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    E43 Ask Nick - What The Fiancé

    enSeptember 16, 2019

    Podcast Summary

    • Be mindful of home products and consider essential oilsConsider using essential oils for a healthier home alternative and reassess relationships with second chances in mind

      It's important to be mindful of the products we use in our homes, particularly when it comes to air fresheners. Essential oils offer a healthier alternative, providing medicinal benefits and a pleasing scent without releasing harmful chemicals into the air. Additionally, it's okay to reassess past decisions and give people a second chance if we find ourselves feeling differently about them. It's not always about being righteous or shallow; sometimes, it's just about recognizing that people can change and grow. And if you're looking for a new essential oil brand, Natural Habits offers a range of high-quality options, including their seasonal "Protect" blend for the holidays. Remember, small changes can make a big difference in both our health and relationships.

    • Being too fixated on checklists can hinder meaningful relationshipsHaving strict requirements for a partner can limit opportunities for connections. Being open to getting to know people and giving them a chance can lead to unexpected and fulfilling relationships.

      Having a rigid checklist for potential partners can limit opportunities for meaningful connections. In the discussion, Rochelle shared her struggle with a friend who keeps complaining about not being able to find a nice guy. The friend has a long list of requirements for a partner, including specifications about age, looks, height, religious and political views, and occupation. However, she is dismissive of potential matches based on small issues, which might be preventing her from forming meaningful relationships. Shelby, who is married, gave the example of how her husband wouldn't have met her criteria if she had stuck to her checklist. The friend's height requirement was also a sensitive issue, as she had grown up being teased about her height. While it's natural to have preferences, being too fixated on them can hinder the ability to connect with others. Instead, being open to getting to know people and giving them a chance can lead to unexpected and fulfilling relationships.

    • The challenge of having high standardsRecognize the challenge of having high standards, reflect on personal role, and be patient in search for a compatible partner.

      While it's natural for individuals to have certain preferences and standards in a potential partner, constantly complaining about not finding someone who meets those expectations can be counterproductive. It's important to recognize that having high standards comes with the challenge of finding someone who aligns with those standards. Encouraging self-reflection and acknowledging personal role in one's relationship status can help shift perspective and potentially lead to more meaningful connections. Additionally, it's essential to remember that everyone has unique preferences and it's impossible to change someone's attraction to certain qualities. Ultimately, owning one's standards and being patient in the search for a compatible partner can lead to a more fulfilling relationship.

    • Supporting a friend's unique dating preferencesEncourage friends to respect their individual dating choices, and offer support to broaden their experiences.

      The friend in question may have unrealistic expectations and a limited dating experience, leading to her being overly selective and potentially using her virginity as an excuse to stay emotionally protected. It's important for her friend to be supportive and encourage her to meet new people and gain experiences, rather than making her feel judged. Some people, like Ashley, may have unique personalities that make them more selective in their dating lives, and it's essential to recognize and respect these differences. Encouraging her to step out of her comfort zone and try new things could help her broaden her horizons and potentially find a compatible partner.

    • Supporting friends in loveEncourage friends to broaden dating horizons without judgment, acknowledge their timelines, and help them see contradictions in actions.

      It's important to support friends who are struggling with relationships, even if they seem overly picky or focused on unmet expectations. It's natural to want to encourage them to broaden their horizons and consider new possibilities, but it's essential to do so in a non-judgmental way. Friends should remember that everyone has different timelines for finding love and that high expectations don't necessarily mean settling for less. By reminding them of their own desires and the importance of taking ownership of their choices, friends can help their loved ones see the contradiction in their actions and potentially open up to new opportunities. Ultimately, it's crucial to be supportive and understanding while acknowledging the frustration that can come from witnessing a friend's repeated complaints about their dating life.

    • Owning your feelings and expectations in relationshipsBeing self-aware and communicative are essential components of a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Address insecurities in a healthy way through communication and understanding.

