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    176. How to Find Good Love After Bad with Lily Collins

    enFebruary 07, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Revolutionizing comfort and style in bras and gentle care for babies3rd Love innovates with half cup sizes and virtual fitting room for perfect bra fit, while Pampers offers Swaddlers diapers and plant-based wipes for baby skin health and leak-proof protection

      Both 3rd Love and Pampers offer innovative solutions to common problems in their respective industries. 3rd Love revolutionized the bra industry with their half cup sizes and virtual fitting room, ensuring a comfortable and stylish fit for everyone. Meanwhile, Pampers provides gentle protective care for babies with their Swaddlers diapers and plant-based wipes, ensuring skin health and leak-proof protection. These companies listen to their customers' needs and respond with thoughtful, effective solutions. Whether it's finding a comfortable bra or keeping a baby's skin healthy, these brands have got you covered. So, if you're having "broblems" with bras or diaper woes, look no further than 3rd Love and Pampers. And, as a special offer, use code "podcast15" for $15 off your order at 3rdlove.com and join the Pampers Club app for exclusive savings and rewards.

    • Understanding Complex Relationships and Their ImpactRecognizing and addressing toxic dynamics and emotional abuse in relationships, regardless of age, is crucial for mental and physical health. Young adults aged 18-24 are at high risk for intimate personal violence. Personal stories can inspire healing.

      Relationships, especially those experienced in our formative years, can be complex and nonlinear. They may involve toxic dynamics and emotional abuse, which can have profound impacts on our mental and physical health. These experiences can shape our understanding of relationships and ourselves, often setting the foundation for future relationships. It's crucial to recognize and address these issues, regardless of age. The journey from an unhealthy relationship to a healthy one is not a straightforward path, but accepting its nonlinear nature can be freeing. Additionally, young people, particularly those aged 18 to 24, are at high risk for intimate personal violence. It's essential to bring this conversation to younger generations and challenge the stigma surrounding relationship issues in adolescence. Personal experiences, like those shared by Glennon Doyle, can provide valuable insights and inspire healing.

    • Discussing emotions and experiences in peer groups during adolescenceOpen discussions in peer groups can normalize emotions and experiences, provide accountability and support, and help individuals gain perspective and make healthier choices during adolescence.

      Open discussions in a peer group during adolescence can help normalize emotions and experiences, making high school years more manageable and reducing the stigma surrounding certain feelings. These groups can also serve as a source of accountability and support in identifying and escaping unhealthy relationships or situations. Isolation can amplify the negative effects of toxic relationships, making it crucial to share experiences with others. By fostering open communication and reminding each other of what's normal, these groups can help individuals gain perspective and make healthier choices. Additionally, having a supportive network, such as a partner or close friends, can provide valuable insight and encourage individuals to challenge unhealthy situations.

    • Understanding Past Experiences and Learning New LanguagesRecognize past experiences' impact on emotional wellbeing, talk about difficult feelings, and learn new languages to broaden horizons and build resilience

      Past experiences, especially toxic relationships, can leave lasting impacts on our emotional wellbeing and cause anxiety or panic reactions that can be triggered even in seemingly unrelated situations. These reactions can be compared to the instinctual response of prey to make themselves small and invisible to avoid danger. It's important to recognize these feelings and talk about them, even when words are hard to come by. Learning new languages can be a challenging but rewarding way to broaden our horizons and make the most of our experiences abroad. The use of language learning programs like Rosetta Stone can make the process more efficient and effective. Overall, understanding and addressing our past experiences and taking steps to learn and grow can help us navigate the present and future with greater resilience and confidence.

    • Communicating effectively during emotional triggersHaving a trusted partner who can call out emotions in a loving and supportive way helps individuals articulate feelings, address root causes, and improve communication in relationships.

      Effective communication and emotional support are crucial when dealing with feelings of being triggered. The speaker shares her personal experience of freezing up or "hibernating" when triggered, due to fear of judgment and abandonment. She emphasizes the importance of having a trusted partner, like Charlie, who can call out her emotions in a loving and supportive way. This can help the speaker articulate her feelings and address the root cause, leading to healthier communication and stronger relationships. The speaker also acknowledges the discomfort that comes with being called out, but emphasizes that it's a necessary step towards growth and understanding. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of creating a safe and supportive environment where individuals can express their emotions and be heard.

    • Sharing thoughts and feelings with trusted friends or loved onesOpen communication with trusted individuals can provide a safe space for processing emotions, prevent spiraling, and lead to healthier relationships.

      Open and non-judgmental communication with trusted friends or loved ones can provide a safe space for processing emotions and gaining clarity during difficult moments. This can help prevent spiraling and bring about a better understanding of oneself and relationships. It's important to remember that these conversations are not about blame or personal attacks, but rather an opportunity for growth and connection. Additionally, recognizing the vulnerability and potential triggers in these situations and addressing them with compassion can lead to healthier and more authentic relationships. Overall, the value of friendship lies in the ability to share our thoughts and feelings, even when they are unfinished or uncertain.

