Podcast Summary
Exploring the demons driving us in our professional lives through 360 reviews: 360 reviews reveal personal and professional growth opportunities by assessing strengths and weaknesses, everyone can be a leader with self-awareness and growth
Host Dan Harris interviewed Jerry Colona, an executive coach and practicing Buddhist, about the demons that drive us in our professional lives and how they manifest at work. Colona shared his experiences conducting 360 reviews, which involve interviewing colleagues and even family members to assess one's strengths and weaknesses. This process can be surprising and humbling but ultimately leads to personal and professional growth. Colona's new book, "Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up," emphasizes that everyone has opportunities for leadership, regardless of their position, and that self-awareness and growth are essential for success. Listeners can join Jerry and Dan for a live event in New York City on July 10th or try the "dressing up the inner critic" meditation in the 10% Happier app.
Embrace challenges for personal growth: Reflecting on our responses to work challenges can help us improve as leaders and individuals
The challenges we face in our professional lives, whether we're leading a team or not, can serve as opportunities for personal growth. The author, who draws inspiration from renowned leadership thinkers, emphasizes that everyone has the capacity to lead and grow, and that our responses to the crucible moments in our careers shape our leadership paths. By embracing these challenges and reflecting on our reactions, we can not only improve as leaders but also develop as individuals. The author's goal is to make leadership advice more accessible and personal, bridging the gap between traditional business literature and everyday language. This perspective encourages us to view our work not as an obstacle, but as a means to grow and become better versions of ourselves.
Exploring the 'back of the cave' for personal growth: Through practices like meditation, journaling, and self-inquiry, we can gain valuable insights by facing the challenging parts of ourselves and learn to recognize and confront them for personal growth.
Personal growth and self-improvement involve facing the challenging parts of ourselves, often referred to as the "back of the cave." This process can be facilitated through practices like meditation, journaling, and self-inquiry. By asking open questions and reflecting on our reactions, we can gain valuable insights and learn from our experiences. Meditation can be particularly effective in helping us sit with our thoughts and emotions, while journaling and therapy offer opportunities to explore our feelings and gain perspective. Ultimately, the goal is to recognize and confront the challenges within us, rather than denying or avoiding them, in order to emerge as stronger individuals.
Checking in with emotions for better connections: Pausing to identify emotions using simple codes promotes mindfulness and understanding in personal and professional settings, leading to authentic and meaningful interactions
Taking a moment to check in with our emotional state can lead to better connections with ourselves and others. Instead of rushing through life at the speed of light, pausing to ask "how are you, really?" and identifying our emotions using simple color codes like red, yellow, or green, can help us connect internally and externally without delving into lengthy stories. This practice, inspired by the polyvagal theory, can promote mindfulness and understanding in both personal and professional settings. Despite initial hesitancy, acknowledging and expressing our emotions can lead to more authentic and meaningful interactions.
Leadership emotional baggage impacts orgs: Unaddressed emotional baggage and toxic behaviors from leaders can negatively affect employees, families, and the organization, requiring self-awareness, accountability, and commitment to change.
Unaddressed emotional baggage and toxic behaviors from leaders can significantly impact an organization, affecting not only those in leadership but also employees and even their families. Meditation can help individuals pause and reflect, but true change requires self-awareness, accountability, and a commitment to doing the necessary work to address underlying issues. The consequences of inaction can lead to increased mental health issues, decreased morale, and even harm to innocent bystanders. As leaders, we have a moral responsibility to prioritize our emotional well-being and lead by example, creating a healthy and supportive work environment for everyone.
Creating a psychologically safe work environment: Effective leadership inspires teams by creating a safe space where individuals feel valued, heard, and can grow. Psychological safety and the joy of excellent work are the keys to successful teams.
Effective leadership doesn't require creating a toxic work environment. Instead, leaders should aim to inspire their team members by creating a psychologically safe space where everyone feels valued and heard. This approach not only leads to happier, more productive teams but also allows individuals to grow and bring their best selves to work. Peter Jennings' leadership style, while effective in pushing people to perform at their best, came at the cost of constant worthiness challenges and fear. However, research suggests that psychological safety, coupled with the joy of excellent work, is the common denominator among successful teams. Leaders must model this behavior by consistently checking in with their purpose, vision, and creating an environment that fosters connectedness and growth. Ultimately, this approach leads to teams where talented individuals can do their best work and leave feeling energized.
Creating loving, safe work environments: Focus on love, safety, and belonging at work for extraordinary results and individual fulfillment. Seek good work done well for the right reasons.
Creating work environments and communities that prioritize love, safety, and belonging can lead to extraordinary and sustaining work. Instead of focusing on demanding excellence, we should aim to create tribes where individuals feel supported and valued. This not only makes work less painful but also contributes to our full actualization as individuals. It's important to examine our motivations and lessen the influence of old childhood structures that may drive us to seek validation through work. By focusing on good work done well for the right reasons, we can create a healthier and more fulfilling work experience. Additionally, it's essential to remember that we all carry evolutionary wiring that seeks love, safety, and belonging, and fulfilling these needs in our workplaces can lead to a more engaged and productive workforce.
