Relating to Self

In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Amy, who cultivated a growth mindset through Ted Talks. 

Amy is the Founder of Next Gen Facilitation and helps prepare the Next Generation for Modern Life.

Learn more about Amy and her work here:

• https://linktr.ee/EducationAmy

Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:

• The shortcomings of traditional education
• Internal vs. external motivation 
• How Amy cultivated a growth mindset through Ted Talks 
• The importance of rest in personal development 
• The many benefits of exercise 
• Psychotherapy as a tool for self-exploration 
• Finding and updating your core values 
• Amy's advice for reaching out to people, seeking help, and finding your people

A parting quote from Amy:

"You can’t prepare the path for the person,
You can only prepare the person for the path."

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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Stephen, for whom daily happiness is entirely relationship-driven. 

Stephen Ladek is an explorer & entrepreneur who helps others find focus, fulfillment, and freedom through radical accountability. 

Learn more about Stephen here:

• https://www.ladek.com/

Learn more about his work in online education here: 

• https://linktr.ee/lmspulse

Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:

• How Stephen views relating to self as an act of introspection 
• What are the most important questions you have to ask to improve any relationship?
• The limitations of online identities
• Letting go of one identity to embrace your more authentic self
• Why Stephen identifies first and foremost as an explorer
• Joachim & Stephen discuss the different impacts of their childhood 
• How growing up in middle-class America prompted a path of exploration 
• Stephen's transformation from living an unremarkable life to becoming a person of extraordinary capacity
• Why mediocrity is the word that gives Stephen the most fear?
• The importance of intentionally investing in deep relationships 
• And much, much more! 

A parting quote from Stephen: 

"Why not commit to saying yes? Let's make this a moment. Let's make this extraordinary."

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• Follow Joachim on Twitter 

In this special turn-the-tables edition of the Relating to Self podcast, former guest Eagan interviews Joachim about trauma, healing, intimate relationships, and much more. 

Eagan is an entrepreneur & digital marketer with a deep passion for philosophy. You can learn more about his Eagan and listen to Eagan's first appearance here:

• Relating to Self - S01E05 - Eagan
• Follow Eagan on Twitter
• Caravan Digital

In today's episode, Eagan & Joachim speak about: 

• The success of the Relating to Self podcast
• Joachim's journey of healing
• Habitual patterns & hedonistic pleasures 
• The practice of stepping into pleasure
• How trauma patterns can manifest differently
• How to remove negative people from your life
• Joachim's thoughts on intimate relationships 
• The value of deep human connections 
• The importance of sitting with hardships 
• How to work through trauma in intimate relationships
• Holding space and taking ownership of responsibility
• Joachim's 'controversial' take on traditional marriage
• The perceived value of eternal life
• An alternative approach to celebrating intimate human connection  
• And much, much more! 

A parting quote from Eagan: 

"There is so much we are not ready to hear." 

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• Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
• Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Maxwell who begins each day with journaling with poetry.

Maxwell is a storyteller, filmmaker and creative. He currently works as a partner and Creative Director at Telescope Studios.

You can learn more about Maxwell and his work:

• Telescope Studios 
• https://twitter.com/Maxwell_Kang

Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:

• The difficulties of relating to others 
• Morning routines (and how to create them) 
• Habit creation and sustained motivation 
• How to create and maintain a journaling practice
• Reducing friction 
• Starting small and celebrating small victories 
• Atomic Habits by James Clear
• Habitual cues and trigger action points 
• Habit stacking 
• Creating a wind-down routine 
• Learning from trauma 
• When is the best time to meditate? 
• Learning how to be a good partner
• Listening and questioning stories that we tell ourselves

A parting quote - "Collect moments, not things." 

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• Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
• Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
• Podcast updates and other valuable resources

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In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Anna, or is it a conversation with one of her parts?

Anna V is a clinical scientist, brainstormer, believer, and storyteller on a mission to bridge the gender health gap.

