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    5 Mindfulness Practices for Stress Relief in Any Workplace & 5 Simple Habits to Improve Your Focus

    enMarch 17, 2023
    What external factors can affect our sense of identity?
    How did Jay Shetty's monk experience influence his purpose?
    What does Jay Shetty recommend for stress management?
    What does the acronym TIMES stand for in self-care?
    How can mindfulness breaks benefit individuals during the day?

    Podcast Summary

    • Finding True Purpose Through Self-Mastery and Service to OthersDon't define your identity and purpose solely based on external factors. Focus on self-mastery and serving others to find fulfillment and true purpose in life. Meditation can help you in this journey.

      Jay Shetty talks about how people often tie their sense of purpose and identity to external factors, like their job or marriage.However, losing these things can lead to a sense of loss or even crisis.Shetty recounts how his time as a monk, with a focus on self-mastery and serving others, helped him find his true purpose.He now shares his experience and knowledge of meditation with the world, hoping to help others find their own path to fulfillment.

    • Jay Shetty's Journey from Monk to Modern Day Wisdom ProviderJay Shetty became a monk to learn about living from a spiritual place. Though he eventually left the monastery, he used the lessons he learned to bring practical, modern wisdom to others.

      Jay Shetty wanted to join a monastery because he saw that people living a life of service were almost always living from a spiritual place.When he became a monk, he got a lot of time to purify his ego and work on his own mind.He found a monk he felt an affinity for and studied in his school, where he practiced things like silence, fasting, and service.After three years of being a monk, he realized that he wasn't meant to be a monk for the rest of his life.He felt he wasn't qualified to live the life of a monk and wanted to share the wisdom in a practical and modern way.

    • From Monk to Purpose: The Journey and Lessons of Jay ShettyOur purpose is not defined by external factors like our job or what others think of us. Adopting practices like meditation and routine can help manage stress and unlock our true purpose.

      Jay Shetty's journey from becoming a monk to finding his true purpose is a great lesson.He learned that our identity should not be based on external factors like our job or marriage.Our purpose is not about what we wear, where we live, or what others think of us.He realized that the principles he learned as a monk could help him get out of his depression.He started meditating, reading scripture, and putting in the same routines he had as a monk.He started coaching people inside big corporate organizations to help them manage stress.Meditation is a game-changer, and it can be practical for people from all backgrounds and walks of life.

    • The Benefits of Meditation and Breath Work for Your Well-BeingMeditation and breath work can improve your mood, immune system, sleep, and help reduce anxiety, stress, and pressure. By creating serotonin and oxytocin, they balance dopamine, and breath work can also aid in managing emotional and physical challenges.

      Meditation has many benefits, including boosting your mood and immune system, balancing the chemicals in your brain, improving sleep, and reducing anxiety, stress, and pressure.Dopamine is constantly released in our lives through technology and instant gratification, but meditation creates serotonin and oxytocin to balance it out.Learning how to breathe is also crucial in navigating through life, as every emotion is connected to our breath.Breath work can also help with challenges like long covid or breathing difficulties.Meditation and breath work are valuable skills that can improve your overall well-being.

    • The Three Components of Meditation: Breath Work, Visualization, and Mantra or Sound.Meditation is about spending time with yourself, building a habit, and bringing your body and mind into alignment. It helps with reducing workplace stress and makes you feel present and powerful.

      Meditation is making time to spend with yourself.It's bringing your awareness to three different types of things: breath work, visualization, and mantra or sound.It doesn't matter where or how you're sitting.The point is to build a practice and a habit.When you meditate, you are bringing your body and mind into alignment.You feel like you're sinking and everything goes still for a moment.Meditation helps with stress at work by reducing pressures and the feeling of "I can't take this anymore." It can make you feel like you're actually present and powerful, and helps you focus on the present moment.

    • Finding Purpose and Meaning in Challenging JobsBy shifting our perspective on work and looking for ways to positively impact others, we can find purpose and meaning even in difficult or mundane jobs. Being present in the moment and open to change can lead to new opportunities for making a difference.

      It's important to be present in the moment, even at work or during difficult jobs.By setting a different intention and looking at our work in a way that helps impact someone's life, we can find meaning and purpose in our jobs.It's also important to remember that changing the way we look at things can change the things we look at.This can help us find opportunities to reach out to others and help make a difference in their lives, even if our jobs seem mundane or challenging.

    • Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Finding Success on YouTubeDon't let your doubts hold you back. Take action on your passions and believe in yourself. Success can come from unexpected places when you're doing what you love and serving others.

      Jay Shetty initially had a limiting belief that starting a YouTube channel would not work for him.However, he remembered a quote from Thomas Edison that said, "When you believe you've exhausted all options, remember this, you haven't." Jay decided to make videos and post them on YouTube, and after three months, Ariana Huffington saw them and asked to post them on the Huffington Post page.Jay agreed, even though there was no payment involved.The first video got a million views in a week, and the following videos received over a hundred million views that year.This led to a job offer to work as a senior host and producer for HuffPost, which lasted for six months.Even though people doubted him, Jay did it for love and always wanted to serve and reach more people.

    • Building Meaningful Relationships and Pursuing Passions with Positive IntentionsPursuing your passion with a positive intention and building relationships can lead to greater opportunities and meaningful connections. It is important to approach each interaction with an open mind and heart.

      Jay Shetty talks about his journey in starting his podcast and how he faced rejection from many guests before eventually booking Russell Brand and Novak Djokovic.He also reflects on his interview with the late Kobe Bryant and how Bryant's presence was as grounding as a monk.Shetty also shares how his relationship with Will and Jada Pinkett Smith began from a God-centered intention and their mutual curiosity to understand different religions.The key takeaway is that building relationships and pursuing one's passions with a positive intention can lead to meaningful connections and opportunities.

