Logo
    Search

    61. Win or learn - how to create more success for yourself

    enFebruary 21, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Adapting to unexpected challenges and finding balance during lockdownRecognize the need for rest and relaxation during challenging times, but also stay productive and adapt to make the most of the situation. Long-term imbalance can lead to burnout, while staying engaged and focused on personal growth can lead to opportunities for learning and growth.

      Finding balance in life is crucial for long-term success and well-being, but when faced with unexpected challenges like lockdowns, it's essential to adapt and make the best of the situation. Alexis shares her experience of recognizing the need for rest and relaxation during lockdown after a hectic academic period. She emphasizes that while maintaining balance is important, it's manageable when there's an end date in sight. However, long-term imbalance can lead to burnout, stress, and anxiety. Alexis also highlights the importance of staying productive during such times by focusing on projects and continuing to learn. She discusses her interviews with Mark Boris and Marina Perry, where they explored topics like accountability, productivity, and personal growth. By staying engaged and adapting to the situation, Alexis was able to make the most of her lockdown experience and turn it into an opportunity for growth.

    • Impact of Prefrontal Cortex on PersonalityThe prefrontal cortex, a brain region behind the forehead, significantly influences personality, as shown by Phineas Gage's case, who experienced drastic personality changes after an explosion damaged it.

      The prefrontal cortex, a section of the brain located behind the forehead, plays a significant role in shaping personality. This was illustrated in the story of Phineas Gage, a railroad worker who survived an explosion that destroyed a large portion of his prefrontal cortex. Although he appeared to recover physically, his personality underwent dramatic changes, including the loss of inhibitions and an inability to predict consequences for his actions. This historical case demonstrates the importance of this brain region in regulating behavior and emotions. Moving on from the brain fact, the speaker shared her personal goals, including improving the care of her fiddle-leaf figs, practicing French daily, learning to do a handstand, and launching her merchandise business. She also mentioned her fig tree's names: Kanafi, Falafel, Frank, and Jacques. Overall, the speaker's discussion showcased her diverse interests and her determination to pursue various personal projects.

    • The Brain's Role in Shaping PersonalityDamage to the frontal lobe can alter personality, but recovery is possible, even in adulthood. Younger brains have more plasticity for healing and adaptation. Affirmations help, but actionable steps are crucial for changing thought patterns and beliefs.

      The brain, particularly the frontal lobe, plays a significant role in shaping our personality. Damage to this area can lead to notable changes in personality, but recovery is possible, even in adulthood. The younger the brain, the more plasticity it has, allowing for greater healing and adaptation. When it comes to changing our perspective, positive affirmations can be helpful but not sufficient. Actionable steps are essential for long-term change in thought patterns and beliefs. The brain's plasticity, especially in young individuals, offers ample opportunity for remolding and rewiring. To learn more about this fascinating topic, look up "Phineas Gage" and his remarkable story.

    • Change the way you look at thingsBy focusing on learning from setbacks and taking proactive steps towards positive thinking, we can improve our mindset and create better opportunities for personal growth.

      The way we perceive situations and the energy we put out has a significant impact on our lives. By changing our perspective and focusing on learning from setbacks rather than dwelling on negative thoughts, we can improve our mindset and create better opportunities. The ability to take proactive steps towards positive thinking and personal growth is crucial in creating a safety net of positive thoughts and experiences. Remember, if we change the way we look at things, people and situations will respond differently to us, leading to a more abundant and fulfilling life. So next time you face a setback, try to find the lesson in it and use it as an opportunity to grow.

    • Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choiceFocusing on hard work to improve circumstances can help individuals create positive change and take control of their emotions and happiness. No one is responsible for our feelings except ourselves.

      While it's natural to feel unfairly treated when faced with adversity, dwelling on the idea of being a victim only leads to suffering. Instead, it's essential to acknowledge the pain and then take responsibility for changing the situation. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice. By focusing on the hard work required to improve one's circumstances, individuals can create positive change and take control of their emotions and happiness. Ultimately, no one is responsible for our feelings except ourselves. While it's natural to form identities around past experiences, holding onto the label of a victim can limit opportunities and lead to prolonged suffering.

    • Letting go of past pain for new opportunitiesAcknowledge past pain, learn from it, and let go to embrace new experiences and relationships. Avoid comparing and assuming to focus on personal growth.

