Housewives On Housewives

We open with breaking news of three wildfires in California. The one in Malibu is threatening Camille's and Denise's homes. Rewind five days earlier to update us on some housewife drama. Erika and Lisa Rinna have lunch and bond over their Erika Jayne experiences. They also confirm everyone has beef with Camille. Dorit's company has a faux-to shoot, and we're pretty sure Jagger is modeling for free. Kyle plans a trip to Provence, and we are super jealous!! Harry and Lisa have a super awkward family dinner where their teenage daughters show attitudes all parents dread. Neither Harry or Lisa are claiming the children. The ladies meet up for lunch, where they talk about their upcoming trip to Provence and the beat down Camille will get. Speaking of Camille, why did she hire a 75 year old sick man to be her assistant? And then there's Brandi? Is she back to the Housewives now that Vanderpump is out? We welcome a new storyline, but are super anxious as well.

Luann is rehearsing her Christmas Cabaret. How fabulous?! Sonja shows up unexpected, uninvited, and uninterrupted. Dorinda gets to host the iconic tree lighting that no one's ever heard of. She then threatens Luann with lawyers and Sonja threatens to go manic if she's called manic. The ladies head to Miami and stay in a place fit for "Scarface." Dorinda and Sonja get drunk within minutes of arriving and harass the staff, who clearly deserve more money. Bethenny tells Luann what everyone has been saying all along - life is not a cabaret, you can't tell everyone Sonja is on pills, and it's not right to make out with Sonja's guys. Sonja finally goes down without a fight. Literally.

The morning after Camille's wedding, the ladies are in Hawaii and meet up with the bride - and only the bride - for brunch. Conversation quickly turns to how crummy it was that LVP skipped the wedding. Two short hours later, the ladies realize, via a "People Magazine" article, that Camille is talking out of both sides of her mouth . Back in Beverly Hills, Kyle and Rinna get their yearly mammogram done. Thanks for the PSA, ladies! Everyone gets all slutty for Farrahween. Rinna wins best costume ever as Erika Jayne and refuses to break character. But she takes it over the top when she runs into Kim Richards and uses foul language to express Lisa Rinna's hurt over the bunny. Somehow we end with everyone getting along, but we are not expecting that to last long.

Bethenny and Luann continue their fight about whose "way is really going." Luann gives the worst apology ever. To be fair, she was upset. We love seeing Dorinda and Bethenny roll on the floor laughing a few times at the ridiculousness of Luann. The ladies go to dinner where Ramona grew up, and Ramona opens up about the abusive childhood she suffered. Luann takes Sonja, Poor Tinsley, and Barbara back to Kingston to see Luann's future. The other three ladies stay back, open up, and bond. The next day, the ladies finally head back to the city, leaving Luann home to chill. And just be cool. EXCUSE ME!!!!

We open in a closet where Lisa Vanderpump is getting a lie detector test (dogs are allowed). Kyle, Dorit, Teddi and Rinna, along with a couple of husbands, head to Hawaii for Camille's wedding. While there, Rinna nurses a sore throat while the other ladies play. Later they gather at Camillie's house for a pre-wedding dinner, where the cheese wheel bowl makes another appearance. In between, we see very little of Denise and none of Erika or Vanderpump, and we missed them all terribly. Maurico tries pot for the first time. And congratulations to Mrs. Camille Frazier Crane Kelsey Grammer Meyer.

The ladies are headed up to Luann's "bird's nest." But first, Dorinda has some errands to run in her new hood. Bethenny meets up with Ramona and Tinsley. Tinsley fills Bethenny in on Sonja's attacking her for talking about her rough patch. Sonja and Barbara arrive to Luann's a night early, where they school Luann and then share some girl gossip. After Dorinda, Tinsley and Bethenny arrive upstate, Bethenny and Luann begin to get into Luann's cabaret behavior. Ramona still hasn't made it due to her birthday extravaganza thrown by her "best" friends.

On this episode of RHOBH, Lisa Vanderpump's new 300k kitchen is revealed and gets mixed reviews from Becky and Raquel. Denise has to go to Miami to work for a few days, but leaves the girls in good hands. Erika's show is a hit in Los Angeles, but who really cares as long as Mr. Girardi is impressed. Vanderpump and Camille meet up, and Camille tells Lisa the opposite of what she says in her confessionals. Lisa is not making it to her wedding. What we do know is no one wants to be a bridesmaid after 30.

Luann and her Jovanni bag arrive to get ready for the biggest party in NYC. Bethenny, dressed as a Victoria Secret -- I mean, Super Angel, is the first to arrive and leave. Ramona ditches the party altogether, but the rest of the ladies wait over two hours for Luann to prepare for her two songs. Tinsley and her mom catch up over cross-stitching, and now we all want cross-stitched stockings. Dorinda moves into her new apartment, and it's all hers and hers alone! Bethenny finds out Luann is still taking stabs at her. And Ramona, The Influencer, makes a fool of herself, as do Dorinda and Sonja by bickering in front of a crowd at a charity event they are "supporting." And that's after Ramona tells her friends to feel free to celebrate her birthday. Becky and Raquel pre-game.

The RHOBH ladies over pack for a one-night trip to an outdoor hotel for a massage and to sleep in a bed. On the way, they buy enough groceries to feed a small country. At the "campsite," they find permanent tents filled with real furniture and electricity. Then they test their endurance by climbing a fake rock. We see way too many cooks in the kitchen but also learn the "ins and outs" of a happy ending. Everyone gets mad at each other but then realize it's easier to blame Lisa Vanderpump. And Camille calls Teddi a know-it-all because, well, she's a know-it-all.