    • Tips for Achieving Mindfulness and BalanceStart with a feasible 1-minute meditation practice, gradually increase time each month, engage all senses, and balance social media usage with mental health. Prioritize your well-being and understand that not everyone will comprehend your intentions.

      When it comes to meditation, start with the amount of time that feels achievable for you, even if it's just one minute, and commit to gradually increasing the time each month.Engage all your senses when meditating, such as using beads to help you focus on the mantra.Therapy helps untangle the past, while coaching helps build the future.Balancing social media with mental health can be challenging, but with technology constantly evolving, it's important to have a purpose and intention for your presence on social media.Ultimately, prioritize your own well-being and be okay with not everyone understanding your intentions.

    • Jay Shetty's Advice on Using Social Media Wisely and Practicing Everyday Mental HealthTake control of your social media usage, limit it especially in the morning. Try Jay Shetty's free everyday mental health practices called TIMES; thankfulness, inspiration, meditation, exercise, and service. Start with an inspiring thought or quote to improve your mindset.

      Jay Shetty believes that social media is moving too fast and gone too far, but he doesn't try to work against it.Instead, he focuses on giving people alternatives to what they consume on social media by providing them with choices.He suggests using social media wisely and limiting its usage, especially in the morning.Shetty recommends five free everyday mental health practices called TIMES, which includes thankfulness, inspiration, meditation, exercise, and service.According to Shetty, people should be specific and personalized while expressing gratitude to others.Moreover, he suggests starting the day with an inspiring thought or quote to improve one's mindset.

    • Prioritizing Physical and Mental Health with TIMESIncorporating mindfulness and prioritizing quality sleep can greatly improve overall well-being. Use the TIMES acronym (Thankfulness, Inspiration, Meditation, Exercise, and Sleep) to take care of your physical and mental health.

      Jay Shetty emphasizes the importance of taking care of our physical and mental health by following the acronym TIMES: Thankfulness, Inspiration, Meditation, Exercise, and Sleep.He recommends prioritizing sleep, as the human growth hormone is most active before midnight, and quality sleep can greatly improve overall well-being.He also leads a one-minute meditation exercise, encouraging people to take a moment to be present and aware of their surroundings.Shetty believes that incorporating mindfulness breaks throughout the day can greatly benefit individuals, allowing them to reduce stress and improve focus.

    Recent Episodes from On Purpose with Jay Shetty

    8 Reasons Why Traveling Alone is the Ultimate Path to Self-Discovery & Why You Should Take a Solo Trip

    8 Reasons Why Traveling Alone is the Ultimate Path to Self-Discovery & Why You Should Take a Solo Trip

    Have you ever thought about taking a solo trip?

    What do you think you'd learn about yourself if you traveled alone?

    Today, Jay unpacks the unexpected benefits of solo travel. Whether you’re an avid traveler or someone hesitant to step out of your comfort zone, traveling alone, even just once, can be one of the most powerful experiences of your life. 

    Jay explains how solo travel helps break free from the “herd mentality”—when we defer to the preferences of those around us—and instead allows us to deeply understand our own desires and needs. You’ll learn how traveling alone can expand your worldview, teach self-reliance, and push you to explore not just new places but new aspects of yourself.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to Expand Your Worldview 

    How to Boost Self-Reliance

    How to Connect with New People and Cultures

    How to Build Confidence Through Solo Travel

    Whether you're seeking new perspectives or personal growth, traveling alone can be a powerful tool to reconnect with your true self.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:48 Do You Need to Go on a Solo Trip?

    04:50 #1: Learn More About Yourself

    11:10 #2: Improve Your Confidence

    13:43 #3: Expand Your Worldview 

    16:53 #4: Develop Self-Reliance

    19:49 #5: Master Your Mind

    21:54 #6: Beat Boredom and Distraction

    23:09 #7: Vigilance

    24:55 #8: Get to Know Diverse People

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    On Purpose with Jay Shetty
    enSeptember 13, 2024

    Nicole LePera: How to Break the Cycle of Trauma Bonds & Stop Toxic Relationship Habits

    Nicole LePera: How to Break the Cycle of Trauma Bonds & Stop Toxic Relationship Habits

    What are your emotional needs?

    How do you communicate them clearly?

    Today, Jay welcomes back Dr. Nicole LePera, a holistic psychologist, best-selling author, and founder of the SelfHealers Circle, a global community for self-healing. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller "How to Do the Work," and her latest book, "How to Be the Love You Seek," guides readers on breaking cycles, finding peace, and healing relationships. Dr. LePera is known for her approachable, transformative approach to mental wellness, empowering individuals to heal themselves and live authentically.

    Nicole talks about how our earliest experiences shape our adult relationships. She explains the concept of trauma bonds—dysfunctional patterns that often stem from childhood but persist into adulthood, affecting how we connect with others. These bonds can feel familiar and even comforting, but they often prevent us from forming healthy, fulfilling relationships.

    Jay and Nicole explore how awareness is the first step toward breaking these patterns. They emphasize the importance of understanding our subconscious beliefs and the roles we play in relationships, often unknowingly repeating cycles of pain and misunderstanding. She talks about the importance of staying present, learning to regulate our emotions, and building healthier habits that align with our true selves, and offers practical advice on how to navigate the complexities of love, whether it's setting boundaries with toxic family members or letting go of unrealistic expectations in romantic relationships.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to recognize trauma bonds

    How to break the cycle of reactivity

    How to set healthy boundaries

    How to cultivate self-awareness

    How to develop emotional resilience

    How to foster a growth mindset in relationships

    Remember, every moment is an opportunity to choose differently, to show up for ourselves with kindness, and to build the relationships we truly deserve.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 03:44 You Create Change
    • 06:58 Toxic Family Members
    • 11:21 Change is Voluntary
    • 14:33 Deep Rooted Emotions
    • 18:35 Why We Struggle in Relationships
    • 22:58 The Unmet Needs
    • 27:27 We Project What We Think to Others
    • 34:29 Familiarity with Chaos
    • 38:18 Is It Genuine Love?
    • 41:55 Panic Attack
    • 48:54 Chronic Illness
    • 53:54 Countering Beliefs
    • 57:17 Physiological Shifts
    • 01:01:11 What is a Trauma Bond?
    • 01:04:25 Attraction Based on Familiarity
    • 01:06:24 Inner Child Work
    • 01:09:41 The Habit of Showing Up Authentically

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    On Purpose with Jay Shetty
    enSeptember 09, 2024

    12 Hard Lessons I Learned In The Last 12 Months - Birthday Special

    12 Hard Lessons I Learned In The Last 12 Months - Birthday Special

    What lessons have you learned from your past 12 months?

