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    E579 Ask Nick - My Dad Stole My Girlfriend

    enMay 08, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Discussing Fears and Challenges with O'Reilly Auto Parts and Strayer UniversityThrough expert automotive advice and affordable education, O'Reilly Auto Parts and Strayer University help individuals tackle their fears and challenges, be it mediocrity, loss of productivity, or the fear of dying.

      O'Reilly Auto Parts prides itself on its professional parts people with deep automotive knowledge, while Strayer University focuses on making education more affordable through access to free Gen Ed courses. During a conversation on their podcast, the hosts discussed their least favorite days of the week and the fears that bother them most. While some worry about the Sunday scaries or the fear of dying, others fear mediocrity or the loss of productivity as they age. Despite these fears, the importance of living life to the fullest and maintaining a positive perspective was emphasized. O'Reilly Auto Parts and Strayer University offer solutions to help individuals tackle their challenges, whether it's through expert automotive advice or affordable education.

    • Exploring Self-Acceptance and Self-Awareness in RelationshipsSelf-acceptance and self-awareness are essential for personal growth and healthy relationships. Adapt to feedback and aspirations, but also value inner wisdom. Understand 'icks' and navigate complexities with self-awareness and acceptance.

      Self-acceptance and self-awareness are crucial components of personal growth and healthy relationships. The speaker acknowledges the importance of adapting to feedback and aspirations, but also emphasizes the need to value one's consciousness and inner wisdom. Additionally, the conversation touched upon the concept of "icks," which refers to small behaviors or traits that may turn someone off in a relationship. The speaker believes that men and women may have different experiences with icks, and that self-awareness and acceptance can help navigate these complexities in dating. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of introspection and communication in building strong and fulfilling relationships.

    • Understanding emotions in new relationships through communicationEffective communication is crucial in new relationships to clarify emotions and intentions, even when text messages may leave room for uncertainty. Honesty, transparency, and a willingness to listen and understand can help navigate the emotional complexities of early relationship stages.

      Communication is key in understanding the emotions and intentions behind text messages, especially in the context of new relationships. In the discussed scenario, the person sharing their experience had slept with someone new after a few good dates, but received a text mentioning an ex, leaving them feeling unsure. They communicated openly about their feelings and the other person reassured them that they were not being replaced or ghosted. However, the person sharing the story also recognized the potential complications of having sex too early in a relationship and the importance of being honest and clear about emotions and intentions. They emphasized the need to take people at their word, but also acknowledged the complexity of human emotions and the importance of giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Ultimately, open communication and a willingness to listen and understand can help navigate the emotional landscape of new relationships.

    • Sex and Emotions in DatingBe open and honest about expectations and feelings before engaging in sexual activity to build deeper connections and avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

      Sex can complicate emotions in dating and make it harder to build meaningful connections. The speaker shares her personal experience of the emotional impact of having sex with someone new after a long-term relationship. She also acknowledges that everyone has the right to change their feelings and make their own decisions. However, she emphasizes that sex can lead to unfair comparisons and complications, especially when people jump into it before they're ready. She suggests having open and honest conversations about expectations and feelings before engaging in sexual activity to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. The speaker also acknowledges the power of sex and its ability to heighten emotions, but warns against diluting its meaning and the role it plays in building deeper connections in relationships.

    • Approaching Relationships and Sex with Empathy and CommunicationCommunicate openly, give space, and consider the impact of our actions on ourselves and others in relationships and sexual experiences.

      It's important to approach relationships and sexual experiences with empathy, communication, and respect. Comparing it to dietary choices, sometimes people may feel the need to rebel against past restrictions or societal expectations, but it's crucial to consider the power and impact of our actions on ourselves and others. In this context, the speaker emphasizes the importance of being proactive in communication and giving each other space to process feelings. The breakup song of the week, "Molly" by Lil Dicky, encapsulates the regret and second-guessing that often follow a breakup. Additionally, the speaker promotes the use of Caraway cookware, which is non-toxic, easy to clean, and aesthetically pleasing. Overall, the conversation revolves around the themes of communication, empathy, and self-care.

    • Find and book doctors with ZocdocZocdoc helps users find and book doctors who take their insurance and are available within 24-48 hours, with access to patient reviews for informed decisions.

