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    552: Will Storr | Understanding Social Position and the Status Game

    en-usAugust 26, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Transforming Homes into Rental Properties and Creating Memorable ExperiencesBy turning homes into Airbnb rentals, hosts can earn extra income and create memorable experiences for guests while exploring new places and connecting with local cultures.

      Our homes can be more than just personal spaces; they can also be sources of income and opportunities to connect with others. The hosts of the Jordan Harbinger Show, inspired by their experiences with Airbnb, transformed their own home into a rental property to share with travelers. By adding thoughtful touches and creating a welcoming environment, they not only earn extra income but also create memorable experiences for their guests. This not only benefits the hosts, but also the guests who get to explore new places and connect with local cultures. So, instead of letting your home gather dust, consider turning it into an Airbnb and sharing a piece of your world with others. As Will Storr, the guest on the show, discusses, understanding and managing our own social status is crucial in navigating relationships and communities. Whether it's online or offline, our comparisons and obsession with status can lead to damaging behaviors. By recognizing and evaluating our own status games, we can learn healthier ways to build connections and respect for others.

    • Understanding the importance of status in human natureThe desire for status drives us to innovate, achieve, and strive for success in various aspects of life, from dominance to virtue to success.

      The desire for status is deeply rooted in human nature and plays a crucial role in our survival and development. From our evolutionary history as tribal animals, we have an inherent need to join groups, earn status, and maximize our potential for survival and reproduction. This desire for status drives us to innovate, achieve, and strive for success in various aspects of life, from our jobs and podcasts to our personal relationships. It's not something to be ashamed of, but rather an essential part of the human condition. The book "The Status Game" explores three types of status games: dominance, virtue, and success. Dominance is about physical strength and fear, virtue is about being seen as virtuous and putting others before ourselves, and success is about competence and achieving goals. Understanding these different types of status games can help us navigate our own desires and motivations. Ultimately, acknowledging and embracing the importance of status can lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth.

    • The Power and Perils of Human Need for StatusThe drive for status can lead to great achievements and entertain, but it can also become toxic when people seek it at others' expense or through manipulation. Strive for status in healthy ways, focusing on self-improvement and helping others.

      The human need for status is a powerful driver for personal growth, competence, and success. It can lead to great achievements and entertain audiences, but it can also become toxic when people seek status at the expense of others or through manipulative means. Status is relative, and decreases in our own standing can have the same negative impact as increases in others', leading to problems like envy and cancel culture. The internet and social media have amplified this phenomenon, but it's not a new issue. The drive for status is a fundamental aspect of human nature and has been present since the earliest days of social connections. While it can bring meaning to our lives, it's essential to strive for status in healthy ways, focusing on improving ourselves and helping others, rather than trying to diminish others to boost our own standing.

    • Status and mental health in extreme circumstancesLack or loss of status can lead to depression and negatively impact mental health, even in extreme situations like imprisonment.

      Status plays a significant role in mental health and well-being, even in extreme circumstances like being imprisoned. The case of Ben, a man who served a lengthy prison sentence for a tragic incident from his youth, illustrates this concept. Ben's status within the prison system gave him a sense of purpose and identity, but when he had the opportunity to leave and rebuild his life, he struggled. His fear of losing status led him to remain in prison despite the chance for freedom. Research suggests a connection between depression and lack or loss of status, as our brains perceive it as a signal of failure within a social group and the potential loss of resources. Understanding this link can help individuals better comprehend their mental health and the importance of maintaining a positive sense of self.

    • The loss of status can negatively impact mental healthLosing status, whether sudden or gradual, can lead to mental health issues and even suicidal ideation, as our brains perceive it as a dangerous situation. Mental health struggles are not a reflection of personal worth or moral character.

      The loss of status, whether rapid or gradual, can significantly impact mental health and even lead to suicidal ideation. This is due to our brains perceiving a lack of status as a dangerous situation. However, it's important to note that successful people are not immune to mental health issues, as they too compare themselves to those around them. Additionally, status is relative, and what may seem like a privileged life to some can be a source of distress for others. Therefore, it's crucial to understand that mental health struggles are not a reflection of personal worth or moral character, but rather a complex interplay of various factors. Empathy and understanding towards those experiencing mental health challenges, regardless of their socio-economic status, is essential.

