Logo

    A Matter of Life and Death

    enJuly 15, 2024
    What is phenatophobia and its impact on happiness?
    How does Dr. Laurie Santos view her fear of death?
    What is the purpose of a death cafe?
    How can embracing impermanence improve our lives?
    What role does the psychological immune system play in coping with uncertainty?

    Podcast Summary

    • Death and taxesFacing up to mortality can help us appreciate life more fully and make the most of the time we have, despite fear of death being the number one fear for many people, leading to avoidance of important preparations like having life insurance or a living will.

      Our fear of death, or phenatophobia, can negatively impact our happiness. Malcolm Gladwell's new podcast, "Medal of Honor," explores the stories of courage and sacrifice of those who have received the highest military decoration in the US. Meanwhile, Dr. Laurie Santos from The Happiness Lab shares her own fear of death and how it affects her life. She reveals that people, on average, report death as their number one fear, leading to avoidance of important preparations like having life insurance or a living will. However, research shows that facing up to mortality can help us live better and more fulfilling lives. At a death cafe, where people discuss their fears and thoughts about death, attendees found it to be a valuable and comforting experience. Confronting death head-on can help us appreciate life more fully and make the most of the time we have.

    • Thanatophilia, Memento MoriAcknowledging our mortality through practices like Thanatophilia and Memento Mori can help prioritize what truly matters and inspire action towards goals, focusing on relationships and experiences over material possessions.

      Embracing the awareness of our mortality, or Thanatophilia, can be a powerful motivator for living a meaningful and fulfilling life. Jodi, who suffered from phanatophobia (fear of death), was inspired by her mother's unfulfilled dreams and her own stagnant career to adopt the ancient practice of Memento Mori – a reminder of our inevitable death. This practice, which can be as simple as carrying a symbolic reminder or having regular conversations with loved ones, can help us prioritize what truly matters and inspire us to take action towards our goals. Research suggests that those who have come close to death have a unique perspective on life, focusing on relationships and experiences over material possessions. By acknowledging our mortality, we can live each day with intention and purpose.

    • Mortality reflectionsReflecting on mortality can inspire greater generosity, gratitude, and prioritization, leading to increased happiness and a more intentional approach to life

      Reflecting on mortality can lead to significant improvements in well-being and relationships. Near-death experiences or even just imagining such scenarios can inspire greater generosity and gratitude. Moreover, recognizing the finiteness of our time can motivate us to prioritize and take action on important goals. According to a study, calculating the number of Mondays left in one's life can help put things into perspective and encourage making the most of the time we have. This mindset shift can lead to increased happiness and a more intentional approach to life. However, contemplating death can be uncomfortable for some, and it's essential to find a balance that works for each individual.

    • Death and Appreciation of LifeThinking about death can help us appreciate life more fully and live it to the fullest, but everyone's relationship with death is unique and it's important to respect that.

      Engaging with the reality of death can bring about a new perspective on life. Jody, from the text, encourages us to consider our mortality as a way to make the most of our time. Alua, another individual mentioned, embraces death and even plans experiences around it. These stories suggest that thinking about death can help us appreciate life more fully and live it to the fullest. However, it's important to remember that everyone's relationship with death is unique, and some may find comfort in avoiding the topic altogether. The Medal of Honor podcast, which explores stories of courage and sacrifice, also highlights the importance of living fully and making the most of our time.

    • Mortality and Meaningful LivingContemplating mortality can lead to self-reflection and a focus on living a meaningful life. Death doulas provide support during end of life, helping individuals find joy in the present moment.

      Contemplating one's mortality can lead to profound self-reflection and a renewed focus on living a meaningful life. Alua, who became a death doula after watching her brother-in-law face terminal cancer, shares that this experience made her consider the importance of creating a life worth living until the very end. Death doulas, who provide non-medical support to the dying, are similar to birth doulas in that they help individuals prepare for a significant life event. Just as we seek professional guidance during other major life transitions, having a death doula can provide valuable support during the end of life. Through her work, Alua has gained unique insights into what truly matters in life and encourages us to find joy in the present moment, rather than trying to force meaning into every experience.

    • Embracing uncertainty and mysteryRecognizing the miracle of life and feeling gratitude deepens our connection to it. Facing the unknown with a positive mindset protects mental health and finds joy in life's journey

      Embracing the uncertainty and mystery of life, including death, can help us find appreciation for the present moment and cultivate a sense of curiosity and wonder. As Eluah shared, recognizing the miracle of being alive and feeling gratitude for everyday experiences can deepen our connection to life. Facing the unknown with a positive mindset, rather than fear, can help us navigate life's uncertainties and adapt to change, just as we do with the many unknowns we encounter every day. This psychological immune system, as psychologist Dan Gilbert calls it, can protect our mental health and help us find joy and meaning in the journey of life.

