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    E87 Ask Nick - Stuff That Makes Us Feel Bad with Maria Viall

    enFebruary 03, 2020

    Podcast Summary

    • Our complex relationship with food and emotionsUnderstanding emotions and seeking help are key to making positive changes, but willpower alone may not be enough to overcome deeply ingrained habits.

      Our relationship with food can be complex and emotional, leading to feelings of shame and continued unhealthy choices despite knowing the negative consequences. This pattern is not unique to food, as it can also apply to relationships and other areas of life. Trust and self-awareness are crucial in making positive changes, but it's essential to remember that willpower alone may not be enough to overcome deeply ingrained habits and emotions. Additionally, the importance of nourishing our emotional and physical well-being was emphasized, with the reminder that we cannot survive on instant gratification alone. So, in the imperfect world we live in, let's strive to make better choices, buckle up, and remember that it's okay to ask for help along the way.

    • Lost trust in food decisions leads to emotional eatingRebuilding trust in healthy food choices takes time and effort, but leads to long-term benefits.

      People often engage in unhealthy eating habits not due to a lack of willpower, but because they've lost trust in their decision-making around food. This can lead to emotional eating, where individuals make choices they know will make them feel uncomfortable or bad in the moment, but provide a sense of comfort due to familiarity with the outcome. This cycle can be hard to break as the discomfort of making different choices can be unsettling. It's essential to recognize this pattern and work on rebuilding trust in healthy food choices, even if the outcome is uncertain. This takes time and effort, but the long-term benefits are worth it. Food is just one area where this phenomenon occurs; it can also manifest in unhealthy relationships. The comfort of the known, even if it's ultimately harmful, can be hard to resist.

    • Mind and Body Connection during EatingOur thoughts and emotions can impact digestion, causing discomfort when eating with stress or negative thoughts. Make conscious choices and enjoy the experience to support digestion and overall well-being.

      The connection between our mind and body is stronger than we may realize. Our thoughts and emotions can significantly impact how we digest food, even before we take a bite. When we approach eating with stress or negative thoughts, our body may respond as if we're in a state of survival, shutting down digestion and causing discomfort. Instead, it's recommended to make conscious choices about what we eat and to try and enjoy the experience without judgment or anxiety. If we do choose to indulge in something that we know may not agree with us, it's important to do so mindfully and without guilt, rather than beating ourselves up emotionally. Ultimately, the key is to find a balance that works for us, making choices that nourish our bodies and minds, while also allowing for the occasional treat.

    • Moving past food shame and focusing on small changesInstead of dwelling on imperfect food choices, take small pauses to make healthier decisions. Perfection is unattainable, focus on guidelines and consistent changes. Food is personal, remember to prioritize self-compassion and seek resources for healthy habits.

      It's important to recognize and move past the shame around food and understand that everyone has imperfect days. Instead of dwelling on small decisions, try making small detours that can lead to healthier choices over time. For example, if you're craving a bag of chips, take a few deep breaths before giving in. This pause may give you the opportunity to choose differently. Remember, perfection is not attainable, and focusing too much on small details can perpetuate poor habits. Instead, focus on guidelines and making small, consistent changes. It's also important to remember that food is personal, and everyone's relationship with it is unique. For more information and tips on healthy eating, check out Maria Vile's programs and Instagram account, Natural Habits. And, don't forget to listen to our next episode for more helpful tips and advice.

    • Exploring the Role of Technology in Convenience and EfficiencyCipstation simplifies shipping processes with real-time updates, while HelloFresh saves time and reduces food waste with meal delivery services. Consider emotional readiness when starting a relationship with a married person, and take advantage of Cipstation's free trial and HelloFresh's discounted meals.

      Technology is making our lives more convenient and efficient in various ways. Cipstation, for instance, helps business owners manage their shipping processes and receive real-time updates through alerts on their phones. On the other hand, HelloFresh offers meal delivery services that save time and reduce food waste, catering to our busy lifestyles. During the conversation, a listener shared her dilemma about starting a relationship with a man who is still legally married. The advice given was to consider the emotional readiness of the person and the potential ties that still exist to their past relationship. In this case, the man's emotional state, shared through vague expressions, and the presence of shared pets were the concerns. The conversation ended with promotions for both Cipstation and HelloFresh. Cipstation offers a free 60-day trial using the code 'vial', while HelloFresh provides 10 free meals and free shipping with the code 'viall10'. Overall, the discussion emphasized the benefits of technology in business and personal life and offered practical solutions to everyday problems.

    • Navigating a Complex RelationshipUncertainty and communication are key in complex relationships. Clarify relationship status and feelings to move forward.