    How have your goals evolved over the past months?

    Today, Jay reflects on the 12 key lessons he has learned over the past year. He begins by discussing the idea that the seeds we plant—our actions and intentions—manifest as either flowers or weeds, the importance of pursuing meaningful actions for personal fulfillment rather than external validation, and how to distinguish between setting goals and choosing growth, underscoring that genuine progress requires a commitment to personal development rather than simply aiming for outcomes.

    The episode highlights the importance of protecting one's purpose from external distractions and maintaining a clear focus on one's path, the challenges we face as opportunities to grow into who we're meant to be, and the concept of defining experiences proactively to shape our own narratives rather than letting circumstances dictate our identities.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to handle envy with love

    How to act for fulfillment, not praise

    How to focus on growth, not just goals

    How to guard your purpose from distractions

    How to use challenges to evolve

    How to stay open to unexpected help

    Stay open to the unexpected, protect your passions, and choose growth over comfort. By doing so, you not only transform your own life but also inspire those around you to do the same.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    02:29 Lessons Learned in the Past 12 Months

    03:50 #1: The seeds you planted in the past will grow into flowers or weeds today.

    07:08 #2: Envy will erode your life.

    10:27 #3: People forget things quickly, do the right thing and what's meaningful to you.

    13:06 #4: Everyone sets goals, not everyone chooses growth.

    15:00 #5: Don't let anyone deter you from your purpose.

    16:45 #6: Your challenge is designed for you to become who you're meant to become.

    18:37 #7: You'll let things define you if you don't define them first.

    19:35 #8: Help can come from unlikely sources in unlikely ways.

    21:34 #9: Try to see things as an invitation, not an impediment. 

    24:07 #10: Sometimes to get to your dreams, you have to take the stairs, the elevator, or come through the roof.

    25:17 #11: The people you leave behind will feel left behind no matter what you do.

    26:35 #12 Love is not enough.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    On Purpose with Jay Shetty
    enSeptember 06, 2024

    Nicky Jam: How to Forgive Yourself From the Past & Free Yourself From Shame and Trauma

    Nicky Jam: How to Forgive Yourself From the Past & Free Yourself From Shame and Trauma

    Are you struggling to overcome your past trauma?

    Are you looking for ways to heal from it?

    Today, Jay sits down with renowned reggaeton artist and songwriter Nicky Jam. Nicky's music career took off after a series of successful mixtapes and collaborations with other artists, including Daddy Yankee, with whom he formed the iconic duo Los Cangris. His work has earned him international fame and multiple awards, establishing him as a major influence in the reggaeton and Latin trap genres. 

    Nicky recounts his first foray into music, packing groceries and freestyling at a supermarket, which inadvertently launched his career despite his young age and the informal nature of his work. He opens up about the difficulties of his upbringing, including his mother’s struggle with substance abuse and prostitution, shaping his understanding of normalcy and family life. This background set the stage for his initial break into the music industry, where early rejections and setbacks paved the way for his eventual success in the Puerto Rican mixtape scene and beyond.

    Together with Jay, Nicky also discusses the challenges of maintaining authenticity and personal happiness amidst fame, expressing discomfort with being seen as a role model and emphasizing the importance of understanding and support for mental health, especially for men in the public eye. Despite ongoing struggles with PTSD, anxiety, and the scars of his traumatic past, Nicky remains hopeful and driven, looking forward to continuing his career and making a positive impact through his work and personal experiences.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to handle early setbacks

    How to deal with the pressure of expectations

    How to use personal struggles as a source of strength

    How to maintain creativity under pressure

    How to find redemption through new opportunities

    How to help others through your work

    Nicky's story demonstrates that with unwavering determination and a genuine approach, it's possible to transform challenging beginnings into legacies of success and enduring influence.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 03:12 Earliest Childhood Memory
    • 04:06 First Deal
    • 06:44 I Was Happy with the Album
    • 08:15 Life on the Streets
    • 12:06 There’s a Different World Out There
    • 15:22 Looking for Billy
    • 17:20 Simpler or Complicated Life?
    • 19:05 Commands Don’t Work on Me
    • 24:58 Battling Alcohol Addiction
    • 31:06 Drug and Alcohol Problem
    • 34:20 Finding Help
    • 36:40 Feeling Alone
    • 39:18 Almost Dying
    • 42:52 Prison Life
    • 45:59 Moving to Columbia
    • 52:00 My Mom is Different
    • 54:48 Do You Pray a Lot?
    • 58:01 Reconciliation
    • 59:49 Forgiveness
    • 01:05:31 I’m not Retiring
    • 01:09:24 My Album is My Story
    • 01:10:11 Some Misunderstanding People Have
    • 01:12:37 Surgery and Recovery
    • 01:13:46 Talking is Therapy
    • 01:15:12 Nicky on Fast Five

    Episode Resources:

    Dubbed by ElevenLabs and this link: https://elevenlabs.io/jay_shetty

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    On Purpose with Jay Shetty
    enSeptember 02, 2024

    10 Proven Strategies to Boost Productivity & Create a Clear Plan for Achieving Your Goals

    10 Proven Strategies to Boost Productivity & Create a Clear Plan for Achieving Your Goals

    Do you feel unproductive?

