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    Erotic Tension & The Power of Yes w/ Dr. Jennifer Freed

    enJuly 31, 2021

    Podcast Summary

    • Elevate Your Summer Sexual ExperiencesEmbrace pleasure with Promescent's delay spray, warming arousal gel, and magic wand for longer-lasting, more enjoyable encounters. Focus on the positive for a satisfying summer.

      Summer is the season of passion and pleasure, and Promescent's line of pleasure-enhancing products can help elevate your experiences. The legendary delay spray allows men to last longer, while the warming arousal gel enhances women's pleasure. The magic wand, an iconic sex toy, offers powerful vibrations for all genders. Additionally, the way we speak about sex and our expectations around it can significantly impact our experiences. By focusing on the positive and embracing pleasure, we can make our sexual encounters more enjoyable and fulfilling. So, make this summer the sexiest one yet by checking out Promescent and the magic wand at their respective websites for exclusive discounts and top-quality products.

    • Transform sex from an expectation to an invitationExpress desires instead of whining, change 'have to' to 'get to', and prioritize connection over performance for deeper sexual experiences and connections

      To get to a fulfilling and satisfying "yes" in sex, it's important to extinguish behaviors based in victim mentality. Instead of saying "I can't" or "I have to," try expressing what you're willing or not willing to do. Change "have to" to "get to" and assert your desires instead of whining. These small shifts can help make sex an invitation rather than an expectation, leading to deeper connection and understanding between partners. Remember, frequency doesn't always equal satisfaction, and it's important to prioritize connection over performance. As Jennifer Freed, a renowned psychological astrologer and social and emotional education trainer, emphasized, "Sex is an expectation instead of an invitation." By making small changes in our mindset and communication, we can transform our sexual experiences and deepen our connections with ourselves and our partners.

    • Changing language and perspective in intimacyCommunicating preferences and focusing on feelings can lead to deeper connections and more enjoyable sexual experiences. Changing 'have to' to 'get to' or 'choose to' can shift mindset and reduce anxieties.

      The power of language and perspective plays a significant role in our experiences, especially in intimate relationships. By changing our language from "have to" to "get to" or "choose to," we can shift our mindset and make our experiences more enjoyable. For vulva owners, taking the time to communicate with our partners about our preferences and feelings can lead to profound connections. The only irrefutable truths are our feelings and sensations, and by focusing on these, we can learn to be more mindful and present in our sexual experiences. This can help reduce performance anxieties and toxic masculinity, allowing us to focus on our own and our partner's pleasure. In summary, the way we communicate and approach intimacy can greatly impact our experiences, and making small changes in language and perspective can lead to more fulfilling and enjoyable sexual encounters.

    • Pressure on men to constantly initiate and perform sexuallySocietal expectations can limit men's experiences to just initiating and performing, ignoring the importance of receiving and being soft, leading to unsatisfying sex and potential depression.

      Societal expectations and historic views of masculinity can create pressure on men to constantly initiate and perform sexually, leading to a lack of emphasis on receiving and being soft. This pressure can result in unsatisfying sexual experiences and even depression, despite the number of sexual encounters. Communication, both verbal and nonverbal, is crucial in creating satisfying and meaningful sexual experiences. Men, like all genders, deserve to explore their emotions and desires beyond societal expectations, and it's essential to remember that sex is more than just a mechanical act. Instead, it's an opportunity for deep connection and intimacy.

    • Explore new ways to connect with your partnerTry new things in the bedroom and have deeper conversations to keep your sex life interesting. Overcome fears of rejection, loss of control, or seeking approval to connect with your partner in new ways. Also, consider trying Hero Bread for low-carb options to enjoy your favorite bread products guilt-free.

      To keep your sex life interesting, try doing something different and connecting with your partner in new ways. This could mean trying new things in the bedroom or having deeper, more vulnerable conversations. The fear of rejection, loss of control, or seeking approval can prevent us from having these conversations, but understanding the root causes can help us overcome these barriers. Additionally, consider trying Hero Bread to enjoy your favorite bread products without the carb guilt. Hero Bread offers delicious, low-carb options that can fit into a healthy lifestyle. So, whether you're looking to spice up your love life or your diet, remember to step out of your comfort zone and try something new.

    • Balancing vulnerability and intimacy in relationshipsBeing honest and vulnerable deepens relationships, but it's important to find a balance and approach conversations with care and consideration. Avoid oversharing with new acquaintances or expecting your partner to be a confidant or therapist.

      Authentic relationships are built on open communication and vulnerability, but it's important to find a balance between revealing too much and preserving intimacy. The gaps in our relationships, caused by fear and unspoken words, can lead to misunderstandings and challenges. However, being honest and vulnerable with a trusted friend or partner can deepen the bond and create a strong connection. It's essential to remember that your partner is not a confidant or therapist, and revealing too much too soon can be overwhelming. Intimacy is earned through shared experiences and trust, and it's important to approach conversations with care and consideration. Don't expect your partner to be your mother, father, or therapist, and avoid oversharing on first dates or with new acquaintances. Instead, focus on building a foundation of trust and shared experiences to foster a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

    • Building Intimacy Through VulnerabilityShare vulnerabilities with trusted individuals carefully and positively to build intimacy, avoid revealing hurtful or unrealistic things, and maintain tension in relationships.