      The speaker is in a complicated situation with a man she's been seeing for several months, who treats her like a girlfriend but hasn't labeled their relationship. She's unsure if he's ready for a serious commitment due to his recent divorce and potential discomfort with having a wife and girlfriend. The speaker is also unsure if his treatment of her is a sign of where their relationship is headed or just how he naturally treats women. She's mindful of his past marriage and the potential issues it may bring, but also values the connection they have and her feelings for him. Ultimately, she's unsure what she wants from the relationship and is taking things slow. It's important for her to communicate with him about her concerns and feelings to clarify their relationship status and move forward.

    • Comparing finding a perfect bra to a relationshipSelf-awareness, communication, and comfort are essential in both finding the right bra and building a healthy relationship.

      Finding the perfect bra, just like finding the right relationship, requires self-awareness and communication. ThirdLove, a bra brand known for its size inclusivity and comfortable fit, offers a fit finder quiz to help customers find their perfect bra. The speaker highly recommends the 247 classic t-shirt bra for its comfort and seamless look under clothing. However, she also shares her apprehension about a personal relationship, where she fears voicing concerns might confirm her fears. The analogy between finding a perfect bra and a relationship highlights the importance of being comfortable and open in both situations. ThirdLove's mission to donate gently used return bras to women in need also adds to its appeal as a socially responsible brand. Overall, the discussion emphasizes the significance of self-discovery, communication, and emotional connection in both personal and product choices. ThirdLove's 15% discount offer for first-time customers can be accessed using the code "vial" at 3rdlove.com.

    • Effective communication in relationshipsCreate a safe space for open communication, listen attentively, avoid passive-aggressiveness, be patient, and understand that everyone grieves and heals at their own pace.

      Effective communication is key in any relationship, whether it's casual or serious. It's important to create a safe space where your partner feels comfortable expressing their feelings without fear of judgment. Even if you're not ready for a committed relationship, you can still have meaningful conversations and build a connection by being there for them and listening attentively. Being passive-aggressive or indirect in your communication can hinder the relationship and make your partner less likely to open up to you. It's also important to remember that everyone grieves and heals at their own pace, and it's essential to be patient and understanding during the process. In summary, effective communication, empathy, and patience are crucial elements in building a strong and healthy relationship.

    • Having tough conversations is crucial for building trust and understandingCommunicating openly and having difficult conversations builds trust and strengthens relationships

      Communication is crucial in any relationship. Being able to have tough conversations and ask difficult questions, even if it makes both parties uncomfortable, is essential for building trust and understanding. Avoiding these conversations only delays the inevitable and may result in one partner feeling used or as a rebound. It's important to create a safe space for open communication, allowing both partners to express their feelings and concerns, even if the answers are not what we want to hear. This approach ultimately leads to clarity and a stronger relationship. Additionally, seeking advice from friends can be helpful, but it's essential to establish a direct line of communication with your partner and focus on building a relationship based on mutual trust and openness.

    • Facing Fears and UncertaintiesEmbrace uncertainty, seek accurate info, and make informed decisions to reduce stress and anxiety.

      Avoiding information or situations out of fear can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety. The speaker shared an analogy of avoiding getting on a scale and instead obsessing about it, which can be applied to various aspects of life, including health concerns and relationships. The fear of finding out the truth can sometimes be worse than the truth itself. Seeking advice from unqualified sources, such as friends, can also add to the confusion and stress. Instead, it's essential to face our fears and uncertainties head-on and make informed decisions based on accurate information. The speaker's experience of hooking up with an Uber driver and later discovering he was engaged serves as a reminder that sometimes, things aren't always as they seem, and it's crucial to be honest and clear with ourselves and others. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of embracing uncertainty and seeking knowledge to make informed decisions and reduce stress and anxiety.

    • One-night stand with an Uber driver leads to ethical dilemmaConsider all perspectives and potential consequences before making decisions, especially in complex ethical situations. Honesty and communication are crucial in maintaining healthy relationships.

      People often make assumptions about situations based on limited information, and these assumptions can lead to unexpected outcomes. In the discussed scenario, a woman had a one-night stand with an Uber driver, later discovering he was engaged. She was shocked and felt gross about the situation, but was unsure if she should tell his fiancée. The conversation highlighted the complexity of ethical dilemmas and the importance of considering all perspectives. Ultimately, it's essential to remember that every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all answer. It's crucial to weigh the potential consequences of our actions and make informed decisions based on the available information. The discussion also touched upon the importance of honesty and communication in relationships.

    • Should I reveal a fiancé's infidelity anonymously?Consider the potential consequences before revealing someone's infidelity anonymously. Weigh the benefits and drawbacks and respect the involved parties' feelings.

      While it's not a clear-cut obligation to reveal another person's infidelity, considering the potential consequences and the feelings of those involved is important. The discussion revolves around the ethical dilemma of whether to anonymously inform a woman about her fiancé's infidelity, which was discovered when the speaker was an Uber passenger. Some argue that it's a good deed to save her from a potential future divorce, while others believe it's not the speaker's responsibility and could lead to negative consequences. The group suggests creating a fake account to inform her anonymously, but it's essential to consider the woman's perspective and her comfort level with the situation before taking any action. Ultimately, it's a complex issue with no easy answer, and individuals must weigh the potential benefits and drawbacks before making a decision.

