Podcast Summary
Finding happiness in life's second half after loss and trauma: Even in the face of unimaginable loss and trauma, one can find happiness and meaning in life's second half through radical acceptance and the use of psychedelics, as demonstrated by Kelsey Chittick's inspiring journey after her husband's death.
Even in the face of unimaginable loss and trauma, it's possible to find happiness and meaning in life's second half. Kelsey Chittick, a writer, comedian, and inspirational speaker, shares her story of love, loss, and healing after her husband Nate's sudden death at the age of 42. Nate, a former NFL player, experienced the physical tolls of football, but his post-football life held even greater challenges. After Nate's passing, Kelsey had to navigate the grief and trauma with their young children. However, she found solace in radical acceptance and the use of psychedelics, which played a crucial role in her recovery. Through her experiences, Kelsey learned to embrace life's ups and downs and live joyfully, inspiring us all to do the same.
Determination and new experiences shaped swimming career: Despite challenges, individual persisted to swim for UNC, showcasing the power of determination and new experiences in achieving goals.
Determination and a desire for new experiences played a significant role in this individual's swimming career. Despite facing challenges and obstacles, such as not getting into her dream school initially and dealing with distractions, she persisted and ultimately achieved her goal of swimming for the University of North Carolina. Her strong breaststroke and ability to swim long distances proved valuable, and she even met her future husband during her time at UNC. However, her sophomore year was a difficult one, marked by weight gain, unhealthy habits, and negative influences. But she managed to turn things around and refocus on her goals, ultimately finding success both personally and athletically.
Unexpected love at a bar: Love can be found in unexpected places, and deep connections can be formed despite differences. Determination and hard work can lead to dreams coming true.
Sometimes, love can come from unexpected places. The speaker met Nate, a larger-than-life defensive tackle, at a bar and was immediately drawn to him despite their differences. Nate's confidence and ability to make people feel important stood out to her. They bonded over their shared search for meaning and purpose in life, and their connection deepened. Nate's dream of playing in the NFL seemed unlikely, but his determination and hard work eventually paid off. The speaker's relationship with Nate was unconventional, but it led to a deep and lasting love. They grew together, faced challenges, and ultimately built a life filled with joy and adventure. Their story is a reminder that love can be found in the most unexpected places and that it's the connections we make that truly matter.
The power of determination and hard work: Even when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds, determination and hard work can lead to success. Nate and Jeff's stories illustrate this idea perfectly.
Determination and hard work can lead to success, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. The story of Nate and Jeff, two college roommates with different football careers, illustrates this idea perfectly. Nate was often told he wouldn't make it in the NFL due to his position on the depth chart and his family's lack of interest in football. But he refused to give up and eventually got a shot on the Giants' practice squad. Despite being released and picked up by the Colts, he continued to work hard and prove himself. Jeff, on the other hand, was expected to succeed but was overlooked by NFL teams due to his height. Despite this setback, he continued to work hard and eventually became one of the greatest centers in NFL history. The story of these two friends serves as a reminder that with dedication and perseverance, anyone can achieve their goals, no matter what obstacles they may face.
Jeff's Inspiring Story of Nate and the Rams' Playoff Run: A team's energy and camaraderie can inspire individuals, even those facing challenges, to achieve exceptional results
The energy and camaraderie of a team can propel them to exceptional heights, even for individuals who face significant challenges. Jeff Saturday, a college football fan who became roommates with future NFL player Nate, was initially given a comforter as a wedding gift by the team that launched Nate's career. Jeff reminisced about the St. Louis Rams' remarkable playoff run during Kurt Warner's MVP season, where they reached the Super Bowl. Jeff, who was still in college at the time, was inspired by Warner's leadership and the team's positive energy. Nate, who faced physical challenges due to his size and position on the line, took the most hits and was a workhorse. Despite the early toll on his body, Nate's character and dedication earned him a spot in the NFL. The team's success and the camaraderie they shared made the experience unforgettable, even for a college fan like Jeff.
Former NFL player's struggles with retirement: Retired athletes face unique challenges adjusting to post-career life, requiring resilience and adaptability.
