Podcast Summary
From military to Hollywood, Tyler Gray's journey of adaptation: Transitioning from military to civilian life can be unconventional, but determination and adaptability can lead to success in unexpected places.
With determination and adaptability, one can transition from a military career to a successful civilian life, even in unconventional ways. Our guest, Tyler Gray, a former Delta operator, exemplifies this by producing and directing the popular TV show "Seal Team," despite being an army guy. His journey began with a comment on Instagram that led him to his first podcast interview and his first travel for a podcast. After years of working in Hollywood, mostly on movies with sporadic schedules, he took a leap of faith and quit a corporate EP gig to join "Seal Team," which was a rare pilot with a high likelihood of being picked up as a show. Tyler's story is a reminder that opportunities can come from unexpected places and that perseverance and adaptability are key to overcoming challenges and achieving success.
Overcoming unexpected challenges: Adaptability, resourcefulness, and determination are crucial for success. Seek expertise and be proactive in problem-solving.
The success of their show came from a unique combination of factors, including a dedicated team, limited resources, and the ability to adapt. When they arrived to film, they discovered they had no current military gear for their actors. Despite this setback, they were able to secure the necessary equipment through their network, demonstrating the importance of resourcefulness and determination. The production team learned that they didn't know what they didn't know, and that having the right gear was crucial for authenticity. This experience taught them to appreciate the value of expertise and the importance of being proactive in problem-solving.
Adapting to Challenges with Resourcefulness: Trust local contacts, adapt to limitations, and prioritize authenticity for successful productions.
Resourcefulness and adaptability are key to creating authentic and successful productions, even when faced with challenges and limitations. The speaker shares a story about securing a crucial piece of equipment for a TV show by trusting a local contact and utilizing his unique skills, ultimately leading to the continued involvement of that individual on the show. Additionally, the importance of maintaining authenticity within the production, even if it means bending the budget, is emphasized to ensure the audience's engagement and appreciation. Lastly, the speaker's passion for candy led to an unexpected yet delightful discovery of goby bear gummies during a podcast recording.
Childhood Trauma is Universal: Everyone experiences childhood trauma, and it can manifest in various ways, often shaping our future experiences and choices.
Everyone experiences some form of trauma during childhood, no matter how idyllic it may seem. The speaker shared his passion for playing guns as a child and how it led him to join the military. He acknowledged that everyone grieves at their own level and that comparing traumas is not productive. Despite his seemingly normal childhood, he admitted that he was hyper-aware and unaware in ways that other children weren't. The speaker's experiences demonstrate that everyone carries traumas from their childhood, even if they may not be immediately apparent.
Childhood empathy and adult focus: The speaker's childhood empathy led her to dislike messes, while her adult life is fueled by ketone supplements for focus. Babbel aids language learning, equivalent to a college semester, and overcoming social challenges through continuous learning.
The speaker had a unique perspective as a child, often thinking about adult matters and feeling empathetic towards others. This trait was evident in her aversion to seeing someone else, like her brother, having to clean up after a messy situation. Later in life, she discovered the benefits of ketone supplements, which help her stay focused and energized during her busy days. Another significant takeaway is the importance of continuous learning, as highlighted by the speaker's experience with language learning app, Babbel. The app allows users to learn a new language in just three weeks, making travel and communication easier. The speaker emphasizes the effectiveness of Babbel, citing studies that show its benefits are equivalent to a full semester at college. Lastly, the speaker shares her personal experiences with socializing and relationships, admitting to having low social awareness and struggling to initiate relationships with girls during her childhood. Despite these challenges, she emphasizes that everyone has unique experiences and perspectives, and that continuous learning and personal growth can help overcome obstacles.
Growing up in a dysfunctional family shaped the speaker's lack of self-confidence and social skills: The speaker's upbringing in a family with an alcoholic father, a brother with severe ADHD, and constant fighting contributed to his insecurity and made it difficult for him to connect with others.