    How can you boost your daily productivity?

    Today, Jay talks about how to become productive without feeling burned out. In a world where productivity often leads to burnout, Jay offers practical and transformative strategies to help you achieve more while reducing stress. Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by an endless to-do list or struggling to manage your time effectively, this episode provides the tools you need to reclaim your focus and energy. 

    Jay shares the importance of creating a workspace that fuels productivity and how subtle changes, like scent and sound, can enhance your environment. He also highlights the significance of workplace trust and how identifying whether an issue is people- or system-related can save you time and energy. He wraps up with insights on "monk mode," a method to achieve deep focus in the midst of distractions, and encourages listeners to experiment with these principles to find what works best for them..

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to focus on one task at a time for better productivity

    How to identify key drivers of success 

    How to lean into your momentum for maximum output

    How to use a 'to start' list instead of a to-do list

    Tune in to discover how to be productive without compromising your well-being, and walk away with actionable tips that you can implement immediately. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    02:29 Burnt Out Already?

    04:03 Tip #1: Doing One Thing at a Time

    10:10 Tip #2: Clean Your External Space

    12:40 Tip #3: Create a To-Start-List

    14:17 Tip #4: Give Yourself Positive Validation of Task Completion

    18:51 Tip #5: No Email Until 10AM

    19:47 Tip #6: Goal of the Day, Goal of the Week

    22:03 Tip #7: Know When is Your Most Productive Time

    23:41 Tip #8: Create a Space of Workplace Trust

    26:21 Tip #9: Focus on What’s Causing Success or Failure

    27:42 Tip #10: Lock Into Your Task

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life

    Chris Voss: #1 Secret Formula FBI Negotiators Use To Always Get What They Want & 4 Ways to Apply These Tactics to Your Life

    What's a simple negotiation trick you can try today?

    How can you get better at persuading others?

    Today, Jay welcomes former FBI lead international kidnapping negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference", Chris Voss. He is renowned for his innovative negotiation strategies that emphasize empathy, emotional intelligence, and tactical communication. After retiring from the FBI, Voss founded The Black Swan Group, a consultancy firm that provides negotiation training for businesses and individuals. He is also a popular speaker and has taught negotiation at various business schools.

    Chris discusses his journey from being on a SWAT team to becoming a lead FBI negotiator. He shares that his career path changed after a knee injury and his growing interest in crisis response led him to hostage negotiation where he found the work more satisfying than his previous roles, emphasizing the importance of decisive action in crises.

    Chris and Jay discuss how human beings are naturally wired to be negative as a survival mechanism, which impacts negotiations. He reframes negotiation as a collaborative process rather than a confrontational one and suggests that effective negotiation often goes unnoticed because it looks like seamless collaboration. They also talk about gender dynamics in negotiation, with Voss providing advice on how women can better negotiate in environments where they might be undervalued.  

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to calm tense talks

    How to negotiate with narcissists

    How to disarm aggression

    How to foster collaboration

    How to build rapport

    In any situation, effective negotiation is not about winning at all costs but about creating a shared path forward that benefits everyone involved. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 01:23 Becoming a Lead Negotiator
    • 04:08 Suicide Hotline Conversations
    • 08:03 Labeling the Negative Emotions
    • 09:35 Negotiation Isn’t a Form of Conflict
    • 14:59 How to Get Someone to Collaborate with You?
    • 21:15 How Do You Slow Down?
    • 25:10 How Do You Prepare for a Negotiation?
    • 29:54 Biggest Negotiation Mistakes
    • 31:42 Always Look for the Patterns
    • 40:20 Used and Taken Advantage Of
    • 44:21 The Illusion of Control
    • 46:17 What’s Your Intention?
    • 48:37 How to Negotiate a Better Salary?
    • 50:49 Reward Strategy in the Workplace
    • 53:33 Negotiating Unfulfilled Salary Raise 
    • 58:57 How Can Women Negotiate Better?
    • 01:00:57 Negotiations That Don’t End with a Deal
    • 01:05:03 Work with the ELFs
    • 01:11:05 Polite Boundary Setting
    • 01:16:29 How to Not Be Emotional When Negotiating
    • 01:22:08 Are You in the Right Relationship?
    • 01:25:55 Respecting Other People’s Values
    • 01:30:52 Tactical Empathy Documentary
    • 01:34:01 Chris on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    They Weren't The One For You and That's Ok (8 Steps to Breakthrough Heartbreak)

    They Weren't The One For You and That's Ok (8 Steps to Breakthrough Heartbreak)

    How did you realize they weren't the one for you?

    How did you cope with the heartbreak?

    Today shares a detailed exploration of the emotional journey involved in recognizing and accepting that someone you once believed was "the one" for you, wasn't actually the right person. Often, it’s common for people to convince themselves that someone is the perfect partner, even before that person has committed or shown signs of being a suitable match. This can lead to heartbreak when the relationship fails, but  it’s okay because the person wasn't truly right for them either.

    Jay also discusses the importance of understanding whether the person was truly healed from past wounds or whether they were presenting a version of themselves that wasn’t authentic. Consider the idea that sometimes people stay in relationships out of fear of being alone rather than genuine love or connection. And if a partner is unable or unwilling to engage in meaningful conversations, they might not be the right person.

