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    95: How to Break Free from Covert Narcissists | Feedback Friday

    en-usSeptember 14, 2018

    Podcast Summary

    • Possessing something extraordinary broadens our horizonsSharing personal spaces on Airbnb brings income and memorable experiences, while engaging with fascinating guests enriches our lives and provides valuable skills

      Exceptional items can inspire us to push beyond our limits and achieve remarkable feats. Whether it's a snowboard that encourages a newbie to tackle the mountain or a luxurious Airbnb that turns a traveler's stay into an adventure, possessing something extraordinary can broaden our horizons and make us feel capable of more. Similarly, sharing our personal spaces through Airbnb not only brings in additional income but also allows us to connect with others and create memorable experiences. Furthermore, the wisdom and insights gained from engaging conversations with fascinating guests on The Jordan Harbinger Show serve to enrich our own lives and provide us with valuable skills and knowledge.

    • Persuading your partner to want a change for themselvesInstead of pushing, help your partner see the benefits and excitement of a change. Understand and respect each other's personalities and risk tolerances to navigate shared goals and challenges.

      Instead of pushing your partner to make a big move, try to persuade them to want it for themselves. The woman in this situation wants her husband to leave his full-time job and move with their family to Australia, but he's hesitant due to fear. Rather than pushing him, she should focus on helping him see the benefits and excitement of the move. This approach is more likely to result in a successful transition, as the husband will be more invested in the decision and its outcomes. Another key takeaway from their discussion is the importance of balance in life. Both the hosts and their listener have had experiences that required stepping out of their comfort zones, whether it was attending a camping event or making a major life change. These experiences, though challenging, brought new opportunities and growth. Lastly, they touched on the importance of understanding and respecting each other's personalities and risk tolerances. The woman's impulsive nature contrasts with her husband's cautious approach, but this difference doesn't have to be a source of conflict. Instead, it can lead to a stronger partnership as they navigate their shared goals and challenges.

    • Pulling vs Pushing in PersuasionFocus on benefits, address fears, set boundaries, be transparent, and effectively guide others' decisions while protecting your interests.

      Persuasion through pulling rather than pushing is more effective in getting someone to make a decision. This approach focuses on the benefits for all parties involved and addresses any fears or discomfort the person might have. In the case of sharing investment ideas, it's essential to set boundaries and protect your intellectual property. You can either charge for your consulting services or use non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) to protect your information. Remember, it's crucial to be transparent and honest about your reasons for doing so. By focusing on the benefits and setting boundaries, you can effectively guide others towards making informed decisions while protecting your own interests.

    • Reevaluating friendshipsConsider the present and future value of friendships. Communicate openly if it's draining or one-sided. Prioritize emotional well-being and surround yourself with positive people.

      While it's important to acknowledge the value of past friendships and the support they've provided, it's also essential to consider the present and future of those relationships. If a friendship no longer brings value or positivity to your life, it may be time to reevaluate it. However, if a friend has been loyal and supportive during difficult times, it's crucial to communicate openly about your feelings and find a way to maintain the relationship that works for both parties. If a friendship feels draining or one-sided, it may be necessary to set boundaries or even end it. In the case of the listener's situation, she could try to find common ground or activities that they both enjoy, or communicate openly about her feelings and the need for a more fulfilling friendship. Ultimately, it's essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you.

    • Growing Apart and Encouraging GrowthIt's healthy to grow apart from people and encourage growth by introducing new experiences. Offering emotional support doesn't require constant togetherness, and limiting connections might be too restrictive. Engage with new connections to build relationships and prioritize personal growth.

      It's okay to grow apart from people, even if you have a history with them. This can apply to personal relationships and professional connections. Encouraging growth by introducing new experiences and distancing yourself are healthy ways to move forward. It's essential to remember that offering emotional support doesn't mean you have to spend all your time together. Furthermore, limiting LinkedIn connections to only real-world acquaintances might be too restrictive. Engaging with new connections through social media can open up opportunities. However, it's crucial to start conversations with new connections to build a relationship. Overall, it's essential to prioritize personal growth and maintain a balance in your relationships and professional network.

    • Managing LinkedIn connections effectivelyFilter out spam and transactional connections, use tools to save time, and consider the value each connection brings to your news feed for a productive and peaceful LinkedIn experience. For major life changes, weigh pros and cons carefully and seek support from loved ones.

      Effectively managing your professional network on LinkedIn involves carefully screening and trimming your connections, using tools like TextExpander to save time, and considering the value each connection brings to your news feed. The speaker emphasizes the importance of filtering out spam and transactional connections to maintain a productive and peaceful social media experience. Additionally, for those considering a major life change, such as moving to a new country, the speaker suggests weighing the pros and cons carefully, considering both personal and practical factors, and seeking support from loved ones.

