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Breaking Down Men

Men are breaking down. The Breaking Down Men podcast asks why? And what can be done about it? Long-time friends Jim & Jay (a therapist and a comedian) explore manliness and masculinity in conversations that are sometimes informative, often humorous, and always interesting. No topic is off limits in this weekly podcast as Jim & Jay make each other laugh and chat about history, culture, health, politics, religion, sex, and sports. With a dash of Gen X pop culture thrown in. Our society is deeply divided on what it means to be a man, but men aren’t breaking down because of feminists, gay people, trans people, immigrants, or AOC. Men are traumatized by this brutal patriarchal culture like everyone else. Men struggle to ask for help, avoid painful feelings, refuse to go to therapy, shun community, and reject new perspectives on masculinity. No wonder they’re breaking down. A better way forward starts with honest conversations like these.

en20 Episodes

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What is the main theme of the podcast?

Who are some of the popular guests the podcast?

Were there any controversial topics discussed in the podcast?

Were any current trending topics addressed in the podcast?

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Episodes (20)

The One About Men and Anger

The One About Men and Anger

Why is anger easier for men to express than other emotions? Can men work through their anger in healthy ways? What's underneath the anger and how do men discover a broader range of emotions? Jim & Jay explore all these questions as they attempt to discuss anger without getting angry. Plus, the guys celebrate reaching a podcast goal, spin the wheel of emotions, and pick the top clowns of all time.

Breaking Down Men

enSeptember 21, 2023

The One About Sex, Baby. . . Let’s Talk About Sex

The One About Sex, Baby. . . Let’s Talk About Sex

This week Jim & Jay open up about their personal journeys to understand themselves as sexual people (maybe skip this one, mom) and share about the repression, shame, guilt, and fear they have experienced around sexual desire. The guys also discuss their adolescent confusion about French kissing, horror movies, virgins, and Playboys in the woods. Plus, best euphemisms for sex!

Breaking Down Men

enSeptember 07, 2023

kevin james thornton

The One About Men Are Lost

The One About Men Are Lost

Jim & Jay discuss an insightful and fascinating article about masculinity by Christine Emba. Plus they chat about storage unit cartels, the pros and cons of skipping class, and the worst Star Wars movies. Really if you’re not a giant Star Wars nerd you may just want to skip the last 30 minutes. "Men are lost. Here's a map out of the wilderness" by Christine Emba https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/07/10/christine-emba-masculinity-new-model/

Breaking Down Men

enAugust 24, 2023

supply and demand

The One About Sports and Gender

The One About Sports and Gender

Why do men and women play sports separately? What are the pros and cons of gendered athletics? How come people are so mad about transgender athletes? Jim & Jay discuss these questions and more. Plus, the guys pick their favorite school supplies, and chat about trapezoids, the Dukes of Hazard, and the great mystery of Cliffs.

Breaking Down Men

enAugust 10, 2023

darth vader thermos

The One About Eliminating Masculinity

The One About Eliminating Masculinity

News article about the study Jay mentioned on hunters and gathers: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2023/07/01/1184749528/men-are-hunters-women-are-gatherers-that-was-the-assumption-a-new-study-upends-i

The Study itself: https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0287101

Alok's website: https://www.alokvmenon.com/

The Adam Sandler SNL sketch the guys joked about, Romano Tours: https://youtu.be/TbwlC2B-BIg

Breaking Down Men

enJuly 27, 2023

hunters and gatherers

The One About Men We Like

The One About Men We Like

Jim & Jay usually break men down, but this week they’re building men up. A lot of men are doing great things, and in this special episode the guys highlight some of them with their first annual "Men We Like" list. Plus, Jay passes for a much younger man, Jim senses happiness lurking around the corner, and debate over the best things to do in the pool gets heated, in more ways than one.

Breaking Down Men

enJune 22, 2023

The One About Fathers and Sons

The One About Fathers and Sons

Men learn masculinity from their fathers and pass it on to their sons. This week, Jim & Jay discuss their own experiences of fatherhood and sonship: what went well, what could have gone better, and what they hope the next generation will improve on. The guys also chat about the virtues of psychedelics, nudist colonization, and the most unbelievable human accomplishments. Plus, Jim learns a shocking secret about this very podcast that could change everything.

