In Kind

Noam is an Israeli born to British parents, living in Silicon Valley. Growing up, he promised himself he'd never live apart from his family. But now his children are born in the US and he finds himself between three cultures - but belonging nowhere. We talk about the irony of how being an 'ungrounded' explorer creates belonging and connectedness for him, and how he's found new avenues to create his own community. If you've ever asked yourself the Who Am I question, Noam's journey will spark your thinking in ways you may not have imagined.

Show Notes
MovieSliding Doors
Book Belong, Find Your People, Create Community & Live a More Connected Life
ArticlesThe Immigrant Experience, Christmas & Barker (cognitive flexibility); How Immigrants Perceive Home and Identity
Tweet me @julieinkind

This is the most universal of episodes. Who hasn't felt like an imposter? M is a music and orchestra teacher who still feels it heavily in her work after nearly a decade. We talk about one of the cruelest mind tricks of all - believing that we're faking it even in the face of evidence to the contrary. M explains what's working for her as she gets closer to managing it in a healthy way. This episode is for anyone struggling with the feeling that you're not enough, and wanting to place external judgment to the side where it can be constructive, not destructive.

SHOW NOTES
Dear Me, song by Eric Hutchinson 
Negativity Bias
What To Say When You Talk To Yourself, by Dr. Shad Helmstetter

Tobi felt invisible growing up. He managed his parents’ marital problems as a teen to keep them from divorcing, and his siblings from more chaos. After becoming a father himself and seeing how family patterns played out in his adult life, he went on a knowledge quest to make changes. From Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) to Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) and more, he did a ton of work to define his issues and start reframing his past. He learned how to set healthy relational boundaries and that asking for help makes him stronger - not weaker. This is for anyone struggling with perfectionism, harsh self-talk and feeling like you don't belong.

SHOW NOTES
*Editorial Correction - Tobi's sponsor with religious undertones was at SAA, not CoDA

• Blog - Relationship Coach Jordan Gray
• Sex Addicts Anonymous 
• Co-Dependents Anonymous
• Book - Eastern Body Western Mind
• Lisa Nichols - Why Mirror Work Will Change Your Life
• Nichiren Buddhism

How often do you look yourself in the eyes and really see who you are? For most of us, it’s rarely-to-never. Kacey is an incredibly gifted healing force, and today she’s leading us through a reflective practice called metta-meditation. When the goal is self/other empathy, I can’t think of a better way to practice loving kindness than to actually look in the mirror. It’s intense and yes, a bit uncomfortable, but worth every second. I did the practice in her in-person class, first looking at myself, then seated in front of another class member (that I didn’t know), holding their gaze for what seemed like forever. It was extraordinary what came up and I knew I wanted to bring it to you. I hope you flag this one and return to it often. It’s like a double dose of growth. Enjoy!

Show Notes:

Find Kacey
What is Metta-Meditation? 

T. is in her late 40s, transitioning out of marriage when she meets a guy on a dating  app and as she says - kaboom - madly in love. She thinks it’s heading toward a Brady Bunch melding of families but instead one of her older sons saves her life after this new man cheats and gaslights her, then beats her in her own home on Mother’s Day Weekend. She’s here to release herself from the guilt of still being connected with him, and to apologize to her kids for exposing them to it all. She’s made incredible progress, but she knows she can’t simply erase him from her life. I discuss my own cord cutting experience with my marriage, and we talk in depth about the three faces of forgiveness as the tool that may have enough power to unlock the rest of the healing

Karen spent years wondering if her ex husband loved her enough to have kids with her, when a suggestion from her gynecologist turned into a wake-up call - "Time to talk about freezing your eggs" she said. And Karen's first thought was, "The cost of that could get me a bunch of trips to new countries I've never visited!" Truth was, Karen had a different trajectory for her life. When it came to having kids, she felt it's not a hell yes, it should be a no. After years of therapy, meditation and pranic healing she stopped listening to societal norms, her parents' hopes, and even her own presumptions about what it meant to be a woman. She also liberated her ex from carrying guilt about not 'giving' her kids in their marriage. 