    • Navigating unexpected challenges during changeChange brings challenges, but also opportunities for growth and new experiences. Focus on healing and setting boundaries during difficult times.

      Change, whether it's moving to a new place or starting a new program, can bring unexpected challenges. In the case of the person writing in, they encountered a love triangle that left them hurt and humiliated. But it's important to remember that emotions fade with time and drawing boundaries is essential. In the European move situation, the person was advised to break routines, make new friends, and maintain old ones for a better work-life balance. The key takeaway is that while change can bring challenges, it also presents opportunities for growth and new experiences. In the case of the love triangle, the person was encouraged to focus on their own healing and avoid the source of the pain. Overall, it's important to approach new experiences with an open mind and a willingness to adapt.

    • Setting healthy boundaries in personal and professional lifePrioritize peace of mind by avoiding negative conversations and setting limits, even if it means leaving a toxic work environment

      Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for personal well-being. Whether it's dealing with gossip or a toxic work environment, it's essential to prioritize your peace of mind. Avoid engaging in negative conversations and don't feel guilty for setting limits. Remember, it's not a reflection of your character when others behave poorly. In the nursing profession, the term "nurses eat their young" refers to the bullying of new nurses by established ones. If you're in a stressful work situation with a volatile boss, consider looking for another job, either within or outside the organization, to ensure your well-being and the stability of your family's situation. Keep in mind that disclosing your intentions to your current employer might make things worse, so tread carefully. Overall, prioritize your mental and emotional health by setting boundaries and seeking out positive work environments.

    • Documenting mistreatment and communicating intentions to HRIf in a toxic work environment with a volatile boss, document instances of mistreatment and communicate intentions to HR to protect yourself in case of disputes or lawsuits. Understand that narcissistic personalities do not change their behavior and prepare for manipulative tactics during the transition process.

      If you're in a toxic work environment with a volatile boss and are considering leaving, it's crucial to document any instances of mistreatment and communicate your intentions to HR. This evidence can help protect you in case of a dispute or lawsuit. Additionally, understanding that narcissistic personalities do not change their behavior can help prepare you for potential challenges during the transition process. While it's natural to feel afraid of your boss's reaction, acknowledging and preparing for their manipulative tactics can help you navigate the situation with confidence. Remember, your well-being and career growth are important, and taking steps to remove yourself from a harmful work environment is a valid choice.

    • Leaving a Toxic Job: Documentation and a Clear Plan are EssentialWhen leaving a toxic job, accept the new offer, document any threatening behavior, and provide evidence to your new employer. Stay calm and focused on your future.

      If you find yourself in a situation where you need to leave a job due to a toxic boss, it's crucial to have a clear plan and documentation. Accept the new job offer, get it in writing, and follow through with a formal resignation. Be prepared for the boss's reaction, which could include threats or attempts to sabotage your reputation. Record any threatening conversations and document everything. When sharing your situation with a new employer, be prepared to provide evidence of the boss's behavior. Additionally, consider watching shows like "Magic for Humans" or "Shin Lim Magic on Penn and Teller Fool Us" for entertainment and distraction during stressful times. Remember, documentation and a solid plan are essential when dealing with difficult situations at work.

    • Effective habits for building and maintaining relationshipsConsistently practicing habits like those shared by Jordan Harbinger can significantly improve relationship-building skills. Check out his level one course for more information.

      Building and maintaining relationships requires consistent effort and the implementation of effective habits. Jordan Harbinger emphasizes the importance of this skill, sharing that he has designed drills to take only a few minutes per day, which he wishes he had known about a decade ago. These habits are crucial and not fluff. For those interested in learning more about how to effectively build and manage relationships, Harbinger recommends checking out his level one course at advancedhuman dynamics.com/level1. Harbinger also encourages listeners to engage with him on social media, and to submit questions for the Friday Q&A segment at jordanharbinger.com. Additionally, Harbinger mentioned Shin Lim and the Netflix show "Magic for Humans," as well as a shout out to Andrew Lopez and Blaj Steffe. The episode concluded with promotions for Caesars Palace online casino and Consumers Energy's smart thermostat program.