The speaker's husband, a former professional football player, faced numerous physical challenges throughout his career, including sleep apnea and injuries, which impacted his daily life and future health. Despite these challenges, he remained determined to achieve his goals and prioritized self-care. The speaker had mixed feelings about his retirement, as he struggled to adjust to a post-football life and found it difficult to find employment due to the vast difference in experiences between NFL players and the general population. The conversation highlights the unique challenges faced by athletes in transitioning out of their careers and the importance of resilience and adaptability.
The Hidden Costs of Professional Sports: Professional sports bring joy but also financial instability, health issues, and difficulty transitioning for athletes. Acknowledging and addressing these challenges is crucial for informed decisions and post-career support.
While football and other professional sports can bring joy and opportunities to players and their families, there is a hidden cost that often goes unaddressed. Many athletes face financial instability, health issues, and difficulty transitioning into post-career life. These challenges are not always highlighted in the public narrative, leaving potential athletes and their families with an incomplete understanding of the risks involved. It's essential to acknowledge and address these issues to ensure athletes are making informed decisions about their futures. Additionally, it's crucial to provide resources and support for athletes in their post-career lives, helping them navigate the challenges they may face.
Childhood influences career choices: Growing up with academic and service-oriented parents influenced the interviewee's decision to pursue a social work career, but lack of necessary skills and knowledge posed challenges. Education, adaptability, and understanding career expectations are crucial for a successful transition.
Background and upbringing significantly influence individuals' career choices and paths in life. The interviewee, who grew up with academic and service-oriented parents, was encouraged to serve rather than pursue a traditional high-paying career. However, his lack of certain essential skills and knowledge, such as biology and understanding of work culture, posed challenges when he transitioned from professional football to a social work career. Despite his dream to help people, he was unprepared for the financial realities and demands of the profession. The experience highlights the importance of education, adaptability, and a clear understanding of career expectations. The challenges faced by athletes in adjusting to post-career life are also significant, with many struggling with the transition and facing high rates of divorce and short careers.
From NFL player to social worker to financial advisor: Finding purpose amidst mental health struggles: Mental health struggles can lead to unexpected career paths, and finding purpose and meaning is crucial for personal growth. Open and honest conversations about mental and physical health are essential, especially for high-performing individuals.
Mental health struggles and the desire for a sense of purpose can lead individuals to unexpected career paths. Nate, a former NFL player, dealt with depression and anxiety, which led him to feel unfulfilled in his post-football life. Despite his efforts to improve himself, he couldn't shake the feeling of being lost. Eventually, he found purpose in social work but realized he couldn't make a living off it. He then transitioned into financial advising, using his knowledge and passion for finance to help others. Despite the ups and downs, Nate's story highlights the importance of finding meaning and purpose in life, even when faced with challenges. Additionally, the NFL's handling of players' health, particularly mental health, was touched upon in the conversation. Nate attended annual physicals required by the NFL, but it seems there were issues with his health that went unaddressed or uncommunicated. This underscores the need for open and honest conversations about mental and physical health, especially for athletes and high-performing individuals.
Friends noticed speaker's anxiety before husband's death, she tried to prepare and read self-help books: Friends observed speaker's anxiety years before husband's death, she tried to prepare and cope with fear through self-help and spiritual books, ultimately finding solace and transformation through a transformative event.
The speaker's friends noticed her anxiety and unease for several years before her husband's death. She felt an unexplained sense of impending danger and tried to prepare for it while also dealing with her anxiety. She had never been an anxious person before, but began experiencing panic attacks and fear. She talked to her husband about her fears, and he encouraged her to stop being afraid and focus on the present. The speaker began reading self-help and spiritual books in an attempt to understand her feelings and prepare for what she sensed was coming. Through this process, she was introduced to a book that had a profound impact on her and her husband, leading her to attend a transformative event in Jamaica. Despite coming from a spiritual family, the speaker struggled with fear, but believed in the importance of love, God, and fearlessness.
Former NFL player's hidden mental health struggles: Mental health issues can be concealed, impacting daily life without loved ones' awareness. Open communication and empathy are crucial.
