Podcast Summary
Applying mindfulness to the workplace for personal growth: Matthew Hepburn encourages listeners to change their relationship to thoughts at work to reduce overwhelm, navigate praise and blame, handle relationships, and bring mindfulness practice to the workplace through the 10% Happier app's free Work Life Challenge.
Work can be a challenging place to practice self-improvement, but it can also be an amazing crucible for personal growth. Meditation teacher Matthew Hepburn, who has experience working in various professional settings, encourages listeners to not side with themselves and instead, change their relationship to thoughts to reduce overwhelm. He shares practical tips on navigating praise and blame, handling relationships at work, and bringing mindfulness practice to the workplace. The 10% Happier app also offers a free Work Life Challenge, featuring guided meditations from Matthew and other meditation teachers. By applying mindfulness and other meditative concepts to the workplace, we can make work less of a slog and more of a source of personal growth.
Recognizing thoughts aren't always real truths: Focusing on trusting relationships, skills, and humility can help alleviate feelings of overwhelm. Don't strive for perfection, take things moment by moment.
Dealing with feelings of overwhelm requires recognizing that our thoughts, while persistent, are not always real truths. Meditation practice has helped the speaker learn this skill, but it's applicable to everyone. Overwhelm can be thought of as a "mind-created world of misery," and feeding these thoughts only amplifies the feeling. Instead, focusing on trusting relationships, relying on developed skills, and staying humble and willing to learn can help alleviate feelings of overwhelm. It's important to remember that we don't have to be perfect or do everything better than we are right now to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Instead, taking things moment by moment and doing the best we can can help us navigate uncertainty and new experiences.
Recognizing the power of our thoughts: Our thoughts shape our inner world and outcomes, but they're not facts. By recognizing their power and seeking alternative perspectives, we can transform our mindset and improve results.
Our thoughts, even those that seem overwhelming or true, are just perspectives we can choose to believe or not. Using the metaphor of a palace, the speaker explains that when we feel overwhelmed, it's often because we've constructed a mental palace out of negative thoughts. However, these thoughts are not facts, but rather perspectives. For instance, a deadline or a negative review may be true, but the way we think about them can lead to either overwhelm or creative engagement. By recognizing the power of our thoughts and seeking alternative perspectives, we can transform our inner world and ultimately improve our outcomes. Practically, this means questioning our thoughts and asking what else is true, as well as leaning on relationships for help and grace when feeling overwhelmed.
Building relationships reduces feelings of overwhelm: Reaching out for help and building relationships can lighten mental load and bring joy and fulfillment to both parties.
Building and nurturing relationships with others can help reduce feelings of overwhelm and make heavy burdens seem lighter. This is because we are a collaborative species, and the act of sharing our thoughts and burdens with trusted individuals taps into our evolutionarily bequeathed wiring for communication and cooperation. For those who have grown up internalizing the conditioning to take care of all responsibilities alone, reaching out for help may be uncomfortable at first, but ultimately, it pays off as it allows us to build meaningful connections and lighten our mental load. Additionally, helping others can also bring joy and fulfillment to both parties, making the act of asking for help a form of generosity.
Practicing Generosity Brings Mental Freedom and Well-being: Generosity brings joy to the giver and receiver, fosters a desire for others' well-being, and helps reduce mental stress by focusing on the present moment
Generosity, a foundational value in Buddhism, can bring about mental freedom and well-being for both the giver and the receiver. The act of giving and the feeling of being generous can free up the mind and bring joy to oneself. Moreover, practicing generosity can lead to a desire for others to experience well-being and ease in their lives, creating opportunities for them to express their own generosity. Additionally, dealing with feelings of overwhelm can be addressed by focusing on the present moment and taking things one moment at a time, rather than dwelling on future tasks and deadlines. This practice can help reduce mental stress and make work life a source of well-being.
Focus on the present moment and tackle one task at a time: Practice mindfulness to reduce overwhelm and increase productivity by focusing on the present and breaking down large tasks into manageable moments
Trying to handle multiple days' worth of work in a single moment can lead to feelings of overwhelm. Instead, it's important to focus on the present moment and tackle one task at a time. This mindset can be strengthened through mindfulness practices, such as meditation, which help train the mind to let go of compelling thoughts and focus on the present. By breaking down large tasks into manageable moments, we can reduce feelings of overwhelm and increase productivity. Remember, the next five minutes is all we need to focus on, and taking care of ourselves in the present will help us tackle the future.
Focus on positive intention towards person and relationship: When delivering tough messages, focus on positive intentions to build trust and support growth and project success
Effective communication in the workplace, particularly when giving feedback, can be challenging. However, having a positive intention and expressing care for the relationship can make a significant difference. As a Dharma teacher, I've learned to remember this advice from communications coaches Moudita Nisker and Dan Klerman: when delivering tough messages, focus on your positive intention towards the person and the relationship. By doing so, the recipient is more likely to receive the feedback positively, as they trust that your intentions are to support their growth and the success of the project.