Breaking Down Men

enJune 15, 2023

The One About Men and Work

The One About Men and Work

If having a good job is required to be a man, it’s no wonder men are breaking down. Jim & Jay discuss why most men hate their jobs, why we don’t all work 15-hour weeks, and why it’s so painful to fall short of expectations. Also, Jim celebrates partnership, Jay embraces the sacred power of chocolate, and everyone tries to listen to music backwards (you know, for the satanism). Plus, stick around for Best Chucks!

Breaking Down Men

enJune 08, 2023

john maynard keynes

The One About Men, Marriage, and Monogamy

The One About Men, Marriage, and Monogamy

Do we choose monogamy or does monogamy choose us? Is marriage bad for your health? How is deciding to get married like riding an escalator? This week, Jim & Jay tackle these and other tough questions about The Three Ms. They also explore the mysterious logic of telemarketing, recall the wonders of Real Sex on HBO, and definitively determine that Jay is a lover not a fighter. Plus the guys pick which First Ladies they most wish could swap places with their husbands.

Breaking Down Men

enJune 01, 2023

crying in a dentist's office

are straight people ok?

The One About Not Needing a Savior

The One About Not Needing a Savior

What if there’s nothing wrong with me? What do you think about that, Jesus?! Jim & Jay open up about how some of their Christian experiences encouraged self-hatred, preyed on weakness, and normalized male privilege. Jim also explains why he started shutting down his emotions, and how a Catholic monk turned him into a Buddhist. Plus, the guys chat about the early days of HBO and MTV, the loss of the original Star Wars lasers, and the question: is it still an 80s song if you didn’t hear it until the 90s?

Breaking Down Men

enMay 25, 2023

thich nhat hanh

substitutionary atonement

80s one hit wonders

star wars lasers

The One About Christianity’s Irredeemable Sexism

The One About Christianity’s Irredeemable Sexism

Which came first Christianity or Patriarchy? How has the church propped up inequality? Is the bible hopelessly infected with male superiority? Jim & Jay discuss these and other questions about role of religion in promoting sexism. The guys also chat about the middle-class satisfaction of golf, the moral dilemma of My Pillows, and how Rupert Murdoch is like Mr. Burns. Plus, they pick their favorite articles of clothing and explain why pajamas are better when they DO catch on fire.

Breaking Down Men

enMay 18, 2023

The One About How Scary Men Are

The One About How Scary Men Are

Many people who are not men, are afraid of men. And they have good reasons. This week, Jim & Jay discuss why men are scary and how they can respond to the fear they provoke. Also, Jay shares his love of acoustic guitars and harmony while Jim pays tribute a Savannah hero everyone should know. Plus, the guys pick their favorite sit-com moms, debate Jim’s new baseball team, and shit on vile racist John C. Calhoun (seriously, fuck that guy).

Breaking Down Men

enMay 11, 2023

The One About Male Friendship

The One About Male Friendship

Why is it so hard for men to make and keep friends? Will better friendships really make men happier and healthier? Recording in-person for the first time, Jim & Jay discuss men’s “friendship recession.” The guys also note how close Jay came to being Ryan Gosling, scoff at calls for decorum, and pick the best “readily available” cuisines. Plus, Jim advocates for Russian dressing, even during a war, and Jay contends life is worth living mostly because of carbs.

Links to articles mentioned in the show. Plus, after we recorded, the Surgeon General said loneliness is worse for you than smoking.

https://apnews.com/article/surgeon-general-loneliness-334450f7bb5a77e88d8085b178340e19

https://www.americansurveycenter.org/commentary/american-men-suffer-a-friendship-recession/

https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/23323556/men-friendship-loneliness-isolation-masculinity

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/28/well/family/male-friendship-loneliness.html

https://www.chefspencil.com/most-popular-ethnic-cuisines-in-america/

Breaking Down Men

enMay 04, 2023

male friendship

The One About Shame

The One About Shame

Jim opens up about a new phase in his marriage and the pain of facing past failures, while Jay shares conflicted feelings about work. The guys discuss how debilitating shame can be, the role of competition in male relationships, and one decent insight from a 1990s relationship book. Also, Jim cheats at Encyclopedia Brown books, Jay rants about the misnaming of monkey bars, and everyone’s favorite childhood books reveal surprising insights.

