Let me ask you a question. Are you overfunctioning or underfunctioning in your sexual relationship with your spouse? Taking a look at yourself and honestly answering this question can help you have a better relationship. We often get into patterns and dynamics that seem helpful but end up causing more problems in the end. So let’s define what it is and what we can do about it.
This is part two of an amazing interview I did with fellow life coach Julie Balkman. This week we’re talking more about our young adults and how they are really struggling in dating and moving into relationships and into sexual relationships. Whether you're a young adult, either single and dating or newly married or you have young adults, even if you have been married a long time, I think you're going to find some really good, valuable insights into why things are the way they are for you in this episode. If you didn’t hear part one, I would recommend listening to that one first here.
Julie Balkman, founder of the 100 Interviews Project and expert panelist for the LDS dating app Mutual, is a dating expert and certified life coach who helps young adults get out of the dating game and into a real relationship that lasts. The dating game often continues into engagement and marriage, so she also works with newly married couples, helping them build a relationship based on real love and intimacy. With eight years experience working with hundreds of young adults (single and married), she has seen firsthand the desire and need for clear answers, actionable steps, and real results. You can find her at juliebalkmancoaching.com and @lifecoach.julie on Instagram.
This is part one of an amazing interview I did with fellow life coach Julie Balkman. I really wanted to do this interview with Julie because I think a lot of our young adults are really struggling in dating and moving into relationships and into sexual relationships. Whether you're a young adult, either single and dating or newly married or you have young adults, even if you have been married a long time, I think you're going to find some really good, valuable insights into why things are the way they are for you in this episode. Don’t miss part 2 coming next week.
Julie Balkman, founder of the 100 Interviews Project and expert panelist for the LDS dating app Mutual, is a dating expert and certified life coach who helps young adults get out of the dating game and into a real relationship that lasts. The dating game often continues into engagement and marriage, so she also works with newly married couples, helping them build a relationship based on real love and intimacy. With eight years experience working with hundreds of young adults (single and married), she has seen firsthand the desire and need for clear answers, actionable steps, and real results. You can find her at juliebalkmancoaching.com and @lifecoach.julie on Instagram.
Have you noticed that the passion in your sex life has disappeared? It’s time to ignite it again, don’t you think? I was recently on Ashlee Sorenson’s podcast called A Bit Better Everyday and I loved our conversation so much that I asked Ashlee if I could share it with you and she graciously said yes. So, join us as we talk about how we ignite that passion again both in our lives and in the bedroom.
Our definition of sex can really affect how much sex we’re getting. So, how do you define sex? Is sex just penetration and orgasm? Or are there other activities that you define as sex? This isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer but it’s important to ask yourself how you define it and why. Listen as we discuss what a broad definition of sex can do for your sex life.
Have you heard about sleep divorce? "Sleep divorce" is a situation where couples sleep separately on a regular basis to improve their sleep quality due to issues like snoring, different sleeping schedules, or personal preferences. Studies show that it can help save relationships, but it may also cause problems. Listen to this episode to find out what those problems may be and how to make it work in your relationship.
Have you ever been jealous in your relationship? Around 77% of people report feeling at least an occasional jealousy in their relationships. In this episode, we’re talking about jealousy and how a little jealousy in a relationship can be a good thing, but too much jealousy can damage a relationship. Let’s discuss why you’re feeling jealous and what you can do about it.
Sources:
Through my own experience and coaching women for five years, I have come to know what the sexual conditioning of women is in our Christian faith, and how to help them. But women aren’t the only ones affected by our teachings. Men hear that they are the head of the household and women are there to nurture them, including giving them what they “need”. Men hear that they are to push down their emotions to be manly. Along with so many other damaging things. So in this episode, we’re going to talk about those misconceptions and, more importantly, what you can do about them.
How does your body image affect your partner? That's what my guest Amber Price and I are talking about in this episode. Even though body image issues is something you see a lot in women, men have body image issues too. Listen in as we discuss what we do, why we do it and what we can do about it.
You can find more information about Amber at:
In this episode, we talk about the top 4 reasons for low desire in women that I see in my clients. I break down why women have low desire and what to do about it. So if you want to want sex, but you just don’t, this is the episode for you! I also have a lot of men coming to me to help their wives. Let’s talk about that too.
Here are the episodes referenced in this episode:
Taking Care of your husband’s “needs”
Episode 253 - Consenting to Unwanted Sex
Episode 210 - Blue Balls & Blue Beans
Body Image:
Episode 74 - How Body Image Affects Sex
Episode 162 - Attraction & Self-Objectification
Stress:
Episode 226 - The Mental Load That Is Affecting Your Sex Life
Episode 101 - Sex Under Stress
Episode 190 - Creating the Space for Desire
Gender Norms around Initiation
Episode 169 - Initiating Ideas and Styles
Episode 34 - Cultivating Connection & Desire
Episode 86 - Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire
Episode 98 - Embracing Your Sexuality
In this episode, I’m talking to Sheri Brasier about how to gain more confidence in the bedroom. Sheri is a life and style coach which means that she empowers women to have great style and in turn gain confidence. In our discussion, we talked about how to improve how you look at yourself in order to improve how you feel about yourself and sex. This really is an interesting discussion on style and how it makes us feel. Listen in and tell me what you think.
