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    How to get over someone

    en-usFebruary 10, 2022
    What are common effects of heartbreak mentioned in the text?
    How can self-care aid in healing from heartbreak?
    What secondary emotions often accompany feelings of sadness?
    What actions can help alleviate pain from heartbreak?
    What practical tip is provided for drying wet shoes?

    Podcast Summary

    • Healing from Heartbreak: A Journey to RecoveryHeartbreaks cause pain, but with self-care, support, and time, it's possible to heal and move forward. Apple Card and Whole Foods Market can help in the process.

      Heartbreak can be a devastating experience, leaving people feeling lost and unsure of their identity. As shared by The Life Kit on NPR, heartbreaks come in various forms, and regardless of the circumstances, they all cause pain. Amy Chan, a friend of the host, experienced heartbreak due to infidelity and the fallout was severe. She dealt with depression, panic attacks, and even stopped eating. The pain of heartbreak is real, and it's important to acknowledge it. However, there are ways to heal and move on. This episode of NPR's Life Kit offers insights on how to recover from heartbreak. Whether it's a slow dissolve, an immediate ending, or a mutual decision, heartbreaks all require time and effort to heal. In the midst of the pain, it's essential to take care of oneself. Whole Foods Market, a sponsor of NPR, offers wallet-friendly options for hosting a celebration brunch to help lift your spirits. Apple Card, another sponsor, provides an opportunity to earn daily cash back on purchases, making the process of treating yourself to something nice a little more rewarding. In conclusion, heartbreaks can be incredibly challenging, but with the right support, self-care, and time, it's possible to heal and move forward. Remember, it's okay to acknowledge the pain and take care of yourself during this process.

    • The Pain of a Breakup is Real and Worthy of Self-CareA breakup affects us on both an emotional and physical level, requiring self-care and time to grieve and heal, while avoiding substances that cloud judgment and amplify negative emotions.

      A breakup is not just an emotional experience, but a physical one as well. According to Naomi Eisenberger, a professor of psychology at UCLA, when we experience rejection, our brains respond as if we're in physical pain. This means that the pain of a breakup is real and worthy of our self-care. Orna Guralnick, a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst, emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and respecting this pain, as it comes from the deepest and most profound part of our being. Additionally, it's important to face reality and actually be broken up, even if it's difficult. The neural pathways that have been wired together during a relationship can leave us in a state of shock when it ends, making it hard for our bodies to adjust to the absence of love hormones. It's essential to avoid using substances like alcohol and drugs as a crutch during this time, as they can cloud our judgment and amplify negative emotions. In conclusion, a breakup is a complex experience that affects us on both an emotional and physical level. It's crucial to give ourselves the time and space to grieve and heal, and to avoid making decisions while under the influence. Remember, the pain of a breakup is real, and it's essential to respect it.

    • Preventing Personal Growth with Ex-RelationshipsAvoiding contact with an ex and focusing on self-reflection instead of seeking closure or dwelling on the past can promote personal growth and healing.

      Continuing to contact an ex or dwell on the past relationship can prevent personal growth and healing. According to Amy Chan, this behavior keeps old neural pathways active and hinders the process of pruning away. The desire for closure is often a misconception, as what people truly seek is relief from pain. It's essential not to view the breakup through the lens of the ex and to avoid blaming, analyzing, or villainizing them. Instead, acknowledging the facts and telling the true story of what happened is crucial for moving forward. At Amy Chan's retreats, she helps people recognize and challenge their cognitive distortions, allowing them to work with reality and focus on self-reflection.

    • Understanding Negative Patterns in RelationshipsIdentify cognitive distortions, learn from past experiences, and seek help when stuck in unhealthy patterns for personal growth.

      Recognizing and understanding patterns of negative thinking and emotional responses in relationships is crucial for personal growth. This process involves identifying cognitive distortions, learning from past experiences, and distinguishing between helpful insights and shame-based thoughts. It's essential to acknowledge when you're stuck in unhealthy patterns and seek help if necessary. Everyone heals at their own pace, but if you find yourself experiencing the same emotional turmoil with no progress, it may be a sign that you need to take a closer look at your thought processes and consider seeking professional help.

    • Feeding Emotional Monster after a BreakupInstead of ruminating on negative emotions after a breakup, practice opposite actions to ease the pain and move on.

      Getting stuck in negative emotions after a relationship ends is a common experience, but feeding those emotions only makes them grow stronger. According to the discussion, when we feel a primary emotion like sadness, we may also experience secondary emotions like shame or guilt. These secondary emotions can lead us to "feed the emotional monster" by ruminating on our thoughts and stories, making the emotions last longer. Instead, it's essential to practice opposite actions, such as standing up tall, putting on a positive playlist, or engaging in activities that release opioids, like exercise or being with loved ones. These actions can help ease the pain and eventually allow us to move on and invest in new hobbies or relationships when we're ready.

    • Healing from a breakup: respect the pain and focus on self-growthRespect the pain, focus on self-reflection, and try new experiences to move past a breakup.

      After experiencing a breakup, it's important to respect the pain and give yourself time to heal. Don't dwell on your ex or try to seek closure, instead focus on self-reflection and growth. When you're ready, try opening your heart again and going on a date. Remember, the tools to move past heartache do exist, and the pain isn't forever. Additionally, if you find yourself in a rut, try energizing your body through exercise or a new passion to break the cycle. And lastly, a practical tip from a listener: if your shoes get soaking wet, stuff them with crumpled newspaper to absorb the moisture and help them dry quickly.

    • Understanding the Psychology of Decision-MakingOur decisions are influenced by various psychological and economic factors including emotions, biases, and past experiences.

      Learning from this episode of Choiceology, produced by Meghan Keane and edited by Beth Donovan, is that our decisions are influenced by various psychological and economic factors. The team behind the podcast includes Audrey Nguyen, Andy Tagle, Janet Woojung Lee, and Beck Harlin. Listeners also shared their post-breakup tips. Sponsoring this episode is Charles Schwab with their original podcast, Choiceology. Additionally, this message is brought to you by Wondery, which presents FX's The Veil, an international spy thriller featuring Elizabeth Moss. In 2072, the city of Pura protects its residents from global catastrophes, but a dark secret threatens its existence. Listeners can binge all episodes of The Last City ad-free on Wondery Plus. Furthermore, this podcast episode explores the intricacies of decision-making and how our choices are shaped by our emotions, biases, and past experiences. The team at Choiceology delves deep into these topics, making it an engaging and insightful listen for anyone interested in understanding human behavior. So, whether you're going through a breakup or just curious about the psychology of decision-making, tune in to Choiceology for valuable insights.

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