Breaking Down Men

enApril 27, 2023

children's books

The One About The Patriarchy

The One About The Patriarchy

If we live in a patriarchy, and patriarchy privileges men over women, then why are so many men breaking down? Jim & Jay dive into this conundrum and discuss the many ways patriarchy sucks for everyone. The guys also chat about the weather, Jay’s thwarted love of dance, and the majesty of Caitlin Clark. Plus, Jim advocates for an “attitude of gratitude” (but is he being serious or ironic?) and Jay claims the best baseball player ever is overrated.

Breaking Down Men

enApril 20, 2023

boys don't dance

overrated athletes

The One About Body Image For Men

The One About Body Image For Men

In the 1980s, only action heroes had crazy muscles, now everyone has to look like an action hero (even philosophy professors). In this episode, Jim & Jay “marvel” at the increased body image pressure faced by men, and the toll it takes on men’s physical and mental health. The guys also share childhood experiences that taught them about masculinity, shout out their favorite anti-drug commercial, and pick their favorite imaginary creatures of diminutive size. Plus, Jay reflects on protesting against Atlanta’s “Cop City,” while Jim notes the value of clever branding in social justice movements.

Breaking Down Men

enApril 13, 2023

The One About Women You, You Oughta Know

The One About Women You, You Oughta Know

Do you know the brilliant work of Mileva Marić? Zelda Fitzgerald? Marcia Lucas? How about Albert Einstein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and George Lucas? Hmmmm, I wonder why some of those people are more familiar? This week, Jim & Jay talk about women you’ve never heard of who collaborated with men who are household names, and muse over whether intellectual theft is an essential quality of masculinity. They also ask if billionaires should give up philanthropy in favor of paying taxes, and argue over which Disney Princess rules them all. Plus, Jay badmouths the most successful animated movie in history, Jim proclaims we should all be in therapy, and everyone craps on Jar Jar Binks.

Breaking Down Men

enApril 11, 2023

The One Where Jay Rants about Misogyny

The One Where Jay Rants about Misogyny

If you like hearing men give off-the-cuff rants about the inequality faced by women, this one’s for you! Jim & Jay continue their conversation about the dos and don’ts of manhood, delving into men’s drive to show strength through violence and the limitations placed on men’s expression of emotion. Meanwhile, Jim shares a life lesson from the poker table, Jay proposes edits to romantic comedy movies, and someone’s picks for best Kevin Bacon movies raise intriguing questions about childhood trauma.

Breaking Down Men

enApril 07, 2023

The One That Forced Us to Feel Something

The One That Forced Us to Feel Something

Jim & Jay discuss the dos and don’ts of manhood and share personal experiences about the drive for achievement, falling short of expectations, and what 80s movies taught them about the desperate need to get laid. Also, Jay opens up about how he handles rejection as a writer, and Jim reflects on the life of Jimmy Carter while recalling a personal encounter with the former president. The guys close the episode by picking their favorite terrifying weather events, and revealing which formerly Christian nation is punished by God with 75% of the world's tornadoes.

Breaking Down Men

enApril 07, 2023

The One Where We Introduce Ourselves

The One Where We Introduce Ourselves

Who are these two random guys and why should you listen to anything they have to say? Find out in this slightly-shorter-than-normal intro/teaser/aperitif episode. Jim & Jay explain why they decided to start a podcast about masculinity and what they hope to bring to the conversation, even though they are definitely NOT experts. They also discuss how long they have been friends, why this show is laced with 80s references, and the importance of not kink shaming people who enjoy overhearing their roommates having sex.

Breaking Down Men

enApril 07, 2023

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What is the main theme of the podcast?

Who are some of the popular guests the podcast?

Were there any controversial topics discussed in the podcast?

Were any current trending topics addressed in the podcast?

What popular books were mentioned in the podcast?

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