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    Side Effects of Ending a Frienship (with Toni Trucks)

    enSeptember 12, 2018

    Podcast Summary

    • Focusing on meaningful connectionsCherish relationships and experiences, understand that not all friendships last, and focus on equitable exchanges and relatable connections as we get older.

      Life is more than just dealing with diagnoses or challenges; it's about cherishing relationships and experiences that bring joy. Ending a friendship and growing apart are two different things. Sometimes, people grow at different paces, and it becomes harder to relate, which is a natural part of life. It's essential to focus on equitable exchanges and relatable connections as we get older and refine our purpose. As the speaker mentioned, "Sometimes, we just are growing in different lights." It's important to remember that not every friendship lasts forever, and that's okay. Instead, focus on the meaningful connections that enrich your life. For more information about Kaskali ribociclib, visit kisqali.com and speak with your doctor.

    • Ending a friendship can signal personal growthFriendships can end for various reasons, including personal growth. It's essential to assess the reasons and determine if it's necessary, rather than avoiding the situation.

      Ending a friendship can be a necessary step in personal growth, even if it's difficult and traumatic. Sometimes, it's the universe's way of signaling that the friendship has run its course and both parties need to learn important lessons. It's essential to assess the reasons for the friendship and determine if it's truly beneficial or if it's just a debt. Avoidance won't make the situation go away, and it's crucial to distinguish between growing apart and avoidance. Ending a friendship doesn't have to be dramatic or avoidable; it's about understanding the why and the how. It's okay for friendships to end, and it's essential to acknowledge that and deal with the emotions that come with it. Therapy or a safe space can be helpful in processing the feelings.

    • Acknowledging the end of friendshipsRecognize the significance of friendships and mourn their end, even when they naturally fade or grow apart. Embrace the memories and value the impact on your life.

      Friendships, like relationships, require attention and acknowledgement when they come to an end. Whether it's a mutual growth apart or an unintentional fade, it's important to recognize the significance of the friendship and the memories built within it. The speaker emphasizes the importance of mourning the loss and acknowledging the impact the friendship had on your life. They also share an experience of being recognized for their podcast, "Small Doses," and the unexpected connections that can come from sharing experiences with others. Ultimately, the speaker encourages embracing the complexities of friendships and acknowledging their value, even when they come to an end.

    • Friendships can change and sometimes end, not always a personal matterFriendships evolve and sometimes end, focus on self-care and communication to move forward, not all can be salvaged but lessons learned can benefit future relationships

      Friendships, like stars, can change and sometimes even die, and it's important to understand that it's not always a personal matter. People grow apart, and it can be difficult to accept and process. The speaker shares his experiences of drifting apart from old friends and the challenges of rebuilding those relationships. He emphasizes the importance of not taking it personally and recognizing that both parties contribute to the situation. When a friendship ends, it can be mourned like any other loss, and the speaker suggests focusing on self-care and communication to move forward. Ultimately, the speaker acknowledges that not all friendships can be salvaged, but the experience can provide valuable lessons for future relationships.

    • Maintaining healthy friendshipsAcknowledge good times, learn from bad, strive for consistency, communication, and reliability, evaluate reasons for reconnection, and commit to understanding and moving forward.

      Friendships require effort and understanding. We all have our quirks and past mistakes, but the key to maintaining healthy relationships is acknowledging the good times, learning from the bad, and striving for consistency, communication, and reliability. Reconciliation can be worthwhile if both parties have grown and there's genuine desire to connect again. However, it's essential to evaluate the reasons for reconnection and ensure that reconciliation involves acknowledging and accepting each other's faults. Ultimately, friendships are about soul connections, and true reconciliation requires a deep and honest commitment to understanding and moving forward.

    • Bonding over shared experiences of underestimationAuthentic connections and open communication foster deeper relationships. Sharing experiences, even uncomfortable ones, can lead to meaningful connections.

      Authentic connections and open communication are essential for building meaningful relationships. Toni Trucks and the speaker met in an audition room and bonded over shared experiences of being underestimated and tokenized in the entertainment industry. They appreciated each other's honesty and authenticity, which set them apart from others who withheld information or tried to manipulate situations to their advantage. The speaker admired Tony's generosity and her work with "Homes for Families," a charity that builds houses for low-income veteran communities. The conversation underscored the importance of being true to oneself and sharing experiences, even if they are uncomfortable or challenging, as a means of building deeper connections.

    • Embracing Community and Personal InterestsEngaging in community activities and personal hobbies can lead to meaningful connections and a better understanding of oneself and others. Investing in self-care, like therapy, can also significantly improve mental wellbeing.

