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    • Cooling down in San Antonio during summer and Valentine's DaySan Antonio offers various ways to beat the heat and celebrate love, whether through pool visits, nightlife, or prioritizing relationships.

      No matter how one feels about Valentine's Day, San Antonio offers plenty of ways to cool down and enjoy the summer season. Whether it's visiting amazing pools or experiencing the hottest nights at coolest spots, there's always something to do in San Antonio when the temperature rises. As for Valentine's Day, some people may see it as a corporate holiday, while others view it as a day to prioritize and show love to those in their lives. Regardless of how one chooses to spend the day, it's a reminder to appreciate the people around us. And for those still struggling with their love lives, the Vowel Files is here to help with advice and insights from experts. So come join the conversation and celebrate love in all its forms.

    • Long-distance relationship challenges: Distance and uncertain future plansLong-distance relationships come with unique challenges, including the physical distance and uncertainty about future plans, which can lead to emotional risks and potential disappointment.

      Long-distance relationships can be challenging, especially when one person is planning to leave the area soon. Lily, a 24-year-old woman from DC, moved to Europe for self-growth and decided to try online dating while there. She matched with a man named [Name] who was in Germany. Despite their distance and the logistical challenges, they hit it off over FaceTime and developed a strong connection. However, Lily was worried about getting attached and potentially setting herself up for disappointment since she wasn't a casual dater. She also knew that her time in Europe was limited, and [Name] was staying for two years. While they seemed perfect for each other, the distance and timing presented significant obstacles. This situation highlights the complexities and potential risks of long-distance relationships, especially when one person is uncertain about their future plans.

    • People's actions don't define their true intentionsAppreciate kind gestures, but don't put too much weight on them. Focus on enjoying the connection and maintaining a balanced perspective.

      While it's nice when someone shows interest in our hobbies or passions, it's important not to put too much weight on these actions. People may express interest for various reasons, and it doesn't necessarily mean they're the right romantic partner. Additionally, being easily attached can lead to unnecessary expectations and potential disappointment. Instead, focus on enjoying the moment and the connection, without assigning too much significance to small gestures. Remember, life's uncertainties and circumstances can change people's behaviors and priorities. So, embrace the nice things, but keep an open mind and maintain a balanced perspective.

    • Partnerships for Convenience and Optimization: Martha Stewart & Marley Spoon, ShipStationMartha Stewart's partnership with Marley Spoon offers convenient, delicious meals, while ShipStation simplifies shipping for small businesses with competitive prices and streamlined services.

      Martha Stewart and Marley Spoon offer a convenient and delicious meal solution for busy individuals, while ShipStation simplifies the shipping process for small businesses. Martha Stewart's partnership with Marley Spoon provides easy-to-make meals with fresh ingredients, saving time and effort for those who don't enjoy cooking or grocery shopping. On the other hand, ShipStation offers shipping prices equal to Fortune 500 companies and streamlined customer service, making it an essential tool for e-commerce businesses looking to optimize their shipping processes. Additionally, the speakers in the discussion shared that their conversations with each other are surface-level but frequent, suggesting that sometimes it's nice to have casual interactions without the pressure of deep, intense relationships. Overall, these services and relationships offer solutions to common challenges in daily life, making things easier and more efficient. To try Martha Stewart and Marley Spoon, use code VIAL for $120 off your first five boxes at marleyspoon.com. For ShipStation, take advantage of a 60-day free trial by using offer code VIAL at shipstation.com.

    • Expressing expectations and setting boundariesCommunicating openly about intentions and setting clear boundaries can prevent misunderstandings and stress in new relationships.

      When meeting new people, it's essential to communicate openly about expectations and set boundaries to avoid unnecessary stress and potential misunderstandings. For instance, if someone identifies as getting attached too quickly, they should express their intentions clearly to prevent any confusion about the relationship's pace. Additionally, it's okay to take things slow and make friends before getting physical. Meeting in public places or suggesting a long-distance meet-up can help alleviate pressure and allow individuals to get to know each other better without feeling pressured to meet specific expectations. Ultimately, it's crucial to live in the moment and avoid romanticizing the encounter before it happens. By communicating openly and setting clear expectations, individuals can have a more enjoyable and fulfilling experience.

