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    42: Unhinged 2.0 w/ Drew Afualo

    enNovember 11, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Understanding and respecting differing perspectivesMisunderstandings and hurtful accusations can arise when values and priorities clash. Open and honest communication is key to avoiding such situations and respecting each other's perspectives.

      It's important to stand firm on values and priorities, even if they don't align with someone else's perspective. In the discussed situation, a woman's decision to host a girls' night in was met with criticism and disapproval from her boyfriend. He viewed it as outdated and toxic, but she saw it as an essential bonding experience with her friends. The disagreement escalated, with the boyfriend labeling her as sexist and misogynistic. However, the woman refused to compromise her values and continued to prioritize her friendships. This situation highlights the importance of understanding and respecting each other's perspectives, even when they differ. Miscommunication and misunderstandings can lead to hurtful accusations and negative emotions. In this case, the boyfriend's reaction was rooted in a lack of understanding of the significance of girls' nights in for women. It's crucial to have open and honest conversations about such matters to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Additionally, the boyfriend's attempt to isolate the woman from her friends and gaslight her was a form of emotional manipulation and abuse. It's essential to recognize and call out such behaviors when they occur. Overall, the discussion emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, respect, and understanding in relationships.

    • Jealousy and Possessiveness: Red Flags in RelationshipsRespect your partner's friendships and trust them to make responsible decisions, as excessive jealousy and attempts to control social interactions can be harmful and potentially indicative of deeper issues.

      A man's jealousy and possessiveness over a woman's friendships can be a major red flag in a relationship. In the discussed scenario, a man expressed disapproval and attempted to control his partner's plans for a girls' night in. The woman was taken aback by his reaction, as they didn't live together and he had no reason to believe anything inappropriate would occur. The man's behavior was reminiscent of gaslighting and an attempt to make the woman feel crazy for wanting to spend time with her friends. The history of gossiping being rebranded as a negative female behavior was also discussed, highlighting how societal perceptions can impact the way we view women's social interactions. Overall, it's important for individuals to respect their partners' friendships and trust that they will make responsible decisions.

    • Understanding Women's Intimate ConnectionsWomen's ability to form deep, intimate friendships is a source of strength and connection, rooted in their unique 'divine feminine energy'.

      Women have a unique ability to form deep connections and share intimate details with each other. This openness and empathy are part of the "divine feminine energy" that allows women to form strong bonds. In contrast, the speaker's boyfriend and his friends seemed to have less open conversations, focusing more on mundane topics. The speaker found this intriguing and believed that men's friendships might be different from women's. She also noted that some people may criticize women for having close, intimate friendships, but she saw it as a source of strength and connection. Ultimately, the speaker plans to explore this topic further by interviewing male guests on her podcast about their perspectives on sex and relationships.

    • The importance of open communication and prioritizing health in relationshipsSharing pleasurable experiences and consent, as well as seeking medical attention and standing up for oneself, are vital in maintaining healthy relationships.

      Open communication and prioritizing health are crucial in relationships. The first story showcases the importance of sharing pleasurable experiences and consent, while the second emphasizes the significance of seeking medical attention and standing up for oneself when necessary. Unfortunately, the second story also highlights the unacceptable behavior of a partner who disregards his girlfriend's pain and well-being. Both stories remind us to value open communication, mutual respect, and prioritizing each other's needs and well-being in our relationships.

    • Importance of empathy and communication in relationshipsEmpathy and communication are essential in relationships, especially during pain or discomfort. Trusting one's own body and advocating for health is important. Being attentive to partner's needs and emotions, and supportive during difficult times, strengthens relationships.

      Communication and empathy are crucial in relationships, especially during times of pain or discomfort. The discussion highlights a situation where a woman's partner dismissed her pain and disrespected her wishes, leading to frustration and anger. The woman felt that her boyfriend should have been more supportive and understanding, instead of asking her to be quiet so he could sleep. This lack of empathy and communication led to a breakdown in their relationship. The incident also raised questions about the importance of trusting one's own body and advocating for one's health. The woman's experience underscores the importance of being attentive to one's partner's needs and emotions, and being understanding and supportive during times of pain or discomfort.

    • Ignoring women's pain can be dangerousWomen should demand respect and empathy for their pain, not be dismissed or belittled. Seek alternatives for support and set high standards in relationships.

