehr: Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

    What if reaching the next level of success wasn't determined by another skill, degree, or course but by something that changed on the inside?

    That's what Dr. Jim Loehr believes, and in this episode, he reveals everything he knows about mental toughness and winning the mind game. Shane and Loehr discuss the radical importance of the stories you tell yourself—including how they can damage your kids—and how to change the negative stories you believe. Loehr also shares the best reflection questions to ask yourself to reveal personal blindspots, the importance of rituals for calming anxiety and performing under pressure, and how the best in the world use their recovery time effectively.

    Dr. Jim Loehr is a world-renowned performance psychologist and author of 16 books. From his more than 30 years of experience and applied research, Dr. Loehr believes the single most important factor in successful achievement, personal fulfillment, and life satisfaction is the strength of one’s character. Dr. Loehr possesses a masters and doctorate in psychology and is a full member of the American Psychological Association.

    Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

    Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

    My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/ 

    Follow me: https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish

    Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

    Sponsor:

    Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge

     

    (00:00) Intro

    (03:20) Parenting and storytelling

    (06:15) How to determine whether or not the stories are limiting or enabling you

    (08:41) What the stories world-class performers tell themselves

    (15:02) How to change the stories you tell yourself

    (23:26) Questions to journal about

    (26:16) Private voices vs. public voices (and how they impact your kids)

    (31:32) How to help your friends change their stories

    (37:30) How to better come alongside your kids to prevent destructive behavior

    (44:48) - (45:06) What Loehr knows about high performers that others miss

    (53:12) On time and energy

    (01:06:26) Conquering the "between point" ritual

    (01:11:50) On rituals vs. habits

    (01:15:54) How to increase your mental toughness

    (01:23:51) On success

     

     

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