      Being engaged in the community and pursuing personal interests, even if it means taking a break from routine, can lead to valuable connections and a deeper understanding of oneself and others. The conversation between the speaker and Tony highlighted their shared passion for fighting discrimination and their unique perspectives, formed by their diverse backgrounds. Additionally, the speaker's willingness to invest in a good therapist and the flexibility of their sessions has significantly improved their mental wellbeing. Overall, this discussion emphasizes the importance of staying true to oneself, embracing differences, and making time for self-care.

    • Exclusion in culture based on heritage and financial gainIndividuals should be included in cultural conversations based on dedication, research, and truthfulness, not heritage or financial gain. Identity is complex and can evolve throughout life, requiring self-definition and understanding.

      The criteria for who gets to be a part of certain conversations or benefit financially from specific cultures can be flawed and exclusionary. Quiana, in the discussion, expressed her frustration with being excluded from black American culture due to her mixed heritage and her involvement in the entertainment industry. She argued that individuals who are genuinely dedicated, have done the research, and speak from an educated and truthful place should be the ones included in these conversations. However, she was criticized for financially benefiting from black American culture through her work. Quiana emphasized that she creates and contributes to black American culture and should not be excluded based on her heritage or financial gain. She also discussed the complexities of identity and how it can evolve throughout one's life, highlighting the importance of self-definition and the potential for ending friendships or relationships due to misunderstandings or differing viewpoints. Ultimately, Quiana encouraged accountability and understanding in these situations, acknowledging that mistakes can be made but can also be addressed with honesty and respect.

    • Reflecting on Past FriendshipsOwn up to past mistakes and learn from them. Cherish special connections and value hindsight.

      While understanding the reasons behind our actions is important, it does not excuse inappropriate behavior. It's essential to own up to our mistakes and learn from them. Additionally, forming meaningful friendships can be challenging, especially when external factors like money and fame come into play. The speaker shared a story about a deep friendship from college that ended unexpectedly. Reflecting on this experience, the speaker realized the value of hindsight and the importance of cherishing special connections. The topic of reflecting on past friendships was recommended on the show, and it allowed the speaker to revisit and appreciate the significance of this particular relationship.

    • Living through challenging experiencesHardships can lead to growth and resilience, despite uncomfortable living conditions and fear. Empathy and understanding are essential in relationships, while selfish behavior can have negative consequences.

      Enduring hardships, even in uncomfortable living conditions, can lead to growth and resilience. The speaker shared her experiences of living through a "summer of hard knocks," which included dealing with pests, fear, and unexpected challenges. Despite the discomfort and fear, she learned valuable lessons and developed coping mechanisms. It's important to remember that sometimes, the most challenging experiences can lead to the greatest personal growth. Additionally, the speaker emphasized the importance of empathy and understanding in relationships, and the negative consequences of selfish behavior.

    • Friendship and crueltyActions that harm others, including animals, can lead to the end of relationships. Kindness and respect are essential in all relationships.

      Actions have consequences, and they can impact relationships in profound ways. The speaker shared a story about a friend who had shown a cruel side to animals, which the speaker found unforgivable. This incident, along with the friend's self-centered behavior, led the speaker to end their friendship. However, the speaker also reflected on the positive experiences they shared and the friend's role in helping them achieve their goals. Ultimately, the speaker wished they could have kept the friendship but couldn't overlook the cruelty. The story underscores the importance of treating all living beings with kindness and respect, and highlights the complex nature of relationships.

    • Recognizing when to let go of relationshipsSometimes, external factors or personal growth make it necessary to end relationships, even if it's painful. Communicate openly and respect boundaries to maintain dignity and closure.

      Sometimes, forces beyond our control can lead to the end of relationships. The loss of a loved one, such as a father, can create an insurmountable barrier that prevents reconciliation. It's essential to recognize when it's time to let go and move on. Weddings can be a catalyst for the end of friendships, especially if the relationship feels impersonal or performative. It's crucial to respect each other's boundaries and acknowledge that some relationships may not be meant to last forever. Ultimately, it's important to communicate openly and honestly about the reasons for ending a friendship, even if it's painful. And remember, just because a friendship ends, it doesn't mean that the love or connection between two people disappears.

    • Feeling like an outsider at a friend's weddingWeddings can bring unexpected challenges and it's important to communicate openly and set boundaries, even with close friends.