      Women's pain and discomfort should be taken seriously and not dismissed or belittled. The speaker shared her personal experience of being ignored and belittled by a boyfriend when she was experiencing severe pain, which turned out to be a urinary tract infection. She emphasized that this kind of behavior is unacceptable and can potentially be life-threatening. The comments on the post echoed her sentiment and urged women to demand respect and empathy from their partners. The speaker also emphasized the importance of having alternatives and not relying solely on a partner for support, especially during medical emergencies. She encouraged women to set high standards in their relationships and not settle for less than they deserve.

    • Unconditional support in vulnerable momentsTrue love requires open communication, trust, and a willingness to be there for your partner in all aspects of life

      True love is about unconditional support and care for one another, even in uncomfortable or vulnerable situations. The speaker shared a thought-provoking question: would you be able to care for your partner in their most needy moments, such as helping them bathe or using the restroom? This idea was passed down from the speaker's mother and emphasizes the importance of being willing to put your partner's needs above your own. The conversation also touched on the idea of building a safe space in a relationship, where both partners feel comfortable being vulnerable and authentic with each other. This can include sharing bodily functions or discussing uncomfortable topics. The takeaway is that true love requires open communication, trust, and a willingness to be there for your partner in all aspects of life.

    • Trust and Respect in RelationshipsTrust is essential in a healthy relationship, and any violation of that trust can have serious consequences. Be aware of red flags and communicate openly with your partner.

      Relationships should be built on trust and respect. The discussion revolves around two women who shared their experiences of being in relationships with men who betrayed their trust in disturbing ways. The first woman discovered that her partner had been wiping his own bottom instead of hers, indicating a lack of love and consideration. The second woman was horrified to find out that her partner had been putting slugs in her food, an act of psychological and emotional abuse. Both women felt lost and unsure of how to move forward. The takeaway here is that trust is essential in a healthy relationship, and any violation of that trust can have serious consequences. The actions of these men were not only disrespectful but also dangerous, as in the case of the second woman who could have been poisoned by the slugs. It's crucial to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and to be aware of any red flags that may indicate a lack of respect or love. If you find yourself in a situation where your trust has been violated, it's essential to prioritize your safety and well-being and consider seeking professional help if needed.

    • Discovering a Partner's Harmful ActionsBeing in a relationship with someone who manipulates or takes advantage of vulnerabilities can lead to dangerous situations, especially for those with mental health issues. Prioritize personal safety and seek help when necessary.

      Trust can be easily broken in relationships, leading to harmful and manipulative actions. The individual in this discussion shared her experience of being hospitalized due to suspected slug poisoning, which led to the discovery of her ex-partner's disturbing actions. He confessed to tampering with her food, medication, and even adding a dead pet snail to her curry. The reasons behind his actions remain unclear, but the situation highlights the potential danger of being in a relationship with someone who takes advantage of a partner's vulnerabilities, especially those with mental health issues. The incident serves as a reminder to prioritize personal safety and seek help when necessary.

    • A man's mental illness did not excuse his attempts to poison his girlfriendMental illness does not justify harming or attempting to kill a partner. Prioritize safety and seek help if suspicious of abuse.

      Mental illness does not give someone the right to harm or attempt to kill their partner. The discussion revolves around a man who went to great lengths to poison his girlfriend with snails, which required premeditation and planning. The fact that he had to research and teach himself to cook with snails, and then deceive her with lies, highlights the extent of his deranged behavior. It's important to remember that mental illness does not excuse such actions, and there are plenty of mentally ill individuals who do not harm others. The victim in this case was left traumatized, questioning why this happened and dealing with food aversion and potential long-term health issues. It's crucial for individuals to prioritize their safety and well-being in relationships and seek help if they suspect any form of abuse or harm.

    • Understanding mental illness doesn't equate to accepting harmful actionsBe mindful of people's behavior towards loved ones and consider the potential impact on relationships and well-being.

      Mental illness does not define a person as bad or dangerous. However, when someone's actions become harmful to themselves or others, it may be necessary for them to receive help in a controlled environment. In a different situation, a man's girlfriend's behavior towards his family raised concerns, and his mother had a bad feeling about her. The girlfriend's overly familiar and disrespectful actions towards the family members, especially towards the father and husband, created an uncomfortable atmosphere. These incidents serve as reminders of the importance of being aware of people's behavior and considering the potential impact on relationships and well-being.

    • Disrespectful behavior towards partner's family causes tensionAvoid interrupting, making inappropriate comments, and threatening to leave during family events to maintain healthy relationships and respect boundaries.