    • Psychological Immune SystemOur psychological immune system enables us to adapt and thrive amidst life's uncertainties, including death. Embracing difficult emotions can deepen our appreciation for life.

      Our psychological immune system helps us adapt and thrive during uncertain moments in life, including the uncertainty of death. Malcolm Gladwell's podcast, Medal of Honor, reminds us of the courage and sacrifice of those who have faced their own uncertainty in combat. Embracing the impermanence of life, including its difficult emotions, can lead to a deeper appreciation for the human experience. By recognizing that these emotions are temporary, we may even find ourselves enjoying them in a unique way. So, in the face of life's challenges, remember that you have the strength to adapt and that every experience, good or bad, is a part of what it means to be human.

    • Accepting mortalityPracticing awareness of death can help reduce fear and become more comfortable with the idea of living and dying. This can be done through exercises like noticing signs of dying in our environment or acknowledging our mortality in the mirror.

      Accepting our mortality and recognizing the signs of dying around us can help us live more compassionately, mindfully, and with a sense of awe and connection. By practicing awareness of death, we can reduce fear and become more comfortable with the idea that living and dying are ongoing processes. This can be done through exercises like noticing signs of dying in our environment or looking at ourselves in the mirror and acknowledging our mortality. While these exercises can be uncomfortable, they can ultimately lead to a greater sense of acceptance and appreciation for the fragility and temporary nature of life.

    • Mortality and Personal GrowthReflecting on mortality can inspire personal growth and help prioritize lives, leading to increased self-awareness, appreciation, motivation, and focus.

      Reflecting on mortality can inspire personal growth and help individuals prioritize their lives. This practice, although initially overwhelming, can lead to increased self-awareness and appreciation for the people and experiences that bring joy. It takes courage to confront the fear of death, but the potential benefits, such as increased motivation and focus, make it worthwhile. Remembering our mortality can serve as a powerful reminder to live our lives to the fullest and make the most of the time we have. It's not about becoming perfect, but rather about continuously striving for improvement and giving ourselves grace along the way. This idea, explored in the Happiness Lab podcast, is just one of many valuable insights into the human condition. Another intriguing exploration can be found in the Medal of Honor podcast, which delves into the stories of courage and sacrifice of those who have received the highest military decoration in the United States. Both podcasts offer unique perspectives on the human experience and the importance of facing challenges with bravery and resilience.

    Recent Episodes from The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

    Find Hope and Banish Cynicism... Coming Sept 9

    Find Hope and Banish Cynicism... Coming Sept 9

    It's hard to stay hopeful sometimes. Things can look pretty bleak and divided, especially around election time. But if you're losing hope in your fellow humans, stop and listen to the science. Other people are kinder, friendlier and more co-operative than you might think.   

    Using insights from his new book Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, Stanford's Jamil Zaki joins Dr Laurie Santos for a special season to show why we shouldn't be so cynical about our fellow citizens and why being more open and trusting can help us live happier and healthier lives. 

    The series begins Sept 9.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    "Happiness Is Like A Leaky Tire" from Immigrantly

    "Happiness Is Like A Leaky Tire" from Immigrantly

    We're bringing you an episode of Immigrantly, where Laurie joined host Saadia Khan to discuss the psychology of happiness education and the expansive realm of happiness. Is happiness a fleeting moment or a sustained state of being? Can it be actively cultivated, or is it an innate aspect of human existence? How do our backgrounds, personalities, and choices influence our perceptions of happiness? Laurie and Saadia openly discuss cultural considerations when exploring happiness, the difference between contentment and happiness, Gen Z’s perception of happiness, and how to achieve zen mode.

    Immigrantly is a weekly podcast that celebrates the extraordinariness of immigrant life. They do this by providing their listeners with authentic, unvarnished insights into the immigrant identity in America. Immigrantly has garnered significant recognition and has been featured in renowned media outlets such as the Nieman Storyboard, The Guardian, The Slowdown, and CNN. You can get more information at http://immigrantlypod.com

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals

    The Happiness Lessons Helping Win Olympic Medals

    America's top athletes need coaches. And those coaches themselves need guidance. It's a hard and stressful job - and one where coaches can easily become burned out and unhappy. And stressed coaches can't help their athletes win medals. 

    Christine Bolger and Emilie Lazenby of the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee teach happiness lessons - many they heard on this podcast - to America's elite coaches. They share their story with Dr Laurie and tell us what regular folk can learn from top coaches. 

