Podcast Summary
Joe's Transformation from Party Animal to Inner City Minister: Football can be a powerful tool for character development, teaching young men to be both tough and tender, challenging lies of masculinity, and emphasizing strategic masculinity's importance.
Jeffrey Marks, the author of "Season of Life," shares his experiences learning from Joe during his time as a ball boy for the Baltimore Colts in the 1970s. Joe's transformation from a party animal to an inner city minister, who focuses on helping young men, is a testament to the power of football as a tool for character development. The lies of masculinity in popular culture, such as violence and emotional detachment, are discussed, and the importance of strategic masculinity, which emphasizes tenderness and vulnerability, is highlighted. The bond between Joe and Jeffrey, as well as Jeffrey's relationship with his own father, illustrates how Joe's philosophy on masculinity can positively impact men's lives. Overall, this episode offers valuable insights into the importance of teaching young men to be both tough and tender, and how football can be a powerful tool for character development.
Lessons from football players: Childhood experiences with football players taught the author valuable lessons about expressing emotions and being a man, which he hadn't learned from his own father. Even seemingly carefree individuals can experience deep emotions and life-changing events.
Childhood experiences, even those seemingly unrelated to our present lives, can have profound impacts on us as we grow older. The author shares how his interactions with professional football players taught him valuable lessons about expressing emotions and being a man, which he hadn't learned from his own father. One player, Joe, was particularly influential. Joe was known for his love of fun and parties but underwent a significant transformation after his younger brother's death in 1978. This event led Joe to seek meaning in his life and eventually enter the ministry, where he made a difference in the lives of many in a tough Baltimore neighborhood. The author's experiences with Joe and his brother's death showed him that even the most seemingly carefree individuals can experience deep emotions and life-changing events.
Realizing the importance of teaching boys and men about true masculinity: False notions of masculinity, such as athletic ability, sexual conquest, and economic success, don't define a man of substance. Instead, intentional definition and living into 'strategic masculinity' is crucial to addressing societal issues.
Joe's ministry in the inner city led him to realize that teaching boys and men what it means to be a man of substance and impact is crucial to addressing societal issues. He calls this "strategic masculinity," which requires intentional definition and living into. Joe identifies three false notions of masculinity: athletic ability, sexual conquest, and economic success. While these can be enjoyable, they don't define a man of substance. Instead, false masculinity can manifest as an obsession with athletic ability from a young age, a notch-in-the-belt mentality regarding sexual relationships, and a preoccupation with economic success, power, and privilege. To be a man of impact, one must look beyond these falsehoods and strive for a deeper, intentional definition of masculinity.
Defining a Meaningful Life: Relationships and a Cause Beyond Oneself: Form strong relationships and serve others through a transcendent cause for a meaningful and fulfilling life.
According to Joe Ehrmann, a former professional football player turned minister and youth advocate, a meaningful and fulfilling life is defined by two main components: relationships and having a cause beyond oneself. He emphasizes the importance of strong relationships, focusing on being a loving husband, father, son, brother, classmate, teammate, and community member. The second component is serving others through a transcendent cause, which is larger than one's personal desires and goals. Joe's work includes a ministry and a men's ministry, as well as coaching high school football to teach young men about these concepts. He believes that sports, particularly high school sports, is an effective platform to reach and teach teenage boys about the importance of masculinity and making a positive impact on the world.
Building a community on and off the field: Joe and Biff prioritized character development and strong relationships, emphasizing kindness, empathy, inclusion, justice, living a life of service, integrity, and bringing all talents on and off the field, leaving a lasting impact on their players' lives.
Joe and Biff, the coaches of the Gilman Greyhounds football team in Baltimore, were not just building a team, but a community. They emphasized the importance of keeping the head and heart connected, teaching values such as kindness, empathy, inclusion, justice, living a life of service to others, integrity, and bringing all talents on and off the field. Their unique approach, which involved having the boys pledge to love each other during their first practice, reflected their commitment to building strong relationships and character development. This approach resonated with the speaker, reminding them of their own high school football experience where the coach's primary focus was on developing young men into men. The coaches' impact went beyond just football, leaving a lasting impression on the boys' lives.
Coaches shaping lives beyond wins and losses: Coaches should focus on character development and creating lives of substance for their players, not just winning games.
Coaches, whether in sports or other fields, have a crucial role in shaping the lives of young people. The original use of the word "coach" referred to transporting someone of importance to their desired destination. In the context of youth sports, coaches should focus on developing character and creating lives of substance beyond just wins and losses. The coaches discussed in the conversation, Joe Ehrmann and his team, the Gilman Greyhounds, exemplified this approach by instilling strong values and supporting their players both on and off the field. Despite initial skepticism, their success on the field proved that this approach was effective. As a former high school basketball player, I can attest to the impact of different coaching styles, and the lessons learned from both a supportive and a screaming coach have stayed with me.
The enduring impact of a coach goes beyond sports: The relationships formed during a football program create a strong community that fosters greatness and positively influences the lives of players long after their athletic careers have ended.
The impact of a coach, like the farmer in the story of "Friday Night Lights," extends far beyond the football field and lasts for decades. The relationships formed during the program create a strong community that fosters greatness and positively influences the lives of the players long after their athletic careers have ended. This was evident in the success stories of the Gilman High School football team alumni, who have gone on to make significant impacts in their communities as coaches and citizens. Additionally, the author's experience of reconnecting with his father through the football team was unexpected and transformative, highlighting the power of sports to bring people together and heal old wounds. Overall, the message of the book is that the true measure of success and greatness lies in the positive impact one makes on the lives of others.
Reconnecting with a father through meaningful conversations: Exploring a father's past experiences and aspirations through heartfelt conversations deepens relationships and reveals unexpected insights.
Having meaningful conversations with our loved ones, particularly our fathers, can lead to a deeper understanding of their lives and our own. The speaker shares his experience of reconnecting with his father in his late 30s, leading to hours of heartfelt conversations that brought them closer than ever before. He emphasizes the importance of asking questions and being curious about our parents' past experiences and aspirations. The speaker also highlights the unexpected discovery of a book, "Questions to Ask Your Father," which served as a blueprint for his conversations with his dad. This experience underscores the value of taking the time to connect with our loved ones and explore the richness of their lives.
The Power of Curiosity and Asking Questions: Marks shares how his father's use of thought-provoking questions during car rides shaped his life, inspiring him to spread this gift to others through his Pulitzer Prize-winning book 'Season of Life'. Embrace curiosity, ongoing learning, and sharing experiences with loved ones.
Marks shared how his father's use of such questions during their car rides had a profound impact on his life, and how he, in turn, was able to share this gift with other families. Marks' Pulitzer Prize-winning book, "Season of Life," is just one way he continues to spread this message. You can learn more about Marks and his work by visiting his website, JefferyMarkz.org, or following him on Twitter @JefferyMarkz25. The conversation between Marks and the podcast host also touched on the importance of viewing life as a journey, and the value of ongoing learning and sharing experiences with others. If you're interested in delving deeper into these topics, be sure to check out the show notes at AOM.IS/SeasonofLife for additional resources.
