Podcast Summary
Be cautious on dating apps, especially women: Women should be wary of insincere men on dating apps, avoid photos with babies and focus on genuine conversation
Dating apps have various purposes and it's important for users to practice discernment when using them. Women, in particular, should be aware that the likelihood of finding someone looking for a serious relationship may be low, and therefore, need to be cautious and selective. One thing to avoid on dating apps is men holding babies in their photos, as it can come across as insincere and manipulative. Instead, focus on genuine conversation and getting to know potential matches based on their profiles and interests. Overall, approach dating app use with a clear intention and a discerning mindset.
First impressions on dating apps matter but can be misleading: Judge potential matches based on more than just their profile photos and bio, engage in meaningful conversations to get to know them better
The way a person presents themselves on dating apps through their photos and bio matters a lot in attracting potential matches. However, relying solely on first impressions can be misleading. A man with multiple gym selfies and close-up face photos might come across as uninteresting and one-dimensional, while a man with diverse photos showcasing his lifestyle and hobbies can appear more intriguing. The backgrounds of the photos and the quality of the selfies also play a role in shaping the perception of the person. Ultimately, it's essential to remember that dating app profiles offer a limited snapshot of someone's personality and that appearances can be deceiving. Instead of making snap judgments, it's recommended to engage in meaningful conversations and get to know someone beyond their profile.
Wait until after the first date to exchange contact info: Delaying contact info exchange adds mystery and tests respect for boundaries, saving time and energy
Giving out your social media or phone number too early on dating apps can lead to wasted time and energy, as some men may use this information to "stalk" you without making a genuine effort to meet in person. Instead, it's recommended to wait until after the first date to exchange contact information. This not only adds an element of mystery but also tests the other person's respect for boundaries. Additionally, be cautious about accepting dates to places that don't show a genuine effort, such as coffee shops. Your time is valuable, and potential partners should make an effort to impress you.
The location of a date reveals insights about a person: Be thoughtful with date locations, avoid disrespectful comments, and be cautious with sharing personal info online.
The choice of location for a date reveals important information about a person. A coffee shop may seem like a low-effort option, but a thoughtful and impressive date could be at a nice, lesser-known restaurant or rooftop venue. However, a date can be ruined if the person makes inappropriate or disrespectful comments, such as asking about sexual preferences without knowing the other person well. Additionally, giving out personal contact information like phone numbers on dating apps can be risky, as people may use them for unwanted advances or even stalking. It's important to be cautious and assertive in online interactions and only share personal information with trusted individuals.
Staying private while dating online: Use a secondary phone with messaging apps to protect personal info and control communication with potential partners.
Maintaining privacy and control in digital interactions, especially when dating online, is essential. The speaker suggests using a secondary phone with messaging apps like WhatsApp to give out your number to avoid unwanted attention or location tracking. By doing so, you can keep your personal information private and limit the communication to a level that feels comfortable. This strategy also allows you to gauge the intentions of potential partners and filter out those who may not respect your boundaries. Overall, the speaker emphasizes the importance of being cautious and mindful when sharing personal information online.
Navigating Authentic Connections in Online Dating: Not all online dating interactions are worth pursuing. Prioritize authentic connections, respect identities, and filter out disrespectful or insincere matches.
Not all interactions on dating apps are worth pursuing. The speaker shared experiences of encountering men who lied about their identities or tried to debate her on her standards. She emphasized that she only wants to engage with individuals who add value to her life. Another issue she addressed was the disregard for her asexual identity by some men, who seemed more interested in sexualizing her than respecting her sexual orientation. The speaker also mentioned her experience with a particular dating app, clarifying that she is not affiliated with it but has spent significant time there due to the likelihood of finding people she resonates with. She now plans to ask potential matches to buy her gifts as a way to filter out those who are not serious or respectful. Overall, the speaker's message is about prioritizing authentic connections and respecting each other's identities in the online dating world.
Setting Boundaries and Valuing Oneself: Communicate your wishes and expectations clearly, use a wish list as a tool for filtering out unsuitable partners, and value yourself by setting boundaries and asking for what you want.