      Zocdoc is a free and easy-to-use app that helps users find and book doctors who take their insurance and are available when they need them. This can be especially helpful in urgent situations, as Zocdoc allows users to find doctors available within 24 to 48 hours. The app also provides patient reviews, ensuring users can make informed decisions about their healthcare providers. The speaker shared a personal experience of using Zocdoc to find a chiropractor while traveling and being able to see them within an hour of landing. Overall, Zocdoc is a valuable resource for anyone looking to access healthcare quickly and efficiently.

    • Recognizing and addressing broken trustSetting boundaries and prioritizing healthy relationships are crucial when trust is broken.

      Trust is essential in any relationship, but it's important to recognize when that trust has been broken and take action accordingly. In the shared story, the speaker's father admitted to cheating and was given an ultimatum to choose between his relationship with his son and his infidelity. When he chose the latter, the speaker had to make a difficult decision to remove him from their home. The situation strained the speaker's relationship with his mother, who was also struggling with alcohol addiction. Despite the challenges, the speaker is working on rebuilding their bond and seeking closure from the past. Ultimately, the experience taught the speaker the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing healthy relationships.

    • Prioritizing Personal Growth Amidst Family StrugglesDespite family challenges, focus on personal growth and maintaining healthy relationships by setting boundaries and having open conversations.

      Despite difficult family situations, it's important to prioritize personal growth and mental health. The speaker, who had a strained relationship with his father due to his father's infidelity, expressed his sadness and frustration but acknowledged that his father was making his own choices. The speaker also shared that his siblings, who were protective of him, held similar views about his father's actions. The speaker sought advice from his father while he was pursuing a woman he later discovered his father was having an affair with. Although his father provided good advice, the situation left the speaker with emotional baggage that he feared would negatively impact his future relationships. The speaker expressed a desire to build a life for himself and be the best version of himself for a future spouse, without carrying the burden of past resentment. The conversation highlighted the importance of setting boundaries and having open and honest conversations with family members to maintain relationships while prioritizing personal well-being.

    • Maintaining a complicated relationship despite past hurtsIt's important to find a way to have a respectful and non-confrontational relationship with someone who has hurt you, even if forgiveness isn't possible. Personal growth and mental health are key.

      It's possible to maintain a relationship with someone who has hurt you deeply, while also processing and managing your anger towards them. The speaker shares her experience of having a complicated relationship with her father, who has been involved with a woman she had feelings for. She discusses how she's been in therapy to work through her emotions and learn to accept her father's choices, even if she doesn't agree with them. The speaker emphasizes the importance of finding a way to have a respectful and non-confrontational relationship, despite the past hurts. She acknowledges that forgiveness may not be possible, but letting go of the anger and moving forward is essential for her own mental health. The speaker also reflects on how the details of the situation may seem salacious or dramatic, but ultimately, the relationships and personal growth are what matter most.

    • Maintaining a complicated relationship with familyCommunicate feelings, set boundaries, seek help, and work towards a functional relationship despite imperfections

      It's important to work towards maintaining a relationship with family, even if it's complicated or imperfect. When there's a strained relationship, setting clear expectations and boundaries can help. It's essential to communicate your feelings and needs to your family member, while also respecting their choices. Reaching out to them and seeking help from resources like Al-Anon can provide valuable support during challenging times. Ultimately, the goal is to find a way to have a relationship, even if it's not the same as before. It's important to remember that functioning well does not always mean that one is fully healed, and being open about the situation with trusted individuals can help ensure they understand the situation's complexities.

    • Understanding Parents' Complex ChoicesRecognizing parents' actions might not be about us directly can help heal and rebuild relationships. Setting clear boundaries and seeking support are essential steps towards healing.

      Understanding the complexities behind our parents' actions can help us feel less rejected and abandoned. It's essential to recognize that their choices might not be about us directly but rather about their own needs and desires. In this case, the father may have felt a strong need to validate himself through his relationship with someone else, leading him to prioritize that relationship over his connection with his child. Reaching out to him with love and respect, while setting clear boundaries, could be a step towards healing and rebuilding the father-child relationship. Additionally, it's crucial to lean on supportive friends and resources during this challenging time.

    • Maintaining relationships with family despite disappointments leads to personal growthAcknowledging and addressing challenges in family relationships can lead to personal growth and improved relationships in the future. Seek support and communicate openly to navigate complex dynamics.