      It's important to own your feelings and expectations in relationships, while also avoiding the victim mentality. Being confident in your decisions and holding firm to what you deserve is essential. However, it's also crucial to recognize when you're being unreasonable or projecting your insecurities onto situations. Communication and understanding are key to navigating through insecurities in a relationship. It's normal to experience insecurities, but it's important to address them in a healthy way. Checking in with your partner and expressing your concerns can help clarify any misunderstandings and strengthen your bond. Additionally, recognizing when you're making a big deal out of small things can help prevent unnecessary conflicts. Overall, being self-aware and communicative are essential components of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

    • Understanding the Root Causes of Insecurity and JealousyCommunication, self-awareness, and self-compassion are essential in managing feelings of insecurity and jealousy in relationships. Recognize that everyone has their own interests and needs, and try to understand the root cause of these emotions to build trust and strengthen the bond.

      Feelings of insecurity and jealousy in relationships can stem from within and may not always be rational. The speaker acknowledges her own insecurities and how they can be triggered by perceived lack of attention or time spent apart from her partner. She also mentions how past experiences of unmet needs and feeling needy have contributed to her current feelings. The key takeaway is that communication and self-awareness are crucial in managing these emotions. It's important to recognize that everyone has their own interests and needs, and it's natural to feel insecure or jealous at times. However, it's essential to try to understand the root cause of these feelings and communicate openly with your partner to build trust and strengthen the relationship. Additionally, being self-aware and practicing self-compassion can help minimize the impact of these emotions on the relationship.

    • Expressing unmet needs in a relationshipCommunicate needs effectively, find compromises, respect differences, and seek help when needed for a strong and fulfilling relationship.

      Communication is key in a healthy relationship. If you're feeling insecure or jealous, it might be due to unmet needs. It's essential to express these needs to your partner and find a compromise that works for both of you. Don't be afraid to be a little selfish from time to time, but also be willing to be selfless when needed. Everyone has different needs and wants, and it's important to recognize and respect these differences. If you're having trouble expressing your needs, consider seeking help from a therapist or trusted friend. Remember, it's not fair to expect your partner to read your mind or constantly prioritize your needs over their own. Effective communication and compromise are the foundation of a strong and fulfilling relationship.

    • Expressing needs and setting boundariesCommunicate openly about needs and expectations, find balance, and respect differences while compromising to avoid misunderstandings and feelings of being taken advantage of.

      Communication and setting boundaries are key in any relationship. It's important for both partners to express their needs and expectations, while also being open to compromise and meeting each other's selfless and selfish needs. However, if one partner consistently gives in to the other's demands without expressing their own needs, it can lead to resentment and confusion when they finally decide to assert themselves. It's essential to find a balance and communicate openly about boundaries and expectations to avoid misunderstandings and feelings of being taken advantage of. Additionally, everyone has different preferences and desires in a relationship, and it's important to recognize and respect those differences while maintaining open communication and compromise.

    • Uncertainty about future due to lack of marriage proposalDespite long-term relationship, one partner's reluctance to propose leaves the other feeling uncertain about their future and desiring the benefits of marriage

      Mackenzie has been with her fiancé for over seven years, but he hasn't proposed, leaving her feeling uncertain about their future. Mackenzie shared that their engagement didn't go as she had imagined, and she feels that he proposed out of social pressure rather than genuine desire. She expressed that while she's happy being with him, there are certain benefits to being married that she values, such as legal and practical matters. Mackenzie's friend's situation further emphasized her perspective, as her friend's boyfriend was uncomfortable with the commitment of marriage. Despite her attempts to bring up the topic, her fiancé remains noncommittal. It seems clear that he doesn't want to get married, and Mackenzie wanted to share her observations with an objective third party.

    • Prioritize personal happiness over societal pressureDon't base significant life decisions on societal pressure, especially marriage. Assess partner's unwillingness to marry, and be patient in finding a compatible match, even if having children.

      It's essential to prioritize personal happiness and relationships over societal pressure when making significant life decisions. The speaker encourages not to base such decisions on what others think, especially when it comes to marriage. Additionally, it's crucial to assess whether the partner's unwillingness to marry is a deal-breaker or if the relationship issues stem from other factors. Lastly, having children doesn't necessarily put pressure on finding a life partner, and it's important to be patient and open to finding a compatible match.

    • Prioritize your happiness in relationshipsFocus on your needs and happiness in relationships, have honest conversations, and don't stay out of fear or obligation.

      It's important to prioritize your own needs and happiness in a relationship, even if societal pressure or past commitments make it difficult. If you're feeling unfulfilled or unsure about the future, it may be time to have an honest conversation with your partner about your desires and intentions. You don't have to stay in a relationship out of fear or obligation, especially if you're not getting your needs met. Instead, focus on what's best for you and your future. If the relationship is worth saving, your partner may be motivated to make changes. But if not, it's okay to move on and find someone who aligns more closely with your goals and values. Remember, your happiness is worth fighting for, even if it means making tough decisions.

