TesseTalks

People are less familiar with, feedforward which inspires quality performance. That’s because there really isn't any point pointing out to people what they're really bad at, because they probably already know. The brilliant thing about feedforward is that people at the receiving end of feedforward see aspects of their performance that they are less good at - start becoming better! This is because people feel good and are not trying to undo what they are not good at. In pursuit of excellence Two themes emerge - excellence and empathy. Feedforward is a totally different way of talking about performance.

Debra Allcock Tyler reflects on the power of feedback “What is the point of saying something to somebody that they are not going to do anything about? Instinctively as a human being we assume feedback is going to be bad. As managers and as leaders, we have an enormous amount of power of other people. The biggest power we've got is over their emotional state. “Feedback is about the person who gives it and the person who receives it, and both have got to be in the right space. We can wield feedback so inappropriately. We forget how much power we have over those we lead. We can make our staff utterly miserable without thinking about the context of feedback or the support required for it to land well.

“Working with a coach is lovely. In that space a coach can really push and prod and poke, just like the journalist would, but in a much more supportive way. You can't think your way into a career change, because at some point you get stuck. So much is shifting. This isn't a kind of one and you're done. It's not like you decide and you're stuck forever”, says Rachel Schofield.

Rachel Schofield worked for the BBC for 20 years as a journalist and news presenter before training as career and . She has turned her journalist’s passion for asking awkward questions onto the world of work, helping individuals think creatively, embrace the discomfort of change, and figure out what fulfilling and impactful careers look like in our rapidly changing world.

TesseTalks review "Boundary Boss", written by Terri Cole - The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free, with special guest Erin Randall who is all about happy people doing great work. Boundaries really matter. In Boundary Boss, Cole models how people can connect with the appropriateness and benefits of putting boundaries in place and begin to apply this understanding to their individual situations. She gives you exercises and scripts to follow so that you can model it first. You can try it out, in your own sand pitted home before you go take this out for spin in the real world. She gives people the steps to practice, to gain confidence and the reader is able to take that forward. With practice, I can in my own words, learn it and put in place appropriate boundaries that serve me. The mantra is try, fail, forgive, repeat. Cole invites the reader to release the old reaction and choose a response that is in your highest good – the 3 Rs (Recognise, Release – Respond)

Life changing is achieved by a map to happiness. Jane Gunn points to a compass of North, East South and East and West with a link to personal and professional values.

N in North, what we're trying to do is to say, what's going on Now? What is the immediate challenge? Essential, even if you're starting up a collaboration.

E in East stands for "Explore". Where am I with this? What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What are my own hopes and dreams? You know, we need to really understand ourselves better, and then understand each other better.

S in South, stands for "Solutions". Decide on what criteria do we make that decision? What criteria could we apply to this? Also, what values do we have? What personal values do we have? What group values do we have? How do we apply those to this thinking process? We think deeply, we question everything, we question ourselves as to see what the right way through challenging times is.

W in West stands for "Walking Forward". It's a commitment, it's an ability to leave any bad feelings from the past behind, so to draw a line in the sand. It also stands for wisdom. It's reaching that higher level of wisdom and possibly learning from yourself and from the past. What have I learned? What do I take forward with me?

Dreams can become a reality. The dream you hold is what bears fruit. Tenacity and patience can make a difference to stay with our intention. Shortlisted three times for the Championship Award , for Tesse Akpeki, it is third time lucky. She has been crowned Champion for Governance 2023 by the Chartered Governance Institute for United Kingdom and Republic of Ireland.

“I would like to thank everyone who nominated me over the three opportunities to become a champion. I am so glad I can serve people and bring a measure of joy as well as competence to what matters to them” says Tesse Akpeki FCG

“Brown Girl in the Ring came from a place of desperation” says Olukemi Ogunyemi. “Though my recollections are pretty harsh, the memoirs reflect my reality. All of us were in some kind of pain. People feel judged sometimes when you ask them to change something without any understanding of why they could consider doing so. If we understand things, we are more inclined to make changes” says Olukemi”.

“All of the experiences have been a learning, a deepening understanding to myself. The painful moments are deeply painful. The pain does pass and as it passes, you can understand why it's happened. This is not about accepting it. Sometimes it's just about understanding so that you can move to the next part. Struggles are where our biggest growth comes from. Then if we choose to do so, we can share our experiences and help others. “

Stephen Sidebottom brings a refreshing take on transformations.

“ People are actually extraordinarily adaptable. The idea that people don't like change is, I think fundamentally false. What I think is true is that organizations don't like change. The construct people are asked to operate is rigid and fixed, and the mechanism for adapting and changing those constructs, whether they're social constructs or organizational constructs, are much slower than the mechanisms by which people themselves change.”

“ I'm not a big hints and tips person. My approach is often through studying how people work in an organizational context and what needs to be true to succeed.” Stephen’s experience of managing enabling functions including people, finance, legal, operations, risk and technology comes in handy. TesseTalks curiously explore various angles of Stephen’s thinking.

“I asked an audience what they are passionate about just before the pandemic. Then as well as now, they admitted running the hamster wheel so fast that they have lost complete touch as to who they are, what matters to them, and what they want for themselves in the world. When we can create workplaces where people can feel like I'm doing work that enlivens me. I'm learning, I'm growing, I'm reaching. I can feel myself growing toward my potential, that the playground of life where people really come alive and realize their potential while their organisation does business that betters the world” says Alise Cortez. 

The first part of the book “The Great Revitalization” touches on the world you find yourself in as a leader. The second part lists 21 best practices to create a workplace that is anchored by the activation of meaning and purpose. Sources of fuel include passion, inspiration and the attitudinal stance that we take whenever life throws it at whatever it's going through at us and which shapes our mindset.

