#eldercare

I can't seem to move on. What's keeping me up? My mom's death. Guilt and anger have consumed me.  I blame myself and our government for the deaths of many.  I will never forgive the Democratic party for their role in Covid. People died alone and scared. Families were kept away from their loved ones, while they died alone. The thought of that has kept me up more than anything...

What's keeping me up? Missing my mom. Mother's day has came and went. Going through all the, "firsts," without my mom. First birthday. First Mother's Day, etc. The fact I have PTSD and a lot of anger toward our government for keeping us apart. The fact my mom and many other people, had to die alone and scared due to Covid policies. No one should have to die scared and alone. I haven't been able to move on or get over our government keeping me away.

What's keeping me up? Religion, gosspel music, the one year anniversary of my mom's death and the fact that the month of April has always sucked for me. I do not consider myself religious but I do have faith. Or at least, try. George Michael was right, "Ya Gotta Have Faith." I try hard not to lose faith in myself and others. But man, the world ahs been testing me. 

I'm a hot mess...the end :-) 

Children below. Parents above. Stressed-out caregivers in the middle, who spread themselves thin between managing demands from spouses, careers, home, health and more. Also known as the "Sandwich Generation" or the "Sandwich Zone", as my guest today, Karen Osborne describes it. 

Takeaways:

1. It’s so easy to loose yourself in the pressure being in the sandwich zone, so you need to be aware of it.
2. There’s nothing like a situation of your child needing you and your support more than anything to highlight what is important in your life.
3. Sometimes as a parents we have to accept that we can’t give them everything they need and be willing to look outside the home for help.
4. As mothers we think we can fix everything, but the only thing we can do is let go. It may be hard to hear from others that your kids need something more than you can give them, but you need to listen.
5. Parenting lesson Number one is the importance of holding space for your children and listening without giving advice or passing judgement. It’s your silliness to sit in the muck with them and just be there.
6. Let them know that voice in their head is just a voice. and At that’s all it is.
7. It is a fine line to walk with your parents to maintain that you are the child and they are the parent when you are having to take care of issues for them and with them.  You don’t want to step on their independent toes.
8. Death and the talk around it and aging needs to normalized. Things change, they just do. Start talks and making plans with your parents when they are in their prime and  in a place to tell you what their plans are and what they want. 
9. ASK a lot of questions of your parents, their doctors and care providers. Get as informed as possible.
10. Make sure that your siblings are involved in all conversations. There’s so much baggage of childhood that you may need to work through now.
11. Make recording of your parents now. Get their voices and their stories so that you and your child have them in the future.
12. Being in the middle of the sandwich zone, it is easy to feel that you are living your life for everyone else. But you need to put yourself first sometimes. Stop setting yourself on fire to make others warm. 
13. Do something for yourself every day to bring yourself joy however infinitesimal it is. Care and invest in yourself as much as you do everyone else.
14. Being in the sandwich zone can put so much stress on you and your partner it just becomes a huge magnifying glass on issues. You are constantly in triage mode putting out fires all around you. It’s easy to lose the priority of honoring your connection as a couple. 
15. You gotta have each other’s back no matter what and you face the world toge

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Questions? Email me: lesley@lesleylmcshane.com

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The assisted living facility mom lives, is on lockdown...AGAIN! My mom is calling me in tears, scared & anxious. 

No Christmas for the elderly. I discuss quarantine during Christmas in assisted living facilities. 

Today I discuss dementia and how Covid has affected the elderly population.

Tom & Tina discuss the option of Adult Family Homes as a living option for seniors.  They discuss the types of services and the benefits of a more individualized living environments, and also challenges presented with COVID-19.  

Tina Jewitt 
Cedar Gardens Adult Family Home
http://www.oslongview.com/Cedar-Gardens-Adult-Family-Home.html 

A portion of this program has been sponsored by Joe at F1 For Help.  F1 For Help, for all your computer related issues in and around the North Idaho Region.

Based upon my work in long term care over the last 40 years I have been fortunate to meet and work with many dedicated and talented individuals that are sharing their knowledge, passion and experience.

Produced by:

Ed Bejarana
 Zenith Exhibits Studios
 www.zenithexhibits.studio