      Intimacy is built through careful and considerate sharing of vulnerabilities with trusted individuals. It's not about throwing everything out at once and hoping it sticks. Instead, it's a dance where both parties reveal secrets and vulnerabilities bit by bit. It's essential to know who you're talking to and trust that they'll listen and respond in a positive way. This approach helps maintain tension in relationships, whether platonic or romantic. However, it's important to avoid revealing hurtful or unrealistic things. Instead, focus on expressing feelings and desires in a positive and inviting way. For example, instead of criticizing a partner's weight gain or a dog's presence during sex, express your attraction to their fitness or suggest finding a solution to keep the dog out of the bedroom. By leading with feelings and having healthy conversations, you can avoid resentments and keep your relationships strong.

    • Focus on individual relationships, not gender or past experiencesBuilding meaningful relationships requires openness, understanding, clear communication, respect for each other's desires and intentions, and recognizing the importance of individual experiences and perspectives.

      It's essential to focus on the individual relationships we have with people, rather than generalizing based on gender or past experiences. When it comes to building connections, it's crucial to look beyond superficial identities and get to know the person for who they truly are. This approach can help us avoid misunderstandings and foster positive relationships. Another key point discussed was the importance of clear communication and respecting each other's desires and intentions in relationships. Timing is also a significant factor, and it's important to be honest about our own intentions and give others the space and time they need to make decisions. Ultimately, building meaningful relationships requires openness, understanding, and respect for each other's unique experiences and perspectives.

    • Setting time limits and seeking honest friendsIdentify unhealthy relationships by setting time limits and seeking honest feedback from friends. Look for sensual lovers who touch affectionately, appreciate senses, and savor life.

      Setting time limits in relationships and having honest friends who challenge us can help us assess and improve our relationships. We often get trapped in unhealthy situations due to our addiction to emotional drama or "emo porn," which can make us overlook the importance of satisfying and sensual connections. To identify a sensual lover, look for those who touch you affectionately, have a strong appreciation for food and other senses, and savor the deliciousness of life. Remember, everyone has unique love languages and preferences, and it's essential to recognize and respect them. Setting boundaries, seeking honest feedback, and embracing sensuality can lead to more fulfilling relationships.

    • Understanding compatibility goes beyond sun signsEffective communication, shared love languages, and open conversations are essential for navigating relationship complexities and fostering growth.

      Compatibility in relationships goes beyond sun signs and involves understanding the complexities of each other's astrological charts and personal experiences. Love languages, such as touch, can present challenges in relationships if not mutually shared, but with effort and communication, these differences can be reconciled. Furthermore, every relationship is an opportunity for growth and learning, and open conversations about desires and turn-ons are essential for exploring new dimensions in a partnership. When considering an open relationship or fulfilling a fantasy like a threesome, it's crucial to approach the topic with care and open-ended conversations about sexual satisfaction and desires.

    • Having open conversations about fantasies and desires is crucial before exploring new sexual experiences.Discuss your partner's fantasies, consider EMDR therapy for past traumas, and remember that low libido is common and can be addressed through new desires and experiences.

      Before exploring the idea of a threesome or any other sexual exploration, it's essential to have open and honest conversations with your partner about their fantasies and desires. This foundation of understanding is crucial to ensure that both parties are on the same page and can avoid potential misunderstandings or negative outcomes. Another important topic discussed was EMDR therapy, which is a well-tested cognitive behavioral therapy used to undo traumatic responses emotionally and physically. It's a valuable resource for those seeking to heal from past experiences and rewire their neuro pathways. Lastly, it's important to remember that sexual issues, such as low libido, are common and often not a sign of a deeper problem. Instead, it may be a matter of exploring new desires and reigniting the passion in a long-term relationship.

    • Exploring new things and rekindling attraction in long-term relationshipsFocus on communication, courtship, and novelty to rebuild intimacy and sexual connection in long-term relationships, even if that means taking a break from penetrative sex.

      Rebuilding intimacy and sexual connection in a long-term relationship involves exploring new things, rekindling the novelty and attraction that existed in the beginning, and focusing on communication and courtship. This can be achieved by setting aside time to reconnect, taking penetrative sex off the table, and participating in activities that foster intimacy and vulnerability. It's important to remember that the frequency and intensity of sex in the beginning of a relationship is not sustainable or realistic for the long term. Instead, couples should focus on continuing to build and nurture their connection through ongoing communication and exploration. Jennifer Fried, astrologer and relationship expert, emphasizes the importance of courtship and novelty in maintaining a strong sexual connection, even in long-term relationships. She recommends taking a break from penetrative sex and focusing on rebuilding the relationship through activities and communication. To learn more from Jennifer, follow her on Instagram @drjenniferfried or sign up for her once-a-month Venus seminar at jenniferfried.com.

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