    • Understanding intentions and feelings in relationshipsOpen communication is crucial in relationships to avoid misunderstandings and potential hurt. Evaluate fears and assumptions, and have honest conversations about expectations and intentions.

      Communication is key in understanding the intentions and feelings of someone you're interested in. The speaker shared her experience of feeling unsure about a potential relationship due to her fear of losing her independence. She received conflicting advice from her friend about pursuing the relationship further with a guy who had expressed his desire for a committed relationship. The speaker's fear was fueled by assumptions she made based on his age and societal expectations, but her friend reminded her that everyone's timeline and goals are different. It's essential to have open and honest conversations about expectations and intentions to avoid misunderstandings and potential hurt. Additionally, the speaker shared her personal growth and the challenges she faced in considering adding a significant other into her life after being independent for an extended period. It's essential to evaluate our fears and assumptions and communicate openly with potential partners to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

    • Focusing on personal goals and independence at a young ageEmbrace independence, simplify routines, and find effective solutions to lead a fulfilling life. Discover ThredUP for affordable, big-name brand thrift shopping.

      Focusing on personal goals and independence at a young age can help individuals handle heartbreaks more effectively and lead a fulfilling life. The speaker shared her experience of studying independently for an important exam and passing it, which highlighted her career-driven nature. She also emphasized the importance of being independent and not letting relationships define one's identity. Another takeaway is the importance of simplifying daily routines and finding effective solutions to make life easier. The speaker mentioned her hair routine before discovering Hair Story and how it was time-consuming and overwhelming. Now, with Hair Story's quick and effective product, she saves time and feels good about her hair. Lastly, ThredUP, an online thrift store, was introduced as a solution to enjoy the benefits of thrift shopping without the hassle. By offering big-name brands at up to 90% off estimated retail value, ThredUP makes upgrading wardrobes more affordable and accessible. In summary, focusing on personal goals, simplifying routines, and finding effective solutions can lead to a more fulfilling and independent life. Additionally, shopping at ThredUP allows individuals to enjoy the benefits of thrift shopping without the hassle and save money on big-name brands.

    • The Value of Independence and HeartbreakIndependence is crucial, but heartbreak teaches us about being alone and seeking help for toxic habits and emotions.

      Independence is a valuable skill, but it doesn't make us immune to pain or heartbreak in relationships. ThredUP offers new customers up to 50% off and free shipping as a deal on their website. Heartbreak can be painful, but it also teaches us how to be alone and independent. However, this independence can have a toxic side, leading us to feel the need to constantly be in control. This can result in panic when we feel slightly out of control. Practicing self-recognition and seeking help from a therapist can be beneficial in managing these negative habits and emotions. In summary, while independence is important, it's essential to remember that relationships come with the risk of heartbreak and that seeking help and practicing self-awareness can lead to growth and resilience.

    • Unexpected joy from an unexpected personPeople can surprise us with their qualities and bring unexpected joy into our lives. Value the unique qualities of others and appreciate the connections we build.

      Sometimes people surprise us with their qualities and can bring unexpected joy into our lives. In this case, the speaker initially had no interest in the person she ended up seeing multiple times. However, he surprised her with his maturity, self-growth, and understanding of independent relationships. Despite her initial hesitation, she found herself drawn to him and unable to stop thinking about him. They both respected each other's independence and enjoyed spending time together. However, the speaker's overthinking led her to push him away, and they eventually decided to explore other relationships. Despite this setback, the speaker recognized the value of the connection they had built and the unique qualities he brought to the table.

    • Clear communication is essential in relationshipsBe open and honest about your intentions and needs in relationships to prevent misunderstandings and disappointment.

      Communication and clear intentions are key in relationships. The speaker shared an experience of a confusing interaction with someone she was interested in. He would express interest and then disappear, leaving her unsure of where they stood. The speaker emphasized that people are all works in progress, and it's normal for our feelings and intentions to change as we get to know someone. However, clear communication and setting expectations can help prevent misunderstandings and disappointment. The speaker advised being cautious of vague or generic statements, such as "I'm only looking to date seriously," which may not actually mean anything substantial. Instead, it's important to have open and honest conversations about what each person is looking for in a relationship. Overall, the speaker encouraged listeners to approach relationships with a clear understanding of their own needs and intentions, and to communicate effectively with their partners.