Achieving the Perfect Brunch and Understanding Our Relationship with Money: Quality ingredients from Whole Foods enhance brunch experiences, while past financial struggles can impact negotiations and aspirations, requiring conscious decision-making based on values.
The perfect brunch can be achieved through quality ingredients from Whole Foods, whether it's their top-notch cage-free eggs or their wallet-friendly catering options. Additionally, our relationship with money can shape our experiences and aspirations, as illustrated by the Hotel Regina example. For some, like the speaker, growing up with financial struggles may lead to a strong desire to create a life of abundance and comfort, which can influence negotiations and other aspects of life. However, it's important to be aware of these patterns and work towards consciously making decisions based on values, rather than being driven solely by past experiences and shame.
Finding comfort in simple pleasures: Despite hardships, recognizing and appreciating small sources of comfort and joy can help us cope and find success
Despite facing significant personal challenges growing up, the speaker found comfort and stability in the simple pleasures of life, such as the presence of food and the symbolic representation of lemon drops. These reminders of safety and love helped the speaker cope with the chaos and hardships in his childhood, and later in life, during a period of depression and suicidal thoughts. The entrepreneurial figure of Dominic Guido, an ice dealer with a humble background, also served as an inspiration for the importance of creating something from nothing and finding success despite adversity. The speaker's experiences highlight the importance of recognizing and appreciating the small sources of comfort and joy in life, especially during difficult times.
Understanding our beliefs about money: Exploring our past and questioning our beliefs about money can lead to healthier financial behaviors and improved self-perception.
Our relationship with money and the beliefs surrounding it can significantly impact our lives, shaping our decisions, self-perception, and even our mental health. The speaker shares how his fear of not having enough led him to a moment of realization and introspection, encouraging us to examine our own beliefs and desires through journaling and self-reflection. Asking questions like "How did my relationship to money first get formed?" or "What was the belief system around money and work that I grew up with?" can help us understand and challenge the narratives that drive our financial behaviors. By reflecting on these questions, we can work towards a healthier and more equitable relationship with money.
Explore past experiences for personal growth: Through self-inquiry, meditation, and learning from failure and others, we can grow and become the person we want to be.
Radical self-inquiry is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. By asking provocative questions and reflecting on past experiences, we can better understand how our past shapes our present and informs our future actions. Meditation serves as a grounding practice for this introspection. It's essential to recognize that failure and disappointment are inevitable, but they can be opportunities for growth rather than sources of self-flagellation. Similarly, when others disappoint us, we have the power to respond in a way that fosters renewal and growth for both parties. Ultimately, the most radical act of adulting is consciously choosing who we want to be and striving to become that person, even when we stumble.
Unconditional love and emotional work: Embrace imperfections with unconditional love and practice emotional work to process and heal emotional experiences for personal growth and well-being.
Unconditional love and acceptance, often referred to as unconditional positive regard in therapeutic traditions, allows us to embrace our failures and imperfections, making us worthy and lovable despite them. This concept was exemplified in the conversation between the interviewer and his guest, who encouraged the listener to love themselves and others, even in difficult situations. Emotional work, as mentioned in the podcast with Daniel Ingram, refers to practices that help us process and heal emotional experiences. It's essential to do emotional work in conjunction with insight practices but separately, to avoid spiritual bypassing, which is the use of spiritual practices to avoid dealing with emotional issues. Both practices are crucial for personal growth and well-being.
Mindfulness and Emotional Work for Personal Growth: Both mindfulness practices and emotional work are crucial for personal growth. Mindfulness helps us understand thoughts and emotions without attachment, while emotional work explores their substance. True growth requires addressing both. Rest and self-care are necessities, not rewards.
Both mindfulness practices and emotional work are essential for personal growth. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, help us understand the process of our thoughts and emotions without attachment. Emotional work, like therapy, allows us to explore the substance of our emotions and experiences, especially the difficult ones. It's easy to use spiritual practices as a way to avoid dealing with these challenges, but true growth requires addressing both the process and substance of our inner world. As for the listener's question, many of us struggle with feeling guilty for not being productive enough and rewarding ourselves accordingly. To change this mindset, it's essential to recognize that rest and self-care are not rewards but necessities for overall well-being. It's important to shift our perspective and treat self-care as an essential part of our daily routine, not a treat to be earned.
Noticing when to take a break: Mindfulness practices like meditation and self-compassion can help us become more self-aware and notice when we need a break from work.
Productivity and knowing when to take a break is more of an art than a science. It's easy to fall into the trap of taking on too much work and feeling guilty when we want to relax. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and loving-kindness meditation, can help us become more self-aware and notice when we've worked too hard and need a break. Ray Houseman, the head of coaching at the 10% Happier app, suggests sitting with the awkwardness of not knowing how to be when we're not engaged in agenda-oriented activities. It might be helpful to use these moments as cues to practice meditation and self-compassion. Remember, it's okay not to have all the answers and to give yourself a break when you need it.
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