    • Focus on personal needs and desires in relationshipsDon't rush major life decisions, communicate openly, be true to oneself, and prioritize personal goals for successful relationships.

      It's important to focus on your own needs and desires in relationships rather than trying to meet societal expectations or please others. The speaker emphasized that people should not rush into marriage or other major life decisions, as doing so can lead to regret and a loss of personal power. Additionally, open communication and understanding of each other's goals and aspirations are crucial for a successful relationship. The speaker also mentioned that it's essential to be true to oneself and not compromise personal dreams for the sake of conformity. Overall, the conversation highlighted the importance of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and authenticity in relationships.

    • Career goals vs. family businessHonesty and communication are essential in addressing career aspirations vs. family obligations in a relationship. Consider priorities and compromise to prevent feelings of resentment and unhappiness.

      It's essential to be honest with yourself and your partner about your career goals and aspirations in a relationship. If there's a significant difference in this area, it could lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction. In the discussed scenario, one partner is concerned that their dreams and career growth might be hindered by their partner's decision to stay in a small town and run a family business. The other partner acknowledges these concerns but cannot promise a move or change in the near future. It's crucial for both individuals to consider their priorities and whether they're compatible in the long term. Ignoring or suppressing desires for personal growth could lead to feelings of resentment and unhappiness. Communication, understanding, and compromise are key to navigating these situations.

    • Understanding and supporting each other's dreamsPrioritize and support your partner's dreams, even if it requires sacrifice, for a fulfilling relationship.

      In a relationship, especially when considering marriage, both partners need to prioritize each other's dreams and desires. It's not enough for one person to expect the other to conform to their own dreams or expectations. Instead, each person should make an effort to understand and support the other's aspirations. This may require sacrifice and selflessness on both sides. If one partner is unable or unwilling to prioritize the other's dreams, then it may be necessary to have an honest and non-defensive conversation about the future of the relationship. Ultimately, it's important to remember that life is uncertain and can be scary, but taking risks and pursuing your dreams can lead to exciting experiences.

    • Be true to yourself and make choices that align with your happinessHonesty with oneself leads to making unconventional yet fulfilling choices, avoiding regret and creating genuine relationships.

      It's essential to be honest with yourself about what you truly want and what will make you happy, even if it means making unconventional choices or leaving a current path. Regret is a real feeling, and it's unfair to lead others on if deep down, you're not content with the situation. Being selfish early in life can allow for selflessness later on. However, it's important to remember that feeling trapped is often not the reality, and we create our own prisons. In relationships, both parties should want what they're pursuing genuinely, and it may be unfair to marry if there are conflicting desires. The family business and its expectations can be a tricky situation, especially for young people trying to live up to them. Ultimately, it's crucial to be true to yourself and make choices that align with your happiness.

    • Understanding and respecting individual needsRecognize and prioritize your own needs while also considering the needs of others, find a balance, and communicate effectively.

      It's important to recognize and prioritize your own needs while also considering the needs of others. Being overly self-centered or overly selfless can be detrimental. It's crucial to find a balance and communicate effectively with those around you. Remember, everyone has unique desires and it's okay to pursue them, as long as it doesn't infringe on others' well-being. Don't be afraid to be a little selfish from time to time, but also be mindful of the impact on those around you. Overall, the conversation emphasized the importance of understanding and respecting individual needs and finding a balance between self-interest and consideration for others.

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    To start things out, we invite Tolú Ekundare from Netflix’s Perfect Match… She shares her experience matching with Izzy Zapata, Dom Gabriel, and Chris Hahn. Then we get to our interview with West. How was his first season? Who does he still talk to? Does he regret his relationship with Ciara?

