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    178: Michelle Tillis Lederman | Why Relationships Are Our Greatest Assets

    en-usMarch 28, 2019

    Podcast Summary

    • Creating a welcoming Airbnb and the value of connectionsTurning your home into an Airbnb not only earns income but also creates meaningful connections. Becoming a connector, who brings others together, strengthens relationships and fosters personal and professional growth.

      Turning your home into an Airbnb not only brings in extra income but also allows you to share a piece of your world with others. The hosts in this episode, inspired by their travels, created a welcoming and cherished experience for their guests by adding personal touches. This concept of sharing and connection extends beyond homes and applies to relationships as well. In the episode, Michelle Tillis Larimore discusses the idea of connectors, people who excel at bringing others together. She outlines practical ways to become a connector, regardless of introversion or extroversion. The common thread is the value of strong relationships and the potential they hold for personal and professional growth. By embracing the connector mindset, we can expand our networks, foster deeper connections, and create opportunities for mutual growth and success.

    • Being social and curious in networkingAsking questions and showing genuine interest builds connections and shows care in networking, making people feel valued and appreciated.

      Effective networking involves adopting different mindsets beyond just being friendly or socially active. Being "social and curious" is crucial, as it means actively engaging with others by asking questions and showing genuine interest. People often misunderstand this as being nosy or intrusive, especially introverts. However, asking questions is a way to build connections and show care. It's essential to remember that most people enjoy sharing about themselves and appreciate when others show interest. To help introverts feel more comfortable, they can focus on asking broad, non-personal questions and seeing it as a way to show care and build rapport. As an interviewer, I've learned to ask seemingly ridiculous questions to test people's reactions and gauge their comfort levels. Ultimately, being social and curious is a powerful tool for building meaningful connections.

    • The power of openness and curiosity in conversationsBeing open-minded and curious in conversations can create a welcoming environment, foster understanding, and lead to deeper connections with individuals from diverse backgrounds.

      Being open and curious can lead to meaningful connections. When we approach conversations with an open mind and show genuine interest, it can create a welcoming environment where people feel comfortable engaging and sharing their experiences. This can be especially effective when interacting with individuals from diverse backgrounds, as it can help break down barriers and foster understanding. The speaker also emphasized the importance of being aware of social cues and inviting others into conversations, making it easier for them to join in and contribute. Overall, the ability to create open and accepting conversations can lead to deeper connections and a more enriching social experience.

    • Leveraging Connections for Personal and Professional GrowthBeing a connector can lead to faster, easier, and better results through strong relationships and a clear vision. By giving and receiving, you create a chain reaction of positivity in your network.

      Being a connector in your personal and professional life can bring faster, easier, and better results, but it's essential to have a clear vision of what you're working on and what you want to accomplish. This clarity allows you to ask effectively for what you need and maintain strong relationships. The advantage of being a connector lies in the long-term focus and the chain reaction of giving and receiving. Even if you haven't directly helped someone, your actions may have positively impacted their network. When you embody the connector mindset, you present yourself as a giver, and people are more likely to respond in kind, creating an exponential effect.

    • Approach requests with a relationship focus, not quid pro quo mentalityBuild relationships before asking for favors or connections to increase positivity and likelihood of a response

      Asking for favors or connections should be approached with a focus on building relationships rather than a quid pro quo mentality. As Michelle Laderman shared in the conversation, asking for something too soon, especially within the first few minutes of meeting someone, can come across as disingenuous and devalue the potential relationship. Instead, it's essential to get to know the person, understand their work, and establish a connection before asking for a favor. This approach not only builds goodwill but also increases the likelihood of a positive response. As Michelle noted, when she asked for an introduction within the first few minutes of meeting Jordan Harbinger, he kept an open mind and ultimately helped her reconnect with a client. This experience reinforces the importance of approaching requests with a relationship-focused mindset rather than a quid pro quo mentality.

    • The power of trust and generosityTrusting others and believing in abundance supports a generous spirit, which enables conscientiousness and setting boundaries.

