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    207. How to have better conversations

    enJune 25, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • PodcastsPodcasts offer diverse stories, perspectives, and exclusive content, making them a great source for inspiration, education, and entertainment.

      Podcasts offer a wide range of stories and perspectives that can inspire, educate, and entertain. From the Super Secret Bestie Club discussing love, friendship, and secrets, to Dr. Maya Shunker's A Slight Change of Plans where people share their hard-won wisdom about navigating life's transformative moments, to the inspiring story of Afghan Star bringing music back to Afghanistan, to The Bright Side's exploration of what we might accomplish if we believed we couldn't fail, and Betrayal's intriguing tales of deception - there's a podcast for every interest and curiosity. Additionally, many podcasts offer exclusive content for subscribers, adding an extra layer of value. So, whether you're looking for a new hobby, a way to learn something new, or just want to be entertained, consider giving podcasts a try. You might discover a new favorite show that unlocks the best of human connection and storytelling.

    • ConversationsAsk more questions than you answer to make conversations deeper and more meaningful, and people love talking about themselves when they feel inspired and listened to

      Having good conversations isn't always natural and effortless, but it's a valuable skill that can significantly impact various aspects of our lives. To make conversations deeper and more meaningful, ask more questions than you answer. People love talking about themselves when they feel inspired and listened to. By asking thoughtful questions, you can trigger their interest and keep the conversation flowing smoothly. Remember, the best conversations are like a scenic walk or a long drive with twists and turns, new topics, and a good balance between talking and listening. So, next time you find yourself in a conversation that's not going as planned, try asking more questions and see how it transforms the interaction.

    • QuestionsAsking questions in a 2:1 ratio can increase likability and create deeper connections, while exploring feelings, dreams, and personal experiences can form stronger bonds.

      Asking questions is an effective way to engage in meaningful conversations and build connections with others. According to psychologists, questions act as "doorknobs" that open up new spaces in a conversation and make the other person feel accepted and valued. Attention is a crucial factor in this dynamic, as humans have a strong desire to be recognized and acknowledged by others. Asking questions demonstrates your interest and pays attention to the other person, creating positive feelings of confidence, belonging, and acceptance. Research suggests that using a two to one ratio of questions asked versus answered can increase likability and create a reciprocal connection. Furthermore, certain types of questions, such as those that explore feelings, dreams, and personal experiences, can help form deeper connections. However, it's important to avoid yes or no questions or those that put pressure on the other person. By being intentional and deliberate with our questioning, we can create meaningful and engaging conversations that build strong relationships.

    • Effective communication questionsThe 36 surprising, personal, and non-obvious questions discovered in the 90s can foster effective communication and meaningful connections through genuine interest and deeper conversation. Avoid story-topping for a productive and respectful dialogue.

      Effective communication and meaningful connections can be fostered through thoughtfully crafted questions and active listening. The 36 questions, discovered through research in the 90s, were found to be particularly effective due to their surprising, personal, and non-obvious nature. However, it's not just about asking questions, but asking better ones that show genuine interest and invite deeper conversation. Additionally, avoiding the urge to outdo each other's stories, or "story-topping," is crucial for maintaining a productive and respectful dialogue. By being mindful of our conversational habits and focusing on truly connecting with others, we can build stronger relationships and foster deeper understanding.

    • Effective ConversationsActive listening, emotional acknowledgement, asking personal questions, avoiding interruptions, empathy, respect, and staying present can lead to deeper connections in conversations.

      Effective conversations require active listening and emotional acknowledgement. Asking more questions and focusing on personal, surprising ones can help extend conversations and build deeper connections. However, it's important to avoid interrupting with bright-siding or trying to one-up the other person. Instead, let people express their emotions and respond with empathy and respect. Technology, particularly phones, can be a major distraction in conversations, so making a conscious effort to ignore them and stay present can lead to more meaningful interactions. In-person conversations, with their rich emotional depth, are more fulfilling than online ones.

    • Phone-free conversationsPutting your phone away during conversations can lead to deeper, more meaningful interactions and help us distinguish between the long-term pleasure of a good conversation and the instant gratification of our screens.

      Face-to-face conversations are essential for building strong connections due to the activation of reward systems in our brains. However, our phones can disrupt this connection and provide instant gratification, which can be addictive. Putting your phone away during conversations can lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations and help us distinguish between the long-term pleasure of a good conversation and the instant gratification of our screens. It's important to push through moments of discomfort and focus on the conversation at hand, rather than worrying about how we are coming across. This can lead to a greater sense of comfort and connection in the long term. Additionally, practicing phone-free conversations can help us learn to value and enjoy the deeper connections that come from meaningful conversations.

    • Liking gapPeople often underestimate their likability and rate themselves lower than others during conversations. Projecting confidence and focusing on the other person can help make a great first impression.

      People tend to underestimate how well they come across in social situations, according to a 2018 Cornell University study. The "liking gap" reveals that individuals often rate themselves lower than others rate them during conversations. To counteract self-doubt and anxiety, projecting confidence and focusing on the other person can help make a great first impression. Additionally, good conversations require a balance of silence, mirrored body language, and a slow, authentic approach. Remember, confidence is the best costume, and people respond to how you feel about yourself. So, take a deep breath, activate your "golden orb" of confidence, and genuinely listen to build connections.

    • Podcast storytellingPodcasts offer a wealth of knowledge and entertainment through storytelling and sharing experiences, fostering a sense of community and connection.

      Power of storytelling and sharing experiences to inspire, educate, and bring joy to others. From the Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast to A Slight Change of Plans, Afghan Star, and The Bright Side, various podcasts offer insights into different aspects of life, love, friendship, and resilience. Dr. Maya Shunker, Curly, and their fellow hosts invite listeners to explore the world through their guests' stories and learn valuable lessons. These podcasts also provide a platform for people to share their experiences, fostering a sense of community and connection. Whether it's navigating life's changes, bringing music back to Afghanistan, or inspiring daily positivity, podcasts offer a wealth of knowledge and entertainment. So, take a moment to discover new podcasts, share your favorites, and enjoy the stories that resonate with you.

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