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    252: "Things Were Going Well... Then He Ended it Suddenly"

    enJuly 11, 2024
    What are the dangers of rushing into relationships?
    How can one build a genuine connection in dating?
    Why is it important to focus on the present in relationships?
    What does Matthew Hussey’s guide 'Spark and Connect' offer?
    How can emotional investment affect hiring decisions?

    Podcast Summary

    • Hurry in relationshipsApproach dating calmly and focus on building genuine connections instead of rushing or getting overly invested too quickly to avoid confusion and hurt.

      Rushing into relationships or getting overly invested too quickly can lead to confusion and hurt when the other person changes their mind. It's important to approach dating from a place of calm and self-assurance, rather than desperation or urgency. As Matthew Hussey mentioned, being in a hurry can make us more susceptible to manipulation or false promises. Instead, focus on building a genuine connection and give the relationship time to grow naturally. Remember, it's okay to feel hurt and confused when things don't go as planned, but try not to dwell on the past and instead, learn from the experience and move forward. Additionally, Matthew's new free guide "Spark and Connect" can provide valuable tools for starting meaningful conversations and creating genuine connections.

    • Over-promising in Relationships and SalesHuman instinct and impulse can lead to over-promising, causing misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and broken trust. Focus on building genuine connections and communication, and consider under-promising and over-delivering for a more sustainable and trustworthy approach.

      People, especially during the beginning of relationships or when trying to make a sale, may over-promise due to human instinct and impulse. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and even broken trust. It's essential to understand this behavior as a natural part of human psychology, but it's also crucial to be cautious and not rely solely on what people say in the beginning. Instead, focus on building a genuine connection and communication to avoid potential disappointments and heartaches. Additionally, under-promising and over-delivering is a more sustainable and trustworthy approach to any relationship or commitment.

    • Love at first sightBe aware of the potential for disappointment in love at first sight, manage energy, stay hopeful, and remain discerning while being patient and self-aware.

      Our experiences with instant connections in love, as exciting as they may be, can often lead to disappointment and leave us questioning ourselves. It's essential to be aware of the seductive nature of love at first sight stories and the potential for people to change their minds without clear reasons. The hiring analogy emphasizes the importance of not becoming overly cynical or rushing into relationships, as both approaches can lead to missed opportunities. Instead, we must manage our energy and stay hopeful while remaining discerning. Ultimately, the journey towards finding a real relationship requires patience, self-awareness, and a willingness to learn from past experiences.

    • Projecting future experiencesProjecting future experiences can create a false sense of connection and lead to disappointment if things don't turn out as expected. Focusing on the present and setting clear boundaries is key to creating a stronger, more authentic connection.

      Projecting future experiences and getting too attached too early in relationships or situations, such as hiring, can create a false sense of connection and loyalty. This can lead to disappointment and misunderstandings if things don't turn out as expected. Instead, focusing on the present and setting clear boundaries can help ensure that both parties are on the same page and can create a stronger, more authentic connection over time. The speaker's popular free masterclass, "Dating with Results," emphasizes this concept and has helped over a million people improve their dating experiences. Similarly, in hiring, it's essential to keep a clear head and focus on the job at hand during the trial period, rather than getting too emotionally invested too soon.

    • New RelationshipsBe intentional, set boundaries, maintain own interests, avoid overly bold decisions, and remember everyone moves at their own pace in new relationships.

      When starting a new relationship, it's essential to be intentional and measured in your actions, while still allowing yourself to feel emotions and connect with your partner. This means setting boundaries, maintaining your own interests and commitments, and avoiding making overly bold decisions or investments too early on. By doing so, you can protect yourself from potential disappointment and keep a healthy balance in the relationship. Additionally, it's important to remember that everyone moves at their own pace, and it's crucial not to compare your relationship to societal expectations or romanticized notions of love. Instead, approach the relationship as an unfolding journey and focus on getting to know your partner authentically over time.

    • Consistency in relationshipsConsistency is crucial for a lasting connection, but intensity alone doesn't guarantee commitment. Approach dating with an open mind and be prepared for the possibility of disappointment.

      While the initial excitement and intensity in a relationship can be fulfilling, it's important to remember that consistency is key for a lasting connection. Intensity is easier to experience and show in the beginning stages, but maintaining it and evolving the relationship requires effort. It's essential to approach dating with an open mind and not be overly focused on rules or expectations. Intense experiences can be enjoyable, but they don't guarantee long-term commitment. The risk of putting oneself out there in love is that feelings can change, and it's essential to be prepared for the possibility of disappointment. However, the rewards of love are worth the risk, and it's important to believe in the possibility of finding a lasting connection while also accepting the uncertainty that comes with it.

    • Overcoming fear of rejectionRejection doesn't define our worth or ability to find love or express creativity, and it's temporary. Keep trying, focus on self-fulfillment, and seek support when needed.

      Shutting down the possibility of love or creativity out of fear of rejection can hinder a person's overall well-being and happiness. Rejection can be painful, but it's important to remember that it doesn't define our worth or ability to find love or express creativity. Everyone has the capacity to be creative and find love, but sometimes rejection can make us doubt ourselves. However, it's crucial to remember that these feelings are temporary and not to put too much emphasis on any one person. Instead, focus on living a life that feels fulfilling to you, and keep trying even when faced with rejection. Additionally, if you're going through a tough time, consider sharing your story with others to find support and connection. And finally, remember that reviews and shares help spread the word about the podcast, so if you're enjoying it, please leave a review and share it with others.

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