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    206: How to Disappear from an Unstoppable Stalker | Feedback Friday

    en-usMay 31, 2019

    Podcast Summary

    • Creating an Airbnb-style spare bedroom and sharing your home with guestsTransforming your home into an Airbnb brings extra income and allows you to share your world with others. Make your guests feel welcome by adding personal touches and optimizing your home as an adventure hub.

      Turning your home into an Airbnb not only brings in extra income but also allows you to share a piece of your world with others. Jen and the host shared their experience of designing their home with an Airbnb-style spare bedroom and adding personal touches to make guests feel welcome. They emphasized the importance of making the most of your home and turning it into an adventure hub rather than letting it gather dust. Professor Scott Galloway's episode on optimizing for happiness provided practical, non-woo woo advice, including the importance of working hard in your twenties and thirties for economic success. The episode was filled with valuable insights and real-life experiences that resonated with the hosts.

    • Focus on goals and hard work, dealing with work turning sour, and privacy protectionStay focused on your goals and work hard, evaluate if quitting or moving forward is best when work becomes unpleasant, and protect personal information online to avoid stalking situations.

      While some people may boast about working from the beach and having minimal work hours, most people are not in that category. Instead, focus on your goals and keep working hard. Another common issue discussed was dealing with something you love turning into a job you dislike or even hate. In such cases, it's essential to evaluate the situation and consider if quitting or moving forward is the best option. The podcast also touched upon turning embarrassing experiences into growth opportunities. A listener reached out with a stalking problem and was seeking advice. The situation was alarming, and the podcast suggested reporting the issue to the authorities and taking steps to protect personal information online. The episode served as a reminder to be cautious about sharing personal details and to take measures to protect privacy. The podcast aims to provide insights and experiences to listeners, and the Friday episodes are dedicated to answering listener questions.

    • Document all evidence and seek helpDocument all threatening communications, involve authorities and a lawyer, avoid contact, and file a police report as soon as possible.

      If you're being stalked or receiving threatening messages, it's crucial to document all evidence and seek help from authorities and a lawyer. The tone of these messages can be needy, aggressive, and potentially dangerous, and it's essential to treat the situation seriously. Communication with the stalker should be avoided entirely, and it's important to involve friends and family only as necessary. Navarro and de Becker, experts in the field, recommend complete silence as the best course of action. Additionally, it's essential to document all communications and interactions with the stalker, and to file a police report as soon as possible. Remember, it's important to act as if the stalker is a stranger to minimize any potential emotional bias.

    • Navigating a relationship with an alcoholic partnerFocus on seeking help for yourself through therapy or support groups, rather than trying to manage or control your partner's addiction. Remember, you cannot force someone to change.

      The situation described in the text involves an alcoholic partner who is in denial of her addiction and goes through periods of sobriety followed by binges. The speaker is deeply connected to her but feels torn and unsure of how to handle the situation. However, the key issue is that the alcoholic partner may not genuinely want to change her behavior. The speaker's focus should be on seeking help for himself through therapy or support groups like Al-Anon, rather than trying to manage or control the situation. Ultimately, the speaker cannot force the partner to change, and the situation may be messy regardless of the outcome. It's important for the speaker to prioritize his own well-being and seek support for himself.

    • Focusing on personal growth in relationshipsIndividuals cannot manage or control another's sobriety or growth. Prioritize personal well-being and seek professional help if needed.

      Individuals in relationships cannot control or manage another person's sobriety or personal growth. If someone is struggling with addiction, they must want to get sober and seek professional help. The speaker emphasizes that it's essential for each partner to focus on their personal growth and well-being, rather than trying to manage the other person's issues. The speaker also shares a personal story about a relationship where the fear of commitment led to an ultimatum and eventual breakup. The individual realized that they needed to work on themselves and remind themselves daily of their love and commitment to their partner. Overall, the key takeaway is that individuals must prioritize their personal growth and well-being in relationships and cannot manage or control another person's issues.

    • Don't rush into marriage if you're not readyIt's important to be honest with yourself and your partner about your readiness for marriage, and to make a decision based on what's best for both in the long run.