    • Loss of self-identity in toxic relationshipsLeaving a toxic relationship can be challenging as it may lead to a loss of self-identity due to reliance on the partner for validation and fear of being alone, but seeking help and trusting instincts are essential for self-discovery and growth.

      Being in a toxic relationship for an extended period can lead to a loss of self-identity and a sense of crisis when trying to rediscover oneself after leaving the relationship. This is due to the conditioning to rely solely on the toxic partner for validation and answers, making it difficult to trust one's own judgments and desires. Additionally, the fear of being alone and the self-doubt instilled during the relationship can hinder the process of self-discovery and growth. It's important to recognize that seeking help and support from friends and family, as well as trusting one's own instincts, are crucial steps in rebuilding a strong sense of self.

    • Overcoming toxic relationships and personal growthRecognizing past toxic experiences, trusting instincts, saving evidence, sharing stories, and seeking support can lead to personal growth and empowerment.

      Recognizing and addressing past experiences, especially those involving toxic relationships, is crucial for personal growth and empowerment. The speaker in this discussion learned to trust her instincts, save evidence of her experiences, and eventually share her story with others to find validation and encouragement. Through this process, she gained the confidence to use her voice, let go of past fears, and strive for positive change, even in the face of adversity. The speaker's journey demonstrates the transformative power of self-reflection, determination, and the support of others.

    • Unexpected connections can lead to personal growth and deep relationshipsMeeting new people with shared experiences can lead to profound connections and personal growth, even if the connection isn't immediately apparent.

      Unexpected connections and encounters can lead to significant personal growth and relationships. The story of the speaker's meeting with Charlie serves as an example. Despite not initially recognizing the connection, they found themselves deeply connected through shared experiences and backgrounds. This easy and wonderful conversation led the speaker to realize that they had met on May 30th, which was the same date the psychic had predicted they would meet their person. This encounter ultimately resulted in a meaningful and lasting relationship. The stories of the Goldman Prize winners also highlight the importance of standing up for causes and making a difference, no matter the challenges faced.

    • Learning to trust in relationshipsIt takes time and consistent positive experiences to rebuild trust and learn to believe in the authenticity of kind words and gestures.

      Relationships can offer both safety and freedom, allowing individuals to grow and expand while feeling secure. However, past experiences of mismatched words and intentions can make it difficult to trust and believe in the authenticity of kind words or gestures. It takes time and consistent positive experiences to reprogram the brain and learn to trust the intentions behind them. Conflict in healthy relationships often comes from within, as individuals learn to be accountable for their actions and face their own self-criticism. Overcoming past traumas and learning to trust the good intentions of others is a challenging but necessary process for building and maintaining healthy relationships.

    • Understanding the origins of anxiety can prevent unnecessary conflictsRecognizing the root causes of anxiety and seeking help from a trusted therapist can prevent inner and outer conflicts, promoting personal growth and emotional well-being.

      Anxiety can manifest in various ways, often leading to inner conflicts and misprojected conflicts with others. These conflicts may stem from deep-rooted feelings and experiences that have not been properly addressed or vocalized. Understanding the origins of these feelings can help individuals recognize and manage their anxiety, preventing unnecessary conflicts. Anxiety can be a long-term issue, developing from childhood experiences, and recognizing it is crucial for personal growth. Finding the right person to share deep thoughts and feelings with, such as a therapist, is essential for addressing and managing anxiety effectively. Alma, an organization that helps individuals find the right therapist, emphasizes the importance of finding a good fit for therapy sessions, ensuring comfort, security, and the acceptance of insurance for financial considerations.

    • Navigating complex experiences with food, body image, and safetyRecognize that eating disorders are not just about body image, prioritize overall health and wellness, and surround yourself with supportive people for a fulfilling life.

      Women's experiences with food, body image, and safety can be complex and deeply rooted in a desire to feel secure. Eating disorders are not just about body image, but about trying to navigate a world where women are expected to be small and shine at the same time. Anxiety and the need to feel in control can also manifest in disordered eating patterns. It's important to recognize that these issues are not linear and can resurface at different stages of life. Focusing on overall health and wellness, and surrounding oneself with supportive people, can help in the journey towards recovery and self-love. The process is not always perfect, but the goal is to prioritize a fulfilling life over the anxiety and shame that can fuel disordered eating.

    • Surrounding Yourself with EncouragementEmbrace personal growth and self-discovery with the support of professionals and loved ones. Everyone's journey is unique, so appreciate and embrace your own path.