The speaker's lack of self-confidence and social skills in his youth were shaped by his upbringing in a dysfunctional family. The speaker, who grew up with an alcoholic father and a brother with severe ADHD, spent most of his childhood alone and developed imaginary friends to keep him company. His parents' constant fighting further isolated him, and he felt like an outsider among his peers. These experiences contributed to his insecurity and made it difficult for him to connect with girls during his teenage years. The speaker also mentions that he had a dry sense of humor, which sometimes came across as offensive to others, and he spent hours imagining adventures and stories to escape his reality. Overall, the speaker's childhood experiences significantly impacted his self-perception and social abilities.
Childhood insecurities fueled determination to succeed: Early experiences of abandonment and lack of acceptance can drive individuals to succeed and develop skills like conflict resolution
The speaker's experiences of feeling abandoned and not fully accepted during his childhood played a significant role in shaping his determination to succeed in life. He developed a skill for interpreting and explaining complex situations, which he attributes to listening to his parents' arguments and acting as a mediator. This ability, combined with his drive to prove doubters wrong, propelled him to become an Army Ranger, an actor, a producer, a director, and a successful businessman. Childhood insecurities can have a profound impact on individuals, fueling their ambitions and motivating them to overcome challenges.
Childhood experiences shape our subconscious beliefs: Recognizing and addressing the root causes of limiting beliefs is essential for living a fulfilling life
Knowing something intellectually and accepting it deeply within oneself are two different things. Childhood experiences can shape our subconscious beliefs about ourselves, leading us to behave in ways that contradict our conscious knowledge. For instance, one may know they are worthy, but subconsciously, they may still feel worthless and sabotage relationships or opportunities as a result. This disconnect can be challenging to overcome, but recognizing it is the first step towards acceptance and healing. The speaker shared how they discovered their lack of self-worth in childhood and how it had driven them to seek external validation through money, fame, and relationships. However, they realized that true self-worth comes from within and cannot be bought or acquired externally. The journey towards acceptance is ongoing, and it's essential to acknowledge and address the root causes of limiting beliefs to live a fulfilling life.
Rebuilding Self-Worth for Veterans: Veterans face unique challenges in rebuilding self-worth due to childhood experiences, ongoing process, impact of actions on others, dependency, appreciation, and lack of support from institutions like the VA.
Self-worth is a significant issue for many people, including those who have served in the military. It can be traced back to childhood experiences and can be reprogrammed through conscious efforts. However, it's important to recognize that rebuilding self-worth is an ongoing process, not a one-time fix. Additionally, understanding the impact of one's actions on others and recognizing the dependency and appreciation from those dependents can be a powerful catalyst for recognizing one's own worth. Unfortunately, the lack of appreciation and support from institutions like the VA can make the journey to rebuilding self-worth even more challenging for veterans.
Veterans' struggle with self-worth and disconnection: Veterans may feel uncomfortable with thanks for service, face financial challenges, and benefit from Hoist IV hydration's discount for military and first responders.
Veterans may feel disconnected from the impact of their service on others and may struggle with feelings of self-worth due to the way they were injured. The speaker shares his personal experience of feeling uncomfortable when thanked for his service, as he saw his actions as self-serving rather than for the benefit of the country. The military as a whole faces numerous challenges, including geopolitical tensions and economic instability, and individuals should consider protecting their financial future with precious metals. The speaker also highlights Hoist IV level hydration, a product used by the military, which offers less sugar and more electrolytes than other sports drinks and provides a discount to military and first responders. Lastly, the speaker shares a personal story of witnessing a suicide bomber's death in Iraq and feeling no emotional attachment or remorse.
The speaker's experiences shaped him into a complex individual: His childhood neglect and lack of guidance fueled a strong desire to protect others, leading him to join the military and develop a ruthless attitude towards child abusers.
The speaker's experiences shaped him into a complex individual with a strong desire to protect others, potentially stemming from his own sense of neglect and lack of guidance during his childhood. He joined the military with the intention of becoming a hero, and his experiences in the military further solidified his determination to protect those who cannot protect themselves. Despite his sensitive nature, he also developed a ruthless attitude towards those who harm children, indicating a unique blend of compassion and severity. The speaker's reflections on his past reveal the intricacies of his motivations and the impact of his upbringing on his actions.