    • Embrace the present and invest in yourselfFocus on enjoying the present moment, invest in self-improvement, set healthy boundaries, and don't let past experiences define your worth in future relationships

      It's important to enjoy the present moment and not put too much weight on past experiences or rejections when it comes to finding love. The speaker emphasizes the importance of investing in oneself and setting boundaries in relationships. She also acknowledges that none of us are truly "ready" for life or love, as we are all works in progress. The speaker encourages setting healthy boundaries in relationships and embracing the ups and downs that come with life. She reminds us that rejections or past experiences do not define our worth or our ability to find love in the future. Instead, we should focus on the things we like in potential partners and continue to invest in ourselves.

    • Maintaining a Balanced Life in a RelationshipFocus on finding balance in life, work on personal growth, and enjoy the present moment in relationships, even if the outcome is uncertain.

      Despite the challenges and uncertainties in a relationship, it's important to maintain balance in life and keep the connection strong. Danielle, a 37-year-old business professional, shared her experience of meeting a divorced man on Bumble three years ago. They hit it off and started dating, but he was hesitant to commit due to his recent divorce and the emotional baggage that came with it. Danielle was honest about her intentions and was upfront about her desire for a serious relationship. Despite the ups and downs, they continued to see each other and maintain a connection. They had great chemistry and enjoyed each other's company, but the commitment never came. Danielle's advice for anyone in a similar situation is to focus on finding balance in life and not to stress too much about the outcome. As a therapist, she acknowledges that everyone has neurotic habits and that it's important to work on them while also enjoying the present moment. In the end, Danielle learned that even if things don't go as planned, it's important to stay positive and keep the faith.

    • Considering moving on from a man who can't commitPrioritize self-worth, communicate clearly, and find someone who values you as an equal to build a lasting relationship.

      The speaker's situation with a man who has been unable to commit to her may not change, and she may need to consider moving on. The man's past experiences and current circumstances may make him unlikely to prioritize her as a serious partner. The speaker has tried to maintain a connection with him, but her actions may have communicated that she is a backup option. To find a life partner, it's essential to prioritize self-worth, communicate clearly, and give potential partners a reason to see the relationship as a priority. The speaker's great chemistry with the man is not enough on its own, and she may need to focus on finding someone who values her as an equal and shares her priorities.

    • Friends as backup plans in romanceRecognize when you've become a backup plan, communicate clearly, prioritize self-care, and move on.

      Being a reliable and understanding friend can sometimes lead to unintentionally becoming someone's backup plan in their romantic life. This can happen when you're always available, never taking yourself off the market, and not expressing your expectations and non-negotiables clearly. If you find yourself in this situation, it's essential to acknowledge the investment you've made but also recognize that you've moved on. Communicate this to the person in a calm and collected manner, and consider muting or unfollowing them on social media to help you focus on your own healing process. Remember, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and not stay stuck in a situation that no longer serves you.

    • Expressing feelings and intentions in relationshipsBe honest with your partner and yourself, prioritize needs, avoid being an option, and have upfront conversations about relationship readiness.

      Being in a relationship requires honesty and clear communication. The speaker in this conversation learned that it's important to express your feelings and intentions clearly to your partner, and to not settle for being an option or a backup plan. She also emphasized the importance of being honest with yourself and prioritizing your own needs and desires. The speaker shared her experience of waiting for a man to be ready for a relationship despite his past commitments and dishonesty. She realized that it's crucial to have an upfront conversation about where someone stands in their healing process before getting involved. Ultimately, she encourages being empathetic but not accommodating to the point of wasting time on unhealthy relationships.

    • Setting boundaries in relationshipsValue your time and energy, communicate needs, and don't settle for less in relationships.

      Being too accommodating in a relationship can lead to wasting time on someone who may not be ready or the right match. It's important to set boundaries and communicate what you want. The speaker emphasizes that if a person is not fighting for the relationship, then it's best to move on and focus on finding deeper connections. Additionally, the term "enlightened fuck boy" was mentioned as a waste of time, regardless of the label. The key takeaway is to value your time and energy, and not settle for less than what you desire in a relationship. It's important to communicate your needs and expectations, and not be afraid to walk away if they're not met.