      Holding onto past pain and refusing to move forward can limit our potential for new experiences and relationships. Past hurts can create deep-rooted beliefs that make us feel unsafe and unwilling to be vulnerable. This can result in missed opportunities for growth and connection. It's important to acknowledge the pain, learn from it, and then let go, allowing new opportunities to emerge. Comparing ourselves to others and making assumptions about their experiences can also hinder our progress. Instead, focus on our own journey and the potential for growth that comes with every new experience.

    • Learning from Past ExperiencesInstead of comparing ourselves to others and feeling like victims, focus on learning from past experiences to turn setbacks into opportunities for growth. Identify patterns and apply lessons to future situations to become more resilient.

      Comparing your situation to others can hinder personal growth and lead to negative emotions like resentment and feeling like a victim. Instead, focusing on learning from past experiences, both positive and negative, can help turn setbacks into opportunities for growth. By reflecting on past relationships, career setbacks, or other challenges, we can identify patterns and learn valuable lessons to apply to future situations. For instance, in a toxic relationship, we might learn how to read people better, be more assertive, or have greater self-awareness. Ultimately, turning past failures into learning opportunities can help us become more resilient and propel us forward in life.

    • Learning from past experiencesExamining past experiences as opportunities for growth can help prevent repeating negative patterns and discover unexpected benefits.

      Having ownership of past experiences, whether in relationships or job interviews, can help prevent repeating negative patterns. Instead of labeling ourselves as failures, we should examine our behaviors and identify areas for improvement. By looking at past experiences as opportunities for growth, we can discover unexpected benefits and learn valuable lessons. To do this, we should reflect on our actions and consider how we could have taken control or power in those situations. Additionally, acknowledging the good that came from unexpected outcomes can help shift our perspective and find the silver lining in seemingly disappointing events.

    • Adapting to unexpected challengesAssess, learn, pivot, and stay focused on goals to make the most of unexpected situations and lead a more fulfilling and successful life.

      Being flexible and adaptable in the face of unexpected challenges or setbacks can lead to discovering new opportunities and growth. When encountering obstacles, it's important to assess the situation, learn from past experiences, and consider what different approaches could be taken moving forward. This includes looking at your goals and identifying potential behavioral changes or new strategies that could benefit you in the future. Another important aspect is knowing when to quit on something that's not working and pivoting to a different approach. This doesn't mean abandoning your overall goals, but rather finding alternative paths to achieve them. By staying focused on the present and being open to change, you can make the most of unexpected situations and ultimately lead a more fulfilling and successful life.

    • Focus on daily tasks within your control for motivationInstead of fixating on a big end goal, concentrate on daily tasks and factors within your control for motivation and progress. Shift focus to intrinsic factors like hard work and skill improvement.

      Instead of focusing solely on a big end goal, it's essential to identify and focus on the daily tasks and aspects within that goal that are within your control. The end goal may have many external factors that are out of your control, leading to disappointment and self-criticism when it doesn't work out. By shifting your motivation to intrinsic factors, such as consistent hard work and improving your skills, you can make progress towards your goal and learn from setbacks caused by external factors. It's important to remember that not everything is in your control, and focusing on what you can control will help you stay motivated and make progress towards your goals.

    • Neutralize your thoughts and let go of what's not in your controlWhen faced with a difficult situation, focus on what you can control and let go of blame to recover and learn from the experience

      When faced with a difficult situation, it's important to try and neutralize your thoughts and quickly let go of what was not in your control, rather than dwelling on the negative. This can help you recover more quickly and learn from the experience. When something goes wrong, pause and assess what you can control and what you cannot. Let go of blame and focus on what you can change moving forward. This approach can help you heal from heartbreaks and other challenging experiences, making future setbacks less painful. Remember, your thoughts have a powerful impact on your emotions and your ability to move forward. By practicing neutrality and detachment, you can more effectively navigate life's ups and downs.

    • Attachment and neediness can hinder successStay calm, present, and resourceful to improve chances of success. Release attachment to desired outcomes and trust in resourcefulness for new opportunities.

      Attachment and neediness can hinder your chances of achieving your goals. When you become too fixated on something and focus on the lack of having it, you may sabotage your opportunities. Instead, it's essential to want what you desire but release the attachment to it. Being calm, present, and resourceful can lead to better outcomes, as it allows for improvisational flow and organic interactions with others. Remember, there are always other opportunities and avenues to explore if one doesn't work out. By focusing on the small tasks and trusting in your resourcefulness, you can open doors to greater success.

