In today’s episode I’m saying it. That thought that you think and say every so often to yourself. That thought that you don’t dare say to anyone else and if you do, you share it in confidence to your therapist, coach or best friend. That thought that may be true. You feel guilty thinking it. You feel stuck. You’re not happy. You don’t know if you can do this anymore.
Have you thought it? Have you felt it? Or maybe you are feeling this right now. Drum roll …….. It is…..I hate caregiving. I don’t want to do this anymore.
If you feel this way or felt this at any time, you are not alone.
So let’s talk about your feelings, your valid feelings and thoughts about caregiving. Psychological stress makes you feel this love-hate caregiving relationship. You get that feeling of mixed emotions for your loved one. That’s when those feelings tell you “you can’t go on, or you can’t do this anymore or when stress is super high, you use that hate word - I hate caregiving and I just want to run away”.
Let’s now break down some reasons why. Maybe one of these applies or maybe more than one.
1. Your relationship has now changed.
2. Past experiences with your love one.
3. The timing is horrible and now you are expected to put things on hold or adjust and balance.
4. You are not good at caregiving. It feels like you can’t do anything right or it’s a struggle. There are many job responsibilities with caregiving.
5. Your not in good health emotionally or physically
6. You miss your friends, passions and personal time
7. You get no support or very little. You see other family members enjoying life and you are doing it all.
8. Your situation is not optimistic, challenging and down right hard
9. This journey has been going on for years.
10. Hard decisions have to be made and you are not ready to make them.
These reasons are valid. I felt so much better understanding that it wasn’t me. It was the reason.
So how do you get beyond these thoughts and feelings. Like I said before - it starts with understanding and acceptance.
Now let’s talk about how to move to more joy and less of these hate feelings.
1. Do you hate it all or just bits and pieces of it?
2. Do you have to do it all?
3. Do you need to talk with someone (friend, therapy, coach)?
4. Self-care and respite care
5. Think like a CEO
You can’t let caregiving consumer YOU. I know there no such thing as balance but there is a life of joy with less stress.
You can quit - yes, I said you can quit. Check out Episode 62 Quit feeling guilty. Quit getting down on yourself. Quit saying yes
Get my free resource: 17 SHIFTS TO TAKE CONTROL OF CAREGIVER STRESS that will take you to the best version of yourself.
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