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 24, 2024

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap.

    This is a fun episode! Brian Baugartner, from the Office, joins us to talk all things barbecue and build his perfect reality tv cast. Meanwhile, Stevan Ditter from Perfect Match zooms in to talk all things drama in the villa… How was his experience? How is he with Alara? What is he doing now? 

    “We have to ask you, did he kiss Melinda?” 

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    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:59 - Household Headlines
    07:40 - Rihanna
    09:46 - Stay At Home GF
    13:33 - Icks
    17:46 - Filming
    18:37 - Proposals
    24:13 - 90 Day Fiance
    27:19 - Gypsy Rose
    29:19 - Clayton
    32:33 - Love Island
    42:02 - Welcome Brian
    01:03:26 - Getting Grilled
    01:11:40 - TikTok
    01:13:33 - Build Your Burger
    01:24:40 - Reality TV
    01:28:45 - Book Promo
    01:33:03 - The Office
    01:35:29 - Perfect Match
    01:36:50 - Stevan
    01:56:51 - Perfect Match Final Thoughts
    02:03:09 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 20, 2024

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we start off with Nick’s first Father’s Day. Then we get to our drama: Kenya Moore being indefinitely suspended from the current season of RHOA, Football Player, Isaiah Bugs being arrested AGAIN, and Lindsay Hubbard being grilled at the Summer House Reunion Part 2. Meanwhile, Elys Hutchinson from Perfect Match joins us to talk about her experience on the show!

    “you know what? I was wrong.”

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    Timestamps:
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    The Viall Files
    enJune 18, 2024

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by addressing your gentle parenting responses and diving into the ideal dating expectations of men. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller wants to shoot her shot with a professional athlete. Our second caller is back with her ex, and is afraid to tell her parents. Finally, our third caller is thriving in her occupational industry but is afraid it turns off the men she’s dating.

    “As a woman who’s very successful and passionate about her career, that should never feel like a negative for you”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 17, 2024

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Summer House’ West Wilson. 

    To start things out, we invite Tolú Ekundare from Netflix’s Perfect Match… She shares her experience matching with Izzy Zapata, Dom Gabriel, and Chris Hahn. Then we get to our interview with West. How was his first season? Who does he still talk to? Does he regret his relationship with Ciara?

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” 

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    21:05 - Captain Lee
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    34:28 - Tolú Interview
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    01:17:01 - New To Bravo
    01:19:55 - Saying Weird Things
    01:21:35 - Bachelor
    01:22:37 - Selfie
    01:30:54 - Your Heart
    01:43:15 - Love Languages
    01:50:26 - Dads
    01:54:12 - Team Carl
    01:59:55 - Her Take
    02:04:27 - Open
    02:14:39 - TOH
    02:30:00 - What Is Next
    02:32:52 - Ciara
    02:48:04 - Sports
    02:48:45 - Off Your Chest
    02:49:28 - Coming on ViFi
    02:53:59 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 13, 2024

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    Thanks for listening! 

    Be sure to sign up for my free course, Codependummy 101, at www.codependummy.com

    Check out FRAME, a therapist matching service. They want to help you find the right therapist. Go to www.tryframe.com/dummy for $20 off your first three sessions!

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    Curt’s information:

    https://www.facebook.com/curtwidhalmlmft

    https://twitter.com/curt_widhalm

    https://www.instagram.com/curtwidhalmtherapy/

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    • Curt provides listeners with the history of the term “codependency” and how it came about in the 1920s thanks to mental health professionals observing the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of partners and family members of alcoholics. Thankfully, the term has broadened to include individuals beyond those with addiction and alcoholism in their families. 
    • Curt opens up about codependency in his own life and sheds a light on codependency in men, codependent with groups of people (rather than just in a one-to-one relationship), and how it is something he continues to bring awareness to since codependency isn’t something we get over but live with on a day-to-day basis
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    Curt begins by sharing with Marissa about how he sees codependency as “needing to be perfect.” Curt shares about how, originally, the term was used to describe partners and family members of addicts and alcoholics, however, how it has expanded beyond that where anyone who is “self-sacrificing” or has “prescribed perfectionism” can be considered codependent. 

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