    • The Power of Community SupportListeners' word-of-mouth promotion and self-kindness are crucial for podcast success. Be positive and appreciate community support.

      The success of a podcast, or any project, relies heavily on its audience and the word-of-mouth promotion they provide. The speaker expressed her gratitude towards her listeners for sharing her podcast and helping it grow. She also emphasized the importance of self-kindness and not letting others bring us down. The speaker is excited about upcoming projects and promised to share them soon. She reminded everyone to be kind to themselves and not let negativity bring them down. Overall, the message was one of appreciation, positivity, and the power of community support.

    Recent Episodes from Do You F*cking Mind?

    335. 5 Questions to ask yourself before a big life decision

    335. 5 Questions to ask yourself before a big life decision

    Do you want to have a child at this point in your life, or do you want to wait? Do you yearn for a relationship or are you feeling stuck? Have you considered moving countries, quitting your job or doing a completely new degree to change the trajectory of your life?

    If you're struggling to make a decision that you feel is right for you, this episode will help you get the confidence to make those tough choices. They might even help determine whether it goes well for you or not!

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    334. How to REALLY stop caring about what people think of you

    334. How to REALLY stop caring about what people think of you

    How do you stop caring about what people think of you? How can you let go of the things that keep you from living the life you want? This question is so crippling for so many of us, but there IS a simple solution. In this episode we’ll learn how to deal with these feelings in a way that don't consume you and stop you from going on with your life.

    Plus I'll give you my 7 steps to overcome falling into the trap of caring what people think about you!

    BUT FIRST!

    BRAIN FACT:
    Central Sensitization and chronic pain: the phenomena when there is an enhancement in the function of the neurons and the circuits that are involved in nociceptive pathways causing an echo or remembered pain. It happens because of an increase in membrane excitability and synaptic efficacy. It’s a great example for how neuroplasticity works in a negative way and has been linked to chronic pain.

    LINKS

    CREDITS.  

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Do You F*cking Mind?
    enMay 15, 2024

    333. Big Announcement: My new audiobook HOW TO CHASE CHANGE!

    333. Big Announcement: My new audiobook HOW TO CHASE CHANGE!

    My brand-new audiobook HOW TO CHASE CHANGE is the ultimate guide to shifting your mindset to become your best self. This 30-day program covers everything from turning aspirational goals into action and increasing self-confidence to overcoming heartbreak, eliminating negative self-talk, and so much more.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    332. How to be Intentional and Not Passive with Your Life and Your Happiness

    332. How to be Intentional and Not Passive with Your Life and Your Happiness

    Do you let the outside world take control of your happiness? Does it feel like you’re always at the mercy of what’s happening outside your control? In this episode we’ll find out how to become more intentional and less passive when it comes to creating your own Happiness.

    BRAIN FACT:
    HIIT – High Intensity Interval Training, cortisol and over-training syndrome.

    Read about Overtraining Syndrome here https://bit.ly/overtraining-syndrome .

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    331. ENCORE: Discipline, Freedom, And Living Your Best Life

    331. ENCORE: Discipline, Freedom, And Living Your Best Life

    Beans I'm taking a much-needed long weekend so I thought it was a perfect time to bring up one of my most listened to episodes. It's a perfect place to start if you're new to the pod and a great reset if you're a long-time bean. I'm diving into discipline, and how reframing how you view it could be the ticket to a more free and enjoyable life.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    330. HEAD NOISE: The Ick List, Blind or Blindsided and Should I Stay or Should I Go?

    330. HEAD NOISE: The Ick List, Blind or Blindsided and Should I Stay or Should I Go?

    First up I’m going through your ICKS – you loved when I did it in episode 322 so thought I’d pick more of your hilarious icks to read out.

    And then I get into Head Noise where I answer your questions – this week it’s all about heartbreak in long term relationships.