      Maintaining relationships with family, even when they disappoint us, can lead to personal growth and fewer regrets in the future. It's important to communicate openly and express gratitude, even during difficult times. In the speaker's experience, acknowledging the impact of a challenging relationship with his father allowed him to use it as motivation to become a better person. Additionally, seeking support from others, whether through accountability buddies or resources like Al-Anon, can be helpful in navigating complex family dynamics. The speaker's discovery of a perfect-fitting bra from 3rd Love served as a reminder of the importance of finding solutions to everyday problems and investing in personal comfort and confidence. Ultimately, acknowledging and addressing challenges in our relationships can lead to personal growth and improved relationships in the future.

    • Unexpected discoveries in a partner's belongingsFinding unexpected items in a partner's belongings can lead to questions and concerns, but it's important to approach the situation with open communication and understanding.

      Discovering unexpected items in a partner's belongings can raise questions and concerns, even in a trusting relationship. In this case, finding ED medication and used wrappers led the speaker to ponder if her partner was hiding other secrets. However, she acknowledged that this could also be a sign of a change in their sex life or even his personal use. Ultimately, she decided to address the issue with him, but was hesitant due to the initial discovery being unintentional and potential awkwardness. The conversation revealed that they had been dating long distance for over a year and he was soon moving to her location, indicating a serious relationship. The speaker's curiosity about the origin and use of the medication among younger men also emerged during the discussion.

    • Communicating about sensitive topics in relationshipsIn a healthy relationship, open and honest communication is vital. Discussing sensitive topics like medication use requires empathy, understanding, and a goal of deepening the connection, rather than causing mistrust and insecurity.

      Open and honest communication is essential in a healthy relationship. The discussion revolves around a situation where a partner might be using medication for erectile dysfunction without informing their significant other. While it's understandable that the user might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable disclosing this information, it's crucial to remember that withholding such information can lead to feelings of mistrust and insecurity. Instead, approaching the conversation with empathy, understanding, and a goal of increased connection can help create a productive dialogue. Framing the conversation as an opportunity to deepen the relationship and become more open with one another can make the conversation less confrontational and more beneficial for both parties. It's important to remember that everyone has secrets or things they're uncomfortable sharing, but in a committed relationship, it's essential to prioritize open and honest communication to build trust and strengthen the bond between partners.

    • Communicate openly and honestlyApproach uncomfortable situations directly, set the precedent for open communication, and create a trusting environment for sharing vulnerabilities

      Communication is key in a relationship. When you discover something that makes you doubt or feel uncomfortable, it's important to approach the situation directly and honestly. Hiding the truth or beating around the bush only validates the behavior and creates more uncertainty. It's essential to set the precedent of open and honest communication, even when it's tough. By not addressing the issue, you may fuel your fears and doubts, potentially causing more significant problems down the line. Be compassionate and understanding when bringing up sensitive topics, but also be firm in setting boundaries and not tolerating disrespectful behavior. Ultimately, the goal is to create a safe and trusting environment where both partners feel comfortable sharing vulnerabilities and exploring new ideas together.

    • Expressing feelings and clarifying misunderstandings in long-distance relationshipsEffective communication involves compassion, honesty, clear expectations, and active listening to build trust, deepen connections, and resolve issues.

      Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, especially in long-distance relationships. It's essential to approach conversations with compassion, without judgment, and with clear expectations. If something confusing or concerning arises, it's important to express your feelings and ask questions to clarify the situation. Trusting your gut and being honest are key. While it may feel uncomfortable or vulnerable, bringing notes into a conversation can help ensure that important points are not forgotten and emotions are managed. Effective communication can help build trust, deepen connections, and resolve potential issues. Remember, the goal is to stay connected and be on the same page.

    • Challenges of having difficult conversations, especially those involving vulnerability or intimacySelf-reflection and prioritizing one's own well-being are crucial during difficult conversations, especially when dealing with unhealthy patterns in relationships.

      Having difficult conversations, especially those involving vulnerability or intimacy, can be challenging for some people due to various reasons, including processing disorders. Reagan, a 28-year-old woman, shared her experience of freezing during such conversations and feeling incompetent and trapped. She also mentioned that she once lived with her ex-boyfriend, who had a history of addiction, and they had broken up unexpectedly, leaving her in a difficult financial situation. Despite her concerns about his habits and their future, she continued to live with him due to financial constraints and a desire to stay close. The situation highlighted the importance of self-reflection and considering one's own well-being, especially when dealing with a pattern of unhealthy relationships. The conversation also touched upon the use of notes during difficult conversations and its potential benefits or drawbacks.

