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    How to be a supportive friend

    en-usMay 19, 2020

    Podcast Summary

    • Check in with yourself before showing up for othersPrioritize self-care and active listening when supporting friends to foster meaningful connections

      In order to effectively show up for your friends and loved ones during challenging times, it's crucial to prioritize self-care and focus on the person you're engaging with. Rachel Wilkerson Miller, author of "The Art of Showing Up," emphasizes the importance of checking in with yourself before extending support to others. It's essential to ensure you're emotionally and physically prepared to listen and offer genuine empathy. When conversing with a friend, keep the focus on them and practice active listening. Avoid sharing your own experiences unless explicitly invited or it adds value to the conversation. By prioritizing your friend's needs and maintaining a present and attentive mindset, you'll create a more meaningful and supportive connection.

    • Shift from listening to respond to listening to understandAsk thoughtful questions to build deeper connections and make people feel truly heard. Apologize genuinely for mistakes to provide comfort and validation.

      Effective communication involves truly listening to others and asking thoughtful questions to understand their feelings. It's important to shift our mindset from listening to respond to listening to understand. Asking questions like "what's the best way I can support you right now?" or "how are you feeling about it?" can help build a deeper connection and make people feel truly heard. Additionally, apologizing genuinely and without cliches can provide significant comfort and validation in difficult situations. Remember, the goal is to communicate empathy and understanding, not to have the perfect response every time.

    • Validate friend's feelings, avoid minimizingEmpathize and understand, don't compare or minimize friend's emotions. Validate their unique experience.

      When trying to comfort a friend during a difficult time, it's important to validate their feelings and avoid minimizing their experience, even if it's common. Sharing personal anecdotes can be helpful, but it's crucial to ensure the conversation remains focused on the friend and their experience. Citing statistics or comparing experiences can unintentionally make the friend feel dismissed or isolated. Instead, expressing empathy and understanding can help them feel supported and less alone. Remember, every person's experience is unique, and acknowledging the bigness of their emotions can make a significant difference.

    • Avoid foisting and fretting when supporting a friendEmpower friends to control conversations, avoid unwanted advice, and offer regular check-ins for ongoing support.

      When supporting a friend going through a difficult time, it's essential to avoid foisting or fretting. Foisting refers to pushing unwanted advice or solutions, while fretting involves constantly worrying and asking if you're doing enough. Both behaviors come from a place of caring but can unintentionally burden the friend further. Instead, give them control and let them decide when and if they want to discuss their experiences. Empowering them in this way can lead to a more meaningful and supportive conversation. Additionally, remember that supporting a friend is an ongoing process. Regular check-ins are necessary to ensure they're coping well and to offer continued support. Overall, being mindful of your actions and giving your friend the space they need can lead to a more effective and compassionate response during difficult times.

    • Supporting a loved one during difficult timesRegularly check-in, follow their lead, acknowledge feelings, and treat them with compassion.

      Supporting a loved one going through a difficult time requires empathy and understanding. Grief is an unpredictable process, and anniversaries of significant events can be particularly challenging. To show up effectively, regularly check-in with friends and be aware of potentially difficult anniversaries. It's essential to follow their lead and be there for them, whether that means making things feel more normal or being present during their sadness. Remember, it's important to acknowledge that this time is not normal for them and validate their feelings. Treating them with compassion and understanding can make a significant difference. Rachel Wilkerson Miller, author of "The Art of Showing Up," emphasizes the importance of following your friend's cues and being there for them in their time of need. For more tips on self-care and other topics, subscribe to the LIFE KIT newsletter.

    • Exploring the origins of the N95 mask and other podcast recommendationsThe NPR podcast 'THROUGHLINE' delves into the history of the N95 mask, while 'Choiceology' discusses human decision-making and 'Code Switch' tackles race and identity. State Farm agents offer customized insurance for small businesses.

      The use of face masks as a health and safety measure has become commonplace during the ongoing pandemic. But have you ever wondered about the origins of the N95 mask and how it became such a crucial lifesaving tool? This question is explored in depth in the podcast "THROUGHLINE" from NPR. Meanwhile, if you're interested in understanding the psychology and economics behind people's decisions, check out the podcast "Choiceology" from NPR, sponsored by Charles Schwab. And for those with small businesses, State Farm agents, who are also small business owners, can help you choose personalized policies to protect your livelihood. Lastly, the Code Switch podcast from NPR continues to have conversations about race and identity beyond the headlines, bringing that perspective to every story.

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