      Having a generous spirit is not just about giving to others, but also about being generous with yourself and setting boundaries. Trusting others and believing in the abundance of opportunities and resources enables a generous spirit, which in turn supports conscientiousness. The speaker's experience with a friend who showed up to help her years later despite not having directly helped her before, demonstrates the power of trust and generosity. The speaker's annual plan is an example of how setting boundaries and being conscientious can enable generosity, rather than overwhelming oneself with too many commitments.

    • Saying no and setting boundaries for personal growthLearning to say no generously and set boundaries is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships. It's important to communicate effectively and manage expectations, recognizing that saying no can open new opportunities.

      Saying no and setting boundaries are essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships. The ability to say no generously and with consideration can be a challenge, but it's crucial for avoiding overcommitment and ensuring that we prioritize our own needs. By learning to qualify our yeses and nos, we can communicate effectively and manage expectations. Being a connector is not an all-or-nothing trait; it exists on a spectrum. It's important to recognize that we all have the capacity to build relationships and that saying no can open the door to new opportunities. Remember, being generous with ourselves and setting boundaries is not selfish but rather an act of self-care that allows us to be our best selves and make meaningful connections.

    • From Emerging to Responsive ConnectorsRecognize your connector type and strive to grow, from initiating conversations as an emerging connector to being proactive as a responsive connector, to build stronger relationships.

      Everyone falls on a connector spectrum, from non-connector to acting connector, and everyone can improve their ability to build relationships. The speaker shared her personal experience of helping her husband, a natural introvert, evolve from an emerging connector to a responsive connector. Emerging connectors see the value of relationships but may not know how to offer their value or initiate conversations. Responsive connectors are happy to help when asked but lack proactivity. By recognizing where you are on the spectrum and striving to grow, you can enhance your ability to connect with others and reap the benefits of strong relationships.

    • Being a connector goes beyond asking questions and eliciting needsFocus on being responsive, initiating conversations, and adding value to build meaningful connections with a potential 10x return on investment.

      Being a connector in networking is not just about asking questions or eliciting needs to help others. Instead, it's about being responsive, initiating conversations, and adding value to the relationships. This approach can lead to exponential benefits for both parties involved. The ratio of helping others to receiving help may be as high as 10 to 1, or even 50 to 1 in some cases. The real value comes from the feeling of being valuable and helpful, which is not entirely selfless. As you progress in networking, you can become a niche, regional, super connector, or even a global super connector by focusing on a specific industry or region. Ultimately, the goal is to build a network of meaningful connections that can benefit everyone involved.

    • The Power of Being a Connector: Niche vs SuperBeing a connector, whether niche or super, brings value by expanding opportunities and helping others. Building a strong network within a specific industry or job function (niche connector) or across various industries, hierarchies, and geographies (super connector) can lead to personal and professional growth.

      Being a connector, whether it's a niche connector or a super connector, can bring significant value in both personal and professional growth. A niche connector builds a strong network within a specific industry or job function, making them an essential contact for those in the same field. However, becoming a super connector expands the scope by building a diverse and extensive network across various industries, hierarchies, and geographies. This not only increases opportunities for oneself but also for one's network. Moreover, the benefits of being a connector are exponential, and the more depth and breadth of your network, the more advantages you will find. It's not just about what you can get, but also about helping others by connecting them with the right people. The idea is to keep expanding your network and leveraging it to create opportunities for yourself and others.

    • Mindset's Impact on Personal and Professional GrowthAdopting a mindset of abundance, trust, and vulnerability can help transform personal and professional growth by opening opportunities, building relationships, and making a difference.

      Mindset plays a significant role in our personal and professional growth. The speaker shares his journey from being afraid of public speaking and defensive due to his upbringing to becoming a connector in the Broadway industry. He emphasizes that adopting a mindset of abundance, trust, and vulnerability has been crucial in his transformation. Abundance is not about Pollyannaish beliefs but staying open to possibilities and trusting that there is enough. Vulnerability, contrary to popular belief, is not a sign of weakness but an opportunity for credibility and connection. Embracing these mindsets has helped the speaker build relationships and make a difference in people's lives.

    • Recognizing and Overcoming FearAcknowledge fear, avoid self-judgment, and focus on helping others to foster relationships and improve personal growth, leading to better overall health and happiness.