    • The desire for status and validation can lead to irrational behaviors and dissatisfactionRecognize that the pursuit of status and validation is a universal human experience, but it can also lead to irrational comparisons and dissatisfaction. Be honest with yourself about your own desires and priorities.

      While material possessions and public recognition can provide a sense of status and validation, they can also lead to a never-ending cycle of comparison and dissatisfaction. The speaker, Will Storr, shared his own experiences of feeling envious of others who seemed to have more success or recognition, despite his own accomplishments. He acknowledged that this desire for status is a universal human experience, and that it can be irrational and objectively meaningless, yet deeply impactful on our emotions and self-worth. The speaker also joked about the absurd lengths some people go to in order to achieve status, such as believing in conspiracy theories or appearing on controversial podcasts. Ultimately, the speaker encouraged listeners to be honest with themselves about their own desires and to recognize that everyone is playing the "status game" in their own way. The speaker also noted that status and money are often intertwined, but that sometimes people prioritize status over money. The speaker's insights highlight the complex and often irrational ways that we value and seek validation in our lives.

    • The desire for status affects our happiness more than moneyOur relative income and status in comparison to others significantly impact our happiness, often leading to prioritizing status over ethics

      Money is not the only factor that contributes to our happiness and well-being. Instead, our brains have an inherent desire for status, which can lead us to prioritize job titles and comparisons with others over raw income. This desire for status can even lead people to engage in unethical behavior. The Economist's study shows that our relative income, or how much we make compared to those around us, has a greater impact on our happiness than the actual amount of money we earn. This is particularly evident in social environments where status is emphasized, such as law firms. The pressure to keep up with colleagues and outdo them in terms of income can lead to corruption and a focus on status over ethics. Ultimately, money is just a proxy for keeping score in the status game, and once our basic needs are met, the rest is just a matter of status.

    • The influence of childhood experiences on our desire for status and wealthDespite potential negative consequences, our innate drive for status and wealth is deeply rooted and often shaped by childhood observations and imitation. It's crucial to reflect on the source of this desire and consider if it aligns with true happiness.

      The pursuit of higher status and wealth, even if it means missing out on personal experiences and relationships, may not lead to true happiness. Instead, this desire for status is deeply rooted in us and is often learned through observation and imitation during childhood. We are naturally drawn to those we perceive as high status, using cues such as self-similarity, competence, and social validation. However, these processes were designed for small groups, not the age of global media and celebrity culture, which can lead to an unhealthy obsession with status and wealth. The constant comparison and striving for more can lead to stress, anxiety, and even mental health issues. It's essential to question the value of this rat race and consider what truly brings meaning and happiness to our lives.

    • Gaining High Status through Behaviors and PrestigeHumans and animals seek status through various means like dominance and prestige. Humans evolved to earn prestige through virtue and success in communities.

      High status can be gained through various behaviors, including talking more, taking up more physical space, and owning valuable possessions. This is not only true for humans but also for animals, where dominance games are the oldest form of status seeking. However, as humans evolved and started living in communities, prestige became a more common form of status seeking. Instead of relying on physical strength and dominance, individuals could earn prestige through virtue, such as being useful to the group by enforcing codes, participating in rituals, and being generous, or through success, such as being knowledgeable and skillful. Both dominance and prestige games are still played today, often at the same time and in the same place.

    • Our inherent desire for status and maintaining hierarchyHumans have an innate need to earn and maintain status through dominance, virtue, and success, even if it means bringing down those with more status to feel better about ourselves

      Humans have an inherent desire for status, which we earn and maintain through dominance, virtue, and success. These status games are a remnant of our tribal past, where we felt good about punishing rule-breakers and maintaining a sense of tribal hierarchy. However, in the modern world, with the ability to amass massive wealth and fame, we are constantly comparing ourselves to high-status individuals, leading to a need to see them brought down. This phenomenon, known as the "tall poppy syndrome," is an undeniable part of the human condition, even if it's not always a pleasant one. Ultimately, our relative status is always shifting, and we take pleasure in seeing those with more status than us experience a decrease. This desire for status and the need to maintain a sense of hierarchy can be traced back to our evolutionary past and continues to shape our behavior today.