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    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/985

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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    • Pollution, including plastics, chemical weapons, and nuclear waste, has severely impacted the ocean ecosystem, with some deep-sea creatures found to have plastic particles embedded in their organs.
    • There are an estimated three million shipwrecks on the ocean floor, preserving valuable historical artifacts and information — such as the Antikythera mechanism, an ancient Greek analog computer.
    • Exploring the ocean can lead to groundbreaking discoveries in medicine, Earth's history, and climate, providing valuable insights for addressing humanity's challenges — provided we safeguard this treasury of knowledge for current and future generations.
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    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/984

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

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    • Does narcissism statistically affect men more than women, or is there just a difference in how they tend to express it?
    • When a little bit of narcissism can be a big advantage. 
    • How to tell early on if you’re dealing with a bona fide narcissist, what you can do to remain your best self in their presence, and how you might possibly help them become their better selves.
    • And much more...

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/246

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    5: Faux Gravitas Your Way to Success | Feedback Friday

    5: Faux Gravitas Your Way to Success | Feedback Friday

    Jordan (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason (@jpdef) are back to banter every week and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday on The Jordan Harbinger Show!

    If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

    On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

    • New beginnings! New excitement! New puppies! New levels of sleep deprivation!
    • Here's a trick to convey contemplation rather than grumpitude if you've got one of those resting faces.
    • How do you turn from a Fibbing Freddy into a Trustworthy Terry?
    • How do we prepare for a show? (If you're interested in the longer story, tell us!)
    • Do you like this show? Please tell your friends about it -- we're starting from scratch and need your help!
    • Why should a woman who has more in common with her boyfriend and his friends be forced to hang out with the girlfriend group at social occasions?
    • Sometimes people who are stuck in a rut don't even realize it. Is there a delicate way to tell them?
    • There's something to be said for having the confidence to make mistakes (or dress like a kangaroo at the bar) without being embarrassed.
    • Recommendation of the Week: Somm
    • Quick shoutouts to Rick Higgins, Eric Onesto, and George Taylor!
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger, and check out Jason's (@jpdef) other show: Grumpy Old Geeks. You can also find him on Instagram at JPD.

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here.

    110: Stop Financially Supporting Deadbeat Friends | Feedback Friday

    110: Stop Financially Supporting Deadbeat Friends | Feedback Friday

    Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Jason DeFillippo (@jpdef) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week!

    If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now, let's dive in!

    On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss:

    • How do you know if you're making progress and on track to a better and brighter future if you feel underqualified and inadequate about so much of your life? How can you measure your growth?
    • Sometimes you try so hard to help your loved ones with their issues that you forget to help yourself. Support is close if you know where to find it -- here's where we suggest looking.
    • How do you keep yourself from falling back into old, obsolete patterns of behavior whenever you visit your friends in your old hometown? Aren't you better than that now?
    • You've been on Facebook for 14 years and have never weeded out friends you've only spoken to once in that entire time. Now you're applying to a job and notice one of your obscure connections is VP of the company. Is it tacky to contact them?
    • If you genuinely love networking and meeting new people, you might feel bad about having to turn down lunch with some of them because you just don't have as much time as you used to (especially when they turn into sales pitches in disguise). How do you retreat from these invitations politely?
    • If you're proud of your political activism in college, does it do any harm to bring it up when you're looking for a new job?
    • Should you give up all the guaranteed benefits of your long-term government job to pursue a shaky future in the private sector that could result in more money and reemergence of happiness from that fire and drive you once had, but at a time cost and a possibility of being released or fired and losing those needed benefits for your family?
    • Since returning to your hometown as a successful attorney making the big bucks, one of your friends seems to think you should pay for everything you do together because you make more money. What do you do?
    • Recommendation of the Week: Jon Levy's What Makes Us Influential? TED Salon Talk
    • A quick shoutout to Renee in Montana!
    • Tank's Good News: Nike Signs First Runner with Cerebral Palsy
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Jason on Twitter at @jpdef and Instagram at @JPD, and check out his other show: <a href="http://podcastone.com/grumpy-old-geeks"...

    60: Todd Kashdan | The Bright Truth about Your Dark Side

    60: Todd Kashdan | The Bright Truth about Your Dark Side

    Todd Kashdan (@toddkashdan) is a Professor of Psychology and Senior Scientist at the Center for the Advancement of Well-Being at George Mason University and co-author of The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self -- Not Just Your "Good" Self -- Drives Success and Fulfillment.

    What We Discuss with Todd Kashdan:

    • Why trying to be positive and happy all the time may be harming your ability to get things done and achieve the results you want.
    • How what you may think of as negative emotions -- like anger -- can be useful superpowers with the proper awareness and application.
    • The problem with living in a time and place when distraction from discomfort comes in an easier and greater variety than ever before.
    • Why every decision you make now is based on how you expect to feel in the future -- and you probably underestimate your ability to tolerate distress.
    • How you can use the discomfort caveat to ease out of the "put on a happy face" rut around others.
    • And much more...

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! 

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!

    Full show notes and resources can be found here.