      Weddings can bring up unexpected challenges and complexities, even among long-time friends. The speaker shared an experience where they felt like an outsider at a friend's wedding, having never met most of the guests. They were also troubled by some of the wedding traditions, like releasing butterflies that had been encased in envelopes. Despite these issues, the speaker kept quiet and even DJ'd the wedding for free as a gesture of friendship. However, they felt unappreciated for their contributions and felt that their travel expenses should have been covered. The experience highlighted the potential for misunderstandings and confusion in friendships, especially during high-pressure situations like weddings. Ultimately, the speaker learned that it's important to communicate openly and set boundaries, even with close friends.

    • Experience of hidden pregnancy and its impact on relationshipsClear communication, respect, and understanding are essential for healthy relationships. People may not communicate or love in the same way, and it's crucial to acknowledge and accept those differences.

      Communication and respect are crucial in relationships, whether personal or professional. The speaker shared an experience where a friend kept a pregnancy a secret from her at a wedding, leading to hurt feelings and a strained relationship. Despite the pain, the speaker chose to let it ride rather than having an exit conversation. The incident served as a reminder that sometimes, people may not love or communicate in the same way, and it's essential to acknowledge and accept those differences. Additionally, being particular about one's work and focus can sometimes conflict with being a gracious party guest or emcee. Overall, the experience taught the speaker the importance of clear communication, respect, and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.

    • Friendships tested during challenging situationsCommunication, effort, and mutual respect are crucial for healthy friendships. If these elements are missing, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

      Friendships can be tested when faced with challenging situations, and it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with each other. In the conversation shared, the speaker felt unsupported by a friend during a confrontation at a wedding. The friend seemed passive and defensive, and the speaker felt disrespected and unloved. The situation escalated, and the speaker ultimately realized that the friendship had run its course. The incident served as a wake-up call for the speaker to surround herself with people who are equitable and supportive. It's important to remember that friendships require effort, communication, and mutual respect. If these elements are lacking, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship.

    • The importance of adapting and reconnecting in relationshipsDistance can lead to feelings of isolation, but making an effort to adapt and communicate can help maintain connections.

      Distance can provide clarity in relationships, but it can also lead to a sense of isolation and the end of connections. The speaker shares her experience of feeling left behind by friends as they moved on with their lives, while she was living in a different city. She felt like she was in a time warp, unable to keep up with their evolving relationships. However, when she returned and saw the changes, she realized the importance of making an effort to adapt and reconnect. The speaker also acknowledges that endings don't have to be permanent, and that sometimes, people can reconnect and find common ground again. Ultimately, the experience taught her the value of communication and facing conflicts instead of abandoning them.

    • The Importance of Communication and Trust in RelationshipsClear communication and trust are essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Be aware of surroundings, prioritize safety, and check in with loved ones to ensure alignment.

      Effective communication and trust are crucial in relationships. The speaker shared an experience where her partner unexpectedly appeared on stage during her performance, causing disruption and confusion. In such moments, she emphasized the importance of checking in with her partner to ensure they are on the same page and prioritizing her safety. Despite the partner's inaction during the incident, she recognized the value of open communication and trust in maintaining a healthy relationship. The speaker also highlighted the importance of being aware of one's surroundings and being prepared to protect oneself and loved ones when necessary. Ultimately, the experience served as a reminder of the significance of clear communication and trust in navigating challenges in relationships.

    • Friendships bridge gaps and provide essential supportAuthentic friendships uplift, encourage, and help us grow through life's challenges. Prioritize being around individuals who share similar visions and aspirations, and express yourself to foster deeper connections.

      Authentic and meaningful friendships can help bridge the gaps between family, strangers, and ourselves. These friendships provide essential energy and support, allowing us to grow and navigate life's challenges. It's crucial to surround ourselves with individuals who share similar visions and aspirations. Sometimes, we may feel hesitant to prioritize our own needs, but it's essential to recognize that we deserve to be around people who uplift and encourage us. The speaker shared her personal experiences of connecting with someone who truly understands her and how this friendship has positively impacted her life. Additionally, she emphasized the importance of expressing ourselves and sharing our thoughts and feelings with others, rather than keeping them bottled up.

    • True friendship goes beyond blood and shared experiencesTrue friendship transcends labels and is built on deep understanding, shared values, and mutual support

      The essence of friendship goes beyond shared blood and lies in a deep sense of understanding and like-mindedness. While some people may prefer solitude or may not be drawn to highly driven individuals, true friendship transcends these differences. The bond of friendship is forged through shared experiences, values, and a mutual understanding that goes beyond words. This is why we can have siblings who are not friends and others who are. It's not just about the label of brother or sister; it's about the connection that comes from having a like-minded companion. O'Reilly Auto Parts, with its professional parts people and deep automotive knowledge, stands out by providing answers and expertise, much like how true friends offer understanding and support in our lives.

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