Learn more about Anna and her work:

• https://www.linkedin.com/in/annavyb/
• https://www.instagram.com/the.sassytribe/

Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:

• Menstrual leave policies 
• How startup culture catalyzed Anna's search for self-compassion
• The importance of saying no
• The societal notion that suffering is necessary to reach your goals
• Anna's experience with burnout 
• How yoga taught Anna not to always go 100%
• Lessons learned from hiking 
• Cold shower therapy
• Internal family systems 
• And much, much more!

Parting quote:

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”

— Seneca

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• Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
• Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
• Podcast updates and other valuable resources

If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review. 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Benjamin Tirone Nunes for whom whatever he gives his attention has something to tell him about himself. 

Creative at heart, Benjamin is passionate about giving expression to human possibility, always seeking to explore drivers of transformation. He is the Managing Director at Rebundance. 

You can learn more about Benjamin’s work and listen to his curated playlist here:

• https://rebundance.com/about-us/
• https://twitter.com/BenTN
• https://tinyurl.com/bensspotifyplaylist

Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:

• Using conversations as a tool to understand yourself better
• The benefits of having “annoying” friends
• How to develop tools to understand your needs
• The power of making delicious and healing food
• Misconceptions about personal development and the importance of vulnerability
• A Beginner's Guide to the 7 Chakras
• How Benjamin finds peace at 1AM in the morning
• Joachim and Benjamin’s shared the love of music
• Ben’s experience attending more than 450 live acts in two years
• Using music as a tuning fork for the current cultural zeitgeist
• The relationship between the music and the lyrics
• “What am I giving attention to and what is that trying to tell me”
• How to broaden your concept of relationships to be more open and seen in the world

Sign up for the newsletter to receive:

• Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
• Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
• Podcast updates and other valuable resources

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In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to Aurore Fagnen who is consciously entering in a relationship with her own fingers. 

Aurore accompanies women to heal and reveal themselves through the power of their sensual bodies and their sexual energy.

You can learn more about Aurore and her work here: 

• https://aurorefagnen.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/aurore_fagnen/

To continue improving your relationship with yourself and receive a curated collection of resources, visit:

• https://relatingtoself.com

Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode: 

• Creating space for quality time for and with yourself 
• How your environment impacts your relationship to self
• How to take responsibility and own your pleasure
• The societal shame and guilt associated with self pleasure 
• Sex as an essential tool for self-knowledge and exploration 
• The difference between urban & rural life
• The difference between apartments and houses
• Self-partnership
• The Inner Work of Partnership
• How to craft an environment for thriving partnerships
• Making conscious choices according to your hierarchy of values 
• If you do not address your needs, they will express themselves 
• Joachim’s Simple Mindfulness Meditation
• Subtle embodiment practices to improve self-awareness and sexual intimacy 
• Ecstatic dance 
• Relating to body parts & Internal Family Systems 
• Proprioception 
• Rituals with essential oils 
• Using taste to deepen self-connection
• And much, much, more!  

If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it with a friend and leaving a rating or review.

In this episode of the Relating to Self podcast, Joachim speaks to Amanda Efthimiou, who believes that slowing down can speed things up.

Amanda is a strategist & storyteller working at the intersection of mental health advocacy, technology, and psychedelic wellness.

You can learn more about Amanda and her work here:

• https://www.amandaefthimiou.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/amaiou/
• https://medium.com/@amanda.amaiou

To continue improving your relationship with yourself and receive a curated collection of resources, visit:

• https://relatingtoself.com

Topics, resources, and useful links mentioned in the episode:

• Amanda’s personal history with mental health and how plant medicine became part of her story
• The many benefits of plant medicine
• Her journey moving from Berlin to Lisbon and the power of pausing during moments of transition
• The importance of integration
• Internal and external motivations
• The influence of the ocean for Joachim and Amanda in relating to self
• The idea of how we ride the wave of life is what really matters
• The inner knowledge within the body
• Rituals of meditation, yoga, dace and surfing
• How psychedelics can shift your relationship with different parts
• What are mentors and how to find mentorship?