    1. How do you handle a relationship when your mind is telling you to run but your heart says otherwise? Me and my boyfriend are in our 20s and have been dating for a few years long distance.  Early on there was some lying and deception and we broke up, but I gave him a second chance as I thought he needed time to adjust from his single life to being coupled. I thought we were in a loving truthful relationship since then. But I have recently found out he has been texting 2 women. I feel it’s disrespectful, and my lack of trust from the previous lying has come back. He also follows Twitter pages with sexually explicit content. I’m a very trusting and open-minded person but I feel this relationship has made me insecure and untrusting particularly because we are long distance.
    2. Blind or Blindsided: Last night my bf of 3 years came home from work and said we needed to talk and that this wasn’t working and he didn’t love me anymore. I didn’t see this coming at all. We recently opened a business together. We regularly have sex, said I love you, planned for the future, and last week got back from a holiday together. He said he hasn’t felt a connection for some time due to my negativity and that he said he wanted kids (I’m 41 and have had ovarian failure. We’ve gone through a round of IVF together). How was he able to completely blindside me without me realising anything was up – he has gone to a new place to live so he’s clearly had time to plan this without my picking up on it.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    329. What to do when Your Ex Moves on First

    329. What to do when Your Ex Moves on First

    So you’ve been dumped, or maybe you dumped someone. You’re scrolling through social media, or maybe a well meaning friend mentions, that your ex has moved on. Cue the SPIRAL. “How Could They?!”Already?!!!” “Did our time together mean NOTHING?”

    I’m giving you ten steps to keep yourself in check when your ex moves on before you including how to not let it derail you, keep your perspective, and quit the feeling that they “owe” you something.

    First up however, we’re diving into a SCIENCE FACT:
    GHB – the pharmacology of the date rape drug explained.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    328. HEAD NOISE: Exes Lies Part 2, Forever Single and Thriving But Upset with Men, and Daddy Issues,

    328. HEAD NOISE: Exes Lies Part 2, Forever Single and Thriving But Upset with Men, and Daddy Issues,

    In the last Head Noise episode you guys LOVED the lies exes told so I’m bringing I back for an even more cooked part 2!

    And then I get into Head Noise where I answer your questions.

    1. I'm 24, forever single, thriving and upset with men. ‘ve been single my whole life and honestly thrive. But I’m curious about what its’ like in a partnership and am open to a boyfriend but very rarely do I get genuinely excited by a guy. When I do I REALLY do. But every guy I’ve ever like has had another girl in their lives they choose over me. I feel like a second choice or someone’s back up. One guy literally said that I was his second choice once a few year ago lol. Am I doing something wrong? And How can I make it hurt less when I don’t feel chosen?
    2. My dad and I have a good relationship when he’s in a good space, but when he’s in a bad place he can be a real arsehole Recently he and I got in a fight over text, and at the next family hang out I went to say hello to him and he gave me the most awkward side hug and barely talked to me. What do I do – I want a relationship with my dad but his behaviour is really childish and hurtful.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    327. Matthew Hussey on How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person and Live Happily (No Matter What)

    327. Matthew Hussey on How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person and Live Happily (No Matter What)

    New York Times best-selling author and international life and dating coach megastar Matthew Hussey joins the podcast!

    We're diving deep into his advice on dating, owning who you are, being comfortable with what you want, and his brand new book Love Life: How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person and Live Happily (No Matter What). I DARE you to leave this episode not feeling like a changed bean!

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Guest: Matthew Hussey .
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    326. HEAD NOISE: The MANY Lies Exes Tell, Growing Apart, I Cheated on my Husband

    326. HEAD NOISE: The MANY Lies Exes Tell, Growing Apart, I Cheated on my Husband

    First I have a life update about something TRULY shocking that happened to me over the weekend, and I go through your stories of things men have lied to you about!

    Then I get into Head Noise where I answer your questions. In today’s episode we’ve got two really opposite topics!

    1. My husband and I are in out mid 20s and have been together since our late 20s. His family are very close with him. I have recently realised that I have always put his needs above mine – his personality has become my personality. I want to do so much more, experience the world and step outside my comfort zone. I want to put off having kids for a while and he doesn’t accept or understand it. I want change and he is so happy and content without change. We’re growing apart and I don’t know what to do.
    2. I’ve cheated on my husband with someone I had a huge connection with. We’ve ended it now as we are both married and decided we didn’t want to leave our partners for each other. Now that it is fully ended I don’t feel like I need to tell my husband as our relationship has really improved. I would just be unburdening my conscience to ruin lives, when I’ve already shut down that cheating relationship and am moving forward with my life. How do I alleviate the feelings of guilt that are clouding my moving forward.

