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    • Grappling with the Patriot's DilemmaAcknowledge the dark history of the nation while embracing potential for progress with a 'goodish' mindset. Use Dolly Chugh's book as a tool for reckoning with historical knowledge to become a gritty patriot.

      Acknowledging the painful and horrifying stuff that has happened in the past while loving your country is the Patriot's Dilemma. Dolly Chugh's book, A More Just Future, encourages having a 'goodish' mindset for America, where there's always room for growth. The book offers tools for grappling with historical knowledge. Being a gritty patriot involves acknowledging the dark history of the nation while also embracing the potential for progress. Dolly was afraid of being misinterpreted in her love letter to America as a desire for change while people thought they didn't need her book until they had it. The content doesn't offer historical knowledge but teaches tools for reckoning with it.

    • Overcoming Bias for Objective Problem-SolvingTo progress, objectively acknowledge a country's flaws despite biases like nostalgia and favoritism. Use strategies such as seeing the problem and meditation, and be aware of biases in narratives.

      Recognizing and acknowledging the flaws and problematic aspects of one's country is crucial for its progress and growth, but it can be difficult due to nostalgia and home team bias. One should strive to see the problem objectively, without judgment, and work towards understanding and acknowledging them. Dolly Chugh's book lists seven strategies, including seeing the problem, to help with this endeavor. Meditation principles can also aid in this process, particularly in seeing the problem without judgment. Being aware of biases, such as home team bias, is also important in addressing problematic narratives and perspectives.

    • Approaching History through the Lens of Historiography.By being aware of our biases and seeking diverse sources, we can cultivate a more comprehensive understanding of history that encompasses multiple perspectives. The use of historiography can help us question the narratives presented to us and seek out a more well-rounded understanding of our past.

      Our biases can affect how we understand history. Taking a historiographer approach can help us recognize what perspectives are being left out of the narrative. To gain a more complete understanding of history, we can vary our media diet and seek alternative sources for different perspectives. Even our own family stories vary depending on who's telling them. History doesn't have to be limited to textbooks and documentaries; we talk about it all the time. By putting on the goggles of historiography, we can question the narratives we've been served and who served them to us, and strive for a more well-rounded understanding of our past.

    • Dressing for the weather: Understanding emotions and social identity in learning.Expect and regulate uncomfortable emotions when learning, and understand how social identity impacts our reactions. Don't be owned by emotions; regulate them and learn better.

      Dressing for the weather means anticipating and regulating emotions that may come up when we learn something new or challenging. Social identity plays a role in how we perceive and react to information. Belief grief is a feeling of loss that comes from realizing something we believed to be true is not. To overcome resistance to learning, we must expect and prepare for uncomfortable emotions and not be owned by them. Regulating emotions and not viewing them as permanent is crucial. Understanding our social identity and how it affects our reactions to information can aid in the learning process. Dressing for the weather means knowing that emotions will come up, and history and people are complicated.

    • Overcoming Denial and Embracing Paradox to Understand Complexity.We can break down denial by holding true to our values and affirming them. Embracing the reality of paradox allows us to understand the complexity of people and the world, and helps shift our focus towards knowledge and understanding.

      Returning to our values and flexing our self-system with affirmation can help us tackle denial and navigate painful history. Embracing paradox is crucial in understanding that two things can be true at the same time. We need to shift our focus from firing shots at each other to understanding that people and the world are complicated. Our systems need to bring forth knowledge in a way that people can easily know and understand. This will help us overcome our innate preference for consistency and coherence, and deal with the complex issues we face.

    • The Power of Embracing Paradoxes in Daily LifeEmbracing paradoxes can enhance creativity and resilience, encourage clearer thinking, and help find solutions in more creative ways. Accepting imperfections in relationships can lead to a more meaningful engagement with one’s country and appreciation for the unexpected beauty in life.

      Our brains can hold two conflicting statements at the same time and accept that both can be true. This paradox mindset not only helps us deal with painful history but also with daily life problems like being a parent. By seeking paradox instead of consistency, our brain becomes more creative and resilient, and we can see situations more clearly and find solutions in more creative ways. Accepting paradoxes in our emotional relationship with our country can help us engage with it more meaningfully. It's not about seeking consistency but about seeing things as they are and accepting that they don't always fit perfectly like puzzle pieces. Paradox points can be earned in daily life, and it can help us appreciate the unexpected and see the beauty in the imperfections.

    • Using the Paradox Mindset to Improve Relationships at WorkAcknowledge the positive contributions of difficult colleagues and connect past experiences to present challenges to avoid repeating mistakes and build a more successful future.