To continue improving your relationship with yourself, visit and receive a curated collection of resources, visit:

• https://relatingtoself.com

Sign up for the newsletter to receive:

• Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
• Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
• Podcast updates and other valuable resources

In this episode of Relating to Self, Joachim speaks to Natasha Figueroa, whose magic zone is the narrow gap between out of the comfort zone, but within the boundaries.

In this conversation, they explore a wide array of topics including:

• The many benefits of being open to feedback
• The differences between introversion and extroversion
• The immense power of the voice for self-exploration
• The f*ck yes mentality
• Natasha’s “magic zone”
• Stepping into fear
• Intrinsic wisdom & self trust
• Natasha’s identification as the queen and king of boundaries
• The societal shame associated with saying no
• Why the word “no” is among Natasha’s favorite words
• The concept of damnation and its relationship to codependency
• And much, much more!

Natasha Figueroa is the founder of Jellyfish Heart, whose mission is to:

• Support people to embrace vulnerability
• Lead to intimacy & connectivity
• Foster a loving relationship with self
• Realize & release  judgements
• Refocus on heart & body over mind
• Share tools to be our most authentic selves

She also works with Art International as a facilitator for their program, “The Art of Being Human.”

You can follow Natasha on Instagram:

• https://www.instagram.com/jellyfishheart/

To continue improving your relationship with yourself, visit https://relatingtoself.com

Sign up for the newsletter to receive:

• Free collections of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself
• Simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself
• Podcast updates and other valuable resources

Mary Lemmer brings joy to empowering people to improve themselves and the world around them. She believes that improvisation is a practice that can lead to a better relationship with yourself. 

Mary is the founder of Improve, a company that improves people’s lives by using techniques inspired by improv comedy and behavioral research. 

In this fascinating conversation, Joachim and Mary explore: 

• The improv warm-up technique “Crazy Eights” 
• How to use rituals to prepare for podcasts or important events in our daily lives 
• The importance of letting go of thoughts and getting into our bodies 
• How Mary incorporates different breathing techniques like pranayama into her daily routine 
• Mary morning routine of meditation routine and “Morning Pages” the journaling technique popularized by Julia Cameron 
• Joachim’s experiment with lucid dreaming and maintaining a dream journal 
• The inspiration and insight of dream interpretation 
• How the fundamental improv principle of “Yes, and…” directly impact your relationship with yourself 
• Mary’s belief that improv provides a psychologically safe space to practice new beliefs, behaviors and habits. 
• How improv not only helped Mary with honing her skills as a comedian, but also allowed her to deepen her perspective, self-inquiry and exploration. 
• Talking to yourself (or your pet) as a technology for thinking 
• Joachim’s experience as a professional musician and the idea “that there is nothing that engages the brain more than performing music.” 
• The difference between rote memorization and improvisation 
• How improvisation allows you be more fully in the present 
• “We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are” ― Anaïs Nin 
• The benefits of shadow work and Internal Family Systems 
• The improv technique first word last word 

To learn more about Mary Lemmer and her work, visit: 

• https://marylemmer.com/ 
• Watch her debut comedy special “Living with my Parents” 
• Watch her Ted Talk "How Improv can Improve your leadership and life"
• Learn more about her company “Improve” 

To continue improving your relationship with yourself, visit https://relatingtoself.com

Sign up for Joachim's newsletter to receive:

• a free collection of guided meditations, specifically created for improving your relationship with yourself 
• simple practices to improve your relationship with yourself 
• podcast updates and exclusive resources

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives. "

My story of self is exactly that - a story." - Joachim 

He opens with a story about meditation. And how his first dip into it gave him a breath of clarity. This, he concludes, was the beginning of the healing process of his core trauma. Meditation on unconditional love opened him up to release the tension he holds for certain people. In working to help people feel love in his own mind, Joachim has embarked on a journey he is now cruising on. The current scene is that of turning to himself for tension resolution. Troy mentions the strange violence that is considered normal when somebody exerts the tension they feel onto others. To not having a space to express himself outwardly growing up, Joachim has responded with expressing himself through music in his mind. And then making it all about expressing himself through the music he composes. Troy's observation on that is how creatives who come from intense trauma tend to be overly focused on creating the perfect piece that would make people understand them. Now Joachim has turned to understanding and accepting himself. 