You can find Sheri on:
Her podcast: Creating Unshakable Self Confidence
You can get a freebie called Style Basics Every Woman Should Have in Her Closet by going to this link.
In this episode, I’m speaking with Katie Runyan of Faithful Fling, a subscription role-playing website. We talk about how to easily add role-play into our marriages. This is such a fun episode! Katie talked about how she created her business because it’s what she was looking for when they first started role-playing. Listen to this episode, and then sign up for a free fling.
Katie resides in Kansas City, Missouri with her husband and four children who have all flown the coop! She’s left with an empty house but not an empty marriage yet she spends a lot of time begging them to come home for the weekend! You can find her outside doing a lazy run, visiting local donut shops, taking naps or with her nose in a book.
In the Spring of 2022 she finally took the leap and started her own business where she creates role-play dates for you and your spouse to do together, so Katie is the role-play expert! She named her website Faithful Fling because all of her role-play scenarios will be just between you and your spouse, hence the Faithful part, and she named these fun role-play dates “Flings” because she wanted to apply a fun and flirty word for your role-play date night. She loves what she does and can’t wait for the moment when Faithful Fling becomes a common name for date night!
Katie is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who encourages everyone to embrace their God-given sexuality, improve their intimacy and connection with their spouse and learn to have fun in the bedroom! She’s been married for 24 years and they still date each other every week.
You can find her:
Or email her at katie@faithfulfling.com
Rather than dwelling on the questions your brain is offering to you, answer them. Thoughtfully think about them and answer them. You have the answers already inside of you. I’m so excited to share this teaser from my subscription podcast with you. In this episode, I talk to Jen and Floyd about taking things to the next level. I’ve been working with them for a couple of years now and the change has been amazing. But now they’re ready to go to the next level with their sex life. Listen in to see what that means for them and what questions they have as they do it. Are you ready to go to the next level?
How do I get my wife to develop her sexual self? That is probably one of the most common questions I get from husbands. This question makes the assumption that if I just say the right thing in the right way their eyes will be opened and all will be right in my world. But that is not usually the case. And what it actually ends up doing is creating more unhealthy pressure. So, how do you create healthy pressure? Listen to this episode to find out.
In this episode, I’m speaking with Dr. Cami Hurst about her research into consenting to unwanted sex. This research is ground breaking in understanding why so many middle aged women have no libido. I am so happy to be able to share both what she found in her research and also what to do about it.
Cami Hurst, LAMFT, is a sex and relationship therapist in Meridian, ID. Cami operates a private practice offering therapy, coaching, and online small group education. She is a founder and current President of the Idaho Association of Sexual Health Professionals (ISHP). She holds a PhD in Clinical Sexology and a Master’s Degree in Marriage, Couple, and Family Therapy. Cami is passionate about helping couples and individuals improve their sexual health.
You can find the slides that we reference in the show here.
Find Cami on:
Her website - https://camihurst.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.camihurst/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/camijill/
Her podcast, Sex Therapy 101 - https://camihurst.com/sex-therapy-101-podcast
My clients often have transactional relationships with their spouses without even realizing it. In this episode, I want to explain what a transactional marriage is, why we don’t want it and what we want instead. I was recently reminded that people often think of our relationship with our Heavenly Father as transactional when all He wants is a relationship with us. As we pattern our lives after our Heavenly Parents, we can come to realize that the relationship is the most important part of our marriages as well. Let’s talk about transactional vs relational marriages.
What is empowerment? More importantly, how can we be sexually empowered? In this episode, we’re going to not only answer these questions, but also how to know if we are sexually empowered or if we’re just seeking outside validation. Sexual empowerment feels differently for everyone which is why it’s something we evaluate for ourselves rather than have someone else tell us. Listen to find out how to be empowered sexually.
In this episode, I’m speaking with Joey Mascio. He is a fellow life coach and good friend who normally works with teens helping them become the hero of their own story. But today we’re taking it a step further. A lot of what we think about ourselves comes from when we were teenagers. So we too need to find a way to become the heroes of our stories! Whether you were a teenager once or are raising a teenager, this is a must listen episode!
You can find Joey at:
His website: http://www.sidekicktohero.com/
His Instagram account just for teens: https://www.instagram.com/sidekicktohero/
His Instagram account for parents: https://www.instagram.com/joey_sidekicktohero/
Or his podcast, Secrets for an Awesome Life: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secrets-for-an-awesome-life/id1504492900
I’m excited to share with you a teaser for my new subscription podcast, Embracing You. In this Embracing You episode, I talk to Emily about how shame is affecting her sex life. We discuss where this shame comes from and some ways to get over it. Sexual shame is something I see a lot in my clients, especially in our conservative Christian culture, even though we don’t always see it as shame. Listen in as I teach Emily what she can do to stop letting the shame keep her from getting what she truly wants.
If you like what you hear, join me in the Embracing You podcast by going to amandalouder.com/embracingyoupod
What is enthusiastic consent and why do we need to talk about it? That’s what we’re going to delve into in this episode. We have to enthusiastically consent to sex every single time. Just laying there and letting him do whatever he wants isn’t enthusiastic consent. Listen in to see how to give enthusiastic consent and how much better it can make your sex life.
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