Mental health struggles can be hidden from those closest to us, even when those struggles significantly impact a person's daily life. Nate, a former NFL player, was dealing with cognitive decline due to CTE, but his loved ones were unaware. Despite his successful nonprofit work and happy exterior, Nate was experiencing memory loss, sadness, and confusion. His friends noticed a change but couldn't understand what was happening. Nate's wife, who was also dealing with her own anxiety, didn't recognize the signs of CTE. Nate's journals, discovered after his death, revealed his inner turmoil and his attempts to cope. The realization of Nate's condition came too late, leaving his loved ones with a deep sense of regret and sadness. This story highlights the importance of open communication and awareness about mental health issues. It also emphasizes the need for understanding and empathy towards those who may be struggling, even if it's not immediately apparent.
Unexpected car ride leads to spiritual retreat and personal growth: Unexpected events can lead to profound realizations and personal growth, even in the face of tragedy
Sometimes unexpected events can lead to profound realizations and personal growth. The speaker shares a story about her partner, Nate, who surprised her by taking her to the airport despite his usual habit of letting her use Uber. During the car ride, they held hands and shared heartfelt words, and she received an invitation to a spiritual retreat in Jamaica. There, she felt a deep connection to the people and the experience, but was suddenly called back due to Nate's tragic accident at a trampoline park. Despite her initial disbelief, she came to accept that he was gone, and felt a sense of peace and clarity that allowed her to embrace her newfound independence and focus on her personal development. The experience at the retreat and the support of her community played a significant role in her recovery and growth.
Encountering unexpected support during a crisis: In times of crisis, there are people and angels around us, offering love and support to help us get through the toughest of challenges
Even in the most difficult and tragic moments of life, there is always hope and support from unexpected sources. The speaker's husband had passed away while she was traveling, but through a series of miraculous events, she was able to make it back home to her children. During her flight home, she encountered a kind and supportive Jamaican woman who offered words of comfort and encouragement, helping the speaker to begin the process of healing and deciding who she wanted to be moving forward. This experience served as a reminder that in times of crisis, there are people and angels around us, offering love and support to help us get through the toughest of challenges.
Remembering the love and kindness of a lost loved one: Though losing a loved one is painful, focusing on positive memories and seeking closure can help in the healing process.
Even in the face of unimaginable loss and pain, it's important to remember the positive experiences and the love shared. A mother, after losing her husband, emphasized to her children that they were the lucky ones for having had an exceptional father. She encouraged them to remember his kindness, patience, and love. The mother herself struggled with the physical and emotional pain of grief, but found solace in talking to her husband at the morgue and gaining closure. Though the process was difficult, she learned to find joy amidst the pain and fight for a good life for herself and her children. The experience of losing a loved one is surreal and painful, but with support and resilience, one can find a way to move forward.
Children grieve differently than adults: Recognize children's unique ways of coping with grief, provide time and support, and be patient as they process their feelings in their own way.
Children grieving the loss of a parent may not be ready or able to process their feelings through counseling or forced conversations. The speaker's experience with her own children after her husband's death showed that they needed time and support in different ways. While her daughter needed to integrate her experiences and forget about them for a while, her son benefited from talking to a neutral therapist. The children's reactions, such as physical avoidance and reluctance to discuss their feelings, were recognized by the therapist as signs that they were not ready to talk about the traumatic event. The speaker also shared that she learned that children process grief differently than adults and that they may need more time and space to cope. The use of humor and laughter, as well as avoiding triggers, were helpful in navigating the difficult first year of grief.
The Human Experience of Grief and Loss: Understanding and embracing the full range of human emotions, especially in the face of loss, is essential for personal growth and resilience. Ancient cultures may have had a different perspective on death and grief, but their experiences can still teach us valuable lessons.
The experience of grief and loss, whether it's in modern times or thousands of years ago, is a fundamental part of the human experience. The speaker shares her personal experience of losing her husband and how it challenged her resilience and expectations of life. She reflects on how the modern expectation of a long, happy life has made it harder for us to handle adversity, as opposed to our ancestors who were used to dealing with hardships. The speaker also shares how her perspective on death and grief has evolved over time, allowing her to find happiness and gratitude amidst her loss. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of acknowledging and embracing the full range of human emotions, especially in the face of loss.
The Dangers of Overexertion for Large Hearts: Large individuals, including athletes, are at risk for heart damage and early death from excessive physical exertion. Recognizing signs of heart and brain conditions can prevent tragic outcomes.