      Attempting to manipulate or embarrass a partner's family member is an inappropriate and unhealthy behavior. The woman's actions during a family dinner, including interrupting conversations and making inappropriate comments, caused tension and distress for everyone involved. Her boyfriend's family was apologetic, but the situation escalated when she publicly threatened to leave her boyfriend for someone else. The boyfriend's brother became involved, leading to further conflict and potential family separation. It's important to respect boundaries and maintain a respectful attitude towards partners' families to prevent unnecessary drama and maintain healthy relationships.

    • Importance of Open Communication in RelationshipsOpen communication is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. Addressing underlying issues before they escalate can prevent misunderstandings and foster positive dynamics.

      Communication is key in maintaining healthy relationships. The speaker in the conversation shared an experience where her boyfriend's brother became jealous and disruptive when he learned that his brother was planning to propose to his girlfriend. The situation escalated to the point where the brother made offensive comments and threatened to disrupt the wedding. However, upon further discussion, it was revealed that the brother had been harboring feelings of insecurity and jealousy, which he expressed in an unhealthy way. The incident highlights the importance of open communication and addressing underlying issues before they escalate into bigger problems. It also underscores the need to respect boundaries and avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. Overall, the conversation serves as a reminder to prioritize open and honest communication in our relationships to prevent misunderstandings and foster healthy and positive dynamics.

    • Older brother's jealousy and actions towards relationshipOlder brother's feelings of threat and insecurity may be causing tension and damaging relationships due to unresolved feelings towards girlfriend.

      The older brother's jealousy and subsequent actions towards the speaker's relationship with her boyfriend may stem from feeling threatened by their impending marriage, as well as his own unresolved feelings towards the girlfriend. The brother's behavior is causing tension within the family and potentially damaging relationships, as well as putting his mother in a difficult position. It's possible that the brother has had feelings for the girlfriend for some time and may have acted out of jealousy or insecurity when he found out about the proposal. The situation is complex and emotionally charged, with various motivations and dynamics at play.

    • Healthy relationships require clear communication and understandingEffective communication and respecting boundaries are vital in maintaining healthy relationships, avoiding misunderstandings and conflicts.

      Communication and understanding are crucial in maintaining healthy relationships, whether it's between romantic partners or family members. In the first discussion, it seems that the man's behavior towards his girlfriend was erratic and potentially driven by feelings for someone else. The importance of a strong family bond was emphasized, but it's important to remember that assumptions should not be made without clear communication. In the second scenario, a friend's request to remove a necklace on her wedding day became a source of conflict. While the friend's intentions were good, it's essential to respect each other's boundaries and prioritize open dialogue. Ultimately, both situations highlight the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in navigating complex relationships.

    • Respecting others' choices on special daysCommunicate openly, avoid pressure, and respect comfort levels to ensure everyone's special day is enjoyable for all.

      It's important to respect others' choices and boundaries, especially on significant days like weddings. A small issue, like wanting to wear a different necklace, can escalate into a bigger problem if not handled sensitively. It's crucial to communicate openly and avoid putting undue pressure on others. Additionally, everyone has different comfort levels and coping mechanisms, and it's essential to respect that. The incident also highlights the importance of being considerate of others' feelings and avoiding making unreasonable requests that could potentially ruin their special day.

    • Understanding and respecting each other's preferences at weddingsCommunication and consideration are crucial when addressing conflicts at weddings. Focus on the bigger picture, respect each other's priorities, and ensure everyone's comfort and happiness.

      Communication and consideration are key when it comes to weddings and personal belongings. The discussion revolves around a situation where a bridesmaid wanted to wear a necklace given to her as a love gift by her fiancé, but the bride asked her not to. The bridesmaid felt that the necklace was too small to be noticed in the pictures, but the bride saw it as a potential distraction and a way to outshine her on her special day. The conversation also touched upon the importance of understanding each other's preferences and being respectful of each other's feelings. The bridesmaid acknowledged that if she had asked and been denied, she would have accepted the decision and moved on. The bride, on the other hand, emphasized the significance of seeing pictures beforehand and making sure everyone is comfortable and happy on the wedding day. Additionally, the conversation highlighted the importance of focusing on the bigger picture – making sure that everyone, including the families, have a good time and that any potential drama is minimized. The discussion also showed that everyone has different priorities when it comes to weddings and that it's essential to respect those differences and find common ground.

