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    • Thinking about and planning for our future selves is crucialBe intentional about personal growth and development to become the person we want to be in the future, focusing on prospection can lead to informed decisions and actions towards a better tomorrow.

      Our mind is a prediction machine, and the concept of prospection in psychology encourages us to think about and plan for our future selves. The speakers on this episode, Jen and Benjamin Hardy, emphasize the importance of being intentional about our personal growth and development to become the person we want to be in the future. Jen shares her experience of turning her home into an Airbnb to bring in extra income and share her world with others, while also making guests feel welcomed. Benjamin discusses the idea that we will be significantly different people in 10 years, and it's crucial to guide our development towards our desired future self. By focusing on prospection, we can make informed decisions and take actions today that will lead us to a better tomorrow. Whether it's investing in our physical health, personal relationships, or professional development, the power to shape our future selves lies within us.

    • The Power of Prospection: Shaping Our FutureUnderstanding our commitments, even in difficult situations, can help us become more intentional and honest with ourselves, shaping our future.

      As human beings, we spend a significant amount of time thinking about and planning for our future, which is known as prospection. This sets us apart from other species. Our future commitments shape our identity and influence our behavior. However, many people feel they have little control over their lives and are just dealing with immediate issues. This feeling is not contradictory to the prospection idea, as even in those situations, people are still committed to something, even if they're not aware of it. The further we can contemplate and plan for the future, the more power we have to shape it to our desires. Despite the challenges, it's essential to remember that we're all committed to something, and understanding that commitment can help us become more honest with ourselves and make more intentional choices.

    • Understanding the Role of Goals in Our BehaviorRecognizing the impact of goals on our actions can help us make more intentional choices and connect with our future selves for effective long-term planning

      Our behaviors, including using social media as a distraction, are driven by goals, whether they are avoidance-driven or approach-driven. Most psychologists argue that every behavior serves an end, and these goals can shape our actions and even define courage. However, it can be challenging for humans to think and plan for the future, especially when considering long-term goals like retirement. Historically, humans have been driven by urgent goals, and our brains may not be fully evolved to consider the far-reaching consequences of our actions. As a result, many people struggle to connect with their future selves and may feel a lack of control over their lives. Researchers like Dr. Hal Hershfield are exploring ways to help individuals build a stronger connection to their future selves and make more effective long-term plans. Ultimately, by understanding the role of goals in our behavior and learning to better connect with our future selves, we can make more intentional choices and live more fulfilling lives.

    • Imagining our future self can help us make wiser decisions in the presentConsidering the future consequences of our actions can lead to better decision making and avoiding past mistakes

      Connecting with our long-term future self can help us make wiser decisions in the present, but the pull of the present and our evolutionary inability to plan for the long term often make it difficult. According to Hal Hershfield, our present self tends to win out due to immediate rewards, while our future self is left disconnected and unable to influence our actions. Viktor Frankl's perspective aligns with this idea, as he observed that those who lost hope in their future in the concentration camps lost all sense of meaning in the present and ultimately died faster. Frankl's invitation to imagine living today incorrectly and then reliving it with the knowledge of the negative consequences can help us be more intentional in the present. By considering the future repercussions of our actions, we can make better decisions and avoid repeating past mistakes. This idea is similar to the notion that our brain is a prediction machine, allowing us to reverse engineer past experiences and learn from them to inform our current actions.

    • Considering the perspective of our future selvesReflecting on future consequences can lead to more intentional and purposeful actions, noticing opportunities, and reframing pain as necessary steps towards goals

      Considering the perspective of our future selves can significantly improve our decision-making and living in the present. By reflecting on the potential consequences of our actions and how our future selves might view our current situations, we can become more intentional and purposeful. This approach can help us notice opportunities we may have overlooked and appreciate the significance of seemingly insignificant moments. Furthermore, it can enable us to reframe pain and short-term sacrifices as necessary steps towards achieving our goals rather than obstacles. This mindset shift, as discussed, aligns with the research of Dr. Hirschfeld and Frankel, emphasizing the importance of being connected to our future selves for better present-day decision-making.

    • Building a strong connection with future selfViewing future self as friend leads to better choices, prioritizing well-being, greater motivation, and enjoyment towards long-term goals, and reducing appeal of short-term dopamine hits.

      Developing a strong connection with your future self can help you make better choices and find more enjoyment in long-term goals. According to Dr. Hirschfeld, when we view our future selves as friends, we're more likely to make sacrifices for them and prioritize their well-being. This connection can also lead to greater motivation and enjoyment when working towards long-term goals, as the progress and eventual rewards become more meaningful. Furthermore, research suggests that dopamine plays a role in both immediate rewards and the drive towards future rewards. By focusing on the future self and the long-term benefits, we can reduce the appeal of short-term dopamine hits that may be detrimental to our future selves. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of considering the future consequences of our actions and building a strong relationship with our future selves.

    • Connecting with your future self for better decisionsBeing aware of and connected to your future self can lead to healthier choices and improved financial habits. Our environment, both psychological and physical, can also influence our actions and preferences.