The speaker values money and finds joy in receiving it as a gift. She has a wish list with various price points for potential givers, and she uses it as a way to gauge a person's seriousness and generosity. The speaker also believes that women should not feel obligated to prioritize men's comfort over their own needs or desires. She encourages women to communicate their wishes and expectations clearly, and to use the wish list as a tool for filtering out unsuitable partners. The speaker's experience with men asking for access to her body, but reluctant to spend money on her, led her to believe that some men are uncomfortable with women asking for what they want. She warns women using dating apps to be cautious and assertive, and to not waste time on unsuitable partners. Overall, the speaker's message is about the importance of setting boundaries, communicating clearly, and valuing oneself.
Men prioritizing comfort can lead to women's disappointment: Women should communicate their needs and demand respect and effort in relationships, rather than settling for mundane activities or unequal dynamics.
Prioritizing men's comfort in dating can lead to discomfort and disappointment for women. The speaker expresses frustration with men suggesting mundane activities like walks as dates, feeling that it undervalues their worth and sets a precedent for unequal dynamics. She encourages women to ask for what they want and need in relationships, rather than playing down their needs or pretending to be low-maintenance. The speaker also criticizes the notion of men on dating apps claiming they want marriage, suggesting that they may not truly be committed or genuine. Ultimately, she advocates for women to communicate clearly and demand respect and effort in their relationships.
Expressing intentions in dating: Being open and vague about looking for a relationship can be more effective than explicitly stating it. Instead, express what we're looking for in a partner and maintain independence and self-sufficiency.
When it comes to dating and expressing what we're looking for, being open and vague can be more effective than explicitly stating that we're "looking for a relationship." According to the speaker, using the phrase "looking for" can make us appear desperate and give men the power to control the relationship dynamic. Instead, expressing that we're open to meeting certain types of people and what we're looking for in a partner can lead to more authentic connections. The speaker also emphasizes the importance of being clear about our needs and desires, while still maintaining a sense of independence and self-sufficiency. Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance between expressing our intentions and maintaining a sense of mystery and openness.
Showcasing Authenticity and Variety in Dating Profiles: Use a range of clear, high-quality photos and write a short, essential bio to present an authentic and engaging image in dating profiles. Avoid using filters to prevent a potentially insecure vibe.
Authenticity and variety are key elements in creating an effective dating profile. According to the discussion, using filters on photos can give off an insecure vibe and potentially lead to lower offers from potential matches. Instead, it's recommended to upload a range of clear, high-quality photos that showcase different aspects of your personality and lifestyle. These could include smiling selfies, pictures from vacations or social outings, and even gym or shopping photos. The bio should also be kept short and essential, focusing on communicating your openness to new experiences and interests. Overall, the goal is to present an authentic and engaging image that accurately represents who you are and what you're looking for in a potential partner.
Keep things positive, flirty, and open-ended in dating profiles and conversations: Focus on initiating positive conversations, looking for commitment, and investing time and resources to show seriousness and respect in dating.
When creating a dating profile, it's important to keep things positive, flirty, and open-ended, rather than negative or closed off. When interacting with matches, focus on how they initiate conversations and look for investment and commitment, rather than just physical attraction. It's also important to remember that just because someone is physically attractive, it doesn't necessarily mean they're a good person. Additionally, when it comes to dating, investing time, effort, and resources into the relationship is crucial to showing seriousness and respect. These investments can start from the very first date and should be more than just a casual coffee or walk.
Discerning Dating Apps: Trust Yourself: Confidence and self-trust are crucial for successful dating app use. Look out for red flags like excessive selfies or grandiose lifestyles, and don't feel pressured to find 'the one'.
Having discernment on dating apps requires confidence and trust in oneself. The speaker emphasizes that if someone is not willing to make decisions or put in effort, dating apps may not be the best option. She also shares that there are signs to look out for when identifying potentially dangerous individuals, such as excessive selfies or grandiose lifestyles. The speaker encourages trusting one's observations and not feeling a sense of scarcity or urgency to find "the one." She also stresses that men can be dangerous regardless of dating apps and the importance of staying vigilant. Overall, the speaker encourages authenticity and self-trust in the dating app experience.
