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    Ask and You Shall Receive (Oral)

    enNovember 22, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Effective Communication and Prioritizing PleasureCommunicate openly about needs and intentions, prioritize pleasure, and use tools like Promescent for enhanced experiences.

      Effective communication and prioritizing pleasure are key to satisfying sexual experiences. According to Dr. Emily, a sex therapist, even a simple act like getting a glass of water for your partner can be more meaningful than a 3-minute sexual encounter if the person doesn't feel fully satisfied. She encourages listeners to express their needs and intentions to their partners and emphasizes that everyone deserves pleasure. In today's episode, she answers listener questions about giving and receiving, including tips on overcoming orgasm difficulties and insecurities. The episode is sponsored by Promescent, a brand offering pleasure-enhancing products like delay spray and warming arousal gel. By communicating openly and using tools like Promescent, both partners can achieve more authentic and rewarding sexual experiences.

    • The Magic Wand: A Cultural Icon and Symbol of Unapologetic PleasureThe Magic Wand is a powerful vibrator that has earned accolades for decades, symbolizing pleasure and empowerment. It's important to allow oneself to fully experience pleasure and communicate for optimal sexual experiences.

      The Magic Wand is more than just a vibrator - it's a cultural icon and a symbol of power and unapologetic pleasure. Its unique rumble and powerful vibrations have earned it accolades for decades, making it a trusted confidant for many. While some may struggle to receive pleasure and feel the need to give back, it's important to practice the art of just saying "thank you" and allowing oneself to fully experience and enjoy the moment. For those who have difficulty orgasming from oral sex, like Kendra, it's essential to remember that everyone's body responds differently and that communication and patience are key. The Magic Wand, with its consistent powerful vibrations, can be a helpful tool for exploring pleasure and discovering what works best for one's unique body.

    • Understanding Women's Sexual PreferencesCommunication and experimentation are essential for satisfying sexual experiences as preferences vary greatly among women. Only 20% can orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone, and methods like the Kiven method may enhance pleasure.

      Women's sexual experiences and preferences vary greatly, and communication and experimentation are key to finding what works best for each individual. During the discussion, it was mentioned that only about 20% of women can orgasm through clitoral stimulation alone. One woman shared her experience of having both external and internal orgasms, suggesting that different methods work for different people. However, it was also pointed out that inexperience and lack of communication can hinder satisfying sexual experiences. The Kiven method, which involves a partner going side to side from thigh to thigh instead of up and down, was suggested as a way to reach more nerve endings and potentially enhance pleasure. Ultimately, the conversation emphasized the importance of open communication, experimentation, and understanding that everyone's preferences are unique.

    • Understanding the Complexities of Female OrgasmsWomen take longer to reach orgasm than men, communication and patience are key, self-exploration and mirrors can help, good sex isn't a 'drive-by' list, oral sex takes time, expressing desires is important, and pelvic floor muscles play a role.

      Having a satisfying sexual experience takes time and communication. Women generally take longer to reach orgasm than men, and it's important for partners to be patient and willing to learn what their female partners like. The use of mirrors and self-exploration can help women identify what touches feel good for them. Additionally, men need to understand that good sex is not a "drive-by" list and that settling in and focusing on their partner's needs is crucial. The orgasm gap between men and women is significant, with men typically reaching orgasm in 6-10 minutes and women taking 20-40 minutes. Good oral sex can also take around 30 minutes. It's essential to be confident in expressing desires and asking for what you want in the bedroom. Lastly, don't forget about pelvic floor muscles, which are crucial for orgasms and can be strengthened through kegel exercises.

    • Exploring Comfort During Oral SexUnderstand your body, use props, relax, communicate, use flavored lube, and explore other erogenous zones for a more enjoyable oral sex experience.

      Being comfortable with your own body and creating a comfortable environment during oral sex can enhance the experience for both you and your partner. This includes getting to know your vulva, using pillows for support, practicing relaxation techniques, giving directions, using flavored lube, incorporating music, stimulating other erogenous zones, and understanding that your vagina is self-cleaning. By implementing these tips, you can help ensure a more enjoyable and satisfying oral sex experience. Additionally, open communication with your partner about what you want and need can go a long way in making the experience more pleasurable for both of you.

    • Impact of Past Experiences on Sexual ConfidenceAcknowledge past experiences, communicate openly, and create a supportive environment for a satisfying sexual relationship.