    • Handling unexpected encounters with discretionBe truthful but discreet, ask for permission, and avoid unnecessary details to minimize fallout from unexpected encounters.

      A casual encounter between two people, even if it involves a potential partner's fiancé, doesn't necessarily have to lead to a major crisis if handled carefully. The discussion revolved around a situation where a woman had an unexpected encounter with her fiancé's Uber driver, which led to a brief sexual encounter. The group's analysis revealed that there were ways to minimize the potential fallout, such as being truthful but discreet, asking for permission from the friend involved, and avoiding unnecessary details. They also acknowledged that there was a risk of discovery, but the focus should be on managing the situation rather than dwelling on guilt or judgment. Ultimately, the group agreed that everyone makes mistakes and that it's important to learn from them while being mindful of others' feelings.

    • Sharing sensitive information with careConsider motivation before sharing sensitive info, respect boundaries, communicate openly, and find solutions together.

      Sharing information about someone's infidelity, or any other sensitive matter, should be done with careful consideration. The motivation behind sharing such information is crucial. It's essential not to do it to seek revenge or hurt someone. Instead, it's about giving the person involved the opportunity to make their own decisions. However, it's important to remember that it's not always the responsibility of the person with the information to share it. Ignorance may seem blissful, but it can lead to unexpected consequences. In the context of the discussion, a woman was seeking advice about her husband's refusal to perform oral sex on her despite their agreement to abstain before marriage. The speakers suggested that she communicate her feelings openly with him and consider the possibility that he might have his reasons for not prioritizing it. They also emphasized that it's essential to respect each other's boundaries and work together to find solutions to any issues in a relationship.

    • Communication is key in addressing sexual concernsEffective communication can help resolve sexual issues by addressing concerns, building understanding, and fostering mutual respect.

      Communication and understanding are key in maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship. The discussion reveals a couple where one partner is unwilling to perform oral sex on their spouse due to various excuses, including body odor and insecurity. The unwillingness to communicate openly about the issue causes distress and frustration for the other partner. It's important to remember that everyone's bodies are different, and it's essential to address any concerns or discomforts through open and respectful dialogue. In this situation, the unwilling partner may be avoiding the issue due to personal insecurities or past experiences. It's crucial for both partners to prioritize each other's needs and work together to find solutions that benefit both parties. If communication fails, it may be necessary to seek the advice of a relationship counselor or therapist to help navigate the issue and find a resolution.

    • Communication and understanding in sexual relationshipsEffective communication is crucial for sexual satisfaction. Address concerns without blame, prioritize feelings, and seek professional help if necessary.

      Effective communication and understanding are crucial in a sexual relationship. If one partner feels neglected or undervalued, it's essential to address the issue and make the other partner aware of their feelings. The conversation should not be about blame or accusations, but rather an expression of concern and a desire for intimacy and mutual satisfaction. If the issue persists, seeking professional help, such as therapy, may be necessary. It's important to remember that sexual satisfaction is about more than just the act itself; it's about feeling valued, prioritized, and loved. If these feelings are not reciprocated, it's important to advocate for your own needs and seek help to find a resolution.

    • Open communication is key to a satisfying sexual relationshipHonest and open communication is essential for addressing sexual issues and working towards mutual satisfaction. Men should check in and be open to feedback, and women should feel comfortable expressing their desires and needs without societal pressure.

      Open communication is crucial in maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship. The speaker shared her experience of feeling uncomfortable discussing her own sexual needs and satisfaction with her partner, leading to a lack of balance in their sexual encounters. She also mentioned the societal pressure on women to be the pleasing lover, which can prevent them from expressing their own desires and needs. The speaker emphasized the importance of men checking in and being open to feedback, rather than assuming they are adequate in bed. She suggested approaching the issue as a couple's problem to be solved together, rather than a personal failure, and considering seeking outside help if necessary. Overall, the conversation highlighted the importance of honest and open communication in addressing sexual issues and working towards mutual satisfaction.

    • Setting Boundaries in Relationships: Insincere Apologies and the Need for Genuine ActionsAccepting insincere apologies and not demanding genuine actions can hinder progress in relationships. Set boundaries and consider couple therapy for effective communication and growth.

      While it's important to communicate and address issues in a relationship, accepting insincere apologies and not demanding genuine actions can hinder progress. It's crucial to set boundaries and consider professional couple therapy if needed. Maria's experience of recognizing her norms in marriage and realizing her dissatisfaction with them resonates with many. For more insights from Maria and wellness tips, visit mariaveyle.com and follow Natural Habits on Instagram. Remember, NHOils.com offers 30% off all essential oils. Maria, thank you for joining and sharing your perspective. Keep sending in your questions to asknick@kasmu.com. Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan, with its 85-year history, is committed to providing award-winning technology and quality care whenever and wherever you need it.

