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    Jocko Underground: Self Confidence | Overcoming Fear of Confrontation

    enJune 17, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Child's environment and relationshipsA child's confidence can be impacted by their environment and relationships with significant adults. Open communication, collaboration, and prioritizing the child's needs are crucial for their growth.

      A child's behavior and confidence can be influenced by various factors, including their environment and relationships with significant adults in their life. The speaker, a father, shares his experience of observing his 6-year-old son's lack of confidence when interacting with his mother and new people. Despite the son's enthusiasm about joining a wrestling class, he showed severe anxiety and fear, refusing to participate. The mother, who has primary custody, was reluctant to let the father's family members take the child to practice due to her belief that she should be the one providing consistent care. The father recognizes his own codependency issues but feels that enabling this dynamic could hinder his son's growth. The complex situation highlights the importance of open communication, collaboration, and prioritizing the child's needs and development over adult emotions and convenience.

    • Child's age and new activitiesAt 6, a child's development isn't impacted by missing jujitsu classes. Parents can teach basics at home, reduce intimidation, and make the experience enjoyable.

      A child's age and initial reaction to a new activity, such as jujitsu, should not be a cause for concern for parents. At the age of 6, a child's development is not significantly impacted by not attending jujitsu classes. Instead, parents can bond with their child and teach them the basics of jujitsu at home. This approach can help alleviate any potential intimidation the child may feel about attending classes and can even make the experience more enjoyable for them when they do attend. It's important for parents not to put undue pressure on their child to excel in a particular activity and to remember that it's okay for them to not enjoy every new experience right away. Additionally, involving a friend in the learning process can make the experience even more enjoyable for the child.

    • Starting young vs. starting lateStarting an activity early isn't a prerequisite for success. Making childhood experiences enjoyable and pressure-free can foster a love for the activity and lead to proficiency later on.

      It's essential not to force children into activities they dislike or feel intimidated by at young ages. Ethan, for instance, didn't enjoy jiu jitsu until he was nine years old. The speaker emphasizes that none of the reasons for Ethan's reluctance mattered in the end, as he eventually became proficient in the sport. The speaker also shares anecdotes of people who started late in their chosen fields but still achieved great success. These examples illustrate that starting early is not a prerequisite for success and that it's crucial to make childhood experiences enjoyable and pressure-free. The speaker suggests that parents can encourage their children's interest in jiu jitsu by making it fun, such as practicing at home or during weekends, and avoiding excessive pressure. Ultimately, the key is to foster a love for the activity and let children develop at their own pace.

    • Building child confidenceTrust, listening, respect, influence, and care are crucial for building a strong bond with children and boosting their confidence. Allowing children to influence decisions and accompanying them during new experiences can help ease anxiety and build self-esteem.

      Building a strong relationship with your child based on trust, listening, respect, influence, and care is crucial for their development, especially in boosting their confidence. The speaker emphasized the importance of allowing children to influence decisions and giving them trust, which can lead to a positive impact on their self-esteem. During a new experience, such as joining a jujitsu class, a child might feel uncomfortable and intimidated by unfamiliar people and situations. The speaker suggested that parents should accompany their children to these activities or bring trusted individuals along to help ease their anxiety. By doing so, children will feel more comfortable and confident, knowing that they have support and familiar faces around. The principles of trust, listening, respect, influence, and care are essential in fostering a strong bond between parents and children. By applying these principles, parents can help their children develop confidence and build essential life skills. It's important to remember that these principles require self-control and consistency, but the results can be immediate and significant, particularly in children's confidence levels.

    • Impact of feedback on child's confidenceConsistent negative feedback can negatively impact a child's confidence, while positive reinforcement can empower them. Focusing on correcting mistakes should be balanced with praising good behavior to create a safe and nurturing learning environment.

      Consistent negative feedback can negatively impact a child's confidence, while positive reinforcement can empower them. It's natural for parents to focus on correcting mistakes, but it's essential to put effort into praising good behavior as well. Repeated scoldings for minor infractions can make a child fearful and hesitant to try new things, leading them to avoid making mistakes altogether. Instead, parents should aim to create a nurturing environment where children feel safe to learn and grow, with a focus on positive reinforcement and empowerment. This approach can help foster confidence and resilience in children, enabling them to face challenges with a positive attitude.

    • Responding to mistakesInstead of focusing on correcting errors with negative feedback, praise good attempts and encourage kids/team members to try again for better results.

      The way we respond to our children's mistakes or behaviors can significantly impact their development. Instead of focusing on correcting errors with negative feedback, it's more effective to praise good attempts and encourage them to try again. Consistency is key, as children can sense our emotions and respond accordingly. This approach not only applies to parenting but also to leadership, where the same principles can boost confidence and motivation. The use of positive reinforcement instead of criticism can lead to a noticeable change in behavior. Remember, kids can read our emotions, so it's essential to be mindful of our nonverbal cues as well. By implementing this approach, we can create a more positive and productive learning environment.

    • Jocko Underground platformJocko Podcast is creating an independent platform, Jocko Underground, to provide more control, interaction, and direct communication with listeners, offering benefits like ad-free listening and exclusive content for $8.18 a month, while also accommodating those who can't afford it.

      Jocko Podcast is creating an independent platform, Jocko Underground, to mitigate reliance on external platforms and provide more control, interaction, and direct communication with listeners. This move aims to strengthen their community, known as the "legion of troopers," and offers more benefits like ad-free listening and exclusive content. The subscription costs $8.18 a month, but those who can't afford it can reach out for assistance. This change empowers listeners and the podcast creators to build a stronger connection and community outside the influence of sponsors and external platforms.

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    Tulsi Gabbard (born April 12, 1981) is an American politician, United States Army Reserve officer and political commentator who served as the U.S. representative for Hawaii's 2nd congressional district from 2013 to 2021. Gabbard was the first Hindu member of Congress and also the first Samoan-American voting member of Congress. She was a candidate for the Democratic nomination in the 2020 United States presidential election,[2][3] before leaving the party and becoming an independent in October 2022.



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    Getting out of an environment that does not set you up for success.

    Not feeling like a man because he doesn't contribute financially to the household.

    In Jiu Jitsu, I might be a danger to myself and others.

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