I'm fired up to bring you a super fresh expert hour about how personality is fluid, evolves over time and is within our control to change. In fact, we can and must change our personality throughout life in order to become our best self. I've been reading Dr. Benjamin Hardy's writing on Medium for years, and he's now a bestselling author. What I love about him is how he flips the script on old psychological concepts and gives us clear, actionable new ones that help us make massive progress on what we want out of life. The content is simple yet mind blowing, and packed with evidence. Personality Isn't Permanent shows you how to rewrite 'who you are' any time you choose. It's become one of my bible books and I'm shouting it from the virtual rooftops on its official release day - today!

Ready to share your story? It's easy to be a guest on In Kind! Schedule a call here or cut/paste this link into your browser https://calendly.com/inkindpodcast/20-min

Show Notes

• Where to find all things Dr. Ben Hardy https://benjaminhardy.com
• Personality Isn't Permanent https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/607021/personality-isnt-permanent-by-benjamin-hardy-phd
• First Book - Willpower Doesn't Work 
• Accelerated Momentum Program (AMP) 
• Dan Sullivan, author and renown coach 

The 1.5 mile rule, 'learning to read' in her 30s, and forgiving her 20-year-old self for not doing all of it sooner - Lee tells me how it took years to get the courage to leave an amazing husband, house and job when she realized she was living the wrong blueprint. She moved thousands of miles away, lost 85 pounds, did not purchase a TV and is happier now than ever in a tiny studio apartment on the west coast. I was blown away by the simple but incredibly intentional (and often uncomfortable) ways she's decided to live life. Want encouragement to completely overhaul your life without guilt or shame? This one's for you.

Ready to release something? Schedule an intro call!

Show Notes
Podcasts:

• This American Life
• Death Sex & Money
• Left Right & Center
• Guys We F***d

Books:

• I Thought It Was Just Me, (but it isn't), Brene Brown

Once a month on In Kind, it's Expert Hour. Life Coach Stephanie Marino talks to me about how to challenge a damaging belief system, stop should'ing all over ourselves, and spot a Whentality Mentality. She also shares the details of her spiritual awakening at the age of 17.

Show Notes
Books

• The Hidden Messages in Water, Masaru Emoto
• Everything is Figureoutable, Marie Forleo
• Natural Cures They Don't Want You to Know About, Kevin Trudeau 
• A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, Eckhart Tolle
• The Empowered Woman Series Book 4, Jolie Dawn/Stephanie Marino et al

Influences

• Marianne Williamson
• Ram Dass

Where to Find Stephanie

Will avoided contacting Alta Marjorie Stephenson - a central figure in his life - before she died, for fear she wouldn’t accept him as a gay man. He encourages us not to assume the people we're close to will always be there - better to have some urgency than to go to our own grave carrying a missed opportunity. 

27-year-old Patrick takes us through a painfully embarrassing moment in college when he spoke at a fellow student's memorial service having had too much to drink. He carried assumptions and fear about what people thought of him for 9 years. Today he lets it go, and replaces his hurtful story with one of self-gratitude and love.

Show Notes
Books - Jim Dethmer 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership;
Thich Nhat Hanh The Miracle of Mindfulness, Being Peace; Jon Kabat Zinn Full Catastrophe Living; Marie Forleo Everything is Figureoutable; Susan Jeffers Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Meditations: Mindful Movement (YouTube- search for loving kindness); Waking Up (app); Headspace (app)
Poem: Douglas Malloch, Good Timber http://holyjoe.org/poetry/malloch.htm
Patrick's Website: Mindful Ambition https://cutt.ly/htzvXE9 links to his article on recovering from mistakes

It's election night, 2016. Tillie sits across from her long-time employers whom she considers friends, when one points at her and blurts out a racist comment. Tillie freezes in the moment, then goes through years of self shame for not responding. Hear how she has learned to grapple with this manipulative emotion, replace it with self love, and come out stronger.

Show Notes:
Books - Jen Sincero You Are a Badass; Candace Pert Molecules of Emotion
Podcasts - The Black Joy Mixtape https://www.instagram.com/blackjoymixtape/?hl=en

Welcome to In Kind, where it's my job to help the world scale global empathy. As a social scientist, I'm on a mission to raise emotional issues to the species level by leading guests through the letting go of something they've held inside for years - often decades. Guests experience profound, long-lasting healing, and listeners gain the courage to start their own brave conversations. You'll quickly see that wherever we live, whatever our circumstances, we're all navigating a similar path as humans. Help spark conversations around the world by being part of the movement to scale global empathy.