"Meditation is sitting with what is" - Joachim, as quoted by Troy. Let's sit for a moment with this final episode of the first season of Relating to Self. 

The host who is visiting today, invites you all to ask your questions. Send them to stela@relatingtoself.com and they shall reach him. You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx 

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives. Sara tends to lose herself in a conversation as she tends to focus on other people's needs more than her own. She has devised an approach to counter this. It consists of 3 steps. The first one is to acknowledge what the other person needs, then to acknowledge what she needs herself and finally to voice that need. Elaborating on being authentic with others, Joachim compares conversing with dancing, in the sense that the more experienced your partner is, the better the flow. "Why do you need a second person to be yourself?" Sara asks herself. The two discuss difficult thoughts and how simply acknowledging them and being present can help alleviate them. "Instead of quieting the thoughts, I enter the kinder garden" remarks Joachim. Sara leaves us with the sentiment that "It's so beautiful in this relationship with ourselves. It's that it's always changing and always evolving... if we're not afraid of relating to ourselves." Our guest has a podcast herself. It's called Learning Day and can be found on all of the major streaming platforms. Here's a link for convenience: https://anchor.fm/learning-day And they have a web page at learningday.community You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

Isla begins by taking us through her home in her head. Herself is sitting there, waiting for them to connect. But she didn't immediately notice that the home was occupied. It took some exploration. Now she sees this connection with herself there as relating to self.

Space is very important to our guest. She makes sure to tweak the place she inhabits just enough so that she can feel safe there. Along with that, Isla takes care to nourish her headspace. Her journaling habit is largely observations on her thoughts and sensations. We also hear about her more formal explorations of her mind, guided by a therapist.

Isla poses a question: What isn't self-love?

Also do you dance with your belly?

And she recommends a book - The Heroine's Journey by Maureen Murdock

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

For Julius, relating to self comes in two parts. The first one he's experienced for longer. It's about looking in and discovering who you are in the moment. The second part is acceptance of what you find. Our guest was stuck on the idea that he should cater to what people need him to be. Then he came to realize that when he leans into his authentic self, people tend to be drawn to him.

Julius is soon to be a father. He both realizes that he will have to move relating to self to the side. And that he will be partially relating to himself when he relates to his child. Because his child will also be a part of himself. In preparation, Julius is working on stabilizing his relationship with himself.

Our guest shares his thoughts in a newsletter one can sign up to through https://www.juliusbachmann.com/. He also welcomes anyone who might want to reach out to him there.

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

"The beliefs I have about myself are what defines which actions I take and do not take" Georgie feels responsible and cares for who she is going to become. She is mindful of the long term impact that her actions might have. In the sense of teaching herself to act and be a certain way. "If I don't do things because I am afraid, and I stay with the familiar, the long term impact of that is that I never grow."

Our guest sees the inner critic as a helpful voice that helps us manage our expectations of ourselves. It tries to make sure that we don't try something we'd fail at to prevent us from not trying it ever again. She advices us to embrace that voice and thank it for protecting us. But recognize sometimes that you shouldn't be listening because there are other parts speaking that may know better.

Georgie and Joachim agree that boundaries and being specific improve both our relationship with ourselves and the ones we have with others.

Georgie's company website is at https://www.triggerconversations.co.uk/

Their social media accounts can be found at  https://www.instagram.com/triggerconversations/ and https://www.facebook.com/TriggerConversations/

And you can follow our guest's thoughts at https://conversationswithgeorgie.substack.com/

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

We apologize for an episode cut short due to internet connection.

