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    209. Navigating post-graduation blues ft. Therapist Liz Kelly

    enJuly 02, 2024

    Podcast Summary

    • Post-graduation bluesThe post-graduation blues, a period of uncertainty and loss, can be understood through the lens of grief and can be challenging, but with support and self-reflection, individuals can move forward and find their niche in the next chapter of their lives.

      Transitions, such as graduation, can bring about feelings of uncertainty and loss, leading to the post-graduation blues. These blues can affect even the most ambitious and intelligent individuals, as they navigate the many options and opportunities available to them. According to therapist and author, Liz, this experience can be understood through the lens of grief, as it involves the loss of the familiar and cherished aspects of college or university life. Whether it's the people, ideas, or experiences, this period of transition can be challenging, but with support and self-reflection, individuals can move forward and find their niche in the next chapter of their lives. Listen to the Psychology of Your 20s podcast for more insights on navigating the post-graduation blues.

    • Post-graduation emotionsPost-graduation can bring grief and societal pressure, but focusing on curiosity and learning new things can lead to discovering one's path in life, despite comparison and distorted realities on social media.

      The post-graduation period can bring about feelings of grief and a rollercoaster of emotions due to the loss of familiar routines and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. Grief is not just an emotion, but a range of feelings including sadness, disappointment, regrets, frustration, and irritability. Social media can add to these feelings as it often presents a distorted view of reality, leading to comparison and self-doubt. Instead of focusing on finding a specific passion, it's encouraged to follow curiosity and learn new things. The journey to discovering one's path in life can be a long and winding one, full of trial and error, but ultimately rewarding. Remember, what you see on social media is not the whole story, and it's important to recognize and believe that.

    • Transitioning from academia to real worldLearn to tolerate discomfort and take small steps towards new opportunities, rather than seeking perfection or security, to promote personal and professional growth.

      Transitioning from an academic environment to the real world can be a daunting experience, filled with uncertainty and discomfort. This discomfort often stems from the loss of structure, security, and relationships that come with being in school. Many people crave the stability and safety of an academic setting, leading them to consider going back to school or pursuing further education. However, this can result in even more debt and delayed insecurity. Instead, it's essential to learn to tolerate discomfort and take small steps towards new opportunities. Curiosity, rather than perfection or security, should be the driving force behind decision-making. Additionally, the loss of relationships and shared experiences can be a significant source of discomfort, especially when people are no longer surrounded by a large group of peers going through similar circumstances. This can lead to friendship drift, where relationships grow apart or even end. It's important to recognize that these changes are a natural part of life and that everyone's experiences are unique. Embracing the discomfort and taking small steps towards new opportunities can lead to personal and professional growth.

    • Friendship changesFriendship changes are normal and can bring a mix of emotions. Acknowledge and accept these feelings, recognize the value of old relationships, and be open to new ones.

      Going through the experience of friendships changing or ending, especially after college, is a normal part of life. It's important to acknowledge and accept the emotions that come with it without judgment. Holding multiple emotions at the same time, such as sadness and excitement, can help in moving forward. Remember that even though relationships may not be as intense as they once were, they can still hold value. It's also essential to recognize that new relationships can form and bring different experiences. Accepting these changes and being open to new possibilities can help in coping with the shift.

    • Post-graduation emotionsPost-graduation emotions like uncertainty, anxiety, nostalgia, and grief can last varying lengths of time and impact individuals differently. Focus on self-care and coping mechanisms, but also accept that some feelings may never fully disappear. Find new experiences, set new goals, and invest in yourself.

      Navigating the post-graduation period can be a challenging time filled with uncertainty, anxiety, nostalgia, and grief. According to a therapist, these feelings can last varying lengths of time and can impact individuals differently. While it's important to focus on self-care and coping mechanisms such as exercise, hydration, social connections, and emotional acceptance, it's also essential to recognize that some feelings of longing and sadness may never fully disappear. Instead, it's crucial to find ways to invest in new experiences, set new goals, and accept the part of oneself that will always cherish the past. Additionally, podcasts like "Super Secret Bestie Club" and "Family Secrets" offer valuable insights and stories of resilience to help listeners navigate these complex emotions.

    • Self-compassionApply kindness and compassion towards yourself, focus on exciting possibilities instead of negative feelings, reflect on daily wins and set realistic goals, and be gentle during transitional periods.

      It's important to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves, just as we would be towards others. We often save wisdom and advice for others, but it's crucial to apply it to ourselves as well. Anxiety and excitement can feel similar, so instead of focusing on negative feelings, try to see if there's an exciting possibility hidden behind them. Post-graduation, many people struggle with the lack of regular feedback and validation. To help with this, try reflecting on your daily wins and setting realistic goals for yourself. This can provide a sense of accomplishment and boost self-confidence. Remember, unrealistic goals can lead to disappointment and stress, so keep them achievable. Overall, be gentle with yourself during this transitional period and focus on creating a fulfilling life both inside and outside of work.

    • Values and goalsIdentifying values can guide realistic and meaningful goals, progress is important even if not perfect, self-compassion helps maintain motivation and forward momentum

      Identifying your values can help guide you in setting realistic and meaningful goals. It's okay if you don't meet every goal right away, as progress is still being made. Life is a journey with many seasons, and it's important to be patient and learn from experiences, even if they don't feel meaningful at first. Self-compassion is crucial in treating yourself with kindness and understanding during times of frustration or disappointment. Remember, self-compassion is about treating yourself as a friend would, offering yourself grace and compassionate words. By practicing self-compassion, it becomes easier to maintain motivation and keep moving forward towards your goals.

    • Self-care and Mental HealthTreating ourselves and others with kindness is essential for mental health. Resources like books and websites offer valuable advice, and seeking help when needed is important.

      Our childhood selves are still a part of us, and treating others with kindness, including ourselves, is important for mental health. Guest Liz Kelly shared her wisdom on post-graduation blues and offered resources like her book "This Book is Cheaper Than Therapy" and her website lizkellymsw.com for more advice. Listeners can find her on Instagram at real.life.mental.wellness. The episode covered topics like self-care, self-compassion, and the importance of seeking help when needed. To learn more, listeners are encouraged to check out the resources mentioned and leave a review or share the episode with someone who might benefit.

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