How can elements make a difference? Erin Randall explains how. “Magnesium" is work each person is going to be doing towards crafting better things. Each voice is a voice of a system. What does this system need now? Ad Meliora means to better things. The catalytic question is “what do I want to create? “.

The Quest

1.What is the purpose of a system? Is it to protect or is it to create? “If we want empathy in systems, if we want that connection in people, we need to be able to stand in those and shift and to be able to listen to what the system is asking us to find.” Says Erin. 

2.What is the inner work required to do the outer work? How they want to be seen? What do you want others to notice in you? How confident are you to do the work the world requires from you? The litmus test is what are you seeing that I don't? What do you want me to hear? The answer to these questions gives us more range and more aptitude

Ray Martin, author of “ Life Without A Tie, Finding Your Path Amidst the Noise, Chaos, and Pressure to Conform “ says - “I won the Daily Telegraph Business Leader of the Year award, so I had public recognition.

So I had all the trimmings and trappings of success. But I have to say that honestly, for quite a few of those years, I wasn't feeling like I was really, truly happy. And I felt like it somehow I'd managed to end up in someone else's life. I was living a life that others expected of me and not life I truly wanted to be living.” “ I was trapped in it because it was very rewarding and very materially comfortable.

And I was kind of like not really wanting to walk out of it either, even though I wasn't happy. So when I was forced to, because my business partner, the woman I was married to, said, "I'm leaving you and I'm leaving the company". It was very sudden my father actually passed away at the same time”

Erin Randall elaborates on The Funky Monkey. Listening to Erin, the key considerations are: “Whose responsibility is it? How can I hold you accountable? What can you hold me accountable for’’? These questions can bring about alignment in our organisations in our teams and in our personal lives. Why do boundaries matter? Boundaries are essential to build and sustain healthy relationships, to make good neighbours and to act as anchor points for conversations and clarity. Erin is passionate about happy people doing happy works and brings a humble, playful and intelligent outlook to explore how the environments we create and the systems we design become places of impact and realisation of potential. Of particular importance is the difference between responsible and accountable. These differentiations bring clarity to how we want to work together, who is responsible for what and how we sit with discomfort in the system while finding a way through.

Sade Marriott and Max Ekesi share their views in this recording that shines a light on a post covid world. There has been a raised awareness, especially in the last three years - of the importance of mental health. There is a lot of PTSD.

People have gone through one of the most shocking experience with the pandemic They have rearranged their lives, becoming detached from a lot of things that they were taking for granted.

There has been a change in focus as people are waking up to what truly matters. Grief and pain have reigned as people lost loved ones. For organisations, wellness has risen to the top of the agenda.

PayPal for instance hosts a wellness day every two month. Employees get to focus on themselves, their friends, their family, and the environment.

“Life cannot exist without death. New life springs up, depending on the time of year. If we all talked about death as much as we talked about birth, the world would be a very different place" says Jane Duncan Rogers, a TEDx speaker , an author and end of life expert. "Life happens and we have a choice to go with it and make the best of it or not".

“I was highly paid, but I was miserable and my health was suffering. And as I have gotten older, happiness and health and wellness are so much more important to me. I was just miserable” says Lisa Hammett. “Life had no colour. I like to equate it as being devoid of colour. It's just gray. If you don't have your health, you don't have a whole lot. Happiness helps you to just get up in the morning, and live your life to the best of your ability. When you get near or at burnout, you lose the capacity to dream. “

And hear more TesseTalks

Sara Ramsey defines co-leadership as” leaders coming together to make joint decision making and taking shared responsibilities”.

Co-leaders may be co-founders, co-CEOs or leaders who jointly support self-managing and self-organizing organizations. “ I get to work with all sorts of inspiring people, you know, wanting to do positive things in the world. They want to try and do things differently as well”, says Sara.

Failure's not just unavoidable, it's necessary, important and an unavoidable part of life. This is a common theme of the book, "Get On The Bull” - a giant leadership analogy based on bull riders. They fall a lot. They get thrown off bulls in dramatic and painful fashion. When you’re going to do stuff, you’re going to get it wrong and you're going to mess it up. If you aren't failing, you probably aren't trying enough new things. The statistic for the absolute best bull riders in the world, is on average, 30% success rate when it comes to staying on the bull for eight seconds.

“We are keeping things real by leaning into the context out guests are operating in. We are curious about their situations while encouraging them to find solutions and approaches tailored to them. We are holding this open safe space for them as a mirror where they are arriving at their own solutions.”

“We are going online as much as possible because even though we are podcasting, podcasting in itself has changed. Podcasting has gone from just being the audio file that you can take anywhere with you to being a video and audio or sometimes just video. We are seeing the opportunities that are growing for us to do podcasting with a more modern twist. We can bring on a live audience to speak with us, interact with us and to interact with our guests.”

Max Ekesi’s favourite phrase is, "I never made the mistake of taking life too seriously". Max’s diverse multicultural and multiethnic background and experiences are proving to be core assets to his highly adaptable nature. “ I grew up in Nigeria, but my first language was Italian with a Roman accent. My adaptive mindset is my super power. I am fluid, respectful, able to connect with various cultures and have an ability to help people to feel at home. Integration helps the collaboration.” says Max. He has been a people's manager, an agile coach, a Scrum Master, a programme portfolio manager. Now he is a senior manager over a team of Agile coaches in the engineering IT space of PayPal.

Our guest Mick Rogers a consultant at Client Centred Consulting spoke passionately about the lens that make a difference. As Mick explains,

“ Client Centred Consulting leans away from being prescriptive. Instead of asking the question, how can we help and be useful when we're not the expert in the problem or in the subject? Client centeredness is a way of maintaining, respecting and working with the rights of other people. This lens recognises that for us to survive and thrive we need other people.”