    “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” 

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     Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    05:48 - Household Headlines
    12:23 - Love Island
    17:57 - Summerhouse Drama
    21:05 - Captain Lee
    25:39 - Sleep Training
    31:08 - Age
    34:28 - Tolú Interview
    57:10 - Feedback
    01:10:22 - West Interview
    01:17:01 - New To Bravo
    01:19:55 - Saying Weird Things
    01:21:35 - Bachelor
    01:22:37 - Selfie
    01:30:54 - Your Heart
    01:43:15 - Love Languages
    01:50:26 - Dads
    01:54:12 - Team Carl
    01:59:55 - Her Take
    02:04:27 - Open
    02:14:39 - TOH
    02:30:00 - What Is Next
    02:32:52 - Ciara
    02:48:04 - Sports
    02:48:45 - Off Your Chest
    02:49:28 - Coming on ViFi
    02:53:59 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 13, 2024

    E761 RR - Summer House Reunion, Perfect Match w/ Kaz, Sandoval Drama, and Traitors Cast

    E761 RR - Summer House Reunion, Perfect Match w/ Kaz, Sandoval Drama, and Traitors Cast

    Welcome back to reality recap. Today we discuss all of the drama… ranging from Billie Lee slamming Sandoval’s new girlfriend, West Wilson getting grilled during the Summer House Reunion Part 1, Traitors cast announcement, and Jesse Lally having an affair with Anna Nicole Smith. Meanwhile, Kaz Bishop, from The Perfect Match zooms in! What’s it like back on TV, who does he want to match with, and does he regret anything? 

    “All I'm hearing is you’re a bottom feeder” 

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    3:54 - Bottom Feeders and Traitors
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    24:09 - Kids
    30:12 - Kaz Interview
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    01:04:54 - Summerhouse
    01:37:02 - The Valley
    01:38:34 - Stalkers
    01:45:25 - Outro

    The Viall Files
    enJune 11, 2024

    E760 Ask Nick - Carrying My BFF’s Baby

    E760 Ask Nick - Carrying My BFF’s Baby

    Welcome back to another episode of The Viall Files: Ask Nick Edition! Before we get to our callers, we talk about menu anxiety and gentle parenting. Then we get to our callers…

    Our first caller is carrying her best friend's baby, but her mother and law doesn’t approve. Our Second caller is a single mom and it’s been 9 years since she’s last called someone her boyfriend. Finally, our third caller feels like the city she lives in makes it impossible to move on from her ex.

    “When you look back at your relationship, was he really the perfect boyfriend?”

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    The Viall Files
    enJune 10, 2024

    E759 GD w Kristen Doute & Brianna Lapaglia - Valley Finale, Cast Separations, Tour Life & Car Accidents

    E759 GD w Kristen Doute & Brianna Lapaglia - Valley Finale, Cast Separations, Tour Life & Car Accidents

    Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper Edition! 

    To start things out, we invite Brianna Lapaglia into the studio… How’s tour life with her boyfriend, Zack Bryan. How did she stumble into the podcasting world, choose her stage name, and navigate meeting other celebrities. Brianna answers it all! Then, we bring in Kristen Doute, formerly of Vanderpump Rules, and now of Bravo’s The Valley. She’s back on TV, the finale just aired, and new tea has occurred off camera. What’s her real thoughts on her castmates: Zack, Janet, and Michelle. And how is Luke adapting to being on Reality TV in Los Angeles? 

    And don’t forget, we have a Texting Office Hours caller who wants to encourage her boyfriend to have kids.

    “Janet is, she’s a confusing little bird.” 

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    Please make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode and as always send in your relationship questions to asknick@theviallfiles.com to be a part of our Monday episodes.

    Listen To Disrespectfully now!

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    Timestamps:
    00:00 - Intro
    02:37 - Nicknames
    07:21 - Serial
    10:00 - The Boyfriend
    23:46 - What’s Next
    28:06 - Car Wreck
    31:38 - Lyrics
    35:02 - Pop Topics
    40:57 - How You Met
    44:27 - More Pop
    54:23 - Welcome Kristen
    57:50 - Serious Subject
    01:00:15 - Luke
    01:04:28 - Tom
    01:05:25 - Jax
    01:29:42 - Check In
    01:38:36 - Michelle and Jesse
    01:48:56 - Season Two
    01:50:42 - LaLa
    01:56:42 - VPR Reunion
    02:03:40 - TOH
    02:16:30 - Post Call Talk
    02:19:46 - Luke and Tom
    02:24:19 - Scheana
    02:28:48 - Michelle’s Future
    02:31:15 - Jax’s Bar
    02:33:16 - Outro

     

    The Viall Files
    enJune 06, 2024

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