    • Embracing Unconventionality in Content CreationCreating unconventional content can lead to unique and entertaining experiences. It's important to stay true to oneself and take risks in creative pursuits.

      Creativity and a willingness to push boundaries can lead to unique and entertaining content. Drew Afuallo, a content creator, expressed her unconventional approach to her art during a conversation. She shared that she would not hesitate to create unconventional content for someone else's wedding but not her own. Her raw and uncensored humor was appreciated by her audience, and she encouraged them to follow her on various social media platforms, except Instagram, for more of her hilarious content. Drew's unique perspective and fearless approach to creating content are inspiring and serve as a reminder that taking risks and being true to oneself can lead to great rewards. Her TikToks are a testament to this, bringing joy and laughter to many. So, keep an eye out for Drew Afuallo's content, and remember, it's okay to be a little unhinged in your creative pursuits.

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    A blog post on Psychology Today by Frankie Bashan titled "Polyamory: A Practical Guide" provides advice on communication, boundary-setting, and other aspects of polyamorous relationships.

    Finally, Meera Solanki Estrada wrote an article for HuffPost called "Polyamorous Relationships: A Definition of Polyamory, How It Works And Why It's Not All About Sex" which explores common misconceptions about non-monogamy and offers an introduction to the concept of polyamory.

    To conclude, establishing boundaries, agreements, and rules is essential for maintaining respectful and healthy relationships, particularly in the context of ethically non-monogamous relationships. It's critical to understand the distinctions between each of these concepts to avoid misunderstandings, respect personal limits, and negotiate mutual agreements that work for everyone involved. Remember, boundaries are personal limits, agreements are mutual understandings, and rules are external guidelines that should be avoided. The following podcast will discuss navigating toxic relationships and rebuilding trust, so stay tuned. Thank you for listening, and until next time, stay safe, stay respectful, and keep exploring your relationships.

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    Your Relationship with Yourself

    Your Relationship with Yourself

    Did you know that you have a relationship with yourself?  Today we talk about the components of a healthy relationship with yourself and get you thinking about how you can cultivate a happy and healthy relationship with yourself!  We often work on improving our relationships with others and we can use those same components of Communication, Honesty, Trust, Understanding, Respect & Love to enhance our relationship with ourselves.  

    How To Heal Relationships

    How To Heal Relationships
    Truly loving, nurturing and sustainable relationships are not happening for a great many of us. The reasons for this have to do with our ego getting in the way, with our unwillingness to be more thoughtful, tolerant and considerate, with our unwillingness to rise above the battlefield, to release our anger and resentments from the past, to effectively communicate, to negotiate differences and to establish, maintain and respect boundaries. I say unwillingness because although it may be difficult to do these things, we choose not to. Loving relationships are not the result of accidents or luck, they are the result of healthy choices.

    Ep 215 - The DUMBEST Thing Your Partner Has Said?! | SHXTSNGIGS PODCAST

    Ep 215 - The DUMBEST Thing Your Partner Has Said?! | SHXTSNGIGS PODCAST

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    This Week The Guys Discuss:

    0:00, Therapy Sessions

    20:30, Fighting a Leopard

    27:50, Show Recommendations

    39:30, R Kelly Strikes Again

    49:55, Try Not To Laugh

    53:27, Fan Request

    01:04:30, The DUMBEST Thing Your Partner Has Said?!

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    Communication Awesomeness® Principle 2

    Communication Awesomeness® Principle 2

    In this episode, we take a deep dive into Communication Awesomeness® Principle 2: you cannot be successful alone.

    We discuss how trust enables transaction.

    We share three practical ways you can build trust with your colleagues: seek to listen, seek to understand, and seek to engage.

    The "Communication Cake, Anyone?" episode that we refer to in today's episode can be found here: http://communicationsnacks.libsyn.com/communication-cake-anyone You can also find it by searching for the title within your podcast player.

    In our podcasts, we discuss communication tips that will help you stand out, move up, and win more often in a crowded professional world.

    We would love to hear from you! Email your questions or comments to questions [at] ovient [dot] com .

    Want to start a conversation with other listeners on Instagram and Facebook? We are @communicationsnacks

    You can find our book on Amazon at https://amzn.to/2VSAPFn

    If you are interested in learning more about our Communication Awesomeness Coaching program, you can read about it here: http://www.ovient.com/communication-awesomeness-coaching/

    If you are looking for training for yourself or for your team, you can find us at http://www.ovient.com/communication-snacks-podcast/