Excessive physical exertion, especially for larger individuals, can put immense strain on the heart, leading to cardiomyopathy and early death. Nate Chittick, a former football player, tragically died of an enlarged heart at a young age due to the overuse and strain on his heart from playing football. His heart was so stretched out and overused that it had no more give, compared to a water balloon that has been stretched out too far. Despite having a large heart spiritually, having a physically large heart can be detrimental, leading to early death for big men and big animals. The Boston University Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy Center identified that Nate had stage two CTE, which would have led to a difficult and degenerative life. Understanding the consequences of physical exertion and the importance of recognizing the signs of heart and brain conditions can help prevent similar tragedies in the future.
The Emotional Impact of CTE on Families: CTE's symptoms of depression, increased drinking, wanting to be alone, fatigue, and anger challenge families, who may struggle to accept the disease's implications and find solace in remembering their loved ones as they were before the symptoms appeared.
The discussion around CTE (Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy) and its impact on former football players and their families is complex and contentious. The speaker shares her personal experience with a friend's suicide, which was later attributed to CTE. She expresses the difficulty in accepting the disease's implications, as it challenges the notion that athletes knowingly signed up for the risks involved in their sport. The speaker also shares the symptoms of CTE, which include depression, increased drinking, wanting to be alone, fatigue, and anger. Despite her own acceptance of the disease, her children do not find solace in the knowledge and prefer to remember their father as he was before the symptoms appeared. The speaker reflects on her own experience with grief and the role of traditional medication in coping with loss. Ultimately, the conversation highlights the complex emotional landscape surrounding CTE and its impact on families and loved ones.
Navigating the Complex Emotions of Grieving: Grieving involves intense emotions, memories, and adjusting to a new reality. Mindfulness and setting aside time for feelings can help, while children can provide grounding and normalcy.
Grieving the loss of a loved one is a complex and ongoing process. Initially, there may be a prolonged period of intense shock and grief, which gradually lessens over time. Memories and associations with the deceased can be all-consuming, but as new experiences and relationships are formed, the brain begins to adjust to a new reality. It's important to find a balance between holding onto cherished memories and allowing oneself to move forward. Practicing mindfulness and setting aside dedicated time for feelings can be helpful in managing emotions. The presence of children during the grieving process can be both challenging and grounding, as they help maintain a sense of normalcy while also requiring the energy and focus of a caregiver. Ultimately, the grieving process is unique to each individual, and it's essential to be patient and compassionate with oneself as one navigates the complex emotions that come with the loss of a loved one.
Children's resilience to grief: Children grieve differently than adults, focusing on the present and forming new memories, parents should create a joyful home, balance speaking about the deceased with moving forward, manage display of pictures and videos, and use humor to cope.
Children are more resilient to grief than adults, as they live in the present moment and have not yet formed preconceived ideas or imagined a future that includes the deceased person. Parents should create a joyful home where grief can be discussed openly, but not be the sole focus. It's important to balance speaking about the deceased person with moving forward and creating new memories. Parents should also be careful with displaying pictures and videos, as they can become all-consuming if not managed appropriately. The use of humor and lightheartedness can also help in dealing with the grief. The speaker shared her experience of using psychedelics nine months after her husband's death as a means to access him and form a deeper relationship, but emphasized that everyone's journey is unique and what works for one person may not work for another.
Overcoming fear and judgment through psychedelic experiences: Fear and judgment can hinder personal growth and healing. Letting go of these barriers can lead to new experiences and insights.
Fear and judgment can prevent us from experiencing new things and healing from past traumas. The speaker shares her story of being hesitant to try psychedelics due to her fear of death and past experiences with addiction. However, after the death of a friend, she felt called to participate in a group psychedelic journey led by shamans. Despite her initial anxiety and resistance, she eventually let go of her fears and allowed the experience to unfold. The journey helped her access and process traumatic memories, providing her with a new perspective and sense of support. The experience also challenged her preconceived notions about psychedelics and the people who use them. Ultimately, the speaker learned that letting go of judgment and fear can lead to personal growth and healing.
Navigating intense emotions with support: Discovering the power of communicating openly and finding comfort in relationships, even beyond the physical realm, can lead to healing and growth.