    LINKS

    CREDITS

    Host: Alexis Fernandez       
    Executive Producer & Editor:  Elise Cooper
    Digital Producer:  Zoe Panaretos
    DYFM Social Producer: Shania Magua
    Managing Producer: Sam Cavanagh 

    Find more great podcasts like this at www.listnr.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Related Episodes

    72. SOLOSODE: LEANING INTO VULNERABILITY + BECOMING MORE RESILIENT.

    72. SOLOSODE: LEANING INTO VULNERABILITY + BECOMING MORE RESILIENT.

    In this new episode, I break down my process of maneuvering through an emotional day of high vulnerability and the misconception that often takes place when witnessing someone who operates life from a place of absolute strength and mental resilience. 

    This episode is powerful for anyone who has or is currently moving through periods of insecurity, self-doubt and fearful due to life's uncertainties. 

    Here is a great takeaway for you:

    "I am so strong because I am so sensitive and I do not allow these aspects of my character to compete. I allow them to work together and design my undeniable resilience." @roxylook

    Enjoy

    xRx

     

    EP 422: Erik Kapitulik - Using Adverse Situations as a Catalyst for Growth

    EP 422: Erik Kapitulik - Using Adverse Situations as a Catalyst for Growth
    Eric Kapitulik was a Marine Infantry Officer and Special Ops Officer, 1st Force Reconnaissance Company.  In 1999, during routine training preparing to deploy to the Persian Gulf, Eric and his platoon were in a helicopter crash, resulting in the death of six of his Marine brothers. To raise money for college scholarships for the children of his lost teammates, he has completed 8 Ironman Triathlons and summited 5 of the seven highest peaks on each of the seven continents, including Mt. Everest. After eight years of active duty, he received an MBA from the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business. He founded The Program, which provides leadership development and team building for companies worldwide. Talent is essential, but great teammates and leaders working together enable a world-class culture and world-class performance. That's The Program.
     
    LINKS
     
    The Mojo Sessions website
     
    The Mojo Sessions on Patreon
    Full transcripts of the show (plus time codes) are available on Patreon.
     
    The Mojo Sessions on Facebook
     
    Gary on LinkedIn
     
    Gary on Twitter
     
    The Mojo Sessions on Instagram
     
    If you like what you hear, we'd be grateful for a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Happy listening!
     
    © 2023 Gary Bertwistle.  All Rights Reserved.
     

    Embracing Failure: How to Turn Setbacks into Opportunities for Growth

    Embracing Failure: How to Turn Setbacks into Opportunities for Growth
    Now with over 1 million downloads....

    In this episode, we delve into the topic of failure and how to turn setbacks into opportunities for growth.
    We explore the common misconceptions around failure, how it can actually be a powerful tool for personal and professional development, and provide practical tips on how to reframe your mindset towards failure.

    From learning to embrace risk-taking to developing resilience, we share strategies to help you bounce back stronger from failures and turn them into valuable learning experiences. Tune in to gain valuable insights and shift your perspective towards failure.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/confidence-self-esteem-podcast--3128218/support.

    Guru Singh On Positivity — Why Receptivity Is The Better Path

    Guru Singh On Positivity — Why Receptivity Is The Better Path
    Welcome to yet another edition Guru Corner featuring Guru Singh, my favorite teacher on all things mystic and metaphysical. Fusing Eastern mysticism with Western pragmatism, Guru Singh is a celebrated third-generation Sikh yogi and master spiritual teacher who has been studying and teaching Kundalini Yoga for more than 40 years. He is the author of several books, a powerful lecturer and behind-the-scenes guide to many a luminary, including Fortune 500 CEOs, athletes, and artists. A peer of rock legends like Janis Joplin and the Grateful Dead, Guru Singh is also an accomplished musician who began his recording career on Warner Bros’ Reprise label in the 1960's. When he isn’t laying down tracks with people like Seal, he’s bringing down the house on the daily at Yoga West, his Los Angeles home base. Today we spin the wheel on positivity. Not your typical disquisition on the benefits of adopting a positive mental attitude, we take a more nuanced approach to self-awareness. Focusing on receptivity over repression, it's a call to embrace the power of both negativity and positivity as important forces to be experienced without getting lost in either extreme. And we discuss how to break free from the entrenched, looping stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that don't serve the lives we aspire to lead. Note: If you missed my previous conversations with Guru Singh, start with episode 267 and then enjoy episodes 332,368, 393, 400 and 418. Final Note: You can watch our conversation on YouTube at bit.ly/gurucorner434b and the show is also now available on Spotify. I love this beautiful being. It's my privilege to once agains share his wisdom with you today. So let the master class resume. Peace + Plants, Rich