76. Your Burning Divorce Questions: Answered!

Okay, real talk. Getting your head straight for divorce is NECESSARY.

It’s crucial to seek the proper legal and emotional help when going through a divorce. In this episode, we chat with Dr. Ashley Southard and she has you covered! Straight from a licensed marriage and family therapist, you’ll learn in this episode: 

* Professional guidance during divorce

* Defining worst and best-case scenarios

* Managing emotions during divorce

* Focusing on children, career, and supportive relationships

* Addressing the struggle of over-functioning individuals to seek help or delegate responsibilities

* Importance of seeking therapy before starting the divorce process

* Over-functioning women in unfulfilling relationships

* Identifying emotional and practical needs during challenging times

This episode is for you if you’re ready and determined to get your head on straight when it comes to divorce! (Trust us, you can do this!)

You can find Dr Ashley on her viral IG account: http://www.instagram.com/drashleysouthard

And friends, remember, Our Family Wizard is here to help with you all of your coparenting issues. Go read our co written article! It's funny and really helpful! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

And keeping with the real talk. Ya'll. Your skin takes a BEATING when you're stressed, and that just plain SUCKS. However, we have a way to help you! Dr Amy Brodsky developed an amazing line of EFFECTIVE skincare- and guess what?? She's giving our listeners 50% off for a limited time. Take a sec right now and go check out Dermamade. Use code AMY50 at checkout. http://www.dermamade.com

(Morgan loves the anti aging set and Andrea is digging the Vitamin C serum, as well as the Retinol serum. )

We're here for you. Join our private community http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Please DM us with any questions!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Okay, let's hash out everything you need to do BEFORE you file for divorce, sounds like fun, huh?

 Listen, let us start by saying:  mental preparation is crucial and there is NO perfect time for divorce, and every case is different! 

And before we forget, go join our private communities:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadytodivorce

This episode helps you get your head straight if you’re thinking about divorce. 

You’re going to hear:

*The Importance of timing in divorce decisions

*Consideration of length of marriage for potential alimony or maintenance

*Permanent support after around 20 years of marriage

*Setting up for success in the next chapter of life after divorce

*Tools for Organizing Expenses and Communication During Divorce

*Impact of job loss or significant career advancement on divorce filing and financial implications

*Retirement and its impact on support and financial division in divorces later in life

*Discussion of prenups, children's ages, length of marriage, employment, and retirement for awareness and discussion with an attorney

*Confidential ways to consult a divorce lawyer, such as through advance consultation fees or using a separate credit card

*Emotional Support During the Divorce Process

*Encouragement to seek professional advice from a divorce attorney to address individual concerns

This episode is for you if you are ready to get your head on straight if you are considering or currently navigating the complexities of divorce and seeking expert advice, support, and camaraderie during this challenging time. 

And remember: Soberlink is THE tool you need if you suspect alcohol is going to be an issue with safe parenting time. Get $50 off your device by visiting: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. To their FREE newsletter AND an article that we cowrote to help you not suck at communicating with your ex, visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Follow us on IG! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Andrea and Morgan answer the question that you’re probably wondering if you’re going through (or about to go through) a divorce: Will the kids be okay?! 

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To get FREE tips on coparenting communication (believe us, you'll want this) head to:

http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck - pop in your email and you'll get access to BONUS tips, direct from Andrea & Morgan.

We get real about the impact of divorce on children and invite: Meg, and sisters Eden & Larissa on the show.  They share their personal stories of coming from divorced households, navigating blended families, and the challenges of balancing different parenting styles.

This episode gives you insight if you’re contemplating divorce or worried about the effects on your kids.

Expect to hear:

*Tips on communicating with challenging co-parents and using "Our Family Wizard" for organized co-parenting, including expenses and messaging.

* The importance of prioritizing the well-being of the children involved and creating a supportive environment for them.

* The challenges and misconceptions of parenting during and after a divorce

** The impact on children and the importance of parental happiness for the well-being of children

***The answer you all want to hear: Will the kids be okay? Answer might suprise you. 

**and BONUS !!! What can you do to give your skin that glow you had before your life turned upside down!! (hint: it's Morgan's obsession)

Get up to 50% off (which is INSANE!) If you go to www.dermamade.com and enter in code: AMY50

This episode is filled with real stories, hope, and honesty to help answer your question: are your kids going to be okay? 