    • The concept of earned versus unearned status in early human societiesIn early societies, status was not self-claimed but granted by others based on achievements or duties. Harry and Meghan's rejection of these rules led to criticism and loss of status.

      In early human societies, success and prestige were not something one could claim for oneself. Instead, they were offered by others. This concept is seen in various cultures, including an Inuit tribe that used a song of derision to bring down those who boasted too much about their achievements. The US is a country where this phenomenon is particularly noticeable, with reality TV shows like Top Chef showcasing the reflexive response to self-aggrandizement. The case of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle illustrates this concept well. Despite being born into the British royal family, they were criticized for seemingly claiming status they hadn't earned. This rejection of societal rules and expectations led to their widespread dislike. The royal family is an example of a system where status is tied to duty and the inability to express opinions. By rejecting these rules, Harry and Meghan were seen as forfeiting their claim to the status that came with their birth. This concept of earned versus unearned status continues to shape human dynamics in various contexts.

    • Prince Harry's Public Image Struggles and Mental HealthIndividuals, regardless of background, can face challenges with public image and mental health. Earning respect and building a strong foundation before criticisms can lead to a smoother transition.

      Individuals, even those with notable backgrounds or titles, can struggle with their public image and mental health. Prince Harry's decision to step down from the royal family and his subsequent public statements have sparked debates about status, competence, and the implications of cancel culture. The discussion highlights the importance of earning respect and building a strong foundation before making public criticisms. If Prince Harry had focused on creating a new source of status through work and personal growth, his transition away from the royal family might have been more successful and better received. The conversation also touches upon the complexities of cancel culture and its potential role as a status play.

    • The roots of cancel culture in human natureCancel culture is a historical phenomenon rooted in human cognition, persisting in the digital age through social media groups. Mitigate its impact by creating new norms and legislating against it.

      Cancel culture is a behavior deeply rooted in human cognition, with its origins in the way our ancestors made decisions and meted out punishments in tribes. In the absence of formal leaders, consensus was reached through gossip, and those deemed to have transgressed the group's rules faced severe consequences. This phenomenon, which has persisted throughout history, is now playing out in the digital age, where groups, often driven by strong political views, use social media to attack and cancel individuals who violate their sacred rules. It's essential to note that this behavior is not a new invention of social media platforms but an inherent part of human nature. However, there are ways to mitigate its impact. By creating new norms against cancel culture and legislating against it, we can limit its reach and prevent individuals from being unfairly targeted and punished based on their political beliefs. Additionally, being aware of the potential for fake victimhood and status-seeking behavior is crucial in navigating these complex social dynamics.

    • Using morality as a tool for social statusPeople may fake immoral acts to gain recognition and respect within their community, recognizing morality as a socially constructed concept can help us respond effectively.

      Morality and virtue can function as tools for gaining status within social groups. People may engage in actions that appear immoral or unjust, not because they truly believe in them, but because they understand that such actions can elevate their standing within their community. This can lead to situations where individuals fake hate crimes or other morally questionable acts, as they believe it will bring them greater recognition and respect from their peers. It's essential to recognize that morality is not always an inherent quality, but rather a socially constructed concept that can be manipulated to achieve status. To mitigate the negative impact of this phenomenon, it's crucial to remember that morality is just a game and to approach criticisms or attacks with a more objective perspective. Understanding that others may be motivated by status-seeking behavior can help us respond more effectively and reduce the emotional impact of such situations.

    • Navigating Social Situations: Understanding Different Types of Social GamesUnderstanding dominance, virtue, and success games can help improve oneself and others by focusing on warmth, sincerity, and competence, while avoiding moral judgment and virtue dominance games.