      If you're not genuinely ready to get married, you shouldn't rush into it. The speaker shares his personal experience that men often feel ready to settle down suddenly, but it's not always about finding the right person. Instead, it's about growing tired of the other aspects of life and being ready for a change. If you're feeling unsure or unable to commit fully, it's important to respect your own feelings and not rush into a marriage that might not be right for you. It's okay to take your time and focus on self-improvement. Additionally, if timing is an issue, it may be best to part ways and look for a partner whose timing aligns with yours. Ultimately, it's essential to be honest with yourself and your partner about where you both stand, and to make a decision based on what's best for both of you in the long run.

    • Perceiving Partner's Checking of Other WomenInsecurity, not approval seeking, may drive a partner to look at other women. Secure relationships don't involve such behavior. Focus on personal growth instead.

      Checking out other women in a relationship doesn't necessarily equate to approval seeking, but it could indicate insecurity on the part of the other person. If a partner feels secure, they typically don't worry about their significant other looking at other women. However, if a partner feels insecure, they may perceive such behavior as a sign of infidelity or lack of commitment. In this situation, both partners would be better off focusing on personal growth and letting go of the relationship for now. The speakers also discussed the logistics of recording remote interviews for their podcast, revealing that they record each side of a Skype conversation and edit the recordings together using specific software.

    • Effective communication and collaboration in podcast productionTools like Slack and Google Docs help keep remote teams on the same page. Delegating tasks based on strengths and initiatives leads to efficient workflows. Personal growth and learning new skills can help individuals regain confidence after a tough breakup.

      Producing a successful podcast requires effective communication and collaboration among team members, even when working remotely. The use of tools like Slack and Google Docs helps keep everyone on the same page, while delegating tasks to team members based on their strengths and initiatives leads to efficient and productive workflows. For example, Jen, who manages scheduling, guest coordination, and technical aspects of live shows, effectively functions as the COO of the podcast operation. Additionally, when it comes to recovering from a tough breakup, focusing on personal growth and learning new skills can be a powerful tool for regaining confidence and moving forward. By investing time and energy into developing new abilities, individuals can gain a sense of control over their future and build self-assurance. As the podcast guest shared, this approach helped them navigate past breakups and emerge stronger and more capable.

    • Focus on personal growth during a breakupInstead of seeking a new partner or dwelling on negative emotions, focus on acquiring new skills, working on yourself, and challenging cognitive biases for healing and confidence. Create a separate business bank account and LLC, use social media strategically, and don't let rejection discourage you.

      During a breakup, instead of trying to find a new partner who looks like your ex or dwelling on negative emotions, focus on acquiring new skills and working on yourself. This can help you heal, increase your confidence, and meet new people. It's also important to recognize and challenge any delusions or cognitive biases that may be clouding your judgment. Additionally, creating a separate business bank account and LLC may be beneficial for product-based business owners, and while social media can be time-consuming, it can also be an effective marketing tool if used strategically. Lastly, don't be discouraged by rejection and keep reaching out to potential partners or resources to help bring your product to market.

    • Focus on sales before marketingStart with selling skills, prioritize sales over marketing, and prove product value before establishing a formal business structure

      When starting a business, focus on sales rather than marketing. Don't worry about legal entities, logos, or websites until the product is ready and you have proven sales. Selling skills are crucial and developing them should be a priority. Regarding text conversations for networking, there's no need for a formal end. Letting things go naturally or using forward projection is sufficient. Consistency in reaching out is more important than having formal interactions. Don't overthink text conversations and remember that most people prefer to keep network ties without meetings or calls.

    • Investing in a coach can save time and moneyCoaches help avoid mistakes, establish good habits, and provide expert guidance in niche areas, ultimately saving time and money in the long run.

      Investing in a coach can save time and money in the long run, especially for learning new skills or improving in specific areas. Coaches are beneficial for beginners as they help avoid common mistakes and establish good habits. They can also be valuable for advanced learners seeking expert guidance in niche areas. While finding a good coach may take some effort and cost, the potential benefits can outweigh the initial investment. As the saying goes, "those who can, do. Those who can't, teach." But those who can teach and guide, help others to do and succeed.

    • Personalized learning and coaching can boost skill developmentCoaching can help avoid bad habits and accelerate progress, even if it comes with a higher cost. Try new skills with small investments and consider Python for language learning.