"You're either in the mental story, or here." Sam concludes that we are either happy and present in the moment. Or we are rummaging through our head trash. He practices mental showers to not only clean his body, but process what has happened to him throughout the day. He says that acknowledging a negative emotion takes away its power.

For a while, Sam had adopted a constant "all is well" state of mind. Until he noticed that it didn't drive him to move forward. So he pushed it back as his default and started to engage in deep work of envisioning. That proved beneficial.

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

For Ayah, we are not a human being having spiritual experiences, but a spiritual being having human experiences. And a prerequisite to getting the most out of it is to have a strong body that can support the mind as it reaches outward. In this talk, our guest takes us through some of what she's learned in 7 years of daily meditation practice. And some of that knowledge happens to be about finding comfort in not knowing.

Ayah and Joachim talk about a class with an interesting approach. It's called The Class and you can find it here: https://www.theclass.com/ 

Our guest's website is ayahnorris.com and you can also find her on Instagram @ayahnorris - https://www.instagram.com/ayahnorris/.

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

Annelies is threading through a transition. Learning to take in less at a time so that she can appreciate it more. She admits to not being able to rest but has slowed down her life recently due to Corona. This has proved beneficial for her.

It must be difficult to rest when your craft is simultaneously the thing that drains and recharges you. And not practicing it makes you unhappy. Part of what makes it so tiring is that Annelies is able to tap into the perspective of different people. This takes up a lot of energy but makes for a more engaging writing.

Annelies is an author of a number of books that you can find listed and described here: https://www.flandersliterature.be/books-and-authors/author/annelies-verbeke

He latest inspiration is a book about insects called Insecten by Peter Berx and Lieven Scheire. It has helped her form a less anthropocentric perspective on life.

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

"Self love isn't about anything in particular, it's a state of being."

For Alina, curiosity is the safe way she can meet herself. It does not nag her as other parts of her inner voice would. She compares it to the Joker. And shares that it allows her to play, shift things around. In embodying the Joker, Alina tries to not take herself too seriously. This part of her justifies itself and pulls her out of dark places.

It is important to make a second between impulse and response. This gives you the power to make a choice, she tells us. Alina has a strong intuition and a lot of energy to follow it. This sometimes leads her to cross her boundaries. The way she counters this is with her breath. It helps her return back to herself.

Our guest's methods of relating to herself include swimming and swirling like a Dervish. She also enjoys being her best lover. Overall, she is in tune with what she needs in a given moment and gives it to herself.

If you want to follow more of her thoughts and insights you can find her on Instagram @i_embrace.life.

She also shared her website with us. Head to https://wefeast.life/ to find a juicy bit more.

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/

Relating to Self is a podcast that explores how we relate to ourselves. Joachim has conversations with interesting people to learn how they improve their relationship with themselves in order to bring positive change to their lives.

Grace suggests that we should be wary of the self-development culture and mind when we start seeing it as something that we should do, as opposed to something that we want to do. What we can do instead is recognize that we are only humans and exercise compassion with ourselves when we slip into unhealthy behaviors.

Our guest enjoys being in tune with herself and present in the moment. Joachim adds how somebody being in tune with themselves invites other people to let go and be fully present as well.

She points out the importance of talking to yourself nicely. Her method of doing that is by trying to treat herself as a friend would treat her. Joachim chimes in to point out how there is some difference as we don't spend 24 hours of each day with any of our friends.

Grace has written a book called Chill out and Cheer up. You can find that on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Chill-Out-Cheer-Up-Ten-Step-ebook/dp/B08RXFXJRT

You can also find our guest on Instagram: @graceygrossman

You can find Joachim on Twitter: https://twitter.com/joachimbrackx

If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe to the podcast and to our email list: http://relatingtoself.com/