    • Letting go of a toxic relationshipFocus on own healing, prioritize self-care, and consider moving on from a draining relationship despite potential financial hardships.

      It may be time to let go of a relationship where the other person is struggling with addiction and potential personality disorders. The speaker has been trying to help, but the situation is taking a toll on her emotionally and financially. She has tried to involve a friend and has considered seeking professional help for her partner, but his denial and aggressive responses make it clear that this is not her responsibility. The speaker's priority should be focusing on her own healing and moving forward in her life. She may need to consider moving out of their shared living space and finding a new place to live, even if it means temporary financial hardship. It's important for her to remember that she is not his caregiver or guardian and that she deserves to live a life free from the stress and heartache of trying to help someone who may not be willing to change.

    • Focus on options without self-judgmentIt's important to prioritize your well-being and make decisions based on what's best for you, even if it means facing temporary challenges.

      When facing unexpected life changes, it's essential to focus on your options without self-judgment and take action. In this situation, if you're single and considering canceling a trip with an unhealthy partner, it's crucial to remember that you have the right to make decisions based on what's best for you, even if it means facing temporary financial or logistical challenges. Don't waste time and energy on toxic relationships or situations that don't serve your growth. Instead, take a step back, assess your options, and prioritize your well-being. Remember, the short-term inconvenience is worth the long-term benefits.

    • Communicating about Unhealthy Living SituationsPrioritize safety and mental health, communicate openly, respectfully, and seek help if necessary. Don't cling to unhealthy situations or possessions, focus on personal well-being and happiness.

      It's important to prioritize safety and mental health in relationships and living situations. When it becomes clear that living together is not healthy or safe, it's essential to communicate openly and respectfully with your partner about finding a solution. This may involve asking them to leave or seeking help from mutual friends. It's crucial not to cling to material possessions or situations out of a scarcity mentality, as life's challenges are temporary. Instead, focus on making decisions that prioritize personal well-being and happiness. Remember that people can change their lives in a short amount of time, and it's important to fight for yourself and not waste time on unhealthy relationships. Ultimately, it's up to each individual to make the best decision for their own well-being and happiness.

    • The power of personal choicesYour choices shape your life, learn from mistakes, prioritize happiness, and never stop making positive changes.

      You have the power to shape your own life through the choices you make. It's easy to believe that everything will work out, especially if you've grown up with privileges. But the reality is, your choices matter, and they can lead you down positive or negative paths. It's important to learn from your mistakes and make changes when necessary. Don't let fear of hurting someone else's feelings hold you back from making decisions that are best for you. Remember, your life is yours to live, and it's never too late to make changes, even if it feels inconvenient or difficult. Keep this in mind as you navigate through life, especially during your twenties when it may seem like everything will work out on its own. And always prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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    @justinkaphillips
    @dereklanerussell 

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    00:00 - Intro
    03:19 - Household Headlines
    08:08 - Famous Wife
    14:50 - The Wives
    17:08 - Oh Brother
    21:53 - Space and Oceans
    26:07 - Childhood Shows and Cars
    31:33 - Moving
    33:35 - Nepo Babies
    35:39 - Love Island
    50:18 - Loans
    55:40 - Welcome
    01:03:08 - Vanderpump
    01:17:42 - The Valley
    01:21:30 - Guests
    01:25:11 - Bachelor
    01:35:16 - Two Lalas
    01:37:52 - RHONJ
    01:51:00 - The Franchise
    01:52:32 - Perfect Match
    02:05:06 - Ending Interview
    02:11:38 - More Perfect Match
    02:13:39 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 25, 2024

    E766 Ask Nick - He’s Choosing His Family

    E766 Ask Nick - He’s Choosing His Family

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by responding to our previous Ask Nick’s comments. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller is wondering if she should tell a coworker about his girlfriend’s affair. Our second caller feels like her boyfriend goes mute around her family. And, our third caller wants to move, but her boyfriend wants to stay close to his family. 

    “You’re literally talking to a version of your boyfriend right now”

    Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ 

    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. 