      Personalized learning and coaching can significantly enhance the effectiveness of skill development, even if it comes with a higher cost. The speaker shared her experiences of learning Korean and audiobook narration, highlighting how she regretted not trying these things out before investing in coaching. She emphasized that while self-study can be a good starting point, coaching can help avoid learning bad habits and accelerate progress. Additionally, she suggested trying out new skills with small investments, such as taking a free trial class on Skillshare or sending a "just because" gift to someone in need. Regarding language learning, she advised choosing Python over Java due to its widespread usage. Lastly, she encouraged budgeting a small amount each month for unexpected gifts or learning opportunities.

    • Acts of kindness can create meaningful connectionsActs of kindness, like lending a helping hand or sending a gift, can brighten someone's day and build strong relationships. Prioritize acts of kindness over business gains for genuine connections.

      Acts of kindness, no matter how small, can make a significant impact on others. Whether it's lending a helping hand, sending a gift, or offering advice, these gestures can brighten someone's day and create meaningful connections. The podcast host shared personal experiences of sending microphones to those starting podcasts and recommended the movie "BlacKkKlansman," which won numerous awards. He emphasized that these acts should not be motivated by business gains but rather by genuine care and generosity. Additionally, he encouraged listeners to check out the guests and resources mentioned in the episode, including the 6-minute networking course available for free at jordanharbinger.com/course. By prioritizing relationships and networking, individuals can build a strong support system and open doors to new opportunities.

    • Exploring new skills and experiencesKeep learning, share knowledge, and embrace new adventures. From podcasts to university courses, there are countless opportunities to grow and make a positive impact.

      Personal growth and learning new skills can lead to exciting experiences and adventures. The speaker, Jordan Harbinger, is currently working on new content for his website (jpd.me) and Skillshare courses on Final Cut Pro. He also hosts a tech podcast, "Grumpy Old Geeks," and encourages listeners to check it out. He emphasizes the importance of lifting others up and sharing the show with others. The speaker also shared a personal story about his trip to South Dakota, which he described as the best summer ever. He encountered new experiences, such as seeing bison and catching a big walleye. The speaker also mentioned Capella University's FlexPath learning format, which allows students to gain relevant skills and earn a degree from an accredited university at their own pace. Overall, the message is to continue learning, share knowledge with others, and embrace new experiences.

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    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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    • Is your significant other right to be upset that you want to spend some of your social time separately?
    • Is spending eight years to switch careers from barber to therapist worthwhile in your mid-forties?
    • Is there anything wrong with hiding the fact that you're in a relationship when you meet new people?
    • You're still young, but your mindless six-figure job is wearing on you. Would it be irresponsible to drop everything and do something else?
    • How can you overcome your intense fear and anxiety around driving? More important: should you?
    • Our listener whose dog was attacked in episode 161 tracked down the human responsible. What's the best next step?
    • Extensive (and very appreciated!) listener advice for helping the hoarders from last Feedback Friday.
    • Do we ever worry that recommending podcasts we enjoy will result in fewer listeners?
    • Life Pro Tip: When your ISP raises your bill, call in and say “cancel service” to the automated operator. You’ll be sent to their retention team. They will usually take $10-20 off your monthly bill for a year. I do this once a year with Comcast.
    • Recommendation of the Week: Why Not Home?
    • Quick shoutouts to Andrea Ott and Annie Chau!
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    On Divorce Sucks with Laura Wasser, family law attorney Laura Wasser answers questions, shares anecdotes and chats with opinionated men and women, innovative thought-leaders and celebrities about breaking up, getting...

    5: Faux Gravitas Your Way to Success | Feedback Friday

    5: Faux Gravitas Your Way to Success | Feedback Friday

    Jordan (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason (@jpdef) are back to banter every week and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday on The Jordan Harbinger Show!

    If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

    On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

    • New beginnings! New excitement! New puppies! New levels of sleep deprivation!
    • Here's a trick to convey contemplation rather than grumpitude if you've got one of those resting faces.
    • How do you turn from a Fibbing Freddy into a Trustworthy Terry?
    • How do we prepare for a show? (If you're interested in the longer story, tell us!)
    • Do you like this show? Please tell your friends about it -- we're starting from scratch and need your help!
    • Why should a woman who has more in common with her boyfriend and his friends be forced to hang out with the girlfriend group at social occasions?
    • Sometimes people who are stuck in a rut don't even realize it. Is there a delicate way to tell them?
    • There's something to be said for having the confidence to make mistakes (or dress like a kangaroo at the bar) without being embarrassed.
    • Recommendation of the Week: Somm
    • Quick shoutouts to Rick Higgins, Eric Onesto, and George Taylor!
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger, and check out Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. You can also find him on Instagram at JPD.