You can do this. We've got you.

Join our private community:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Follow us on IG:

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

We'll see ya next week. 

In this episode: Andrea, Morgan, and James Quigley dive into the world of divorce and family law, AND  contempt of court. Listen to get some strategies for dealing with violations of court orders, and the emotional toll of navigating divorce. 

* Examples of non-willful violations of court orders and the importance of making reasonable efforts to comply

* Situations where pursuing contempt charges for financial issues in divorce cases may be warranted, and the process of filing a petition for the court to consider contempt charges

* Assessing the teamwork of law firms, understanding lawyer agreements, and maintaining credibility with the court

* Communication strategies with challenging co-parents, using co-parenting apps, and documenting interactions.

* Acknowledgment of the emotional toll of divorce, abuse, and gaslighting, and the recommendation to seek mental health support.

* Stressing the importance of addressing emotional issues with support, as lawyers are not therapists.

This conversation is filled with real-life anecdotes, practical advice, and a touch of humor, all aimed at providing support and guidance for those going through a divorce. Join us as we tackle these complex issues and share resources, all while navigating the intricacies of divorce with honesty and levity.

To find James Quigley online, head to: https://www.beermannlaw.com/team/james-m-quigley/

and follow the guy on IG, it'll make his day. https://www.instagram.com/quigleyondivorce/

And remember:

If you're concerned about your children's safety during your co parent's parenting time becuase of alcohol, Soberlink is here to help. To learn more visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck and get $50 off your device.

Our Family Wizard is here to my coparenting EASIER, how awesome is that??!! To get FREE access to an article that we co wrote with the Our Family Wizard team that gives action steps on how you can better communicate with you ex, go to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

We have private communities, don't forget!! Join us. We're helpful and, like, way fun:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadytodivorce

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

In this episode, Andrea and Morgan give advice on creating parenting schedules and what you need to keep in mind to ensure the best interests of the children are at the forefront.

We dive into some of the most common custody issues:

*50/50 arrangment

*right of first refusal

*asking for more than 50% custody

*difference between custodial custody and parenting time

*best parenting time schedules for younger kids

*more creative parenting time schedules

And speaking of kids, Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier! And trust us, you want Our Family Wizard as a tool in your divorce toolbox. Head to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to get access to a FREE article that we co-wrote with Our Family Wizard on how to best communicate with a challenging ex spouse!

And remember, our private community is here to support you. Join us at: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And if you have not yet filed for divorce and would prefer to listen to our episodes privately, you can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce. Our entire library of episodes can be listened to discreetly for $4.99 a month. 

Follow us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

See you next week, friends!

In today’s episode, Andrea and Morgan discuss what happens AFTER you’ve been served with a petition for divorce…aka “dissolution of marriage”. 

So if you’ve wondered:

How do I choose the right 🤷🏻‍♀️divorce attorney?

How do I manage 🤦🏼‍♂️ divorce stress?

Who can help me understand 🙅🏻‍♀️ divorce documents?

Then this episode is for YOU. 

You deserve the right guidance and mindset is CRUCIAL.  

Divorce is a journey that can be navigated with resilience and grace, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you practical advice, and a much-needed dose of humor.

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If alcohol is an issue and you’re concerned about your kids’ safety during your co-parent's parenting time, please check out Soberlink. http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Vist the link to get $50 off your device.

And if you want more guidance and support in regards to co-parenting, head over to Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard is here to make co-parenting EASIER. Click on this → link ← to get free access to communication tips that will save you time, money, and a big fat headache! 

Please visit our private communities for more.

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

And follow us on IG!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

You gotta hear this episode. 

The end of Moncia's marriage involved betrayal, alcohol abuse, and porn addiction. What's fascinating about her experience is not what she went through, but how she CHOSE to heal.

When Monica and her now ex husband entered couples therapy, they also did individual therapy, and Monica join a support group. In that support group, she found perspective and reflection. With that, she was able to see that there was a role that SHE PLAYED in the breakdown of the marriage. Now, it's not to say that anything that Monica did or didn't do caused her husband to make his choices. Rather, Monica was able to see that some of her behavior came from a strong desire to control a situation, what wasn't helping anything. 