    Check out more Olympics related content from Pushkin Industries and iHeartPodcasts here.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Pushkin Goes to the Olympics

    Pushkin Goes to the Olympics

    Legends are made at the Olympics and this summer shows across the Pushkin network are bringing their unique takes to Olympic stories. This special episode includes excerpts from a few: a Cautionary Tale about underestimating female marathoners, a Jesse Owens story from Revisionist History’s series on Hitler’s Olympics, and—from What’s Your Problem—the new technology that’s helping Olympic athletes get stronger.

    Check out other show feeds as well, the Happiness Lab and A Slight Change of Plans are also going to the Games.

    Sylvia Blemker of Springbok Analytics on What’s Your Problem

    The Women Who Broke the Marathon Taboo on Cautionary Tales

    Hitler’s Olympics from Revisionist History

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Happiness of the Long Distance Runner

    The Happiness of the Long Distance Runner

    Georgia Bell was a great runner as a child - but in college she fell out of love with the sport. She hung up her running shoes - and they gathered dust until Covid hit and she began to run again for fun. Turns out that aged 30, she's one of the fastest women in the world and is now headed to the Olympics!

    Georgia tells Dr Laurie Santos how she regained her enthusiasm for the 1500m race - and reflects on the happiness lessons she's picked up in her dramatic return to the very pinnacle of her sport.  

    Check out more Olympics related content from Pushkin Industries and iHeartPodcasts here.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    How Talking to a Friend Helps (Live at The International Festival of Arts and Ideas)

    How Talking to a Friend Helps (Live at The International Festival of Arts and Ideas)

    Making shows about her own happiness challenges was both fun and instructive for Dr Laurie, but it also took guts to be so vulnerable and open. She later spoke to her close friend at Yale Dr Tamar Gendler about the experience. This private chat threw up lots of interesting insights, so when the duo were asked to speak at the 2024 International Festival of Arts and Ideas... they decided to share parts of that private conversation with the public.  

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    A Matter of Life and Death

    A Matter of Life and Death

    Dr Laurie HATES thinking about her own death. It's scary, creepy and morbid, right? Wrong. Thinking about our finite lives can makes us better, happier people.  The shadow of death makes us behave more kindly towards others, and can motivate us both to enjoy the little joys of life and seek out greater fulfilment in our careers and in our relationships. 

    But you need to look death square in the face - and that's not easy for a thanatophobe like Dr Laurie. To help her, she enlists psychologist Jodi Wellman (author of You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets) and death doula Alua Arthur (author of  Briefly Perfectly Human: Making an Authentic Life by Getting Real About the End).

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Why Don't We Have a 15-hour Work Week?

    Why Don't We Have a 15-hour Work Week?

    By 2030 we'll only work 15 hours a week, predicted the legendary economist John Maynard Keynes back in 1930. He thought advances in technology and wealth would let us earn enough money to live in a day or two - leaving the rest of the week for leisure and community service. 

    How wrong he was. We seem to be working more than ever - with technology adding extra tasks to our workdays (like answering emails and monitoring Slack). Dr Laurie longs for more leisure time, but how can she tame her fear of being "unproductive"? 

    Computer scientist Cal Newport explains how we all got into this mess - and why we still treat modern employees as if they were farm laborers or assembly line workers. Reformed "productivity junkie" Oliver Burkeman also offers tips on how to concentrate our minds on fulfilling and important work - and not little tasks that chew up so much of our days. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    Does the You of Today Hate the You of Tomorrow?

    Does the You of Today Hate the You of Tomorrow?

    We often do things now that will make our lives more difficult or stressful in the future. We spend money, when we should save. We eat junk food, when we should exercise. We agree to commitments, when we should protect our free time. We act so thoughtlessly that it's almost like we hate our future selves. 

    Dr Laurie asks UCLA's Hal Hershfield to help her find the happiness balance between listening to what she wants now, and the preferences she might have in the future. And she steps into an AI time machine to get some happiness advice for herself decades from today. 

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Power of Awe... and Where to Find it

    The Power of Awe... and Where to Find it

    Awe reduces stress, helps us forget our minor worries and makes us feel more connected to the people around us. We all need more awe in our lives - but surely it's not that easy to find awesome experiences on your average Tuesday?

    Actor Tony Hale explains how everyday awe helps ease his anxieties, while UC Berkeley's Dacher Keltner shows us how to find awe in music, art, scenery... even in a walk around our block. And Dr Laurie explores the things that give her a sense of awe with the help of Mike Menzel - who built a space telescope that lets us see billions of years into the past.  

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.