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here.

    60: Todd Kashdan | The Bright Truth about Your Dark Side

    60: Todd Kashdan | The Bright Truth about Your Dark Side

    Todd Kashdan (@toddkashdan) is a Professor of Psychology and Senior Scientist at the Center for the Advancement of Well-Being at George Mason University and co-author of The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self -- Not Just Your "Good" Self -- Drives Success and Fulfillment.

    What We Discuss with Todd Kashdan:

    • Why trying to be positive and happy all the time may be harming your ability to get things done and achieve the results you want.
    • How what you may think of as negative emotions -- like anger -- can be useful superpowers with the proper awareness and application.
    • The problem with living in a time and place when distraction from discomfort comes in an easier and greater variety than ever before.
    • Why every decision you make now is based on how you expect to feel in the future -- and you probably underestimate your ability to tolerate distress.
    • How you can use the discomfort caveat to ease out of the "put on a happy face" rut around others.
    • And much more...

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! 

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here.

    110: Stop Financially Supporting Deadbeat Friends | Feedback Friday

    110: Stop Financially Supporting Deadbeat Friends | Feedback Friday

    Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

    If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

    On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

    • How do you know if you're making progress and on track to a better and brighter future if you feel underqualified and inadequate about so much of your life? How can you measure your growth?
    • Sometimes you try so hard to help your loved ones with their issues that you forget to help yourself. Support is close if you know where to find it -- here's where we suggest looking.
    • How do you keep yourself from falling back into old, obsolete patterns of behavior whenever you visit your friends in your old hometown? Aren't you better than that now?
    • You've been on Facebook for 14 years and have never weeded out friends you've only spoken to once in that entire time. Now you're applying to a job and notice one of your obscure connections is VP of the company. Is it tacky to contact them?
    • If you genuinely love networking and meeting new people, you might feel bad about having to turn down lunch with some of them because you just don't have as much time as you used to (especially when they turn into sales pitches in disguise). How do you retreat from these invitations politely?
    • If you're proud of your political activism in college, does it do any harm to bring it up when you're looking for a new job?
    • Should you give up all the guaranteed benefits of your long-term government job to pursue a shaky future in the private sector that could result in more money and reemergence of happiness from that fire and drive you once had, but at a time cost and a possibility of being released or fired and losing those needed benefits for your family?
    • Since returning to your hometown as a successful attorney making the big bucks, one of your friends seems to think you should pay for everything you do together because you make more money. What do you do?
    • Recommendation of the Week: Jon Levy's What Makes Us Influential? TED Salon Talk
    • A quick shoutout to Renee in Montana!
    • Tank's Good News: Nike Signs First Runner with Cerebral Palsy
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: <a href="http://podcastone.com/grumpy-old-geeks"...

    77: Feedback Friday | How to Build Good Financial Habits from the Ground Up

    77: Feedback Friday | How to Build Good Financial Habits from the Ground Up

    Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter every week and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday!

    If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

    On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

    • If you're a lightweight, how can you pace yourself on a night out with heavily drinking coworkers without getting blackout drunk?
    • What resources do we recommend for building proper financial habits from the ground up?
    • How can you accept a new sales job that will have you directly competing with your old coworkers in a small market without feeling like a jerk?
    • If you're replaying negative feelings and thoughts of lost relationships in your head during moments of weakness in an otherwise fulfilling life, how might you break this habit and move on?
    • When you're dating someone of high value who gets a lot of attention from the opposite sex, how do you keep your feelings of jealousy at bay?
    • When you're the sole breadwinner for the family, how can you take time out for yourself to cope with internal struggles without disrupting the lives of your loved ones?
    • When you're the boss' kid, how do you prove to your coworkers that you consider yourself equal to everyone and capable of doing the job on your own merits?
    • How do you approach your competitors in a small market when doing market research?
    • Recommendation of the Week: How to get free Sunglass Hut cleaning spray refills for life.
    • Quick shoutouts to Diana and Zach!
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: Grumpy Old Geeks.

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! 

    Full show notes and resources can be found here.