      Being aware of and connecting with your future self can help you make more intentional decisions and avoid regrets. This concept was discussed in relation to research by Hirschfeld and the idea that people who are more connected to their future selves tend to make healthier decisions and lead better financial lives. Additionally, the environment we create for ourselves, whether it's psychological or physical, can influence our actions and behaviors. The mere exposure effect, which is the idea that we often like things simply because we've been exposed to them, was also mentioned as a factor in shaping our preferences. Overall, the importance of being mindful of our present actions and their potential impact on our future selves was a recurring theme in the discussion.

    • Understanding the impact of environment on usBecoming more mindful of our surroundings and shaping them to align with our desired future selves by being thoughtful about the information we consume, the people we surround ourselves with, and the expectations others have of us.

      Our environment significantly influences our goals, thoughts, and actions, often in ways we're not even aware of. This is why it's crucial to become more mindful of our surroundings and the people in them. By being more conscious of our environment, we can proactively shape it to align with our desired future selves. This includes being thoughtful about the information we consume, the people we surround ourselves with, and the expectations others have of us, as demonstrated by the Pygmalion effect. Remember, if we don't control our environment, it will control us. So let's make sure our environments are shaping us in the direction we want to go.

    • The Power of Expectations and PerceptionsUnderstanding the impact of our expectations and perceptions on others and ourselves can lead to better communication and positive development. Our future selves are unique individuals, so treating them as such can lead to growth.

      Our expectations and perceptions of others, and even ourselves, can significantly influence how we communicate with them and shape their futures. This was highlighted in a 70s study, which while not unethical by today's standards, demonstrated the power of self-fulfilling prophecies. From a personal standpoint, this means that the way we talk to and view our children, whether they are our biological or adopted, can impact their development. Furthermore, our future selves are fundamentally different from who we are today, as noted by research from psychologist Daniel Gilbert. Recognizing this can help us make better decisions and cultivate a growth mindset. It's essential to remember that our future selves will be different people, with distinct interests, goals, and values, and approaching them with this mindset can lead to positive outcomes.

    • Recognizing and accepting change in our priorities and valuesUnderstand that our priorities and values evolve over time, and embrace personal growth and development, acknowledging that our past, present, and future selves are connected but distinct.

      It's essential to recognize and accept that our priorities and values will change over time. Our past selves may seem clearer to us than our future selves, but this "end of history illusion" can be misleading. Psychologists refer to this as the end of history illusion, and it's essential to view our future selves as different people to foster empathy and understanding. By acknowledging that we're not fixed or stuck in our current state, we can embrace the excitement of personal growth and development. Moreover, our past selves might have thought certain abilities or achievements were impossible, but with effort and time, we can acquire new skills and perspectives. Conversely, we might underestimate potential risks or challenges based on our inability to clearly imagine them. To avoid this bias, it's crucial to recognize that our past, present, and future selves are all connected but distinct. By embracing change and growth, we can cultivate a more adaptable and imaginative mindset.

    • Our perception of future self shapes present behaviorOur view of future self influences present actions, and focusing on growth can lead to positive change

      Our perception of our future self significantly influences our present behavior. If we view our future self with hope and possibility, we are more likely to invest in our growth and development. Conversely, if we see our future self as hopeless or non-existent, we may destructively borrow from that future self in the present. This idea was discussed in the context of imagining potential threats, such as climate change or personal habits, and the importance of using imagination to connect with and shape our future selves. As Brene Brown said, we can either be right or get it right, and focusing on the latter allows us to embrace learning and growth. The speaker shared personal experiences of transforming fixed mindsets into a growth mindset, particularly in areas of parenting and financial success. Ultimately, our view of our future self shapes our present actions, and caring for that future self can lead to positive change.

    • Visualize your future self and set clear goals for deliberate practiceTo achieve expert performance, visualize your future self, set clear goals, and use them to guide deliberate practice. This concept applies to starting a business or pursuing a new hobby.

      Visualizing your future self and setting clear goals are essential for engaging in deliberate practice and achieving expert performance. This concept, known as deliberate practice, was discussed in the context of starting an Airbnb and becoming a podcaster. The idea is not about manifesting or hokey practices, but rather having a clear view of where you want to go and using that vision to guide your actions and practice. For instance, a tennis player might not have considered playing in college until they had a clear goal and measuring system, like the UTR system, to guide their practice and progress. Similarly, starting an Airbnb or podcast requires envisioning success and taking deliberate steps to make it a reality. So, consider what you want to achieve in your current situation, set clear goals, and use them to guide your practice and actions.

    • Visualize your future goals for motivation and growthWriting a letter to your future self can help clarify goals and serve as a reminder of personal growth

      Visualizing and getting clear about your future goals is crucial for achieving them. Thinking about your future self in vivid detail can help you determine the steps you need to take in the present. This concept is the opposite of just having habits and hoping for results. An effective exercise to practice this is writing a letter to your future self, which can serve as a reminder of your goals and how much you've grown over time. This exercise can also be a fun way to reflect on how different your life may be in the future. By beginning with the end in mind and acting from your future self, you can be more intentional and thoughtful in your actions towards your goals.