      Controlling your own destiny involves acknowledging fear and avoiding self-judgment in comparison to others. Fear is a natural feeling, and recognizing its existence doesn't make you a bad person. Instead, use it as an opportunity to grow. Additionally, focusing on helping others and fostering relationships, rather than comparing yourself to them, can lead to a more abundant and fulfilling mindset. This not only benefits your personal growth but also leads to better overall health and happiness. Research shows that social connections are vital to our well-being, with social isolation having the same impact on mortality as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. By focusing on building and maintaining relationships, we can improve not only our personal lives but also our health and longevity.

    • The Importance of Building Strong RelationshipsBuilding relationships leads to increased productivity, job happiness, and career advancement. Prioritize relationship-building through efficient networking strategies.

      Building strong relationships, both personally and professionally, is essential for our health, happiness, and productivity. According to the discussion, people with strong work relationships experience a 50% increase in productivity and are more likely to be happy on the job. Furthermore, 85% of jobs come through networking, making relationships a crucial factor in career advancement. Despite the importance of networking, traditional methods like uploading resumes online can be ineffective, and relationships remain the key to getting noticed by recruiters. To make relationship-building a priority despite time constraints, consider strategies like Dory Clark's "Dory Dinners," where you invite multiple contacts to a restaurant on the same night, allowing for efficient connection-making. Overall, investing time and energy into relationships is a worthwhile endeavor that can lead to significant personal and professional growth.

    • Turning everyday activities into opportunities for connectionCurate experiences well, invite others to join everyday activities, and bond over mutual interests for valuable friendships and business relationships

      Making the most of your time and turning everyday activities into opportunities for connection can lead to valuable friendships and business relationships. The speaker shares her experience of making friends at Dory dinners and following up with those she didn't get to talk to. She suggests considering activities you already do, such as working out or walking, and inviting someone to join you. This can be an efficient use of time and can lead to meaningful conversations. The speaker also recommends setting up activities specifically for networking, such as carpooling or lunchtime workouts. She encourages being open to new experiences and bonding over mutual interests, which can lead to strong connections. Ultimately, the key is to curate these experiences well and make them feel natural and enjoyable for all involved.

    • Making intentional connections during mundane activitiesEffectively building relationships through small habits like sending emails during less productive hours or having weekly lunches with colleagues can lead to significant growth and a more fulfilling life

      Making intentional connections, even during seemingly mundane activities like a dog park visit or lunchtime, can lead to valuable professional relationships. Additionally, being mindful of wasted time, such as scrolling through social media or eating at your desk, and dedicating those moments to networking or building relationships can lead to significant growth and impact. Michelle Laderman, author of "The Connector's Advantage," emphasizes the importance of making connections and offers practical tips for doing so efficiently. By implementing small habits, such as sending emails during less productive hours or having a weekly lunch with a colleague, you can effectively build and strengthen relationships. The compound effect of these small actions can lead to meaningful growth and a more fulfilling personal and professional life.

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      Cache Creek Casino Resort in Northern California offers a premier getaway experience with various opportunities for entertainment and relaxation, while Capella University provides unwavering support to help students achieve their academic goals. Cache Creek Casino Resort is an excellent destination for those looking to unwind and indulge, with a 4-star rating and a commitment to providing guests with a memorable experience. Whether you're looking to go all out and try your luck at the casino or take it easy and enjoy the resort's amenities, Cache Creek Casino Resort has something for everyone. On the other hand, Capella University stands out as a supportive academic community that cares about its students' success. From the pre-enrollment process to post-graduation, Capella offers resources and guidance to help students reach their goals. With a focus on flexibility and personalized learning, Capella allows students to imagine their future differently and pursue their dreams on their own terms. In summary, whether you're seeking a fun and exciting getaway or a supportive academic community, Cache Creek Casino Resort and Capella University offer unique and meaningful experiences. So, consider making your escape to Cache Creek Casino Resort for some relaxation and entertainment, or take the first step towards your future at Capella University.

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    • Exploring the ocean can lead to groundbreaking discoveries in medicine, Earth's history, and climate, providing valuable insights for addressing humanity's challenges — provided we safeguard this treasury of knowledge for current and future generations.
    • And much more...

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/984

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

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