Bethenny is still battling her ex in court, which makes her want to de-stress and sell part of her company. Luann meets up with Jill Zarin and Bossy, who after getting hit with a tennis ball would probably rather have stayed home. Tinsley is still processing her breakup with Scott and has many conversations with her mom about it. Ramona takes Barbara shopping, and they get the Led out. Luann has Sonja come help her prep for the biggest party in NYC. Tinsley is the guest ringmaster at the Big Apple Circus, but Sonja steals the show. And we close with Tinsley dressed up as a doll, and breaking down after her breakup. Say it with us: "Poor Tinsley!"

Lisa and Ken pick out stone for their kitchen remodel, while best friends Erika and Rinna go to the gym for rock hard glutes. (Also, the best flashback EVER!) Dorit sees her new Ikea office, and we're all left wondering why. Denise gets gossip on every other housewife from Camille, whether she wants to hear it or not. PK and Dorit appropriately dress in funeral attire for lunch with Lisa and Kenny, where their friendship dies. All the ladies, minus Lisa Vanderpump, meet up at Teddi's for one last meal before they go RV camping. And no one is sure who was better friends with LVP, Kyle or PK.

Bethenny and Sonja head out to Brooklyn to visit Hunt Slonem - artist and bird fanatic. Tinsley and Luann attend their first Al Anon meeting together, which gets very deep for Tinsley and -- wait. Where's the cinnamon? Tinsely takes Dorinda with her as she prepares for her debut in the circus, and Dorinda does her best to steal the role. Some of the ladies, including Ramona, run into Mario at their neighborhood Cheers. And the episode ends with a beautiful spa day that Dorinda has created where Barbara tries to smooth things over with Ramona, but Ramona is not ready to hug it out. Oh, and Tinsely and Scott broke up.

Kyle's and Teddi's daughters put on makeup so they're ready for the inevitable YouTube stardom to come. We learn that Harry Hamlin is a human Xanax and that Denise is married to a hot babysitter. Vanderpump admits to Denise that she has retreated and she's completely fine with it. And the rest of the ladies go to a Boy George concert but also get a British comedy show.

We are still not touching the Morgan letters, but they're not real anyway. Ramona gets comfortable in the middle of dinner, and the ladies have a fun, let -loose evening, although Barbara is scared. Back in the city, there are blowouts, old dogs, and flower purchases. Bethenny plans a sparkle party, and a game of truth or dare brings out the best or worst. But that's after caviar and vodka; so it's okay.

The RHOBH ladies, minus one friend (she wasn't invited), celebrate Camille's upcoming wedding. Denise let's us know the best way to find out which friend is leaking stories about you. LVP destroys her kitchen. And we are suppose to be having a dinner honoring Lois Rinna, but politics and the Richard sisters seem to steal the show.

We are in the Berkshires this episode. Luann is still upset over the swordfish bedroom; so Tinsely puts an end to it by giving up her bedroom. The following day, Camp Blue Stone Manor has a full schedule. Sonja starts spinning when they visit a Morgan family home. Dorinda is amazingly compassionate and comforting to Bethenny as she moves through grief. Barbara is amazingly annoying as she tries to keep the fire fueled between Dorinda and Luann. Everyone tries to reel Sonja in as she becomes a little more than tipsy. Sonja is concerned that Barbara is going to move in on Bethenny and for the love of God, DON'T TOUCH THE PAPERS!!!

Kyle has drinks with the ladies -and Aaron - and fills them in on Showdown at Villa Rosa. Ken shares some special moments with Giggy. Most of the ladies are shocked to realize they are not invited to Lisa Vanderpump's birthday party, especially since Denise gets an invitation. Rinna, Erika and Denise leave us wanting to try flying yoga. And all the ladies, minus LVP, get together to celebrate Denise's recent wedding. But Camille lets loose and outs her ex-husband and Vanderpump's teeth.

While Bethenny is packing for a couple of trips, she squeezes in a grief therapist. Tinsley hosts "Strut your Mutt," benefiting the Humane Society and her image. The ladies lunch on Ramona's friend's yacht and give Tinsley a reality check on her relationship with Scott - Poor Tinsely. In the Berkshires, Dorinda outdoes Disney World with her Halloween decorations. Luann has lost all graciousness and cannot believe she's expected to stay in a green room with navy bedding.

Denise and Aaron have added water to make an insta-family and couldn't be happier. Teddi is spinning in more ways than one. Lisa Vanderpump's work with Congressman Hastings pays off when House Resolution 401 is passed. The gang - er - ladies (minus LVP) have lunch and talk about the Radar Online article, how it had to have come from the LVP camp, and how Kyle has to address it with Lisa. Sadly, this leads to the demise of a 12-year friendship.

At Sonja's party, Dorinda and Luann finally speak but not so much about the elephant in the room. Sonja dips a toe in the lady pond. Tinsley's meets her mom for drinks some and shattering of her self-esteem. Dorinda feels it's time to move on and out of her apartment after going back into Sonja's old townhouse. The five families - er, the four ladies have a sit down in hopes that Luann and Dorinda find some kind of resolution, but things are left unresolved. And we don't know who's drinking the Kool-Aid, but we're pretty sure it's spiked.