Dad Postpartum Depression is Real | Twin Mom Jayme Wise
In today's episode, Nat chats with Jayme Wise, mom to 20-month-old twins, about conceiving her twins a few days apart thanks to multiple ovulation, symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD), preeclampsia, delivery at 37 weeks, a rocky start to breastfeeding, a partner who suffered from dad postpartum depression, and so much more.
Jayme Wise is a catastrophe claim rep who works about 50-60 hours a week from St. Louis, Missouri. She and her husband Andrew have been married since June of 2018 and have 20-month-old twins. They enjoy lots of walks in the park and reading Brown Bear, Brown Bear approximately 600 times a day.
Jayme's Top 3 Pieces of Advice for Twin Parents:
1. Talk about EVERYTHING with your partner before the babies are born. And I mean EVERYTHING. Talk about an action plan for preterm labor, talk about your hospital bag and what it should contain, talk about worst case scenarios for pregnancy/delivery, talk about what your partner would need to do to advocate for you in the event that you can’t advocate for yourself, and talk about what life is going to look like when you bring them home. And have a back up plan for ALL of that.. set expectations with your partner about distribution of housework, baby care, etc. and make sure to discuss PPD in as much detail as you can to be aware of the symptoms / signs. My husband actually got PPD after delivery but we were able to recognize it because we’d discussed it in detail.
2. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. When you are comfortable enough after delivery to push the stroller, get used to putting both babies in & out of car seats and taking them for walks, on midday drives, etc. Getting out of the house and into the sun whenever possible truly helps to make you feel like a human being again. Going for a walk in the park with your tiny human beings marveling at nature somehow feels 6000 times more amazing when you’ve got millions of postpartum hormones coursing through your body!
3. Love your partner truly, madly, deeply - sounds so cheesy but just try to remember at every single step that this is the person you’ve chosen to be your partner in crime, your love, and your other half. Your babies were born out of the love you share with that person and they’re going to go into the world (hopefully) exemplifying that love to everyone they meet. I heard so many pieces of advice about “not getting a divorce in the first year because you can make it!” And I was honestly a little horrified? Having twins definitely made my husband and me closer and I’m so grateful for that!
What She Wishes She Had Done Differently:
1. Wish I would not have given up on breastfeeding both babies. My hospital stay was rough, and the lactation consultant that we had was just... mean. The day nurses weren’t that helpful in terms of getting babies to latch and I couldn’t stand hearing “well they only need a couple of drops of colostrum! Their bellies are so small!” anymore, so on the second night we finally had to beg a night nurse to order formula, and the twins were eating but then they made an assumption that I just didn’t WANT to breastfeed so I no longer got help. It was such a frustrating and saddening experience. My son refused to nurse most of his first year and would actually scream every single time I tried. Sometimes he’d settle down and nurse and other times he’d fight until I gave up and just gave him a bottle.
2. I wish I would have worked out more and created a time for myself to actually focus on my health.
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