Podcast Summary
Effective negotiation isn't about power plays or anger: Understand human psychology in negotiations, avoid anger, and focus on empathy, active listening, and finding mutually beneficial solutions.
Learning from this discussion with Chris Voss, the former FBI hostage negotiator and author of "Never Split the Difference," is that effective negotiation isn't about power plays or anger. Contrary to popular belief, hostage negotiations aren't like they are portrayed in movies. Instead, they're based on understanding human psychology, including how decisions affect our identity, future, autonomy, and potential losses. One tactic that doesn't work in real-life negotiations is getting angry. While it might temporarily help you get what you want, it's toxic and can harm the relationship long-term. The other party will spend time and energy trying to pay you back. Chris also shared his doubts about the effectiveness of this tactic, pointing out that studies on its success are based on simulated negotiations, which don't accurately reflect real-life interactions. In real negotiations, there's often an ongoing relationship, and the consequences of your actions can last much longer than an hour. Therefore, it's crucial to approach negotiations with empathy, active listening, and a focus on finding mutually beneficial solutions.
Using Anger in Negotiations: Not Recommended: Avoid using anger or pushing for a 'yes' in negotiations as it may lead to negative consequences in future interactions. A respectful and collaborative approach can be more successful.
Using anger or pushing for a "yes" response in negotiations may not be effective or productive in the long run. The anecdote about students in a negotiation exercise and the experience of a Georgetown student at Home Depot illustrate how using anger can lead to negative consequences in future interactions. Additionally, a study conducted by researchers Nicolas Gagan and Alexandre Pascal showed that adding the phrase "you are free to refuse me" to a request for spare change led to a significant increase in donations, suggesting that a more respectful and less confrontational approach can be more successful. While movies and sales tactics may glamorize the use of anger or pushing for a "yes," research indicates that a more collaborative and respectful approach can lead to better outcomes in the long run.
Starting with 'no' in negotiations: Confidently starting negotiations with 'no' can lead to more substantial agreements and better outcomes, preventing 'yes battering'.
The yes momentum in negotiation, while it may seem like a step up from constantly seeking "no," can actually limit your potential success. By focusing too much on getting small "yeses," you may be leaving larger opportunities on the table. This concept was popularized by Jim Camp in his book "Start With No," which encourages negotiators to begin discussions with clear and confident requests, rather than trying to build agreement incrementally. By starting with "no," you set the stage for a more open and honest conversation. This approach can lead to more substantial agreements and better outcomes for both parties. Kent, who adopted this strategy, found that simply allowing people to say "no" increased his win rate significantly. It's important to remember that being a "c student" or making deals based on small "yeses" does not equate to long-term success. Eventually, you may find yourself "yes battered," meaning you've been manipulated into agreeing to unfavorable terms. To avoid this, be bold and confident in your negotiations, and don't be afraid to start with "no."
Giving people the power to say no leads to successful negotiations: Acknowledging and respecting someone's right to say no builds trust and increases the likelihood of a positive response in negotiations.
Giving people the power to say no can lead to more successful outcomes in negotiations. This concept was first discovered by Camp, who found that preserving a person's autonomy during sales interactions led to more deals. A study conducted at Georgetown University also supported this idea, showing a 23% higher success rate when using a "no-oriented" script instead of a "yes-oriented" one. This principle, known as the "you are free to refuse" study, has been tested and confirmed in 42 different studies across various disciplines. By acknowledging and respecting someone's right to say no, negotiators can build trust and increase the likelihood of a positive response. However, it's important to note that this principle works best in face-to-face settings. Pushing for a yes or using strategic ambiguity are negotiation tactics that don't work well with this approach. Ultimately, giving people the freedom to say no can lead to more effective and successful negotiations.
Building personal connections with HubSpot's Service Hub and effective networking: HubSpot's Service Hub uses AI to anticipate customer needs and remember their names, while effective networking involves giving your first name first and respecting the other person's autonomy to build genuine connections
Building personal connections with customers is crucial for providing excellent service, but remembering every detail can be a challenge. HubSpot's new Service Hub offers a solution with its AI-powered help desk, chatbot, and customer success workspace, which can help anticipate customer needs and even remember their names. However, according to Chris Voss, the power of using a customer's first name in sales interactions might not be as persuasive as we think. Instead, effective networking involves giving your first name first and allowing the other person to decide when they're comfortable sharing theirs. This approach respects their autonomy and helps establish a more genuine connection. In summary, HubSpot's Service Hub and thoughtful social interactions can significantly enhance customer service and satisfaction. To learn more, visit visithubspot.com/service.
Building rapport with names and price negotiation: Use names to build rapport, but avoid overuse. Gather price data before setting an offer, and be prepared to adapt in negotiations.
Using someone's first name can help build rapport and capture their attention, but overusing it can create unease and make the interaction feel transactional. Successful businesspeople often advise against naming a price first in negotiations, and instead recommend gathering the other party's price data before making an offer. High anchoring, or leading with a high price as an anchor, can be effective, but successful negotiators understand how to react when faced with a high anchor and have a plan in place. Remember, it's not a sin to not make every deal, but taking too long to close one can be detrimental. The key is to be prepared and adaptable in negotiations.
Anchoring in Negotiations: Setting an Unrealistic Initial Offer: Anchoring can be detrimental to successful negotiations as it may be perceived as threatening and cause the other party to harden their stance. Effective negotiation involves active listening, flexibility, and finding common ground.
Anchoring, or starting a negotiation with an extremely high or low initial offer, can be detrimental to reaching a successful agreement. This tactic can be perceived as threatening to one's autonomy and may cause the other party to harden their stance instead of working towards a deal. The speaker shares his personal experience and the example of Ned Colletti, a professional sports manager, who successfully used this strategy in trading for high-salary players by making the other team assume part of the salary. While anchoring can be effective in certain situations, such as boosting sales or increasing tips, using an unrealistic anchor in a negotiation can backfire and make the proposer appear unreasonable or even unhinged. Instead, effective negotiation involves active listening, flexibility, and a willingness to find common ground between the parties involved.
Autonomy in Negotiations: Respecting autonomy is crucial for successful negotiations. Tactics that limit autonomy include getting angry, pushing for a yes, overusing first names, and using high anchors. Effective negotiation tactics include maintaining calm, asking open-ended questions, using names sparingly, and setting realistic goals.
Learning from this episode of Nudge is that autonomy plays a crucial role in successful negotiations. When people feel their autonomy is being restricted, they become less receptive to negotiations. Four specific tactics that can limit autonomy were discussed: getting angry, pushing for a yes, overusing first names, and using high anchors. Instead, effective negotiation tactics include maintaining a calm demeanor, asking open-ended questions, using the name of the person you're negotiating with sparingly, and setting realistic and achievable goals. In the next episode, Chris Voss will share his top advice for negotiations, so be sure to subscribe to the Nudge podcast and sign up for the newsletter to get notified when it goes live. Chris's book, "Never Split the Difference," is an excellent resource for further learning on this topic. Remember, the key to successful negotiations is to respect the other party's autonomy and work together to find a mutually beneficial solution.