    In this episode you'll learn:

    How to recognize when someone isn't right for you

    How to focus on your partner's reality, not ideals

    How to prioritize meaningful conversations

    How to stay self-aware after a breakup

    How to balance emotions in a relationship

    Remember, it's okay if someone wasn't the one for you—what matters most is that you remain true to yourself and continue to seek the love and connection you deserve. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:54 They Weren’t For You and That’s Okay

    05:04 #1: When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them

    09:09 #2: They Never Showed Up When It Mattered

    10:55 #3: They’re Still Healing

    12:41 #4: They Kept Saying We Can’t Do This

    16:37 #5: You Were Chasing the Whole Time

    18:53 #6: They Made You Feel Detached

    19:13 #7: You Are More Scared Of Being Alone Than Be With Them 

    20:58 #8: They Couldn’t Open Up in Meaningful Conversations

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Dr. Aliza Pressman: How to Avoid Your Parents Mistakes & Raise Confident and Resilient Kids

    Dr. Aliza Pressman: How to Avoid Your Parents Mistakes & Raise Confident and Resilient Kids

    How do you help your children build confidence?

    How do you teach your kids to be resilient?

    Today, Jay welcomes Dr. Aliza Pressman. Aliza is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and healthcare providers. She is the host of the Raising Good Humans podcast and an expert in parenting strategies and child development. Dr. Pressman is also the author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, where she offers practical advice and insights for parents looking to raise emotionally resilient and well-rounded children. 

    Aliza begins by discussing whether everyone should become a parent and emphasizes the importance of being intentional and reflective before making that decision. She suggests that potential parents should think about their own values and how they want to approach parenting. She explains that having a strong, secure bond with a child is crucial for their development and that this bond can evolve over time, even if there have been mistakes along the way. 

    Some children are more sensitive and require a specific environment to thrive, while others are more adaptable. She encourages parents to be mindful of their child’s unique needs. The discussion moves on to discipline and encouragement. Dr. Pressman suggests that discipline should focus on teaching rather than punishing, with clear boundaries set for the child’s safety and well-being. When it comes to building confidence, she emphasizes that helping children develop skills (competence) is more effective than simply giving praise.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to handle parenting guilt and shame

    How to set boundaries for your child

    How to build your child’s confidence

    How to discipline effectively

    How to foster independence in your child

    How to build a secure attachment with your child

    By focusing on building secure attachments, setting clear boundaries, and fostering independence, parents can create a nurturing environment where their children can thrive. 

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 02:57 Should Everyone Be a Parent?
    • 04:29 How Do We Get to Be Who We Are?
    • 05:50 Secure Attachment Relationship
    • 07:15 Feeling of Guilt and Shame as a Parent
    • 11:07 Tiny Moments to Build Resilience
    • 15:31 The Tendency to Overcorrect
    • 17:03 What is Effective Reflection?
    • 21:44 Learn to Reflect with Your Children
    • 26:31 Failure as a Parent
    • 31:14 Different Forms of Communication with Children
    • 35:10 What is the Right Approach to Discipline?
    • 39:10 Three Parenting Styles 
    • 41:36 Tension and Rejection Can Be a Motivation
    • 45:34 Dealing with a Child Who Doesn’t Want to Open Up
    • 50:12 Your Presence is Important
    • 51:46 How to Have a Social Media Conversation?
    • 57:12 How to Raise a Confident Human?
    • 01:01:40 Allow Kids to Showcase What They Learned
    • 01:05:53 Adults Can Work on Themselves
    • 01:07:23 Aliza on Final Five

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    6 Steps to Detox from Your Phone & Reduce Your Anxiety Levels

    6 Steps to Detox from Your Phone & Reduce Your Anxiety Levels

    How often do you check your phone daily?

    Do you feel anxious when you’re away from your phone?

    Today, Jay addresses the growing concern of excessive phone and internet usage, exploring its detrimental effects on mental and physical health. He begins by explaining how activities like swiping, liking, and commenting on social media provide our brains with dopamine hits, which can create a cycle of dependency and compulsive behavior. Despite the benefits of technology, such as increased connectivity and access to information, many people feel less connected and more distracted, anxious, and impatient.

    Jay elaborates on the neurological aspects of dopamine and its role in pleasure-seeking behaviors, emphasizing that problems arise when we expect constant rewards from our online activities. He draws parallels between the brain's response to food and its response to digital consumption, advocating for a balanced approach that avoids overindulgence in either.

    In this episode, you'll learn:

    How to become more conscious of your internet use

    How to have wifi-free meals

    How to replace morning phone use with healthier habits

    How to stay mindful when using technology

    How to engage in a cell phone detox

    The ultimate goal is to create a healthier, more intentional relationship with technology, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    00:00 Intro

    01:46 On Your Phone All the Time?

    05:32 Losing Control Over Phone Use

    06:19 Six Steps to Phone Detox

    07:01 Dopamine

    11:23 People Aren’t As Happy As Before

    13:39 How Often Do You Check Your Phone?

    14:27 Cortisol

    17:26 Step 1: Become More Conscious

    19:19 Step 2: Wait an Hour Before Going Online

    21:18 Step 3: The WiFi-Free Meal

    23:45 Step 4: Watch What You Consume Online

    24:54 Step 5: Limit Potions

    25:48 Step 6: Intermittent Fasting

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Alexis Ren & Allie Michelle: 3 Ways to Stop Putting a Guard up in Love & Why You Need to Change Your Mindset On What Success Means in Dating

    Alexis Ren & Allie Michelle: 3 Ways to Stop Putting a Guard up in Love & Why You Need to Change Your Mindset On What Success Means in Dating

    How can you start letting your guard down in love?

    How can you become more open and vulnerable in your relationships?

    Today, let's welcome Alexis Ren and Allie Michelle. Alexis is a model, entrepreneur, and social media influencer with over 18 million followers on Instagram. Known for her advocacy of mental health and self-empowerment, Alexis has leveraged her platform to promote wellness and personal growth. She is also the co-founder of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. 

    Allie is a bestselling author, spoken word artist, and certified yoga, breathwork, meditation, Reiki, and craniosacral therapist. She is passionate about holistic health and personal development, which she incorporates into her work. The duo are the co-founders of "We Are Warriors," a female-driven wellness community focused on fostering self-love, strength, and growth among women worldwide. 