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! 

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 24, 2024

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    E765 RR - Perfect Match w/ Stevan, Brian Baumgartner, Love Island, Gypsy Rose, & Justin Timberlake Arrest

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Reality Recap.

    This is a fun episode! Brian Baugartner, from the Office, joins us to talk all things barbecue and build his perfect reality tv cast. Meanwhile, Stevan Ditter from Perfect Match zooms in to talk all things drama in the villa… How was his experience? How is he with Alara? What is he doing now? 

    “We have to ask you, did he kiss Melinda?” 

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. 

    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

    Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301

    Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038

    Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:59 - Household Headlines
    07:40 - Rihanna
    09:46 - Stay At Home GF
    13:33 - Icks
    17:46 - Filming
    18:37 - Proposals
    24:13 - 90 Day Fiance
    27:19 - Gypsy Rose
    29:19 - Clayton
    32:33 - Love Island
    42:02 - Welcome Brian
    01:03:26 - Getting Grilled
    01:11:40 - TikTok
    01:13:33 - Build Your Burger
    01:24:40 - Reality TV
    01:28:45 - Book Promo
    01:33:03 - The Office
    01:35:29 - Perfect Match
    01:36:50 - Stevan
    01:56:51 - Perfect Match Final Thoughts
    02:03:09 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 20, 2024

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we start off with Nick’s first Father’s Day. Then we get to our drama: Kenya Moore being indefinitely suspended from the current season of RHOA, Football Player, Isaiah Bugs being arrested AGAIN, and Lindsay Hubbard being grilled at the Summer House Reunion Part 2. Meanwhile, Elys Hutchinson from Perfect Match joins us to talk about her experience on the show!

    “you know what? I was wrong.”

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com 

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:55 - Father’s Day
    08:11 - Housekeeping
    11:40 - RHOA
    19:38 - Football
    22:03 - Bachelor Credit
    23:04 - Red Lobster
    30:33 - The Apprentice
    43:28 - Jenn’s Men
    01:08:55 - Picking Noses
    01:14:59 - Summerhouse
    01:33:39 - Perfect Match
    01:40:19 - Elys Joins
    02:02:19 - More Perfect Match
    02:06:20 - RHONJ
    02:11:46 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 18, 2024

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by addressing your gentle parenting responses and diving into the ideal dating expectations of men. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller wants to shoot her shot with a professional athlete. Our second caller is back with her ex, and is afraid to tell her parents. Finally, our third caller is thriving in her occupational industry but is afraid it turns off the men she’s dating.

    “As a woman who’s very successful and passionate about her career, that should never feel like a negative for you”

    Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ 

    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes. 

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: https://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice, send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line! 

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 17, 2024

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Summer House’ West Wilson. 

    To start things out, we invite Tolú Ekundare from Netflix’s Perfect Match… She shares her experience matching with Izzy Zapata, Dom Gabriel, and Chris Hahn. Then we get to our interview with West. How was his first season? Who does he still talk to? Does he regret his relationship with Ciara?

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” 

     Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ 

     Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

    Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301

    Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0J6DW1KeDX6SpoVEuQpl7z?si=c35995a56b8d4038

    Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w

    To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com 

    If you would like to get some texting advice on Office Hours send an email to asknick@theviallfiles.com with “Texting Office Hours” in the subject line!

    To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://www.advertisecast.com/TheViallFiles 

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    Episode Socials:
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    @justinkaphillips
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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    05:48 - Household Headlines
    12:23 - Love Island
    17:57 - Summerhouse Drama
    21:05 - Captain Lee
    25:39 - Sleep Training
    31:08 - Age
    34:28 - Tolú Interview
    57:10 - Feedback
    01:10:22 - West Interview
    01:17:01 - New To Bravo
    01:19:55 - Saying Weird Things
    01:21:35 - Bachelor
    01:22:37 - Selfie
    01:30:54 - Your Heart
    01:43:15 - Love Languages
    01:50:26 - Dads
    01:54:12 - Team Carl
    01:59:55 - Her Take
    02:04:27 - Open
    02:14:39 - TOH
    02:30:00 - What Is Next
    02:32:52 - Ciara
    02:48:04 - Sports
    02:48:45 - Off Your Chest
    02:49:28 - Coming on ViFi
    02:53:59 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 13, 2024

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