    • Thinking about and committing to your future selfEmbrace failures, set high standards, and pursue authentic goals for personal growth and success

      Deliberately thinking about and committing to your future self can lead to personal growth and success. This concept, as discussed, involves setting high standards for yourself and embracing the failures that come with attempting to reach those standards as your future self. By practicing deliberate failure, you push yourself beyond your current skill level and foster learning. Additionally, staying true to your future self means avoiding the easy, lesser paths in life and instead pursuing your authentic goals, even if the journey is challenging. This mindset can help you connect with your future self and ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

    • Striving for worthwhile goals, even with challengesIdentify and pursue what you truly want, despite risks or external pressures, to live an authentic life.

      Living a fulfilling life isn't just about achieving external success or following a clear and stable path. Instead, it's about being true to what you most believe in and want. Viktor Frankl believed that people need to strive and struggle for worthwhile goals, even if they involve challenges and difficulties. A shadow career is not just settling for a lesser goal or going in a different direction due to external pressures. It's doing something that's close to what you really want but involves less risk or is safer. Over time, even a small deviation can lead to a significant distance from your authentic self. It takes courage to identify and pursue what you truly want, even if it goes against the grain or involves risks. The fear of failure, rejection, or people's opinions often leads people to invest in paths that take them away from their ultimate goals. It's essential to ask yourself what you're continuing to invest in that is taking you away from where you want to go and have the courage to be honest with the answer.

    • Invest in what truly matters to youFocus on a few key areas for massive returns, eliminate distractions, use attention wisely, and make consistent small changes for transformation

      Investing in areas that align with your true self and future goals, rather than distractions, can lead to greater meaning and fulfillment in life. This involves identifying and focusing on a few key areas where you want to see massive returns, and eliminating goals that conflict with them. Our attention is a finite resource, and it's essential to use it wisely by investing it in what truly matters to us. The process of figuring out what areas to invest in and eliminating distractions can be challenging, but it's crucial for making progress towards our goals. Constraint theory suggests that in any situation, there's a bottleneck that must be addressed to advance towards a goal, and our attention is the number one human constraint. By being honest with ourselves about what we truly want, and focusing our attention on that, we can make significant progress towards becoming the best version of ourselves. It's not about making one big change, but rather, making many small, consistent changes over time. Remember, it's the accumulation of these small changes that will ultimately lead to transformation.

    • Reframe your mindset for personal growthIdentify threats to future self, start small, focus on incremental steps, stack habits for greater outcomes.

      To break bad habits and build good ones, it's essential to reframe your mindset and consider who you want to be in the future. This involves identifying potential threats to your future self and starting small to build habits and skills now. Many people are reluctant to start due to feelings of inadequacy or fear of failure, but the key is to focus on small, incremental steps. By doing so, you can stack and compound these habits for greater outcomes. To learn more about this and other strategies for personal growth, check out the Jordan Harbinger Show episodes with James Clear and BJ Fogg. Remember, the power to shape your environment and create positive change lies within you.

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    1014: Jamie Metzl | AI Solutions for Hunger, Health, & Habitat Part One

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    1013: Big Dairy | Skeptical Sunday

    1013: Big Dairy | Skeptical Sunday

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    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. If you have something you'd like us to tackle here on Skeptical Sunday, drop Jordan a line at jordan@jordanharbinger.com and let him know!
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    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1013

    This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors: jordanharbinger.com/deals 

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    1012: Pal's Husband Eyes Your OnlyFans on the Sly | Feedback Friday

    1012: Pal's Husband Eyes Your OnlyFans on the Sly | Feedback Friday

    You found out your friend's husband is subscribing to your OnlyFans. Should you tell her and potentially destroy their marriage? Welcome to Feedback Friday!

    And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!

    On This Week's Feedback Friday:

    • If you're ever in San Diego, you have to check out the Zoo!
    • You discovered that your friend's new husband has been secretly subscribing to your OnlyFans account, sending you money and sharing his wildest fantasies. Your friend doesn't know, and you're torn about whether to tell her. What's the right thing to do in this delicate situation?
    • Your relationship with your mother has been toxic since childhood, marked by her alcoholism and unresolved trauma. Now, you're considering distancing yourself from her, but you don't want to jeopardize your close relationship with your father. How can you maintain a strong bond with your dad while setting boundaries with your mom?
    • You had an amazing trip to Italy and want to learn the language by next year. What's the most effective way to learn Italian quickly? How can you immerse yourself in the language and culture to achieve your goal?
    • You've worked in adoption and foster care for 16 years and have exciting ideas for entrepreneurial ventures to help others, but you're struggling to narrow down your options. How can you determine which idea to pursue and where to start?
    • You recently adopted a baby girl and are considering starting a business creating adoption profile books, inspired by your own successful experience. However, you're hesitant to leave your high-paying job. Should you take the risk and pursue this entrepreneurial path?
    • Your brother, once your best friend, has become extremely isolated and obsessed with COVID-19 precautions, cutting off family and friends. He's even refusing to visit for important events. How can you help him and salvage your relationship?
    • Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!
    • Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.
    • Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.

    Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1012

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    • Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi.

    Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course!

    Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider leaving your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!