      The paradox mindset can help in dealing with difficult colleagues by acknowledging the possibility that they may have done a lot to support the team/organization, which can lead to finding common ground and better engagement. Connecting the dots and reckoning with history is vital, even if our brains tend to view the past as a long time ago and want to put it behind us, as it is living in the present and can provide insights into current and future issues. It's important to work against the 'long time ago illusion' and connect the past to the present to avoid repeating mistakes and create a better future.

    • Connecting the Dots Between the Past and PresentOur understanding of the world is incomplete without considering past experiences. Our thoughts, language, and societal systems are intergenerational, and trauma can also be inherited. Knowing historical roots can help us make sense of conflicts and disparities.

      Connecting the dots between the past and the present is vital to understanding the world around us. Our brains often make the past appear blurry, causing us to overlook vital dynamics. Everything from our thoughts, speech, and systems like laws and housing have been passed down through generations. Trauma, both personally experienced and intergenerational, also affects us today. The lived experience can be passed down from generation to generation, as seen in a study of mice that were given mild shocks. It is liberating to connect the dots as it makes the world make more sense, and conflicts that appear silly have roots and causes. Understanding the dots connecting racial disparities in the present to historical events is also important.

    • The Real Story of Rosa Parks Goes Beyond a Simplified FableIt's important to acknowledge the reality of historical figures and their struggles instead of reducing them to simplified fables for the sake of ease and comfort.

      The story of Rosa Parks, the African American activist who refused to give up her seat on a bus, is often simplified into a fable where an elderly woman, tired after a long day, accidentally becomes an activist. However, the reality is that Parks was an outspoken and rebellious activist who had made many unsuccessful attempts in the past to fight for civil rights. The reason why the simplified fable is more attractive to us is that human beings are storytelling animals who desire simplicity and control. We can look back at the fable with pride, assuming the role we would've played in applauding Rosa Parks. However, it is important to acknowledge the reality of Parks' life and the many activists who fought tirelessly for civil rights.

    • Realistic Understanding for Effective ChangeChange is not straightforward, and our tendency to romanticize the past and expect idealized outcomes can hinder progress. Acknowledging our biases and approaching change with a realistic perspective is crucial for lasting impact.

      Our tendency to sugarcoat the past, get sucked in by nostalgia, and believe in racial fables clouds our judgment of what's happening now. We must not expect real change to be linear and neat like the Rosa Parks story. While it's okay to critique protest tactics, it's unhelpful to have unrealistic expectations. We must also acknowledge our tendency to want to wrap up the past and move on, whether it's history, family feuds, or other issues. In order to effectively push for change, we must have a realistic understanding of what effective change can look like and not be swayed by nostalgia or misleading fables.

    • The 10% More Rule for Sustainable ActivismCommitting to doing just 10% more than before can help us engage in activism sustainably without feeling overwhelmed. This can mean learning more, speaking up more, or taking a break while still making progress.

      When it comes to activism, it's normal to feel overwhelmed or unsure of what to do, but we can start by committing to doing just 10% more than before. If we're new to an issue, this means learning 10% more and staying in learning mode. If we're familiar with an issue, it means being 10% more terrified and taking more risks to speak up when we hear something problematic. And if we're exhausted, it means taking a break but still being satisfied that we've made some progress. This 10% more rule helps us engage in a more sustainable way and make a meaningful difference, without feeling like we have to know everything or do everything at once.

    • Balancing Engagement and Exhaustion in the Fight Against InjusticeTo make a sustained effort towards social justice, increase engagement by 10% without succumbing to exhaustion. Remember that some people cannot take a break from fighting and address the difficult parts of our past to create a better future for all.

      To engage more with issues, focus on 10% more than you did before in a sustainable manner. However, exhaustion and fragility may hinder this effort, so it's crucial to consider how much more exhausted you would feel if you were not white but black or brown. It's important to remember that some people cannot take a break from fighting the fight every day, so the 10% more rule specifically addresses this group. Taking responsibility for the collective country we love means addressing the difficult and brutal parts of our history, or the 'leaks in the basement,' that affect us all, whether we choose to acknowledge them or not.

    • Acknowledging and Addressing Historical Injustices for a Better FutureBuilding grit in our relationship with our country means acknowledging and addressing the negative aspects of our history, working towards fixing the damage caused by systemic oppression and inequities, and striving for a more just and equitable future for all.

      Even if you and your family did not engage in the institution of slavery, you are still benefiting from the inequities perpetuated centuries ago. Similarly, if you celebrate the good things that happened 200 years ago even though your family was not involved, it seems reasonable to consider the bad things as well. Building grit is about showing passion and perseverance in pursuit of a meaningful long-term goal, and it's something we rarely apply to our relationship with our country. We should be willing to acknowledge the bad parts of our history, like the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, and work towards fixing the leak in our system that was built on the backs of marginalized groups.

    • The Importance of Gritty Patriotism in improving your Country's Future.Gritty patriotism is about taking responsibility for making your country better, adopting a growth mindset, being resilient and hopeful; it ensures sustainable love for your country and paves the path for a better tomorrow.

      Gritty patriotism entails loving your country but at the same time, taking the responsibility of working towards making it better. It involves not expecting an easy love of country or feeling entitled to it, but rather working towards improving it. The emotions of a gritty patriot's childhood and experiences are still felt no matter the age, yet they choose to channel those emotions into working for a meaningful long-term goal. Adopting the mindset of gritty patriotism is essential to making a positive change in your country's future. Dolly Chugh's intention in her book is to leave readers feeling hopeful, resilient, and with a sense that there is a path to a better tomorrow. Loving your country warts and all is achievable, and gritty patriotism ensures that it is sustainable.

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    • And, a taxonomy of the eight different flavors of difficult coworkers, including the pessimist, the victim, the know-it-all, and the insecure boss — with tactics for managing each. 




    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/amy-gallo-576

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    How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

    Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.   


    Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.


    This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. 


    In this episode we talk about:

    • Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level
    • The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory”
    • The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness 
    • Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships
    • What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)
    • How to reframe social rejection
    • The importance of generosity
    • How to handle conflict with your friends
    • The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships
    • When to walk away from a relationship 
    • How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines
    • How to deal with social anxiety
    • And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561

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    Does Mindfulness Actually Make You Happier (or Better) at Work? | Prof. Lindsey Cameron

    Does Mindfulness Actually Make You Happier (or Better) at Work? | Prof. Lindsey Cameron

    People have mixed feelings about the popularization of mindfulness and meditation over the last 10 or 15 years with some referring to it as “McMindfulness.”


    The critiques can be worthy and the mainstreaming of meditation and mindfulness also have helped millions of people upgrade their lives. One of the many areas where mindfulness and meditation have made inroads of late is the workplace. 


    All sorts of employers are offering their teams access to meditation via apps or in-person training. But does this stuff actually work? Does it really make you happier at work or better at your job? And what techniques produce which benefits?


    Professor Lindsey Cameron is an Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Management. Her research focuses on mindfulness as well as the future of work. She has a 20 year practice, having studied and taught primarily in the Vipassana and non-dual traditions. In her prior career, Professor Cameron spent over a decade in the US intelligence and in diplomatic communities serving the Middle East, Africa, and Europe.


    In this episode we talk about:

    • What companies mean when they talk about mindfulness at work
    • What the mindfulness at work research says and how Prof. Cameron parses the results
    • The ways mindfulness helps us counteract our inherent biases and stereotypes
    • Which specific practices are most beneficial, depending on the situation 
    • Prof. Cameron’s tips for integrating small mindfulness moments into our everyday routines 
    • Where she stands on the whole “McMindfulness” debate
    • Prof. Cameron’s research into the gig economy — and how, paradoxically, an Uber worker can feel a sense of autonomy and freedom even though the work is ultimately being dictated by an algorithm



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/lindsey-cameron-577

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    A Radical Alternative to Revenge | sujatha baliga

    A Radical Alternative to Revenge | sujatha baliga

    Very often, when somebody pisses us off, our first instinct might be to plan some sort of revenge even if we rarely, if ever, actually follow through with it. Obviously, the trait of revenge seeking is counterproductive and it happens to also feel terrible. All the great wisdom traditions tell us that we should be forgiving instead and this isn’t just some sort of finger wagging from the morality police; it’s just straight up good advice. It’s in your best interest not to be coiled up inside endless revenge fantasies. Of course, this is all easier said than done.


    Today, though, our guest, sujatha baliga, both says it, and does it. She has an extraordinary story: she was horribly abused by a family member, and then, after an encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, learned how to forgive the seemingly unforgivable. What’s more, she now helps other people do that. Perhaps, starting now, even you.


    sujatha baliga is a long time Buddhist practitioner and internationally recognized leader in the field of restorative justice. She was named a 2019 MacArthur Fellow and is working on her first book. 



    Content Warning: This episode includes multiple references to violent and traumatic experiences, including homicide and incest.



    In this episode we talk about:

    • Her personal story, including her early experience with sexual assault within her family
    • Her life-changing encounter with his Holiness the Dalai Lama, and her experience with learning to forgive with the help of meditation
    • Her experience working in the criminal justice system 
    • Her definition of restorative justice, why she believes we need it, and the three key questions it asks in each case
    • Whether there is evidence that restorative justice works
    • The limits of restorative justice
    • What happens if someone who is the victim of a crime does want traditional punishment or even revenge
    • How you can apply what she’s learned in her life — including her time in the field of restorative justice — to our own lives
    • And a specific meditation practice that can help you do it



    Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sujatha-baliga-565

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