Personal growth through deep introspection and commitment: Accept responsibility for experiences, delve deep into past, and understand imagination's power for personal growth
Personal growth and self-discovery require deep introspection and commitment. The speaker shares his experience of going to an inpatient therapy place for 60 days to work on himself, emphasizing the importance of going beyond weekly therapy sessions and delving deep into the past. He also highlights the significance of accepting responsibility for every experience in life, whether positive or negative, and the empowerment that comes with it. The speaker also mentions the impact of his imagination and the importance of understanding its uniqueness. Overall, the conversation underscores the importance of personal growth, self-discovery, and taking responsibility for one's experiences.
The Power of Self-Reflection: Recognize negative patterns, reflect on past experiences, and learn from them to prevent future suffering instead of dwelling on being a victim.
It's essential to take responsibility for our own experiences and learn from them, rather than dwelling on being a victim. Both the speaker and the interlocutor in this conversation acknowledge their tendency to initially react negatively when faced with unfavorable situations. However, they emphasize the importance of introspection and self-awareness in order to understand how they ended up in those positions and prevent similar occurrences in the future. The speaker shares an insightful revelation about how past experiences of being cheated on by girlfriends had a profound impact on him, reinforcing negative beliefs from his childhood. This realization allowed him to gain a new perspective and move past the pain and trauma. Ultimately, this conversation underscores the power of self-reflection and the importance of addressing the root causes of our suffering, rather than blaming external factors.
Past experiences impact current relationships: Unresolved past pain can lead to self-sabotage and fear in new relationships, but recognizing and addressing these patterns can lead to growth and healthy commitments.
Our past experiences and feelings can significantly impact our current relationships. The speaker shares how he was hurt by past girlfriends who cheated on him, and how he unconsciously sought validation and external beauty in new relationships, leading to a pattern of self-sabotage and fear of being replaced. His current girlfriend pointed out his inconsistency between his words and actions, and he realized that his subconscious belief that he didn't deserve true love was causing him to self-sabotage. He acknowledges that his past pain was not caused by his girlfriends, but by his own inability to fully commit and value the relationships. By recognizing and addressing this pattern, the speaker hopes to grow and build a healthy, committed relationship.
Struggling with Authenticity on Camera: A Military Perspective: People from military backgrounds may find it hard to be open and authentic on camera due to past experiences and self-preservation. Acknowledging personal truths and being vulnerable can bring relief and benefit the audience.
People, especially those from military backgrounds, may struggle to be open and authentic on camera due to past experiences and a lot of self-preservation. This reluctance can stem from a lack of self-worth and fear of emotional pain. The speaker, Tyler, shared his personal experience of realizing he's the villain in his own story and the relief that comes with acknowledging that truth. And in the military context, the pressure to maintain a tough image can be exhausting. Tyler also shared his experience of being caught off guard during an interview, leading him to be more guarded in future interviews. Overall, being authentic and vulnerable on camera can be challenging but ultimately beneficial for both the individual and the audience.
Stay true to yourself for happiness: Ignore societal pressure, be unique, do what makes you happy, seek advice wisely, and monetize your story or skills with joy.
Being true to yourself is the key to happiness and fulfillment, despite societal pressure to conform. The speaker emphasizes that everyone is unique and cannot be given a formula for happiness. Instead, trying to be someone other than yourself will lead to misery. It's essential to ignore the pressure to please others and do what makes you happy, even if it goes against societal norms. The speaker also mentions that seeking advice from those who aren't where we want to be can keep us from reaching our goals, as we may end up becoming like them. Ultimately, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself and monetize your story or skills in a way that brings you joy, regardless of others' opinions.
Embrace Your Authentic Self: Trust and accept yourself, rather than trying to build or change who you are. Societal pressures and experiences can help us learn more about ourselves, but our core identity is present from an early age.