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    The Viall Files
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    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    E764 RR - Summer House, Perfect Match w/ Elys, Bach Bios, Kenya Moore Suspended, and RHONJ

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we start off with Nick’s first Father’s Day. Then we get to our drama: Kenya Moore being indefinitely suspended from the current season of RHOA, Football Player, Isaiah Bugs being arrested AGAIN, and Lindsay Hubbard being grilled at the Summer House Reunion Part 2. Meanwhile, Elys Hutchinson from Perfect Match joins us to talk about her experience on the show!

    “you know what? I was wrong.”

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:55 - Father’s Day
    08:11 - Housekeeping
    11:40 - RHOA
    19:38 - Football
    22:03 - Bachelor Credit
    23:04 - Red Lobster
    30:33 - The Apprentice
    43:28 - Jenn’s Men
    01:08:55 - Picking Noses
    01:14:59 - Summerhouse
    01:33:39 - Perfect Match
    01:40:19 - Elys Joins
    02:02:19 - More Perfect Match
    02:06:20 - RHONJ
    02:11:46 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 18, 2024

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    E763 Ask Nick - Flirting With an NHL Player

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! We start off the episode by addressing your gentle parenting responses and diving into the ideal dating expectations of men. Then we get to our callers… 

    Our first caller wants to shoot her shot with a professional athlete. Our second caller is back with her ex, and is afraid to tell her parents. Finally, our third caller is thriving in her occupational industry but is afraid it turns off the men she’s dating.

    “As a woman who’s very successful and passionate about her career, that should never feel like a negative for you”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 17, 2024

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    E762 GD w/ West Wilson - Summer House, Girlcode, Sleep Training, and Perfect Match with Tolú

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper, with Summer House’ West Wilson. 

    To start things out, we invite Tolú Ekundare from Netflix’s Perfect Match… She shares her experience matching with Izzy Zapata, Dom Gabriel, and Chris Hahn. Then we get to our interview with West. How was his first season? Who does he still talk to? Does he regret his relationship with Ciara?

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” 

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    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

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    Timestamps:
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    05:48 - Household Headlines
    12:23 - Love Island
    17:57 - Summerhouse Drama
    21:05 - Captain Lee
    25:39 - Sleep Training
    31:08 - Age
    34:28 - Tolú Interview
    57:10 - Feedback
    01:10:22 - West Interview
    01:17:01 - New To Bravo
    01:19:55 - Saying Weird Things
    01:21:35 - Bachelor
    01:22:37 - Selfie
    01:30:54 - Your Heart
    01:43:15 - Love Languages
    01:50:26 - Dads
    01:54:12 - Team Carl
    01:59:55 - Her Take
    02:04:27 - Open
    02:14:39 - TOH
    02:30:00 - What Is Next
    02:32:52 - Ciara
    02:48:04 - Sports
    02:48:45 - Off Your Chest
    02:49:28 - Coming on ViFi
    02:53:59 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 13, 2024

    E761 RR - Summer House Reunion, Perfect Match w/ Kaz, Sandoval Drama, and Traitors Cast

    E761 RR - Summer House Reunion, Perfect Match w/ Kaz, Sandoval Drama, and Traitors Cast

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we discuss all of the drama… ranging from Billie Lee slamming Sandoval’s new girlfriend, West Wilson getting grilled during the Summer House Reunion Part 1, Traitors cast announcement, and Jesse Lally having an affair with Anna Nicole Smith. Meanwhile, Kaz Bishop, from The Perfect Match zooms in! What’s it like back on TV, who does he want to match with, and does he regret anything? 

    “All I'm hearing is you’re a bottom feeder” 

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    3:54 - Bottom Feeders and Traitors
    18:56 - Traitors New Cast
    23:09 - Alec Baldwin
    24:09 - Kids
    30:12 - Kaz Interview
    01:01:34 - Perfect Match Thoughts
    01:04:54 - Summerhouse
    01:37:02 - The Valley
    01:38:34 - Stalkers
    01:45:25 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 11, 2024

    E760 Ask Nick - Carrying My BFF’s Baby

    E760 Ask Nick - Carrying My BFF’s Baby

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Before we get to our callers, we talk about menu anxiety and gentle parenting. Then we get to our callers…

    Our first caller is carrying her best friend's baby, but her mother and law doesn’t approve. Our Second caller is a single mom and it’s been 9 years since she’s last called someone her boyfriend. Finally, our third caller feels like the city she lives in makes it impossible to move on from her ex.

    “When you look back at your relationship, was he really the perfect boyfriend?”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 10, 2024

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