Podcast Summary
People are more willing to help than we think: Research shows that asking for help can lead to unexpected connections and opportunities, despite initial fears of rejection and social discomfort.
Despite the discomfort and anxiety associated with asking for help, research suggests that people are generally more willing to assist others than we might assume. In the D2C Pod episode 318, professor Vanessa Bonds discusses her research on this phenomenon, sharing that participants in her studies often return feeling pleasantly surprised by the positive responses they receive when asking for help. The fear of rejection and the potential for social discomfort can make asking for help a daunting task, but Vanessa's findings offer a reminder that reaching out for assistance can lead to unexpected connections and opportunities. Whether in a professional or personal context, embracing the willingness to ask for help can lead to valuable experiences and relationships.
People agree to requests more often than expected: People are more likely to agree to requests in person than anticipated, making asking worth the effort
People are more willing to agree to requests than we often anticipate. According to research, people tend to agree twice as often as expected, and they have a better experience of asking for things than they initially thought. This phenomenon holds true for various types of requests, from asking strangers for directions to requesting sponsorships for charitable events. In a study, participants were asked to ask people on campus to fill out a survey, and they overestimated the number of refusals by a factor of two. Another study found that every other person approached was willing to walk a stranger to a hard-to-find gym location. Even in the context of fundraising, participants thought they would need to ask around 200 people to reach their goals, but they only needed to ask about 100. However, it's important to note that this trend holds true for face-to-face requests, and the size of the request does not seem to matter. This research challenges our assumptions about people's willingness to help and demonstrates the importance of not underestimating the power of asking.
Effectiveness of communication methods on getting a yes: Face-to-face is most effective, while email is least effective for getting a yes. Choose personal and immediate methods for better results.
The method of communication significantly impacts the likelihood of getting a "yes" response when asking for something. According to recent studies, face-to-face communication is the most effective way to get a yes, followed by Zoom and phone calls. However, email is the least effective method due to its impersonal nature, allowing people to easily ignore or delay responses without any consequences. This phenomenon was also demonstrated in the Milgram study from the 1960s, where participants were more likely to continue with harmful actions when given instructions through an authoritative figure via email-like communication. Therefore, when aiming for a yes, it's crucial to consider the communication channel and opt for more personal and immediate methods.
The Pain of Rejection for Both Parties: People find it hard to say no due to social connections, rejection is distressing for both parties, and businesses can improve customer service by prioritizing personal connections and utilizing tools like HubSpot.
That it's harder to say no than we think, and rejection is a painful experience for both parties involved. Vanessa's research shows that people find it difficult to refuse requests, even from authority figures, due to our evolutionary desire to maintain social connections and avoid exclusion. Rejection is distressing for the person being rejected, but it's also challenging for the person doing the rejecting, as it can damage potential social connections and require awkward and uncomfortable conversations. This finding can be seen as a positive thing, as it shows that people are more willing to help than we might assume. However, it's essential to remember that saying no is a natural and necessary part of life, and it's crucial to find ways to do it gracefully and respectfully. In a business context, this can be particularly relevant when trying to provide excellent customer service. HubSpot's new Service Hub can help businesses better connect with their customers and keep them happy by offering an AI-powered help desk, chatbot, and customer success workspace, all while remembering customers' names and anticipating their needs. By prioritizing personal connections and utilizing tools like HubSpot, businesses can improve their service and create happier customers at every stage of the journey.
Belief in human connection influences behavior: People are more likely to comply with requests or engage in actions when they believe they're interacting with real people, even if it goes against their preferences or values.
People are more likely to comply with requests or engage in actions when they believe they are interacting with real people, even if those actions go against their usual preferences or values. This was demonstrated in a study where participants were more likely to agree to exchange contact information with their least favorite person when they believed the profiles were real, and were more likely to vandalize a library book when asked by a researcher posing as a friend. These findings highlight the power of human connection and the influence it can have on our decision-making. Additionally, the study emphasizes the importance of understanding the complex motivations behind people's behavior, as it often goes beyond simple niceness or a desire to please others.
The 'yes set' effect makes it hard to say no: People often agree to requests, even when uncomfortable, leading to potential implications. Be mindful of this tendency and consider consequences before agreeing.
People often find it difficult to say no, even when asked to do something as simple as writing on a library book or handing over their phone for a stranger to search. In a study, over 60% of participants agreed to write on a library book despite feeling uncomfortable and concerned about the implications. Similarly, over 90% of participants handed over their phones when asked, even though they felt uncomfortable with the idea. This reluctance to say no is likely due to the awkwardness and discomfort of the moment, which can make it difficult to find the words to refuse. This phenomenon, known as the "yes set," can lead people to agree to things they might not normally consider. It's important to be aware of this tendency and consider the potential implications before agreeing to requests, especially if they involve compromising personal values or privacy.
Mindfully considering commitments: Be thoughtful about yeses to maintain healthy relationships and align with goals and values
We should be more mindful about the commitments we make and buy ourselves time to consider if we truly want to say yes or no. Vanessa emphasizes that it's not about saying no more often but rather being more thoughtful about our yeses. We often agree to things in the moment without fully considering the consequences, potentially leading us to accept engagements we'd rather avoid. To prevent this, Vanessa suggests creating space and time for reflection before making a decision. This approach can help us maintain healthy relationships and ensure that our yeses align with our goals and values. Additionally, consider signing up for the Nudge newsletter for more marketing insights based on behavioral science.