The speaker discovered she could safely navigate intense emotional experiences during a psychedelic journey with the support of others. She was able to confront long-suppressed anger towards her deceased husband and eventually found comfort and guidance from him, feeling their connection stronger than ever before. This experience taught her the importance of living fearlessly and communicating openly with loved ones, even beyond the physical realm. The speaker now cherishes this unique relationship and finds solace and guidance from her husband, who continues to send her signs and messages.
Overcoming Fear of Death through Plant Medicine: Speaker's experiences with plant medicine helped him let go of ego and judgments, find peace, and realize alcohol no longer works for him.
The speaker's experiences with plant medicine, particularly psychedelics, have given him a new perspective on life and helped him overcome his fears, specifically the fear of death. He found that these experiences allowed him to let go of his ego and judgments, providing him with a sense of peace and connection to something bigger than himself. He also mentioned that alcohol no longer works for him as it used to, leading him to stop drinking. However, he has not yet decided how or when to discuss his experiences with plant medicine with his children.
Effects on individuals beyond state change: Psychedelics like psilocybin and MDMA can positively change traits, while alcohol and cocaine primarily alter state without significant improvement, making psychedelics valuable tools in personal growth when used responsibly.
While the legality of psychoactive substances is important, it's crucial to consider their effects on the individual beyond just changing their state. Some substances, like alcohol and cocaine, primarily alter one's state without significantly improving traits. In contrast, psychedelics like psilocybin and MDMA have the potential to change traits for the better, making users more open, less afraid, and more empathetic. These substances can serve as valuable tools in personal growth when used in conjunction with traditional therapy. However, it's essential to approach their use with intention and preparation, recognizing that they are not a substitute for the hard work of self-improvement.
Embracing experiences for personal growth: Through mindful practices and radical acceptance, find peace and happiness during hardships.
Our experiences, both positive and negative, play a significant role in shaping our recovery and personal growth. The speaker emphasizes the importance of meditation and spiritual practices, especially during difficult times, in helping to change thoughts and feelings. Radical acceptance, or accepting things as they are, is also mentioned as a crucial aspect of coping with hardships. The speaker suggests that if emotional health classes focusing on these practices were part of the core curriculum in schools, it could help equip individuals with valuable skills for handling life's challenges. The idea is that by practicing acceptance and meditation regularly, one can find peace and happiness, even in the face of adversity. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of living a life that honors the memory of loved ones who have passed away. Overall, the key takeaway is that through mindful practices and radical acceptance, we can find peace and happiness, even in the midst of hardships.
Finding Meaning and Purpose After Tragedy: Surviving a tragedy can lead to personal growth and deeper appreciation for life through practices like Stoicism, Buddhism, meditation, reading, gratitude, and changing mindset. Write down your story for therapy and inspiration.
Going through difficult experiences can lead to personal growth and a deeper appreciation for life. My friend Rick Elias, who survived the US Airways Flight 1549 crash in the Hudson River, is a prime example of this. He credits his survival and the practices of Stoicism and Buddhism for helping him find meaning and purpose in his second chance at life. For those going through a tragedy, it's important to hang on and do the work to get through it. The practices of meditation, reading, gratitude, and changing your mindset can help you build the bridge to the other side. Writing down your story can also be a therapeutic and inspiring experience for yourself and others. Remember, time does heal, and the pain will gradually get better. Don't be too hard on yourself, and keep moving forward.
Embracing the complexities and contradictions of life: Feeling devastated and excited about new possibilities, everyone's experience is unique, and deeper engagement with content enriches our lives
Life is full of ups and downs, and it's important to embrace the complexities and contradictions of our experiences. Author Kelsey reflected on her own painful loss and the duality of feeling both devastated and excited about new possibilities. Her honesty resonated with listeners, who appreciated the multifaceted nature of her story. Another key takeaway is the importance of privacy and individual experiences. Kelsey's children were embarrassed but secretly proud of their mother's book, and they would have different perspectives and memories of the events. This underscores the idea that everyone's experience of a situation is unique and personal. Lastly, the podcast episode highlighted the benefits of deeper engagement with content through a membership program. This includes access to exclusive content, discounts on recommended products, and a supportive community. By providing more in-depth resources and fostering a sense of connection, the membership program aims to enrich listeners' experiences and help them navigate the complexities of life.