      Past experiences and negative comments can impact our sexual confidence and enjoyment. Gracie's story highlights how a past partner's shaming comments led her to develop anxiety around receiving oral sex. It's essential to acknowledge the validity of these feelings and communicate openly with current partners about any reservations or concerns. By sharing your thoughts and feelings, you can create a safe and supportive environment that allows you to explore your sexuality and enjoy pleasurable experiences. Additionally, using pillows for comfort and positioning can enhance the experience for both partners. Remember, everyone deserves to feel comfortable and confident in their bodies, and open communication is key to building a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship.

    • Building confidence during oral sexFocus on finding a supportive partner and focusing on the experience to build confidence during oral sex.

      It's normal for young women to feel anxious or self-conscious about their bodies during oral sex, especially if they've had limiting experiences or have been influenced by unrealistic pornographic depictions. However, it's important to remember that everyone's body is unique and there's no need to conform to unrealistic standards. To build confidence, consider finding a partner who is supportive and accepting, and focus on taking care of your body in a way that makes you feel good. Remember, most men's experiences are influenced by pornography, which can create unrealistic expectations. It's okay to have not had an orgasm from oral sex at 19, as most people are still figuring it out. Try finding a trusted partner and focusing on the experience rather than your insecurities.

    • Finding trust and pleasure in relationships and foodBuilding trusting relationships and making healthier food choices can lead to greater satisfaction and pleasure in life. Try hero bread for low net carb options to indulge in favorite bread products while staying true to health goals.

      Having a safe and trusting relationship with a partner can lead to the most pleasurable and intimate sexual experiences. It's not always easy to find such a partner, especially with random people we meet. Some people may not feel comfortable engaging in such intimate acts with someone they barely know. However, with a trusted and invested partner, one can open up and experience better sex over time. As for food, it's possible to enjoy favorite bread products without the guilt of excessive carbs. Hero bread offers low net carb options, allowing individuals to indulge while staying true to their health goals. The texture and taste of hero bread are impressive, making it a versatile and delicious alternative for various dishes. Overall, building a trusting relationship and making healthier food choices can lead to greater satisfaction and pleasure in life.

    • Surprising someone's deepest desires can deepen a connectionSurprising someone with their deepest desires can create a profound romantic connection, even in long-distance relationships.

      Listening to and fulfilling someone's deepest desires and dreams can create a profoundly meaningful and romantic connection, even in long-distance relationships. Anne shared a heartwarming story about how her partner surprised her with a trip to Disney World to experience the Peter Pan ride she had always longed for as a child. He went above and beyond, treating her to a beautiful hotel, a private dining experience, and a romantic yacht ride with fireworks and a diamond ring. Their connection remained strong despite the distance between them, with frequent phone calls and occasional in-person visits. Anne emphasized that even when it seems like dreams cannot come true, there are special people in the world who can make them a reality if one keeps an open heart. They met through business travels and became friends, and their bond deepened over time as they realized who truly supported them during difficult times. Anne plans to give him a thoughtful gift this year, recognizing the importance of reciprocating the love and care she has received.

    • The Power of Meaningful Experiences and Open Communication in RelationshipsUnderstanding and catering to each other's needs, clear communication, and setting expectations are crucial in building strong relationships. Creative and thoughtful gestures can add depth and satisfaction to a partnership.

      Meaningful experiences and open communication are key in building strong relationships. Anne's story of cherishing the gift of being together during difficult times resonated with listeners. Jonathan shared his excitement about a unique and thoughtful gift he received from his new partner - a coupon book for sexual favors. This creative idea, along with regular visits to an adult sex store and open discussions about their desires, has contributed to a solid and satisfying relationship for them. Both stories highlight the importance of understanding and catering to each other's needs, as well as the power of clear communication and setting expectations in a relationship. The hosts' approach to addressing taboo topics with honesty and providing practical advice has made a positive impact on their audience.

    • Communication and creativity enhance sexual experiencesClear communication and consent, along with creative sex toys like LELO's Enigma Cruise and Dot, can lead to enhanced sexual experiences for all vulva owners.

      Communication and creativity are key elements in enhancing sexual experiences. During the podcast, the guest discussed a BDSM contract filled with clever and inspiring phrases, highlighting the importance of clear communication and consent. As a gift for listeners, two sex toys from LELO were introduced: the Enigma Cruise and the Dot. The Enigma Cruise is a sonic massager that offers both clitoral and internal stimulation, resulting in a blended orgasm. The Dot, on the other hand, is a pinpoint clitoral stimulator with a bendable tip, allowing for precise stimulation of nerve endings for potentially endless orgasms. Both toys prioritize user experience with intuitive designs and easy-to-use features. Use code "Emily" for a 25% discount at lelo.com. Communication, creativity, and quality tools can significantly enhance sexual experiences for all vulva owners.

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