Podcast Summary
Discussing Fatherhood, Rules, and Relationships: Fatherhood involves setting principles and rules, adapting them over time, and being present and engaged in children's lives.
Being a father involves setting principles and rules for your children to help them grow into well-adjusted adults. Walker Lamond, a returning podcast guest, shared his experience of doing just that in his book "Rules for My Unborn Son." He discussed how his family has changed since then, including the addition of a daughter and moving overseas. Despite the chaos of raising a family, Lamond keeps his book as a reminder of his good intentions and revises his rules as needed. In his latest book, "Rules from a Newborn Daughter," he shares the rules he wants to pass on to his daughter. During the podcast, they also discussed the importance of father-daughter relationships, the difference between fathering a daughter and a son, and various pieces of relationship advice. One interesting topic was the idea of not drinking champagne at baseball cards, which is apparently an apostasy to baseball fans. Overall, the conversation highlighted the importance of being a present and engaged parent, setting guidelines, and adapting to the unique challenges and joys of raising children.
Instilling Values and Skills as a Father: Father emphasizes the importance of giving children specific skills and opportunities to learn, fostering self-confidence, embracing challenges, and raising well-rounded individuals, regardless of gender.
Being a father, whether to a son or a daughter, involves instilling important values and skills to help them grow into confident, independent, and happy individuals. The father in this discussion shares his experiences of sticking to certain rules for his son and the importance of having ideals, even when faced with challenges or controversies. He emphasizes that the goal is not just to tell children they are great, but to give them specific skills and opportunities to learn, fostering self-confidence. The father also acknowledges the importance of embracing challenges and acquiring skills, regardless of how easily they can be outsourced in today's world. Ultimately, the goal is to raise children who are confident, interesting, and well-rounded individuals, regardless of their gender.
Encouraging children to explore life's richness: Encourage kids to try new things, travel, cook, read, build, and grow, regardless of gender. Foster self-improvement and diverse skill sets.
While raising children, whether sons or daughters, the goal should be to encourage them to explore a rich and varied life, rather than following the path of least resistance. The speaker expresses a desire for his daughter to engage in experiences such as traveling, cooking, reading, and building, not out of necessity but for personal growth. He acknowledges that having a daughter amplifies the realization that each child is their own unique person, and that parenting involves projecting one's own need for self-improvement on them. The speaker also reflects on the need for gender-neutral advice and the importance of recognizing and embracing the differences between boys and girls while avoiding perpetuating a gender divide. Ultimately, the speaker emphasizes that the skills and experiences taught to children should not be gendered, and that all children should learn a diverse range of skills.
Adapting to Each Child's Unique Needs: Parents should tailor their parenting approach to each child's individual interests and needs, not based on gender.
While boys and girls may have some similarities, they are unique individuals with distinct interests and needs. Parents should adapt to each child accordingly, not based on their gender. Additionally, parents, particularly fathers, can provide valuable advice and institutional knowledge to their daughters, but it's essential to have a support system, such as a spouse or partner, to ensure the advice given is appropriate and well-rounded. Ultimately, fathers have a duty to share their wisdom with their daughters, but it's crucial to approach it with sensitivity and consideration.
A father's advice for his daughter: A father's advice, though rooted in historical power dynamics, can be valuable for his daughter, imparting skills and knowledge for independent and assertive living.
Despite the historical power dynamics and traditional gender roles, a father's advice, given with the best intentions, can be valuable for his daughter. The father in question acknowledges the potential for his own biases and historical baggage, but ultimately wants to empower his daughter with skills and knowledge to navigate the world independently and assertively. The vintage aesthetic of the book, with its focus on being a "classy broad," may be perceived as problematic by some, but the rules and skills it imparts can be applied to both boys and girls. The father emphasizes that the book is not meant to maintain male privilege or power structures, but rather to help his daughter thrive in the world. Overall, the father's advice is meant to be harmless, practical, and empowering.
Empowering choices: Cooking, setting a table, etiquette: Teach old-fashioned skills to children of all genders for personal growth and celebrating differences
There are no gender-specific skills. Old-fashioned skills, such as cooking, setting a table, or even etiquette, should be seen as empowering choices rather than limiting expectations. These skills give individuals the power to make their own decisions and celebrate differences between men and women. While some traditions may carry baggage from the past, they can also represent symbols of kindness, generosity, and good manners. As a father, it's essential to teach these skills to both sons and daughters, as they can apply to various aspects of life, regardless of sexuality or gender identity. The relationship advice in the book, coming from a male perspective, should encourage open communication and mutual respect between genders, rather than setting rigid rules or expectations.
Advice for Dads: Let Daughters Make Their Own Decisions: Be cautious of overprotectiveness and interference in daughters' love lives. Encourage confidence, intelligence, and self-sufficiency instead.
While it's natural for parents, especially fathers, to want to protect their daughters, it's important to give them the tools and trust them to make their own decisions. Overprotectiveness and interference in their love life can be counterproductive and even damaging. One specific piece of advice given was to be cautious of men who cry easily, as it may be a tactic rather than a genuine display of emotion. However, it's important to remember that many relationship rules are meant to be taken with a grain of salt and not taken too seriously. Ultimately, the goal is to prepare our daughters to be confident, intelligent, and self-sufficient women who can navigate relationships on their own.