    Alexis and Allie's friendship began when they were preteens and they share how their relationship has been a cornerstone of their personal growth, providing mutual support through life's challenges. A significant turning point in their friendship occurred when Alexis's mother passed away, leading to Allie’s family adopting Alexis. 

    A significant theme throughout the discussion is the balance of masculine and feminine energies, which Alexis and Allie explore in depth. They describe how these energies play out in their lives and work, with Alexis often taking on a more masculine, action-oriented role, while Allie embodies a more feminine, intuitive approach. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and honoring both energies within oneself and in others, as this balance has been crucial in their personal and professional lives.

    Alexis and Allie also address the societal pressures that women face, particularly around beauty standards and career expectations. Both women emphasize the importance of breaking free from limiting beliefs and societal expectations to find deeper fulfillment and authenticity.

    In this interview, you'll learn:

    How to support a friend

    How to manage criticism

    How to build a strong friendship

    How to stay authentic

    How to handle creative blocks

    How to empower others

    Embrace the balance of your masculine and feminine energies, break free from societal expectations, and empower each other to thrive on the journey to self-discovery and growth.

    With Love and Gratitude,

    Jay Shetty

    What We Discuss:

    • 00:00 Intro
    • 03:38 Beginning of a Friendship 
    • 08:25 Growing Together Independently
    • 10:21 Going Through Big and Small Changes
    • 15:19 Creative and Emotional Intelligence
    • 18:30 Validating and Complimenting Each Other 
    • 21:59 Types of Archetypes
    • 27:18 What's Holding Women Back?
    • 29:46 Start Embracing Your Feminine Energy
    • 33:38 Why Did It Trigger You?
    • 41:00 How to Prepare for Life
    • 45:23 Living an Internally Peaceful Life
    • 52:44 Balance Between Masculine and Feminine Energy
    • 01:02:25 Dealing with the Imbalance in Your Energy
    • 01:07:00 You Can Do Uncomfortable Things
    • 01:10:16 The Best Journaling Practice
    • 01:14:39 Speak to Your Subconscious
    • 01:16:55 Try Leaning Into the Moment
    • 01:23:27 Relationship Checklist 
    • 01:28:38 Alexis and Allie on Final Five 
    • 01:37:46 Giving Each Other the Grace of Change

    Episode Resources:

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Related Episodes

    EP24: Demystifying Meditation with Sarah McLean

    EP24: Demystifying Meditation with Sarah McLean

    Summary

    In today’s episode, with the help of Sarah McLean, the owner of the McLean Meditation Institute, my personal teacher, and a woman with an unusual and exciting background, we will demystify meditation.  There are so many brands and types of meditation out there; it can be downright confusing. The important thing is to understand a bit, not make it too hard, and, most importantly, do not delay your practice! Without practice, you are missing all the amazing benefits of meditation. 

    Sarah’s joining us from Santa Barbara, California, and will tell you her journey to demystify meditation.  She will tell you tales of her time in the Army, in an ashram in India, and travels on a nine-month mountain bike trek through faraway lands. She will touch on many experiences from Transcendental Meditation, working with Deepak Chopra to ah-ha moments on a rooftop in Georgetown, DC. She did all the work, and we all benefit from her discoveries.

    On last week’s show, we talked about three things to make your meditation a slam dunk: desire, focus, and a nonjudgmental attitude (which I learned long ago from Sarah herself.) This episode is perfect timing because Sarah will take those three things and go deeper as she unravels the mysteries of meditation.

    My suggestion is to listen intently but listen gently, like the awareness of breath in meditation. You know you are breathing but get lost in the beauty of its simplicity. Do not control or change; just follow and enjoy.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Podcast 

    Hey there, Alexa Z here! I am so excited and a little nervous because I have Sarah McLean, my meditation teacher, on the line. She is kind enough to take time out of her busy schedule to help me, help you demystify meditation, specifically the different types/brands of meditation.  

    I found Sarah after many years of meditating. I started meditating when I was 17 years old because I had terrible panic attacks. Meditation was a pill for me. I wish I could go back and start again; I would because now I know all the opportunities meditation has provided me, and I would have had a more consistent practice from the start. 

    Alexa: I want to welcome Sarah! Again, I am a little nervous and excited. This will be a fun back and forth conversation. I am also a bit jealous because I know you are in Santa Barbara, California, and the weather is a lot nicer than the rain, drizzle, and cold here in Annapolis, Maryland.  

    Sarah: Well, it is a bit like heaven on earth, sorry to make you jealous. Maybe we can practice Mudita, which is sympathetic joy, I hope you can feel happy for me, that I get to live in Santa Barbara after trying to convince my husband to move here for 17 years. It's great to be here, and Maryland is not too shabby. 

    Alexa: No, it isn't, and knowing that I can visit and take more classes at your new meditation center with you in Santa Barbara, makes me super happy. So let's, get right into it. Let's demystify meditation. The reason why this came to mind is that my students, clients, and even strangers come to me and say they have been studying meditation but have not started their practice. Typically, they say they are waiting for a particular time in there life to begin meditating or that they need to continue to learn about meditation before starting a practice. Sarah, what do you think about all of this. Why is it so confusing?

    Sarah: There are so many different types, categories of meditation 

    • Uses
    • Formal and informal
    • Religious, historical origin
    • Different names in other languages
    • Brand new/Brand names

    I'll share a little bit about my story and how I got into meditation. More importantly, how I realized I did not know anything about meditation.  

    Alexa: Oh, that's perfect!