Self-acceptance and understanding one's fundamental personality are key to feeling comfortable and authentic in life. The speaker believes that who we are as children is the best knowledge of ourselves, but societal pressures and indoctrination can steer us away from that. He argues that experiences in life can help us discover more about ourselves, but the core of who we are is already present from an early age. The speaker shares his own experience of growing up with parents who didn't push an agenda on him, allowing him to develop into his authentic self. He emphasizes the importance of self-actualization and encourages embracing one's flaws as a means to growth. The speaker also mentions the influence of books, like "The Four Agreements," in shaping his perspective on self-discovery. Overall, the takeaway is to trust and accept oneself, rather than trying to build or change who we are.
Formative experiences shaping identities: Creating a false identity during teenage years brought short-term success but led to an identity crisis when authentic self was challenged
Our experiences, especially during formative years, can shape our identities in significant ways. The speaker shares how he created a fictional character during his teenage years as a means to cope with feelings of rejection and frustration. He adopted this character's persona, which included hyperconfident behavior, and it brought him success with girls and in the military. However, when he was injured and lost his physical abilities, the foundation of his false identity began to crumble, leading to an identity crisis. This experience highlights the importance of understanding the authentic self and the potential risks of relying too heavily on external validation.
Pursuing unexpected opportunities: Sometimes our plans don't work out, but staying persistent and adaptable can lead to unexpected rewards.
Sometimes our dreams don't work out the way we plan, and it may take longer than expected to achieve them. The speaker, who had aspirations of acting and joining the military as a child, moved to Hollywood to pursue acting but found little success. Instead, he joined the military, specifically the Rangers, after realizing it would take a long time to make it in the film industry. Despite initial challenges, such as not being able to join the unit he wanted due to qualifications, he found enjoyment and success in his military experience. It's important to remain persistent and adapt when our plans don't go as intended, and sometimes discovering new opportunities can lead to unexpected rewards.
Military training: Setting soldiers up for long-term success: Military training instills discipline, perseverance, and camaraderie. Committed soldiers can turn initial disappointments into valuable opportunities, leading to fulfilling roles and experiences.
Military training, while challenging and often frustrating in the moment, sets soldiers up for success in the long run. The speaker shares his experience of starting as an assistant machine gunner, carrying a heavy load, but learning valuable lessons in discipline and perseverance. He later attended Ranger School and became a tab (trained ranger), but still found himself in a support role. Despite the initial disappointment, he eventually became a sniper, having deployed to Afghanistan with Ranger Battalion. The speaker also mentions the importance of camaraderie and leadership in getting through tough times. Somalia served as a reference point for training, and the military's focus on the last war shaped their experiences. Overall, the speaker's journey demonstrates the importance of staying committed and making the most of opportunities, even when they don't seem ideal at first.
A young soldier's interaction with Blackwater during the early days of the war in Afghanistan inspires him to learn and improve: During the early stages of the war in Afghanistan, a soldier was inspired by the professionalism and competence of Blackwater, a private security firm, and sought to learn from them to continue improving in his military career.
During the early days of the war in Afghanistan, the speaker was a part of a sniper team that provided security for forward operating bases (FOBs), acting as a forward warning system against potential attacks. They were also tasked with reconnaissance in the surrounding areas. During this time, the speaker had interaction with Blackwater, a private security firm led by Eric Prince, who were also present in the region. The speaker found the professionalism and competence of the Blackwater team to be inspiring and sought to learn from them, feeling that he had surpassed his learning curve and wanted to be back in a role where he could learn from those more skilled than him. The speaker also mentioned that the environment and experiences were vastly different from what it would become, with small teams conducting long patrols without significant support. This period was marked by the opening of FOBs and the speaker's team acting as a forward warning system for potential attacks. The speaker's interaction with Blackwater and their team was a significant influence on his desire to continue learning and improving in his military career.
Personal growth and overcoming challenges: Resilience, determination, and a growth mindset are essential for personal and professional growth. Pushing through difficulties and continuously striving for betterment can lead to success.