Communicating Effectively and Maintaining Positive Relationships in Feedback: Establish positive intention, invest in relationship, understand each other's backs, consider timing and delivery, give people agency, check in on relationship, prioritize open communication for productive and respectful feedback exchanges
Effective communication and maintaining a positive working relationship are crucial when giving feedback, especially when there's a power differential. It's important to establish a positive intention and invest in the relationship, ensuring both parties understand that they have each other's backs. Timing and delivery are also key factors, as well as giving people agency in how they receive feedback. When delivering critical feedback to colleagues, checking in on the relationship and ensuring open communication can help level the power dynamic. However, in hierarchical workplaces, the power differential should not be taken lightly, and feedback should be given thoughtfully and respectfully. Overall, prioritizing the relationship and open communication can lead to productive and respectful feedback exchanges.
Importance of authenticity and honesty in relationships: Be thoughtful and careful when giving feedback, especially in power imbalances. Honesty is valued, but prioritize safety and well-being. Build trust for direct feedback in professional relationships.
Authenticity and honesty are important in relationships, but it's equally crucial to be thoughtful and careful, especially when dealing with power imbalances. Feedback can be challenging to give and receive, and reacting defensively can lead to damaging dynamics. Honesty is highly valued in Buddhism, but it's essential to consider the safety and well-being of both parties before speaking up. Building trust and mutual commitment in professional relationships can make it safer to give honest and direct feedback, even in hierarchical settings. Ultimately, it's essential to evaluate whether staying in a workplace where authenticity is not possible could have detrimental consequences for one's well-being.
Understanding praise and blame at work: Strive for authentic relationships and honest communication, recognize praise and blame as impersonal and impermanent, and maintain a balanced perspective to be effective in work and foster healthier relationships.
It's essential to establish authentic relationships at work and strive for honest communication, including giving and receiving feedback. The Buddhist concept of praise and blame can help us understand these experiences as natural and impermanent, allowing us to maintain equanimity and focus on the work itself, rather than being derailed by our obsession with social validation. However, it's also crucial to acknowledge the importance of managing our reputation and being mindful of how we are perceived in the world. By recognizing praise and blame as impersonal and impermanent, we can avoid becoming overly attached to them and maintain a balanced perspective. Ultimately, this approach can help us be more effective in our work and foster healthier relationships with our colleagues.
Exploring the importance of mindfulness in work life: Bringing mindfulness practices into our workday can transform it into a meditation practice, leading to increased joy, humor, patience, and generosity, ultimately enhancing our work life and overall happiness.
We should aim to bring mindfulness and intention into our work lives, rather than viewing it as a source of stress and anxiety. Misha Brown's podcast, The Big Flop, explores failed pop culture experiments, and in one episode, they discussed the reality TV show, The Swan, which highlighted the importance of considering the impact of our actions on others. Brown emphasizes that we should strive for balance in our lives, especially in our work, which is where we spend a significant amount of time. By bringing mindfulness practices, such as noticing how often we reach for a coffee cup, into our workday, we can transform it into a meditation practice and improve our overall well-being. This investment in ourselves can lead to increased joy, humor, patience, and generosity, ultimately enhancing our work life and overall happiness.
Noticing habits and emotions in daily tasks: Practicing mindfulness during work routines can lead to greater resilience and overall well-being by increasing self-awareness and creativity.
Even in the midst of our daily work routines, we can practice mindfulness and self-care. Using the example of reaching for a coffee cup, the simple act of noticing our habits and emotions can help us become more attuned to our subtle well-being and respond creatively to challenges. This practice, rooted in mindfulness and contemplative practices, can help us build resilience and feel like our own ally at work. Despite leading busy lives and needing to earn a living, finding small moments for self-awareness can lead to greater staying power and overall well-being. The speaker, who has spent much of their adult life balancing work and meditation, emphasizes the importance of paying attention to the smallest details and finding creative ways to incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives.
Value of openness and flexibility in the workplace: Be open to others' perspectives, reduce competitive culture, and own personal weaknesses for effective collaboration and personal growth.
Having openness and flexibility, even when holding strong opinions, can lead to a more productive and harmonious workplace environment. This value, named "Don't side with yourself," encourages active listening and perspective-taking, rather than digging in and advocating for one's opinion against all comers. This approach, with roots in Buddhist teachings, can help reduce a combative and competitive workplace culture and lead to more effective collaboration. Additionally, owning one's "crap," or having self-awareness of personal weaknesses and areas for growth, can lead to stronger work relationships and overall personal growth.
Being vulnerable in the workplace leads to better conversations: Acknowledging weaknesses can lead to improved conversations with superiors, opening opportunities for growth and development.
Being vulnerable and acknowledging your weaknesses in the workplace can lead to more productive and open conversations with your superiors. The speaker, Dan, shared his experience of doing just that during a reorganization discussion, which led his supervisors to view him in a new light and appreciate his self-awareness. This authentic approach not only improved the conversation but also opened up opportunities for growth and development. It's essential to remember that acknowledging weaknesses is not a sign of failure but an opportunity to learn and improve. So, be brave, own your vulnerabilities, and lead with transparency in your professional life.