    Sarah: When I was younger, I was in the military. I wanted to be a spy, but that didn't work out. I wanted to understand the mysteries of life. I did not become a spy; instead, I became a behavioral specialist; that's when I started to learn the mysteries of the mind. I worked with Soldiers who suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders (PTSD). Back then, we used medication versus meditation. Luckily for me, I was introduced to a body awareness practice. I was sitting outside of a psychiatric hospital, where, unfortunately, that's where many Soldiers who were really suffering would end up. Our whole platoon was sitting out on the lawn when one of the male nurses introduced me to a body scan. He had us all laydown, and he guided us from our head to our toes, allowing us to relax. It was only about 10 minutes. In the end, I realized that I worked with very stressed Soldiers, and I didn't even realize the amount of stress I was carrying. That moment planted a seed in me. After I got out of the Army, I looked into contemplative practices. I spent a lot of time exploring world traditions, looking for the secrets of life. I was on my mountain bike for about nine months and bicycled half-way around the world. I kept looking for the answers. I found it when I was sitting in my room in Georgetown, Washington, D.C. I was on the top of a three-story of a brownstone, learning to meditate using a silent mantra practice, through Transcendental Meditation (TM). Again, there was a contrast on how I felt before I learned, and after I silently repeated a mantra that I had no idea what it meant. It was another "ah-ha" moment.

    A few months after that, I moved to a TM community. I answered the phones and discussed mind, body, health. I was working with Deepak Chopra, who, at the time, no one was familiar with. People were looking for alternative practices and alternative healing. Many people would seek our help because of health reasons such as chemotherapy didn't work, diagnosed with Parkinson's, or depressed. I would ask all who called, "do you meditate?" They would answer with, yes, while I am watching TV, driving to work, or in the shower. I would have to convince them all to learn to meditate because meditation was required to be in the TM community. In 1990, meditation was not a "buzz word." No one talked about mindfulness. People would come to the community, and I would teach them about meditation. Unfortunately, at the time, I thought there was only one way to meditate. Though I had that great experience with the body scan, I was still "drinking the kool-aid" on the brand name of TM. So even when someone told me they were Upasana, insight, or mindfulness, or a different type of meditation, I wouldn't give it much credit.  

    Alexa: I have known you for a long time, and I have heard all your stories, but it is so fun to listen to it in order; it's starting to make so much sense to me. I have a lot of military people in this town, and a lot of military people listen to my podcast. I want everyone to take note that Sarah started her journey with meditation in the Army. How long ago was that?

    Sarah: It was 1980/1981. It was only done by a rouge male nurse, who felt the need to take us aside and try the body awareness practice. Meditation was not mandated to be a part of our training.  

    Alexa: It still isn't mandated, but it is interesting that you initially thought you would become a spy, you ended up learning about body scans. A lot of meditators feel that we can't be a meditator unless I do what Sarah does, go all those places, learn all those things. You taught me through your experiences that I can learn, and I don't have to live in an ashram for years. I am really grateful for that!

    Sarah: You are welcome!

    Alexa: Thank you for doing all the learning for all of us. 

    Sarah: I wasn't the mainstream kind of gal, I didn't want just to get married and have kids, get a job, and retire. My motivation in life was, can I find out the mysteries of this existence? What is it that animates all of creation? I know I am a little weird, but that was what was right for me.  

    I have to fast-forward after working and being in the TM organization for years. I won't go into the whole story, as you can google it. Deepak Chopra and I got kicked out of TM. Getting kicked out of an organization tells me one thing, that is that it is exclusive, not inclusive. How can you get kicked out of a meditation organization?! Well, some ways are to change your guru, changing your job, or changes that some tell you not to, but you do it anyway. I am in good company, so is Deepak Chopra. There is also Ravi Shankar, who does the Art of Living program. Many have been "kicked out" of TM. That was a warning for me, how can TM be a great organization? TM practice is a great practice.

    After I left the TM organization, I went to California with Deepak in 1992/1993. We opened up a health center. He came up with his practice, which was also a silent practice that is not TM. Deepak's practice is called Primordial Sound Meditation. I started to learn that there are a variety of practices available and they all work. You can stare at the sky, a fire, etc. to use as your object of meditation. 

    There are so many types of meditation. 

    • Zen Buddist Tradition
      • paying attention to your breath
      • counting your breath
      • asking yourself questions that stopped the mind
    • walking meditation
    • imagination meditation

    Scientists are researching meditation. I have been a research subject in a few studies. Scientists have a hard time differentiating the different types of meditation. Here are a few ways that I categorize mediation:

    • Focus awareness/concentration meditation
    • Open awareness meditation- Advanced practices
    • Guided meditation
    • Imagery meditation

    When I was in India, I learned more about meditation.  

    • Guru
    • Eat, pray, love
    • Chanting
    • Devotion

    After India, I moved into a Zen Buddist Monastery. I wanted to give up the whole notion of devotion and move into emptiness.  

    I want to share the basics of meditation. You went into meditation because you wanted to get rid of your anxiety. I went into meditation because I had a very stressful childhood, and I also suffered from panic attacks. I wanted to feel that life mattered, I mattered, and a deep sense of love.  

    There are three basic ingredients to any type of meditation. 

    [Sarah discusses in detail the below]

    • Your intention
    • Attention
    • What you are paying attention to:
    • something you hear
      • sound-based meditation
    • something you see
      • visual-based meditation
    • something you sense
      • feeling/emotion
      • moving
      • stillness

    Alexa: My listeners might still be a little unsure of where to start. When you talked about focused awareness and open awareness; I compare it to a camera, am I zooming in or am taking a wide-angled, panorama picture. I want to go back to the three things that you taught me, going back to desire, non-judgemental attitude, and focus. Sarah, I started feeling over-whelmed when I didn't have a focus. When I read your book, Soul-centered: Transform your life in 8 weeks with meditation, before knowing you, you helped me simplify meditation. Thank God, science now says we have a body, a mind, and an energy system, and neuroplasticity does exist. Sarah, I am sure you will agree with me, when science proved that neuroplasticity exists, that's when meditation became popular. Sarah, what are your thoughts?