Personal growth and improvement are key to overcoming challenges, even in the face of adversity. The speaker shared his experience of being in combat for the first time during his deployment to Afghanistan, and how it changed his perspective on war. He also discussed his journey to join the Delta Force, which involved going through selection multiple times and being confused by the process. Despite the uncertainty, he remained determined and eventually succeeded. This experience taught him that pushing through difficulties and continuously striving for betterment are essential for personal and professional growth. The specifics of the selection process may not have made complete sense to him at the time, but he came to understand its relevance once he began the job. Overall, the speaker's story highlights the importance of resilience, determination, and a growth mindset in overcoming obstacles and achieving goals.
Military experiences build essential skills: Military training develops focus, work ethic, and self-confidence, crucial for jobs like counterterrorism and hostage rescue
Experiences in the military, such as rucking and navigating, may seem unrelated to specific jobs like counterterrorism or hostage rescue, but they actually play a crucial role in developing essential skills. These experiences require individuals to focus on the task at hand, disregard distractions, and maintain a strong work ethic, even when faced with repetition or seemingly insignificant tasks. Additionally, the speaker's personal experiences demonstrate the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self-confidence and determination, even when faced with doubts or setbacks. Ultimately, these skills and mindsets contribute to the overall success and effectiveness of military personnel in their roles.
Military training: A continuous process of learning and improvement: Even when you think you've mastered a skill, there's always room for growth in military training. Be open to learning from others and being uncomfortable to improve.
Military training is a challenging and continuous process of learning and improvement. The speaker shared his experience of going through rigorous training and then deploying to Fallujah in 2004. He mentioned that he had a great time learning new skills and being surrounded by experienced veterans, but the training was rough and he felt like the least competent person in the room. After deployment, he realized that even though he thought he was good, he still had a lot to learn. The speaker also mentioned that during his deployment to Fallujah, they were there to assist the Marines in developing targets and providing support. The experience was intense and operationally, they ended up assisting the Marines in several situations where they were taking fire. Overall, the speaker emphasized the importance of being uncomfortable and constantly striving to learn and improve, even when you think you've reached a certain level of competence.
Intense combat deployment with Marines: Despite dangerous conditions, effective but under-resourced Marines faced high casualty rates due to lack of proper planning and limited resources, hindering target development.
The speaker witnessed intense combat during a deployment, where they worked closely with the Marines. The environment was dangerous and chaotic, with constant enemy fire and limited resources. The Marines were described as effective but under-resourced, and the speaker was frustrated with the lack of proper planning and the resulting high casualty rate. Despite the challenges, the speaker and their team attempted to develop targets for themselves, but were unable to do so due to the inability to fly, drive, or insert helicopters into the area. Overall, the deployment was marked by intense fighting and a deep sense of frustration with the situation.
Military experiences shaped perspective on perseverance and efficiency: Through military experiences, the speaker learned the importance of reassessing situations and finding smarter ways to accomplish tasks, rather than blindly following orders.
The speaker's experience in the military, specifically during the Iraq War, shaped his perspective on perseverance and efficiency. At a young age, he was one of only two enlisted operators selected for a specialized training program, despite the ongoing wars. He was frustrated by the leadership and planning, which led him to question the orders and ultimately decide to leave the meeting. The speaker learned the importance of reassessing situations and finding smarter ways to accomplish tasks, rather than blindly following the "never quit" mentality. He also recognized the transient nature of the military and his own uncertainty about his future direction after leaving the service. Overall, his experiences taught him the value of adaptability and efficiency in overcoming challenges.
Adding a P.S. to your job application cover letter can increase its chances of being read: Up to 75% of recruiters or hiring managers might read the P.S. before the rest of the letter, make it valuable or compelling to increase your chances
Adding a P.S. to your job application cover letter can significantly increase its chances of being read. According to Skip Freeman, author of "Headhunters Hiring Secrets," up to 75% of recruiters or hiring managers might read the P.S. before the rest of the letter. So, make sure to include valuable information or a compelling reason to read the rest of your application in the P.S. This simple addition could give you a competitive edge in the job market. If you're in the process of applying for jobs, keep this tip in mind and give it a try. You can learn more about this and other helpful tips by listening to the Something You Should Know podcast or searching for it on YouTube.
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