      Understanding different types of social games can help navigate various social situations and groups. Dominance games revolve around force and coercion, virtue games enforce moral rules and hierarchies, and success games focus on achieving specific goals. The best games blend these elements, such as virtue success games in charities or scientific endeavors. To improve oneself and others, it's essential to reduce moral judgment towards others and focus on warmth, sincerity, and competence. Modern society has seen a shift towards success games, leading to advancements like the industrial revolution. Avoiding virtue dominance games, which involve forcing others to adhere to rules with threats and punishment, is crucial. Embracing the principles of warmth, sincerity, and competence can lead to success and positive change in various aspects of life.

    • The complexities of status and its impactStatus is a complex concept that can lead to destructive rivalries, cult-like beliefs, and irrational behaviors. To increase status, focus on warmth, sincerity, and competence.

      Status, whether personal or societal, is a complex and omnipresent concept that can be both empowering and dangerous. According to the discussion, the magic trio for increasing status is warmth, sincerity, and competence. However, status is never truly possessed but is given and can be taken away, leading to constant chasing and potential obsession. This obsession can result in destructive rivalries, cult-like beliefs, and even irrational behaviors. The constant pursuit of status can lead individuals to hold onto sacred beliefs, often at the expense of their own interests and the greater good. The discussion also highlighted the examples of dictators who exhibited extreme cases of status drunkenness, renaming days, words, and even calendars after themselves. Overall, understanding the complexities of status and its impact on individuals and society is crucial for leading a healthy and fulfilling life.

    • The Significance of Status in Extreme Beliefs and ConflictsStatus seeking is a fundamental human drive, leading to conflicts and genocides, but being different and original can help achieve status without playing the same game as everyone else. Understanding and accepting status as a human drive is key to avoiding its negative consequences.

      Status plays a significant role in various aspects of society, including cults and groups with extreme beliefs. Status seeking is a fundamental human drive, and it's not about equality but dominance. Genocides and conflicts are often rooted in humiliation and a desire to elevate one's status. However, being different and original can help individuals achieve status in their unique ways without playing the same game as everyone else. The key to avoiding the misery caused by the endless pursuit of status is to understand and accept it as a human drive and work towards achieving it in a way that aligns with one's values and goals. Remember, no one truly wins the status game, but we can all play it in our unique ways.

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    • You've about had it with your autistic boss' cringeworthy conspiracy theories. How can you disagree respectfully and maintain professionalism?
    • As a cancer patient struggling with massive student loans and disability assistance denial, what legal help and guidance is available for navigating private loan regulations while fighting for survival?
    • You've invented a non-functional plastic object that brings laughter to all who behold its absurdity. You want to protect the IP so you can profit from this stroke of comedic novelty, but you can't ignore the potential environmental impact of manufacturing such an item en masse. What should you do?
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/985

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    984: Susan Casey | Unraveling Mysteries in the Ocean's Darkest Depths

    984: Susan Casey | Unraveling Mysteries in the Ocean's Darkest Depths

    What challenges can the ocean help us meet, and what must we do to safeguard its treasures? The Underworld author Susan Casey dives deep for answers here!

    What We Discuss with Susan Casey:

    • The ocean plays a crucial role in regulating the Earth's climate and serves as the largest carbon sink on the planet, making its preservation essential for mitigating climate change.
    • The ocean is home to a fascinating array of creatures that have adapted to extreme conditions, such as iron-breathing microbes, glass sponges, and jellyfish that can reverse their life cycle.
    • Pollution, including plastics, chemical weapons, and nuclear waste, has severely impacted the ocean ecosystem, with some deep-sea creatures found to have plastic particles embedded in their organs.
    • There are an estimated three million shipwrecks on the ocean floor, preserving valuable historical artifacts and information — such as the Antikythera mechanism, an ancient Greek analog computer.
    • Exploring the ocean can lead to groundbreaking discoveries in medicine, Earth's history, and climate, providing valuable insights for addressing humanity's challenges — provided we safeguard this treasury of knowledge for current and future generations.
    • And much more...

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/984

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

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    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/705

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    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/918 

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals 

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course! 

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!