Podcast Summary
Embracing the value of growing up: Neiman encourages readers to see adulthood as a time of autonomy, freedom, and rebellion against cultural expectations
Growing up doesn't have to mean becoming boring or stodgy. In fact, Susan Neiman argues that becoming a grown-up is a rebellious act. Our culture, including the use of smartphones, can infantilize us, making it seem like growing up is something to avoid. But Neiman, author of "Why Grow Up," believes that enlightenment thinkers like Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Immanuel Kant can teach us that maturity is a valuable and subversive thing. Neiman's book is a response to the idea that adulthood is a time of resignation and loss. Instead, she encourages readers to embrace the autonomy and freedom that comes with growing up. The book has resonated with people of all ages, providing a refreshing perspective on the often-maligned concept of adulthood.
Modern culture keeps us from growing up and embracing adulthood: Modern culture's distractions and infantilizing tendencies hinder personal growth and self-discovery, keeping individuals from embracing the challenges and joys of adulthood
Modern culture, through constant distractions and infantilizing tendencies, makes it difficult for individuals to grow up and fully embrace the challenges and joys of adulthood. This is evident in the common narrative that growing up is an unhappy and unfulfilling experience, despite empirical evidence suggesting the opposite. The author argues that this narrative serves a political purpose, convincing people to accept low expectations for their lives. The author uses the example of distractions, such as screens at gas pumps, to illustrate how we are kept from reflecting on our lives and making meaningful decisions. This manipulation, which starts with babies and continues into adulthood, hinders personal growth and self-discovery.
Society's obsession with trivial choices: Focusing on trivial choices distracts us from important decisions impacting our lives, encouraging us to consider bigger questions instead.
Our society's obsession with trivial choices can distract us from the important issues that impact our lives on a larger scale. Alain de Botton, in his book "Status Anxiety," argues that parents are better at making important decisions for their children than adults in a society overwhelmed by insignificant choices. He emphasizes the importance of traveling and experiencing different cultures to gain perspective and become aware of how much mental energy is wasted on making trivial decisions. De Botton uses the example of shopping for toothpaste or cereal in a large supermarket, which can exhaust our brains and prevent us from considering the bigger questions, such as how our tax money is spent or how our government operates. This distraction gives us a false sense of control, as we believe we are making choices in our consumer behavior, but the important decisions are largely out of our hands. De Botton encourages us to focus on the bigger questions and not get bogged down in the trivial ones.
Balancing reality and possibility in growing up: Maintain a balance between focusing on present needs and striving for personal dreams and aspirations for a fulfilling life and better world
Growing up doesn't just mean focusing on providing for oneself and one's family. While this is important, it's equally essential to keep in mind the way the world should be, including personal dreams and aspirations. This holistic perspective not only benefits the world as a whole but also leads to a more fulfilling life. We're often taught to close our eyes to the way the world should be and solely focus on the present. However, it's crucial to maintain a balance between the two. In essence, growing up involves keeping one foot in reality and the other in the realm of possibility.
The enlightenment era brought about the idea of individual choice in growing up: During the enlightenment era, influential thinkers like Rousseau and Kant recognized the significance of personal choice and growth in becoming an adult.
Becoming an adult is a problem of the enlightenment era because before around 1750, individual choice played a minimal role in people's lives. However, with the onset of the enlightenment, the idea of determining one's own life path became a possibility. Jean-Jacques Rousseau and Immanuel Kant, both influential enlightenment thinkers, recognized this shift and saw growing up as a task rather than an inherent given. Rousseau, who came from a working-class background, emphasized the importance of individualism and self-expression. Kant, also from a humble background, advocated for moral reasoning and personal autonomy. Despite their stylistic differences, they shared a belief in the significance of personal choice and growth during the enlightenment period.
The Importance of Education in Creating Informed Citizens: Rousseau, an enlightenment thinker, emphasized the significance of education for democratic societies by proposing an ideal education system in 'Emile' that fosters naturally curious individuals and combats societal corruption.
During the Renaissance and early modern period, education was not a priority for the masses, but enlightenment thinkers like Rousseau recognized its importance in creating informed citizens for a democratic society. Rousseau wrote "Emile," the first child-raising manual, proposing an ideal education to foster naturally curious and democratic individuals. He believed children are born this way but are corrupted by societal practices. While impractical, it sparked the beginning of pedagogy and the understanding that education is essential for a progressive society.
Respecting a child's curiosity leads to their growth: Rousseau's idea of treating children with respect and dignity influences philosophers like Kant, leading to decent and respectful individuals
Respecting a child's natural curiosity and treating them decently can lead to their growth into decent and respectful individuals. This idea, originating from Rousseau's "Emile," has influenced philosophers like Kant. Despite their different styles, Kant was deeply inspired by Rousseau's belief that people, if treated well, are not inherently evil. This idea, often referred to as the denial of original sin, was controversial in Rousseau's time and led to the banning and burning of his book. The importance of treating people with respect and dignity continues to be a significant concept in education and human interaction.
Understanding Human Nature Shapes Society: Rousseau believed that our assumptions about human nature influence the society we build, and reflecting on adulthood, traveling, and seeking independence can help individuals grow up.
According to Rousseau, people in the state of nature are morally neutral, and we cannot definitively know what human nature was like in the past. Instead, our assumptions about human nature shape the society we build. To become adults, individuals should reflect on what being a grown-up means, as some people in their twenties and thirties may still feel childlike despite having adult responsibilities. Travel is one way to grow up, but other methods include thinking deeply about adulthood and seeking independence and freedom. Rousseau's ideas about education emphasized treating children as democratic free individuals, allowing them to learn and grow into that role. Ultimately, the way we view human nature influences the kind of society we create, so it's essential to consider what assumptions we want to base our society on.
Challenging the Narrative of Growing Up: Embrace the process of growing up by being self-reflective, thinking for oneself, and staying active in the world to lead a meaningful and adventurous life.
Growing up is a continuous process, not a destination. The idea of being a grown-up should not be equated with giving up on hopes for an interesting and adventurous life. Instead, embracing the process of growing up, becoming self-reflective, thinking for oneself, and being active in the world can be subversive and fulfilling. The prevailing cultural narrative that growing up is a sucker's game and encourages staying infantile is a tool for control. By challenging this narrative and striving to become a grown-up in the described sense, one can lead a meaningful and adventurous life.
The Importance of Serious Thought and Intellectual Discourse: Engaging in serious thought and intellectual discourse helps us make informed decisions and face challenges head-on, leading to better citizenship and personal growth.
Neiman emphasized that avoiding difficult conversations and decisions can have significant political consequences. She encouraged listeners to engage in serious thought and intellectual discourse to better understand complex issues and make informed decisions. Neiman's book "Why Grow Up?" explores these ideas further, and I encourage you to check out her website, Susan-Neiman.de, for more information about her work and writing. Remember, growing up means facing challenges head-on and taking responsibility for our actions, even when it's difficult. So, let's all strive to be more mature and engaged citizens, and for more manly tips and advice, make sure to visit The Art of Manliness website at ArtofManliness.com. And don't forget to leave a review on iTunes or Stitcher to help us spread the word. Stay manly!
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