Once she was able to let go and accept her husband for who he was, everthing changed.

Yes, their divorce process began, but so did Monica's beautiful healing process.

Fast forward to the present day: Monica is sharing her dinner table with her exhusband, their children, AND her new boyfriend. You can see for yourself on her IG: https://www.instagram.com/monicaleighblog/

She now hosts her own podcast: Choosing to Heal with Monica Leigh

She also runs her own support community for other women looking to heal! Check it out!

https://monicaleighblog.com/community

This episode should give you hope and inspiration. Please visit our private communities for more.

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce

And follow us on IG!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

if you are not quite ready for divorce and want to listen to this episode without downloading it to your device, you are welcome to subscribe to our Patreon channel, where, for $4.99 a month, you can access our entire library of episodes

Trauma makes a home in our bodies. Recent studies have shown that traditional talk therapy might not be enough to help people recover from trauma. 

(eye roll) Great. So, now what?? 

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce features Dr Melissa Kalt. Dr Melissa is a triple board certified physician turned trauma healer. Dr Melissa offers group programs and 1:1 services for people wanting to heal from their trauma. She even met with Andrea in December. Be sure to listen to Andrea's experience and how Dr Melissa was able to pinpoint her pain and help her release it.

Something to note is that the trauma lives in our bodies because of the story we told ourselves about the traumatic event, not so much the event itself....food for thought. 

(Poor Morgan found this topic to get a little too "woo woo" for her at times...what do you think??)

The takeaway here is that if you are suffering, you deserve not to suffer. If trauma healing can help you, why wouldn't you try it?

And remember, our private FB community is here to support you. Please join!

Join FB Group Here

You can do this, friends. It won't be easy, but we'll help you through it. 

You've got this. And we've got you. 

For many people getting divorced, it's inevitable that you're going to be stuck for a certain period of time, living with your ex.   And yes, that's going to suck.

Luckily, we have some insight on the situation that we want to share with you.  This episode is a re air from a few seasons ago. We are coming to you with a FRESH, BRAND NEW episode next week!

So take a listen to "When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex" to get your questions answered.

Questions like:

Can I date other people before I get divorced?

Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex?

How will my ex and I figure out kid time?

How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly?

And friends, we know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining.  We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced. 

Please rate and reivew our show!!

And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!!

http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

And join our private communities!

https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce - for those needing to listen to our private library

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity - for those looking for community and a place to ask quesitons!

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponspored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at http://www.betterhelp.com/notsuck and get on your way to being your best self.

We want to help you survive the next few weeks. The holiday season is a stressful time, in the BEST of situations. But if you're also navigating a divorce or considering divorce, then you're managing and extra set of stress and unhappiness that's likely making the next few weeks a really tough time. 

Here's how we can help.  Here are 6 pro tips from Morgan and Andrea. You ready for them? Let's go!

1. Set some realistic expectations. Surprises make for more unhappiness.
2. Keep busy. 
3. Prep your family on how to handle themselves around you (tell Aunt Beatrice to not ask you questions)  and possibly your ex.
4. Watch the cheesy holiday movies, we're talking the REALLY cheesy ones, Hallmark channel style. Nothing bad happens in these movies and it makes for great background noise
5. Just say no to parties you don't want to attend. Nobody really cares. 
6. Move your body. It's so damn important. If it's really cold where you live, walk around the mall, or even around a Target. 

And please, join our private communites for extra support!

Here are the links:

http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

And if you need to listen to our episodes discreetly (for those of you who aren't ready to file for divorce and don't want this show popping up on your subscription list)

https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce

FYI: it’s a private community that does have a small fee. $4.99 a month to get all of the episodes discreetly. Ideal for if you don’t want your spouse seeing that you’re listening to the show. 

We’re adding to this channel everyday- so soon there will videos there too. 

The charge shows up as “Patreon” which is just a platform for additional podcasts.

Also! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. AND, you can get free information on coparenting and handling sticky situations!

Head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck