Podcast Summary
Josh's struggle with feeling proud of himself: Despite achieving success, Josh struggles to feel proud. Pride from team accomplishments no longer fulfills him, he may need to explore new ways to cultivate self-worth.
Josh struggles with feeling proud of himself despite putting in effort and achieving success. He expected to feel a sense of pride or euphoria when he accomplished goals, but instead feels relieved or content. Prior to consistently working out, Josh believed that doing so would make him feel good about himself. However, he now realizes that the pride he felt in the past came from being part of a team and accomplishing goals together. Josh may need to explore new ways to cultivate a sense of pride and self-worth that goes beyond individual accomplishments.
Finding Happiness in Teamwork and Impact: True happiness comes from making a positive impact on others and being a part of something bigger than oneself.
The speaker found true pride and happiness not in individual accomplishments, but in the team's collective efforts and the positive impact they had on others. Growing up, he was viewed as a special or gifted kid, which led him to feel immense pressure to live up to expectations and be the "chosen one." However, it was only when he received recognition for his attitude and contributions to the team that he truly felt appreciated and valued. This experience taught him that true happiness comes from making a positive impact on others and being a part of something bigger than oneself.
High expectations can hinder personal growth: High expectations can make average results seem insignificant and exceeding expectations difficult. Dismissive feedback from parents can reinforce feelings of shame and failure. Create a supportive environment for emotional intelligence and self-acceptance.
Having high expectations, while meant to be encouraging, can actually hinder personal growth and the experience of emotions like pride. In the case of being a gifted student, these high expectations can make achieving average results seem insignificant, and exceeding expectations difficult. Furthermore, dismissive feedback from parents, even if meant to be comforting, can instead reinforce feelings of shame and failure. It's essential to recognize the impact of our words and actions on those around us, and strive to create a supportive environment that fosters emotional intelligence and self-acceptance.
Communication around success and failure during upbringing: Inconsistent feedback on success and failure during childhood can lead to confusion about feelings of shame and pride, skewing self-worth and making it hard to identify what to be proud or ashamed of. Parents should provide constructive feedback and encourage healthy emotional development.
Inconsistent communication around success and failure during upbringing can lead to confusion about feelings of shame and pride. The child may not learn how to differentiate between these emotions properly if they receive the same feedback regardless of their performance. This can result in a skewed understanding of self-worth and make it difficult for the individual to identify what they should be proud or ashamed of. The lack of validation for failures and over-validation for successes can create an unrealistic perception of reality. It's essential for parents to provide constructive feedback and encourage healthy emotional development to help their children learn to feel proud of their accomplishments and accept their shortcomings.
Praising efforts, not just results: Accepting and praising children's efforts, not just their successes, fosters healthy self-confidence and pride, leading to stronger bonds and teamwork.
While constant positive reinforcement may make a child feel amazing in the moment, it can lead to insecurity and arrogance in the long run. The lack of negative correction and balanced feedback can hinder the development of healthy self-confidence and pride. Instead, it's essential to accept and praise children for their efforts and failures alike, allowing them to take pride in things that are free from their own expectations. This acceptance can lead to a stronger sense of bonding and teamwork, and it's crucial to recognize and value children in areas where they may not have previously seen their worth. To apply this to your situation, it's essential to recognize and challenge the self-imposed expectations that may be hindering your sense of pride and self-worth. This might involve finding ways to accept and learn from failures, as well as seeking out opportunities for growth and self-discovery beyond your current expectations.
Finding support and letting go of self-imposed expectations can boost pride: Seeking validation from supportive friends or professionals, releasing unrealistic self-expectations, and participating in community activities can help us feel proud and valued.
Recognizing and validating the effort and challenges we face in our achievements can help us feel more pride in ourselves. This can be achieved by finding support systems, such as friends or mental health professionals, who acknowledge our struggles and encourage us to keep trying. Additionally, letting go of self-imposed expectations or operating in areas where they don't apply can provide new opportunities for feeling proud and valued. Engaging in community endeavors can also be beneficial, as we may not have the same expectations for ourselves in these settings, allowing us to experience pride in new ways.
Focus on helping others and validating struggles: Volunteer, engage in community activities, let go of intellectual self-image concerns, and reflect on the origins of self-perception to find fulfillment and release unrealistic expectations.
To let go of expectations and find fulfillment, it's essential to focus on helping others and validating your struggles. Volunteering and engaging in community activities can provide a sense of pride and purpose, but it's crucial to avoid intellectual activities where you feel inadequate. Instead, look for opportunities to make a difference in someone else's life, letting go of self-image concerns. Additionally, reflecting on the origins of your self-perception as gifted and the impact it has had on you can help release unrealistic expectations. Remember, the goal is to help and grow, not just to meet personal expectations.
Perception vs Reality in Personal Growth: Perception doesn't define personal growth. The effort and progress made towards self-improvement is what truly matters.
The perception others have of us may not align with our own self-image. The speaker, Josh, shares that while he strives to be insightful, capable, and disciplined, others might see him as just another person getting things done. However, the struggle to maintain these habits and overcome personal obstacles, such as waking up early or completing homework, can make the journey to self-improvement all the more rewarding. Despite any perceived advantages or disadvantages, the effort put into personal growth is what truly matters. Even when it feels challenging or reluctant, pushing through and making progress can be a source of pride and a way to honor the efforts of those who have come before us.
Understanding and accepting our strengths: Recognize and appreciate your accomplishments despite ego, distinguish real self from perceived image, practice gratitude, and reflect internally for personal growth.
It's important to recognize and accept the strengths we have been given, even if we find it difficult to take pride in them. Our own ego can often get in the way of seeing our accomplishments. To help navigate this, it can be helpful to distinguish between the real self and the perceived image, and to practice gratitude for the efforts we make towards personal growth. Change, too, often occurs internally, and intentional reflection and learning from others can facilitate this process. Growing up as a gifted kid can make it challenging to take pride in accomplishments, as the bare minimum is expected, but recognizing the impact of upbringing and taking deliberate steps to appreciate our achievements can be key. The video on change and learning discussed the importance of internal reflection and intentional facilitation of the change process, and the speaker's personal experience of applying these concepts to improve at Overwatch serves as a powerful example.
Understanding the impact of expectations and struggles on pride: Recognizing and validating struggles and achievements fosters a healthy sense of pride, while unrealistic expectations or downplaying struggles can hinder growth.
The way we handle expectations and struggles during our upbringing significantly impacts our ability to feel pride in our achievements. Overperforming can lead to pride, but unrealistically high expectations can make it hard to feel proud even when we meet the minimum. Conversely, downplaying struggles and reassuring instead of acknowledging them can hinder our growth and prevent us from feeling pride when we improve. It's essential to recognize and validate the struggles and achievements of ourselves and others to foster a healthy sense of pride.