Apologizing for Others' Behavior and Finding Authenticity: Recognize when to let go, avoid filling lives with empty activities, and engage genuinely in conversations
We often make excuses or apologize for others' behavior, but it's important to recognize when it's necessary to let go and take care of ourselves. Another key point is the importance of authenticity and not feeling the need to constantly pitch ourselves or hide our interests. Homing in on some favorite quotes from the book, apologizing for others' bad behavior can be a burden and a common issue in relationships, particularly for women. The song "Ladies Who Lunch" serves as a reminder that being busy doesn't necessarily equate to fulfillment, and it's important to avoid filling our lives with empty activities to mask deeper emotions. Lastly, keeping personal choices to ourselves, such as not owning a TV, can be a source of pride and authenticity, rather than a reason for self-deprecation. Remember, conversations and social situations are not interviews, and it's essential to engage genuinely and authentically with others.
Avoid boasting and find common ground: Focus on authenticity, respect for others, and appreciation for simple pleasures in life. Avoid boasting, find common ground, and enjoy experiences as intended.
It's important to avoid boasting and humble bragging during conversations, as it can make for dull interactions. Instead, focus on finding common ground and enjoying the simplicity of experiences within their intended environments. For instance, at a ballpark, stick to the traditional food offerings and avoid bringing unnecessary comforts. Similarly, in conversation, use phrases like "it's your welcome" instead of "no problem" to make the other person feel more comfortable and valued. Lastly, remember that labels and gender stereotypes don't apply to activities or hobbies, like skateboarding. In essence, strive for authenticity, respect for others, and an appreciation for the simple pleasures in life.
Gender Barriers and Stereotypes in Marketing: Marketing perpetuates harmful gender distinctions, limiting both children and adults. Recognize and challenge these norms, and provide role models that transcend gender boundaries.
Gender barriers and stereotypes in marketing are a relatively new phenomenon, and they can be harmful and limiting for both children and adults. The speaker expresses frustration with the proliferation of gendered marketing, from pink Legos and skateboards to women's cars and TV shows, and argues that these distinctions are not only unnecessary but also insulting. The speaker also acknowledges that they themselves may have contributed to this trend by focusing on traditional masculinity in their own work. The speaker emphasizes the importance of recognizing and challenging these gender norms, and of providing role models for children that transcend gender boundaries. The speaker also shares their personal experience of seeking out women role models for their daughter from history, recognizing the lack of representation of women in general.
Women Defying Expectations: Trailblazing Role Models: Trailblazing women throughout history, like Sally Ride, Mia Hamm, Margaret Thatcher, Nora Ephron, Carol Burnett, Elaine Stritch, and Big Mama Thornton, challenged gender norms and broke barriers in male-dominated fields, inspiring future generations with their talents, passions, and commitments.
Women have been underrepresented in history and media, resulting in fewer female role models being recognized and celebrated. This is due in part to societal norms and gender biases that kept women out of the public eye and away from opportunities to make headlines. However, there have been trailblazing women throughout history who defied expectations and broke barriers in male-dominated fields, such as Sally Ride in space exploration, Mia Hamm in sports, and Margaret Thatcher in politics. These women, along with others like Nora Ephron, Carol Burnett, Elaine Stritch, and Big Mama Thornton, are important role models for girls and boys alike, not just because they challenged gender norms, but because of their talents, passions, and commitments. It's essential to recognize and celebrate these women's achievements and share their stories with future generations. Some recommended reading and music suggestions for exploring the lives and works of these inspiring women include works by and about Sally Ride, Mia Hamm, Margaret Thatcher, Nora Ephron, Carol Burnett, Elaine Stritch, and Big Mama Thornton.
Creating a playlist of influential female artists for daughters: Empower young girls by sharing a playlist of influential female artists from various music genres, challenging gender stereotypes in the music industry.
Creating a playlist of influential female artists from various music genres is not only a personal way for a father to share his taste in music with his daughter but also an important reminder for young girls that they too can excel in music industries often dominated by men. The father, Walker Lamont, discussed how he was inspired to create a list of female artists, ranging from Bobby Gentry and Dolly Parton to Chrissy Hynde and Joan Jett, that he grew up listening to, many of whom he didn't even realize were women until now. He emphasized that this list is not about reinstating an outdated power structure but rather about empowering young girls and encouraging them to challenge gender stereotypes in the music industry. Lamont's book, "Rules for My Newborn Daughter," which includes this playlist, will be available for purchase next week on Amazon. Pre-orders are encouraged to boost first-week sales.
Insights on raising a strong daughter: Honesty, kindness, and curiosity are key to raising a daughter with strong character and resilience.
" Walker shared valuable insights on raising a daughter with strong character and resilience, emphasizing the importance of honesty, kindness, and curiosity. Brett expressed his appreciation for the conversation and encouraged listeners to check out Walker's work and the show notes for more information. The episode concluded with a reminder for listeners to support the podcast with a review on iTunes or Stitcher and to visit The Art of Manliness website for more manliness tips and advice. Overall, this episode highlights the importance of being a dedicated father, continuous learner, and a man of strong character.