      Personal growth and self-discovery are nonlinear experiences, and having the right support system can help individuals and their relationships feel bigger and more fulfilling. The speaker emphasized the importance of surrounding oneself with professionals and loved ones who encourage growth and thinking differently. They also shared that everyone, including celebrities, are on their unique journeys, and it's essential to appreciate and embrace one's own path. Inexperienced help and support in the past prevented the speaker from reaching their full potential, but now they're ready to focus on deeper growth and self-discovery with newfound encouragement. Additionally, the speaker shared their appreciation for the podcast and the hosts, expressing gratitude for the conversations and their impact on their life.

    • Embrace challenges and keep pushing forwardLife's difficulties are part of the journey, believe in yourself, and trust that you can overcome challenges to be truly loved and accepted

      Going through difficult times and experiencing pain is a part of life. It's important to remember that we are not the problem and that it's okay to hit rock bottom sometimes. The best people are those who are free to feel and express their emotions, and it may take time, but eventually, we will be fine. We are all adventurers on this journey of life, and heartbreaks and challenges are part of the adventure. To be truly loved, we need to be known and accepted for who we are. And most importantly, we need to believe in ourselves and have faith that we can do hard things. The podcast "We Can Do Hard Things" produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios, encourages listeners to embrace the challenges in their lives and keep pushing forward. So, rate, review, and follow the show to continue the journey of self-discovery and growth.

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    Related Episodes

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     Want to join this year's NLV Conference? Register here!

     

    Community is the life blood of our growth and success as human beings, even in the very beginning of humanity’s first steps across the globe we were hyper social creatures who relied on one another to survive, whether that be to have enough food or blankets for the cold months or maybe even knowing you could go to your local carpenter to ask for a new chair. We have always relied on one another to build ourselves and each other up, and without that fundamental part of our humanity we wouldn’t be where we are today and we will only stagnate and mold if we distance ourselves from it.

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    Highlights

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    “Creating, where we can, where we can find the opportunity to create micro-communities within a piece of real estate whether it’s a one multi family building or multiple adjacent. It’s something we think is very special and very important, and also hyper local which is a big part of Ypsilanti and how we hope to continue to work for and with Ypsilanti.”

     

    Dear Listeners it is now your turn,

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    And, as always, thank you for listening. 

     

    About Jake (From Yarrow)

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    Be sure to check out Yarrow! As well as Jake’s LinkedIn

     

    Please check out the nonprofit mentioned by Jake and if you can make a donation within your means please do so; Mobile Studio Inc!

     

    Overdose Prevention Model from the FDA



    About Sarah

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    In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.

    My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.

    The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!

    Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.

    Be sure to check out the Storytelling For Professionals Course as well to make sure you nail that next interview!



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    During the episode, Sara was able to show us how boundary setting, intuition, and self-care practices can help us cultivate happier and healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

     

    Connect with Sara:

     

    Books Mentioned:

     

    And of course, if you would like to connect with us:

    Jess:

     

    Kristen:

    250: Satisfying Relationships Are A Choice

    250: Satisfying Relationships Are A Choice

    250 Satisfying Relationships Are A Choice


    Sometimes what we want in life are things that may not be the best fit for us, be it a new leadership position and you’re either too bossy or too shy to effectively get the job done, or maybe it’s just a car that doesn’t run as well as we hoped it would. Regardless it is important to be able to keep our companions close in these times due to the valuable insight our inner circle can give us. 

     

    In this episode Sarah Elkins reflects on the importance of having people in your life who are willing to point out the mistakes you make with compassion, and why it is so necessary to be willing to change for the betterment of the relationships that are held dear. 


    Highlights

    • Being willing to change and being able to flow with change.
    • Choice and Consequences will define how you want to grow.
    • Find people who will call you out when you make a mistake.

    Quotes

    “If you want to be a leader people have to trust you, they have to know you’ll help them without judging them for needing help.”

    “As a leader you have to create an environment where people will see the positive impact of being there.”


    About Sarah Elkins

    "Uncovering the right stories for the right audiences so executives, leaders, public speakers, and job seekers can clearly and actively demonstrate their character, values, and vision."

    In my work with coaching clients, I guide people to improve their communication using storytelling as the foundation of our work together. What I’ve realized over years of coaching and podcasting is that the majority of people don’t realize the impact of the stories they share - on their internal messages, and on the people they’re sharing them with.

    My work with leaders and people who aspire to be leaders follows a similar path to the interviews on my podcast, uncovering pivotal moments in their lives and learning how to share them to connect more authentically with others, to make their presentations and speaking more engaging, to reveal patterns that have kept them stuck or moved them forward, and to improve their relationships at work and at home.

    The audiobook, Your Stories Don’t Define You, How You Tell Them Will is now available!

    Included with your purchase are two bonus tracks, songs recorded by Sarah's band, Spare Change, in her living room in Montana.

     

    Interested in No Longer Virtual? Check out the details and register at elkinsconsulting.com/nlv-home

     

    Show Notes by Chinook Bromlie