    Sarah: Meditation is not difficult, but you do have to set yourself up to succeed. When I was writing that book, I tried to deconstruct meditation. First off, you have to recognize that many people will say that you have to clear your mind to meditate. The minute I close my eyes, my default neuro network comes in, I start a monologue with myself, and I can't clear my mind. Instead of clearing your mind, you should interrupt the constant activity of the mind by paying attention to a particular object. Yoga is about the union of subject, object. 

    • Subject: You, your consciousness
    • Object: could be:
    • Breath
    • Body movement
    • Behavior
    • Saint
    • Quality of a Saint

    When I was writing that book, it was a ten-week program. Then this study came out about neuroplasticity, neuro meaning nervous system and the brain, and plasticity meaning plastic or flexibility. In 2012, neuroplasticity studies were showing that with meditation, the thickening of the cortex can happen. Meaning you develop new neuro-pathways, new connections that help you to navigate the world more skillfully. Meditation also changes other parts of your brain. Your amygdala, the reactivity center of the brain, lessens its dominance, so you become much more responsive as the executive function of the neocortex start to become more dominant. This all results in the amygdala, "fight or flight" response becomes less apparent. You gain space between stimulus and response. This shows up in meditation as a state, and overtime shows up as traits in the brain.  

    Meditation is a practice. Find the one you like. I used to be very militant due to my time in the military, and I used to think there is only one way to meditate. So, find a practice you like and get in a routine. The best thing to do is to start meditating as soon as you get up in the morning.  

    There are many studies on the different practices of meditation and their benefits. 

    • mindfulness practice - keeps you more engaged
    • Loving-kindness, gratitude practices - cultivate emotions
    • transcending mental activity - direct experience of YOU

    Alexa: If I decided that all this information makes sense and I want to start meditation when I get up tomorrow morning, what should I do?

    Sarah: 

    Gather yourself, welcoming everything, and resisting nothing. 

    Start with 1-2 minutes of mindfulness.

    • Sit down
    • Close your eyes
    • Set yourself up 
      • Turn your phone off
      • Turn music off 
    • Sit up
    • Close your eye or gaze towards your hands/floor
    • Pay attention/observe environment and body
      • Be in the being and not in the doing

    Then, Body Scan

    Choose a focus

    • Start with breath awareness
    • Relaxation Response
    • Refocus

    It's the nature of your mind to think. Your job is to bring your mind back to your focus. 

    [Meditation Practice]

    It does not matter how many times you have to refocus, be kind to yourself, and let go of expectations.  

    Lastly, be sure to determine how long you are going to meditate. 

    Alexa: I would like to wrap up by saying, yes, there are many types of meditation, but don't worry about it and don't feel like you have to learn them all. What Sarah and I say, "just get up and start meditating." The best thing about research is that you are your own best individual subject. Pick a practice, stick with it, and enjoy it. I used the definition of meditation that comes straight from Sarah, "meditation is a practice, it's old, it's new, it's modern, it's ancient, it's all of those things, but it is a training."

    Links:

    Sarah McLean Bio

    Sarah McLean Books

    Alexa Z Meditates

     

     

     

    EP8: Yoga Nidra 101 - Is it Meditation and Why Should I Do It?

    EP8: Yoga Nidra 101 - Is it Meditation and Why Should I Do It?

    SUMMARY

    In this episode, Alexa talks about Yoga Nidra, a yogic practice that some call the sleep meditation or “the art of doing nothing.” It is an ancient technique that helps relieve stress and improve sleep.

     Alexa explains what to expect in a Yoga Nidra class. She explains how people benefit from this practice and how it is different from a seated meditation. She explains what Sankalpa is and talks about the importance of having intention.

    ---------------

    HIGHLIGHTS

    2:16 A little history of Yoga Nidra

    4:50 What to expect in a Yoga Nidra class

    9:10 Who can benefit?

    13:28 Yoga Nidra and hypnosis

    15:54 What is Sankalpa?

     ---------------

     

    RESOURCES

    Full Blog 

    https://alexazmeditates.com/podcast Learn to Meditate Try Day One FREE www.alexazmeditates.com/free

    Joan Cappiello Livingston (A teacher and a friend - we teach the same Amrit Integrated Method) Her Youtube Station

    Free Yoga Nidra Download  (scroll to middle of the site) https://www.alexazmeditates.com

    More Info on Kamini Desai and Richard Miller

    www.kaminidesai.com

    https://www.irest.org

    Feeling This Moment To The Fullest

    Feeling This Moment To The Fullest
    When I was younger, and I would call my dad worried about the future, he would often say to me, "Just this." I would look at him so puzzled, not realizing how the moment was fleeting as my mind drifted away from the most valuable place to be. Listen to this podcast to find more presence in your life. This moment is truly the most meaningful, creative, and joyful place for all of us!

    You Don't Need To Move On, You Need To Move Forward

    You Don't Need To Move On, You Need To Move Forward
    After experiencing heartbreak, job loss, or a significant disappointment, our loved ones often encourage us to move on and let go of what has occurred. Despite their well-intentioned advice, many of us may fail to recognize that 'moving on' is a healing journey that requires time to transform our wounds into wisdom. Yet, the encouraging news is that as we heal, each moment presents fresh chances and beginnings to help move us forward, aid in our healing journey, and foster new beginnings.

    Do You Have The Patience To Achieve Your Goals?

    Do You Have The Patience To Achieve Your Goals?

    Although we may know patience allows us to achieve more in our lives and have better relationships, sometimes our fear of the unknown gets the best of us. We become so afraid that we can't have the future we want that we get reactive and make decisions too soon. Often, these decisions leave us far from the life we truly desire. Listen to this podcast to learn how to overcome our fear of uncertainty, slow down, and find the patience to plan and create the life we truly want.