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    Brené with Viola Davis on Being Brave, Speaking Truth, and Finding Me

    enMay 11, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • The Power of Choice and Personal GrowthBrené Brown's sabbatical emphasizes the space between stimulus and response, where we can choose our actions for freedom and learning. Viola Davis shares her experiences of overcoming trauma and finding her voice, inspiring us with her resilience and vulnerability.

      Key takeaway from this conversation between Brené Brown and Viola Davis is the power of choice and the importance of creating space for personal growth. Brené, who is going on a sabbatical and taking a hiatus from her podcast, emphasized the idea that between a stimulus and response, there is a space where we have the power to choose our response, leading to freedom and learning. Viola, an accomplished actress and producer, shared her experiences of overcoming trauma and finding her voice, inspiring many through her remarkable performances and personal journey. This conversation highlights the significance of resilience, vulnerability, and the ability to choose how we respond to life's challenges.

    • Struggling with Authentic Self-RepresentationActress Viola Davis shares her experience of feeling pressure to conform to societal expectations and the internal conflict of reconciling her true self with societal norms, leading to feelings of shame and anxiety.

      Individuals often struggle to authentically represent themselves, particularly when societal pressures dictate specific expectations. Viola Davis shared her personal experience of constantly wrestling with her "representative" - the version of herself she presents to the world. This internal conflict was particularly pronounced during her acting career, where she felt pressure to conform to the industry's standards of beauty and femininity. Despite her success, Davis found that her true self, a "street fighter scrappy kid," was often hidden or rejected. This struggle to reconcile her authentic self with societal expectations led to feelings of shame and anxiety. Ultimately, Davis's message encourages embracing one's true self, even if it doesn't fit neatly into societal norms.

    • Viola Davis: A Relay Race of Life's StagesAccept and love ourselves, traumas and all, to live a fulfilling life. Each stage of our lives is essential in shaping who we become.

      Our lives are a complex journey filled with challenges and experiences that shape us into who we are. Viola Davis, in her discussion, likens her life to a relay race where each leg represents a different stage, and she is the runner passing the baton on to the next generation of herself. She emphasizes that there is no negotiating or rewinding in life, and we must embrace all aspects of our existence, including the difficult ones, to reach a sense of home and fulfillment. Another crucial realization for Viola was when her therapist asked her if she would be okay if her life never changed, and she answered affirmatively. This moment helped her understand that it's essential to accept and love ourselves, traumas and all, to live a fulfilling life. Ultimately, the key takeaway is that we must learn to embrace our past, present, and future, understanding that each stage of our lives is essential in shaping who we become.

    • The Power of Compassion and ForgivenessDuring challenging times, simple acts of compassion and forgiveness hold immense value. Be authentic, even when it's difficult, and cherish the essence of life's moments.

      Key takeaway from Viola Davis's discussion is that life's simplest acts of compassion and forgiveness hold immense value, especially during challenging times. Davis shares her experiences of dealing with her father's death and the regret she felt for not expressing her true feelings earlier. She emphasizes the importance of showing up and being authentic, even when it's difficult. The hospice page advice of holding hands, keeping lips moist, and encouraging the dying to go resonated with her, and she believes it defines life's essence. Davis also highlights the burden of fearing how others perceive us and the sacrifices we make as a result. Ultimately, she feels she's earned the right to be herself and share her truth with the world.

    • From fame to significance: Viola Davis' journeyViola Davis learned that self-love and living authentically are crucial for a fulfilling life, inspiring her to connect with larger meanings through cultural rituals and myths.

      Success is not the ultimate goal, but rather finding significance and living a life bigger than oneself. Viola Davis shares her journey from desiring fame and success to understanding the importance of self-love and living authentically. She found inspiration in rituals and myths from other cultures, which helped her connect to a larger meaning in life. However, she struggled to find her way on the public stage while staying true to herself. Ultimately, she realized that self-love and significance are essential components of living a fulfilling life. Despite not having a clear answer on how to achieve this, she continues to strive for it every day.

    • The Importance of Genuine Connections and Self-LovePrioritize relationships over self-disappointment, maintain vulnerability to experience love and connection, and recognize the long-term consequences of emotional suppression.

      It's essential to surround ourselves with genuine connections and self-love, as discussed by the speaker. This was a driving force for the speaker's personal growth, and they emphasized the importance of prioritizing relationships over self-disappointment. The speaker also reflected on a past conversation about dealing with hurtful criticisms and the futility of trying to develop thick skin. Instead, they advocated for maintaining a vulnerable, translucent self, despite the potential pain. The speaker's childhood experiences with emotional suppression had long-term consequences, leading to mental and physical health issues. Ultimately, they recognized that hardening oneself may prevent pain but also hinders the ability to experience love and connection.

    • The Power of Vulnerability in Healing and Self-DiscoveryVulnerability is a humanizing quality that can be difficult to embrace, but it's important for healing and self-discovery. Therapy and sharing stories with loved ones can provide valuable support during transformative times.

      Vulnerability, though difficult, is a powerful and humanizing quality. Actors may relish in portraying vulnerable moments, but as individuals, we often shy away from showing our weaknesses. Therapy can serve as a guiding force during times of transformation and trauma, providing us with tools and wisdom from those who have come before us. As parents, sharing our stories with our children can help them understand the importance of owning their narratives and embracing their vulnerabilities. For adoptees, the process of liberating oneself from the pressure to be an extension of one's parents can be crucial in fostering self-growth and independence. Ultimately, the journey towards healing and self-discovery is a personal one, but having the support of a therapist or loved one can make all the difference.

    • The power of self-reflection, acceptance, and accountabilityThrough accepting hardships, being accountable for actions, and reflecting on personal growth, one can find wisdom, release blessings, and inspire others.

      Love, particularly between a parent and child, is about accepting and letting go, knowing that everyone experiences hardships in life. The speaker discovered that the best version of oneself is found in the present, and that taking accountability for one's life is a powerful moment that can lead to growth and wisdom. The act of sharing one's truth and taking responsibility for one's actions can make one a teacher and source of inspiration for others. The Greek tragedy of Orestes illustrates this concept, where accountability led to the release of blessings from the Furies. Overall, the speaker emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, acceptance, and accountability in finding personal growth and meaning in life.

    • Embrace the human experienceBe open to learning and growth, acknowledge complex emotions, and embrace all aspects of life, including challenges and regrets.

      We are the architects of our own experiences, both the challenges and the blessings. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being open to learning and growth, even when the truth may be difficult to hear. She shares her personal struggles with vulnerability and the societal pressure to conform to certain definitions of strength. The speaker also highlights the importance of acknowledging complex experiences and emotions, like those surrounding abortion, which are often overlooked or stigmatized. Ultimately, she encourages embracing all aspects of our lives, including the hard choices and regrets, as part of the human experience.

    • Sharing difficult truths can lead to connection and liberationSharing personal truths, even the difficult ones, can help us connect with others and break stigmas. Self-reflection and self-acceptance are essential for owning our stories and taking up space.

      Sharing our truths, even the difficult ones, can be liberating and help us connect with others. The speaker in this conversation shared her experience with having an abortion and the shame she felt around it. She realized that by hiding this part of her life, she was not fully connecting with others. After much contemplation, she decided to share her story publicly in a book. She believes that there is no punishment for truth and that the only punishment is the one we inflict on ourselves. By owning her truth and sharing it, she hopes to help other women feel less alone and to break the stigma surrounding this common experience. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and self-acceptance, encouraging us to take up space and own our stories.

    • The Power of VulnerabilityEmbrace vulnerability as a superpower, acknowledge and overcome personal weaknesses, and be true to oneself for a deeper connection and potential growth.

      Vulnerability, the courage to be oneself, is a powerful and rare quality. Viola Davis, an accomplished actress, emphasized the importance of embracing vulnerability and shared her experiences of witnessing its impact. She described vulnerability as a superpower, a strength that not everyone possesses. Davis also highlighted the significance of acknowledging and overcoming personal "kryptonites" to unlock one's true potential. During their conversation, Davis revealed her deep appreciation for authenticity and the profound impact it can have on others. She also shared some personal insights, including her favorite movies, meals, and TV shows, offering a glimpse into her life. Ultimately, Davis's words underscored the importance of being true to oneself and embracing vulnerability as a source of strength and connection.

    • Brené Brown's personal journey in 'Finding Me'Join Brené Brown as she invites us to embrace vulnerability, connection, and stay awkward, brave, and kind through her personal experiences in 'Finding Me'.

      The power of vulnerability and connection as explored in Brené Brown's memoir, "Finding Me." Released on April 26th, this book is a raw and rewarding read that invites us to join Brown on her personal journey. Through her experiences, she holds our hand and guides us through the tough parts of life, reminding us to stay awkward, brave, and kind. For more resources related to this episode, visit renebrowne.com. Don't miss new episodes of "Unlocking Us," produced by Brené Brown Education and Research Group, and follow us on your favorite podcast app to stay updated. This podcast is part of the Vox Media Podcast Network, where you can discover more award-winning shows.

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